This is one of those songs that I feel l should care about more than I actually do. Superstar Pride is an American rapper and songwritter who somehow managed to get this song to chart and well, this doesn't leave me much to say, he does have a decent flow even if the lyrics really aren't anything spectacular so more often than not I'll leave this.
"Heaven" by Niall Horan
Waahhhheeeeyyyy, its nice to see Niall Horan back on the chart after the pandemic ruined the release of his excellent sophomore album "Heartbreak Weather" ("Nice to Meet Ya" deserved to be a hit...come on), this time with the lead single of his upcoming third album called "The Show" and I wish I liked this more than I do, the production ia as jarring as hell in the beginning with the "Ahhhhhh" and Niall singing in this weirdly forced sounding country twang, what does save the song is that is has some decent swagger, I don't hate it but I definitely don't love it and honestly considering Niall's past releases as a solo artist...that's disappointing.
"Rhyme Dust" by MK and Dom Dolla
Now for something that is a bit out of my lane here. MK is an American DJ who teamed up with Australian house music producer Dom Dolla for this song which has apparently got quite a few fans because at the behest of those fans, this became a single and...I kind of like this? Yeah, it needs some fleshing out but I like how much energy the song has and that bass groove is doing slome serious heavy lifting. This is worth checking out if you are curious
"Ceilings" by Lizzy McAlpine
I feel like I have been aware of Lizzy McAlpine for awhile or at least long before she had a charting presence thanks to this song going viral on TikTok. "Ceilings" comes from McAlpine's 2022 album "5 Seconds Flat" and look, this is good but its midtier from that album, the sparse acoustic guitar and Lizzy McAlpine reminiscing on a past relationship. The song definitely does hit and is better then a majority of the songs here this month, check it out.
"River" by Miley Cyrus
I am not a fan of Miley's newest album, its sloppily produced and diverts back to bad pop and disco complete with some really poor writing but I will say this song about orgasms or as Miley herself so eloquently calls it "cumming" even if the production is going for a weird nightclub vibe that make the lyrics of the song lyrics feel a little sleazy but hey the hook is at least memorable so I guess it gets a pass. Oh and by the way, Miley, men do not jizz rivers....could be worse....could be Fifth Harmony's "Work From Home" where apparently the guy is such a sex god that he can jizz an entire ocean. Ehh.
"All Of The Girls You Loved Before" by Taylor Swift
Oh, a song off the cutting room floor from "Lover" where you can absolutely tell why it did not make the cut for "Lover", Taylor sounds like she's phoning it in with her flat vocal delivery and the weirdly sparse production...its fine but I am not going to remember this in a month.
"Miracle" by Calvin Harris and Ellie Goulding
It feels like we get at least one Calvin Harris and Ellie Goulding collaboration at least once every couple of years however this might be the best thing they have done together in a awhile or possibly ever. "Miracle" goes closer to 90s trance and closer that decade's big beat dance music and Ellie Goulding sounds at her ethereal best... yeah, the lyrics are a little cliche but when its all about finding a miracle aka love on the dancefloor, hell, I'll take it and I'll take this song!
"You Proof" by Morgan Wallen
I need something Morgan Wallen proof. Seriously this is the first draft of "Last Night" that only sounds good after you've consumed a tonne of alcohol, it just sounds really lethargic and seedy especially when Wallen croons on the hook like he is busting for a trip to the toilet. The guitars sound sludgy and textureless...yeah, more Luke Combs, less Morgan Wallen please.
"Mother" by Meghan Trainor
Oh look, a song from the deluxe edition of that Meghan Trainor album that everyone forgot about and lets make no bones about it...this is utter garbage that not even a sample of "Mr Sandman" by The Chordettes can save it, the title of this nightmare fuel has become queer slang which you know Trainor doesn't get at all and then there' the lyrics where she calls her child a "bum" with all the flair and cadence of fucking Sam Hunt on "Drinkin' Too Much" in 2017. Absolute trash and a contender for the worst song of the year across any genre.
Worst of the Month: Mother by Meghan Trainor (duh)
Dishonourable Mention: You Proof by Morgan Wallen
Honourable Mention: Ceilings by Lizzy McAlpine
Best of the Month: "Miracle" by Calvin Harris and Ellie Goulding
