The Super Short Top Ten Worst Hit songs of 2023

 I have decided to ditch doing a full on worst list for 2023, mostly because we've all moved on, I have no will power to revisit any of these crappy songs and most of the bad songs from 2023 will npt have any kind of staying power apart from a few unfortunate exceptions.

Before we briefly go tip diving, here's a reminder of the rules, a song can qualify for this list if it first appearedon the 2023 ARIA year end or was higher on the 2023 year end than it did on the 2022 year end, also this list is not definitive, it's just my opinion. 

10. "Flowers" by Miley Cyrus (I remember being so excited for this song's release, hearing a song that sounded so bland and cookie cutter and feeling disappointed, Miley, you are better than this, Bring back the "Plastic Hearts" Miley please)

9. "Players" by Coi Leray (Look, Coi Leray has got talent but like Miley, she wastes it on lazy sampling this time using an iconic 80s song from Grandmaster Flash with some pretty terrible lyrics about how girls do the exact same thing as guys,...come on...,it's just lame at this point, Coi)

8. "Green Green Grass"  by George Ezra (What on earth was this? A song aimed for Dulux colour chart ads, Bob Ross or Play School. This was a massive disappointment from George Ezra who I frankly expected better of than this shit).

7. "Popular" by The Weeknd feat. Playboi Carti and Madonna (The music from the Idol pretty much matches the TV show. None of the trio involved with this disaster of a song gives a good performance here, if anything it exposed how overexposed The Weeknd is).

6. "You Proof" by Morgan Wallen (Wow, this song sure sounds like what I would imagine a stomache virus would sound like. Not only is the song sour but Morgan Wallen sounds so fucking insufferably smug on this song that I want to throw things if the song didn't sound so damn lethargic)

5. "Let Go" by Central Cee (When you take a terrible 2013 Passenger song and make it worse and with this dude getting features on other mediocre rappers albums, we might not be rid of him. Just lovely...not)

4. "Daylight" by David Kushner (Okay so Australia wanted Hozier in 2023 but went for a bad rip off instead of anything from that Hozier album last year and now that Hozier is back, we have no need for anymore of these hacky rip offs)

3. "The Color Violet" by Tory Lanez (Well, this is awkward considering Tory Lanez is now serving prison time, Only wish people could get prison time for songs like this one that blow so much ass!)

2. "Rich Flex" by Drake and 21 Savage (Ugh, "Her Loss" is easily Drake's worst album to date and while "Rich Flex" is not the worst song on the album, it is emblematic of the issues with that album in that most of it hides behind misogyny and gunplay. It's pathetic, Drake, you are capable of better.)

The number one worst hit song of 2023:

"Last Night" by Morgan Wallen

This wasn't going to be my number one for awhile...it didn't feel like the hit song I hated the most in 2023 until I realized that "Last Night" is basically the tail end of Luke Bryan's "That's My Kind of Night"...drunken sloppy sex and all is remembered is car tail lights disappearing in the dust while all Wallen can remember is that he and this woman let the liquor talk last night in between the sex and presumable fighting.

What drives the song into the ground though is how utterly miserable this song is on an instrumental basis because this can barely be called country with that down tuned guitar and Wallen's whiny nasal vocals that make the song a completely niserable listening experience.

New Music Friday Review Part 1: January 8th. The WORST song of 2021 already?

So this is the lead single from the new Florida Georgia Line album coming soon and I was hoping they'd keep going on their trend from "Lit This Year"...a Christmas song that is pretty good coming from a duo known for bro country so what did we get with "New Truck"?

Seems for the last few years, we've had a song released in early January that was a clear stand out for the year end number one on the worst lists eg: "Yummy":by Justin Bieber last year and "7 Rings" by Ariana Grande in 2019, well "My Truck" by Florida Georgia is that song for 2021 because holy shit, where to even start?

Well let's start with the lyrics which are just Florida Georgia Line's checklist bro country bragging about having this new truck and therefore a new souped ride that they like too high and that's all before using the term 'shawty' like they are Justin Bieber in 2010...what a way to make your song sound instantly dated! Also adlibs because Florida Georgia Line think they can get away with trying to lazily merge country with using stale hip hop adlibs you'd find on Migos albums "Culture" and "Culture II" for that matter. The hip hop integration is at best lousy and at worst fucking insulting to both country and hip hop genres.

Also bragging about having alligator skin interiors? Not sure that's a brag you should be making in a time of strong animal rights considerations.

As for the production, well its closer to pop and hip hop with the leering gang vocals and a creaking noise in the second verse that I was convinced that somebody's cat had somehow been accidentally recorded and included in the mix with how off key it sounds (some cats can meow to a tune but not the one on this Florida Georgia Line song. The vocal delivery on the chorus reminds me of fucking "Swayze" by Zac Brown. Nothing goes with anything and there's not a hit of country instrumentation on the song apart of the braying vocals of the duo.

I originally thought that "My Truck" was so bad that it was perversely funny but than I realized that this could be the next evolution of fucking bro country where it barely even sounds like country music but will get played on country radio anyway...this song is absolute fucking ASS...DO NOT inflict this on anyone.

Rating: 1/10

The Top Ten Worst Hit Songs of 1996

So you may have noticed that this year I have been doing a series on my blog called “Charting 1996” which has been a journey through the year 1996 and the ARIA charts of the time. Why 1996? Well 1996 is around the time that I became interested in top 40/pop music as I would watch Rage on ABC back in the days when they did their top 50 countdown and listen to Take 40 Australia with Barry Bissell on the radio.

However It’s time to look back on the year that was 1996 and delve into the songs that SUCKED and I’ll be honest here, the pickings for bad songs were very slim as the music mostly ranged from excellent to being dull (Dull isn’t something to put a song on the worst list for because if dull was a factor, there’d be several songs that’d be contenders.

1996 was a strange year for the charts where the constant turnover meant a song would stay in the top ten for a couple of weeks and then leave. We also had songs that spent weeks on top of the charts…one of those being on this list, we also got a tonne of covers hitting the charts.

So to make this list, the songs had to make ARIA’s year end list for 1996 and keep in mind that this is just my opinion, my views should not stop you from enjoying these songs if you like them…somehow.

Let’s start with a cover that takes the magic of the original and turns it into mush…

10. “Father and Son” by Boyzone

1996 saw several new boybands hit the Australian charts including Backstreet Boys, No Mercy and Human Nature but the new boy group that claimed the spotlight in early 1996 was Boyzone, a group from out of the UK who were very successful over there and had moderate success in Australia beyond 1996 but this cover of Cat Stevens iconic song “Father and Son” is just passionless droning that sucks the passion, comfort and charm that the original version had. It sounds like Boyzone just sang this out of sheer desperation for something to release because it feels so empty and lacking the comforting warmth of the original.

Oh, and they replaced the guitar with piano and strings to make the song sound not just passionless in the vocals but fucking manufactured which is something I am sure Sufjan Stevens was not intending for the song. Ugh, time to move on.

Boyzone weren’t the only British boy band to try and fail at making a cover, here’s proof.

9. “How Deep Is Your Love” by Take That

Take That were another British boyband that rose to prominence in the UK in 1995 and sadly their success continued with this cover of the Bee Gees 70s hit “How Deep is Your Love” in 1996 and oh dear god, it says something that Glee did this song better in the 2010s and I don’t even LIKE Glee all that much, this cover sounds like four drunk guys on a cheap version of the Love Boat all doing really bad karaoke, it is incredible how off key and monotonous they all sound.

Also why do the backing vocals sound louder on the second verse than the actual lead vocals and why does it all sound like I am on some sleepy bad beach holiday for those forever meant to be single?

The original had an energy, warmth and groove that this flat badly produced garbage doesn’t have, its no fucking wonder Robbie Williams left Take That because shit like this gave him very good damn reason to walk his own way.

Taking a break away from bad cover versions to talk about a song that if it hadn’t been released in 1996, I’d have thought Taylor Swift had wrote it.

8. “Who Do U Love” by Deborah Cox

Deborah Cox is a Canadian singer songwriter and actress who somehow combined a sample of Soul II Soul’s music with Cox really trying hard and mostly failing to be the next Whitney Houston all the while having lyrics that are so god damn toxic that they remind me of some of the more horrible Taylor Swift relationship songs (think “I knew You were trouble” and “You Belong With Me”) because “Who Do you Love” is just ugly.

This man has just walked out on Cox and now she’s wondering who he could possibly want or love more than her because it’s a ‘mystery’ why he left her for another woman because after all there’s no other women out there that is good enough for him and how dare he want and love another woman enough to walk out on her. The lyrics here really do paint Deborah Cox in a rather unflattering light, she comes across as narcissistic and obsessive in a way that is creepy.

This song is just a creepy, badly written clusterfuck however if you want to find absolute awful that was ahead of it’s time then we have…

7. “Hey Lover” by LL Cool J feat. Boyz II Men

So LL Cool J and Boyz II Men are acts I actually respect within the realm of 90s hip hop and R’n”B, Boyz II Men made pleasant r’n’b jams that were chill enough to relax too while LL Cool J did bust out some pretty incredible hip hop in the mid-90s which is why it’s such a shame that their collaboration resulted in this garbage.

This song is one of those “Imma steal your girl” songs which makes it ahead of its time considering the proliferation of these sort of songs in the 2010s. Now Boyz II Men frame the song as the man this girl is with is neglects her but honestly the rest is so god damn creepy and the fact LL Cool J says its his mission to take this girl off this other dude is not cool, if she isn’t happy, she’ll break up with him.

The chorus that pretty much just moans “Hey Lover” is freaking gross especially as she isn’t LL Cool J or Boyz II Men’s lover just yet.

Then again when it comes to creepy love songs, there is Bryan Adams…

6. “The Only Thing that Looks Good on Me Is You” by Bryan Adams

At this point, Bryan Adams was at the height of his powers, he’d had a number of huge hits in the early part of the nineties (cue “Everything I do (I do it for you)”) and honestly this song isn’t his worst…we’ll get to that…but the reason this song is here is because of the lazy song writing on display where Adams complains he doesn’t look good in designer wear or anything else except for his partner which is all kinds of questionable by the way. All men scrub up well in a suit as a rule, Bryan!

The production is this flimsy sounding guitar which tries for a rock sound and Adams sounding like he is out of breath the entire time or he horny which would make sense because the song sounds like he wrote it with his penis.

So yeah stepping away from the bad and somewhat creepy love songs, we need to deal with what can be simply described as noise.

5. “Boom Boom Boom” by The Outhere Brothers

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I was going to give this slot to “One of Us” by Joan Osborne, a song that has gotten worse with time however “Boom Boom Boom” by The Outhere Brothers is excruciating to listen to in between that synth noise that sounds like a bed squeaking and the thumping distorted noise that passes for melody…geezus christ, just stop already.

Then there are the lyrics which alternate from being painfully repetitive even for an alleged dance song to being about orgasms and having sex of which none of it sounds even vaguely romantic but just rather childish eg “Slip my peter into your folder” and even in one line a vague reference to stealing this girl. Gross.

Thank goodness these brothers disappeared back to where they belonged.

I did say Bryan Adams would another appearance on this list…

4. “Let’s Make a Night to Remember” by Bryan Adams

You know Bryan, you didn’t have try to knock off Bruce Springsteen so hard with this song, it’s genuinely weird how much the songs wants to be akin to Springsteen but fails. There’s something that is just inherently sleazy that makes my skin crawl and honestly makes “The Only thing that Looks Good on Me Is You” even worse.

The whole song feels less like Bryan Adams and more like homage to Bruce Springsteen except I am sure Bruce would have rejected the less than romantic and really rather sluggish and drowsy production around a song about having sex and the references to sweat dripping off this girl. Adams also sings the song with all the enthusiasm of discovering that his favourite shirt has been eaten through by fucking fire ants.

At least, Adams didn’t desecrate one of the greatest soul songs ever like this next group did…

3. “Sexual Healing” by Max-A-Million

It should be a crime do soul legend Marvin Gaye a dirty like this, it really fucking should be, the only positive coming from this crappy garbage is that a small town in America was powered by Marvin Gaye spinning in his grave. Max-a-Million tone back the sexual tension that was in the original to turn the song into something Shaggy would have rejected in 1995! The production isn’t anywhere near close to as sexy as it seems to think it is.

Also the rap verses are pretty terrible and lazy, here’s an example: “And I know me love you know I ain't been creepy creeping. When you spread out yuh legs ah me no get yuh lazy. A rubba dubba I'm ya lover I know you feel me baby”

THAT IS NOT ANYWHERE NEAR CLOSE TO SEXY!. If you want real sexual healing in music seek out Marvin Gaye’s original…it’s far better than this crap will ever be.

Although if you are looking for something sexy, don’t ask this next guy…

2. “Sometimes When We Touch” by Newton

So I have made no bones about the fact that I hate the original version of this song that was released in 1976 by Dan Hill mainly because the lyrics switch between being overwhelmingly sappy to Hill being an absolute piece of shit as he refuses to let this girl move on. Dan Hill himself even admitted back in 2010 to a Canadian website that the song is stupid.

So in 1996 along comes Newton, a dance artist, from the UK who decided to put his spin on the song and yeah makes the song worse. Yeah it’s got the pianos at the beginning but then from about the chorus on it goes into full dance mode which doesn’t match the soppy nature of the lyrics at all and also Newton is not an impressive singer at all and that note at the end sounds like he just got scalded by hot water or had a scare.

Either way kill this cover and the original with fire.

So we have reached the top of the list and for awhile I wasn’t sure what my top pick was going to be, in the end I went with the song that has stuck around and become a lingering shit stain on pop culture, we expose our children to this SHIT and the number one goes to…

1   “Macarena (Bayside Boys Remi x)” by Los Del Rios

Bad dance songs in the 2010s have been commonplace but they never really stick around however in 1996, this song stuck around at the top of the charts for nine whole weeks and yet the issues with this song stretch for miles from the strange gurgling bleating goat noises that once you hear you will not get out of your head  to the horrible giggling teenage girl style lyric delivery in the verse by one of the woman who claims her name is Macarena obnoxiously laughs off the fact she has admitted to cheating on her boyfriend.  

At least the chorus is fun and is literally the only thing worth caring about. FUCK this trash. “Macarena (Bayside Boys Remix)” The worst hit song of 1996, see ya all later.

My Top 10 Worst Hit Songs at halfway point of 2017

2017 to date has been a pretty good year for popular music, songs that were good to great became hits, the songs that were mediocre to awful got what they deserved but some of those god awful songs somehow slipped through the cracks to have a chart run unfortunately. There's only one rule for this list, the song needs to have appeared on the ARIA top 100 at some point in 2017, this list is purely based on my opinion.

Let's get to those songs that have been forgettable rather than outright bad.

Dishonourable Mentions

"Issues" by Julia Michaels | Peak: 5

Largely due to this song just purely being a hit for the hook and the chorus but other than a decent hook and chorus there is really nothing to this song about a relationship hitting crisis point, it just lacks emotional depth and the instrumentation is nothing special.

"Play That Song" by Train |  Peak: 8

Somehow this song wound up as a top ten hit and I have no idea why. The lyrics are god damn AWFUL "Play that song the one that makes me go all night long". What the hell? Music is not designed to be some bizarre form of increasing a woman's sexual performance in the sack.


"Despacito Remix" by Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee featuring Justin Bieber | Peak: 1
It being unnecessary doesn't make this a bad song per se so I couldn't bring myself to put this in the top 10 worst songs of the year so far, the original was going to be a hit around the world regardless and the recent behaviour of Justin Bieber by refusing to learn the words to the song show just how blatantly unnecessary the remix is. I'll take the original ANY DAY over this remix.


"Now or Never" by Halsey | Peak: 16
The lady who thinks she is alternative but continues to write blatantly awful pop songs as "Now or Never" demonstrates. The production and lyrics are sloppy and boring. Halsey attempts to be sexy and she doesn't pull it off at all. This isn't as bad as "New Americana" but geez, Halsey can stop pretending she's an alternative artist cause she is anything but.


Rightio so that's the mediocre at the midway point of 2017, now for the absolute worst of 2017 so far.


10. "I'm The One" by DJ Khaled featuring Justin Bieber, Chance the Rapper, Quavo and Lil Wayne | Peak: 1

So you would think there would be a real swagger in a song about being the one guy for any woman but truth be told none of the artists involved with this song deliver much swagger apart from maybe Chance the Rapper. Bieber's vocals are passable but he really doesn't deliver that passion or that edge that would hook me into a song that supposed to be about being number 1. Lil Wayne steers the song way off course with references to Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown's relationship which was abusive and toxic!. All in all, its just not a good song at all. Saved from being higher up because there's far worse ahead.


9. "Heavy" by Linkin Park and Kiiara | Peak: 33

I was really looking forward to seeing what Linkin Park were going to do and how they would change things up while keep their sound...until they veered way too far in the direction of pop which okay given pop/EDM/dance are kind of the big trends at the moment, maybe it's not the worst move but is "Heavy" really the best result of that new sound from Linkin Park. A bland,somewhat forgettable song that I really haven't been in a hurry to hear again. Ugh.


8. "Everyday" by Ariana Grande feat. Future  | Peak: 96

Yeah, this song makes this list purely for that shit chorus which is basically Ariana repeating "He give it to me" and Future repeating one word "Everyday", there used to be a time when choruses would have some depth or point to them but clearly judging by this, there's no need. There's just nothing to this song lyrically and the production is absolutely TERRIBLE, Ariana's vocals don't save it.


7. "Bad and Boujee" by Lil Uzi Vert feat. Migos. | Peak: 34

This song is why on occasion the ARIA Chart is better than the Billboard Hot 100, this lazy garbage inspired from a meme only peaked at number 34 on the ARIA chart but somehow it got to number 1 on the Hot 100, USA, what were you thinking?. Lil Uzi Vert can't stay on the beat to save himself here and most of Migos contribution is purely shallow bragging. Can we pretend this song NEVER happened?

6. "Mo Bounce" by Iggy Azalea | Peak: 63

Well we can be grateful for small mercies, this song got the short shrift it deserved chart wise, it seems people are sick of the big arse anthems. Any song that has to repeat the title over 100 times is not worth my time to listen to it. Says as much I can't get through the video without laughing. Seriously, Iggy, come back when you have something remotely interesting to say.


5. "Still Got Time" by Zayn feat. PARTYNEXTDOOR | Peak: 20

2017 has so far been the year of Drake and unfortunately the forgettable "I wanna be like Drake club" and at the top of that list is Zayn Malik's effort in teaming up with PARTYNEXTDOOR for this drone called "Still Got Time" which I think is an absolute waste of Zayn's talent as a vocalist, he can do so much better than this mess of a song and probably the fact that he disappointed with this song is the reason it's up so high on this list.


4. "Cold" by Maroon 5 feat. Future | Peak: 27

A sterile song with not a lot to say really, it's more about Adam Levine as a solo artist now than about Maroon 5 as a band but honestly this song lacks any killer punch or any reason for it to stay inside your head so yeah fair to say I am really very cold on this song and I don't see myself warming to it any time soon.



3. "Kissing Strangers" by DNCE feat. Nicki Minaj | Peak 96

The reason this abomination is here is not because of the production which is actually pretty catchy and does get stuck in your head but do we really need a song advocating kissing random people until finding somebody they love. You'd hope DNCE understand that sharing a bond or connection with somebody special is also apart of being in love not just kissing.



2, "Bon Appetit" by Katy Perry feat. Migos. | Peak: 35


This song has got to be one of the stupidest and most ill concieved pop songs to appear on the charts in ages. It basically uses all manner of food double entendres as Katy Perry sings about smelling seduction, "fresh out of the oven" and "spread at the buffet". Really? Food double entendres as a method of singing about sex become boring and stupid back when Justin Timberlake made a song using them and no giving Migos a third of a verse each does nothing to improve the song. That said given the lack of single friendly songs on "Witness", kind of not surprised they released this mess.


"Bon Appetit" is bad but wasn't bad enough to claim number 1, so what could possibly be so bad to top it?


1. "Body like a Back Road" by Sam Hunt | Peak: 48 (It's still climbing the Australian charts too)

This thinly disguised excuse of a 'country' song (it's barely country) sees Sam Hunt claim he has explored his partner's body so much he knows her body as well as he knows a road riddled with cracks, pot holes and generally is in a state of disrepair. WTF? Fair to say if he ever did that to me, he'd be shown the door pretty damn quick.

Everything to be said about how utterly redundant and stupid this song is is in the line "Imma take it slow just as fast as I can"? It makes Pat Monahan from Train look like a lyrical genius and I outlined how bad lyrically "Play that Song" is.

Gah. Please don't let this song stick around. 48 and out of the top 50 next week, Please, Australia?


Anyway, we'll flip over the coin and look my best hit songs of this year so far plus the ARIA top 10 for this week as there have been some big moves on that front.