The Super Short Top Ten Worst Hit songs of 2023

 I have decided to ditch doing a full on worst list for 2023, mostly because we've all moved on, I have no will power to revisit any of these crappy songs and most of the bad songs from 2023 will npt have any kind of staying power apart from a few unfortunate exceptions.

Before we briefly go tip diving, here's a reminder of the rules, a song can qualify for this list if it first appearedon the 2023 ARIA year end or was higher on the 2023 year end than it did on the 2022 year end, also this list is not definitive, it's just my opinion. 

10. "Flowers" by Miley Cyrus (I remember being so excited for this song's release, hearing a song that sounded so bland and cookie cutter and feeling disappointed, Miley, you are better than this, Bring back the "Plastic Hearts" Miley please)

9. "Players" by Coi Leray (Look, Coi Leray has got talent but like Miley, she wastes it on lazy sampling this time using an iconic 80s song from Grandmaster Flash with some pretty terrible lyrics about how girls do the exact same thing as guys,...come on...,it's just lame at this point, Coi)

8. "Green Green Grass"  by George Ezra (What on earth was this? A song aimed for Dulux colour chart ads, Bob Ross or Play School. This was a massive disappointment from George Ezra who I frankly expected better of than this shit).

7. "Popular" by The Weeknd feat. Playboi Carti and Madonna (The music from the Idol pretty much matches the TV show. None of the trio involved with this disaster of a song gives a good performance here, if anything it exposed how overexposed The Weeknd is).

6. "You Proof" by Morgan Wallen (Wow, this song sure sounds like what I would imagine a stomache virus would sound like. Not only is the song sour but Morgan Wallen sounds so fucking insufferably smug on this song that I want to throw things if the song didn't sound so damn lethargic)

5. "Let Go" by Central Cee (When you take a terrible 2013 Passenger song and make it worse and with this dude getting features on other mediocre rappers albums, we might not be rid of him. Just lovely...not)

4. "Daylight" by David Kushner (Okay so Australia wanted Hozier in 2023 but went for a bad rip off instead of anything from that Hozier album last year and now that Hozier is back, we have no need for anymore of these hacky rip offs)

3. "The Color Violet" by Tory Lanez (Well, this is awkward considering Tory Lanez is now serving prison time, Only wish people could get prison time for songs like this one that blow so much ass!)

2. "Rich Flex" by Drake and 21 Savage (Ugh, "Her Loss" is easily Drake's worst album to date and while "Rich Flex" is not the worst song on the album, it is emblematic of the issues with that album in that most of it hides behind misogyny and gunplay. It's pathetic, Drake, you are capable of better.)

The number one worst hit song of 2023:

"Last Night" by Morgan Wallen

This wasn't going to be my number one for awhile...it didn't feel like the hit song I hated the most in 2023 until I realized that "Last Night" is basically the tail end of Luke Bryan's "That's My Kind of Night"...drunken sloppy sex and all is remembered is car tail lights disappearing in the dust while all Wallen can remember is that he and this woman let the liquor talk last night in between the sex and presumable fighting.

What drives the song into the ground though is how utterly miserable this song is on an instrumental basis because this can barely be called country with that down tuned guitar and Wallen's whiny nasal vocals that make the song a completely niserable listening experience.

New Entry Review: March 2024

"Saturn" by SZA 

A brand new SZA single as a lead off to "LANA" and I was looking forward to this mostly because while SZA has never grabbed me with a full album, she does have songs that I adore (my 2023 best list will feature one such song) so how was "Saturn"?

Oh good lord, this is right up there as one of the best songs on the charts right now, I love how the song opens with what sounds like a merimba and SZA just sounds imcredible, The song is just incredibly easy to listen to and go back to. The lyrrics hit on feelings of feeling like everything is terrible and trying to find something better even if that something better requires SZA and her partner to leave and go to that other place so yeah this is fucking great!

?End of Beginning" by Djo

Ahh anorher viral TikTok song gaining traction to wind up on the charts, this song came out in late 2022 and after having heard it, I wish I was as impressed with this song as other people seem to be, the instrumental sounds great, the drums have a nice rbythm but why are the vocals so god damn buried under the instrumentation? It makes the song feel like it is missing a hook so no...this doesn't work for me at all. Next!

"Stumblin' In" by CYRIL

Oh no...just no. Not another one of these type of songs. A producer taking an old song and turning it into unrecognisable junk but quickly just to explain CYRIL is an Australian DJ and producer that got his big breakthrough with this thing and somehow this version of Suzi Quatro and Chris Norman's 1980 hit that at the time had some romantic charm to it but this new version? Nope, there is nothing romantic about this, it just reminds me of the time Kenny G played saxophone over Louis Armstrong's "What a Wonderful World" except Cyril brings in these keysand strings then proceeds tio make Quatro and Norman sound washed out as hell. Skip this!.

"We Can't Be Friends (Wait For Your Love) by Ariana Grande

Okay with "Yes, And?" looking like a dud lead single with every passing day, this is the song from Ariana Grande's new album that appears to have some legs on the charts and is sticking around even if I I would have preferred "Supernatural" to be the song from "Eternal Sunshine" that absolutely smashes the charts as this is pretty middle of the road for Ariana as in its not precisely bad. its just forgettable given its another pop song in the vein of how she can't be friends with this guy given she wants a relationship... it feels a bit dime a dozen, that's all.

"Whatever She Wants" by Bryson Tiller

Kind of surprised that Bryson Tiller of all people turned up on the ARIA singles chart with any kind of momentum especially as I have never really thought of him as being all that interesting in his lane of hip hop but none the less, this song did turn up so what did we get? It's fine...I don't hate it, Bryson Tiller can ride this beat pretty well and he seems all ready to buy whatever this woman wants be it the brand names etc, I just wish it didn't feel like it was more empty flexing to say he can spend all this money so easily but check this out if you are curious

"Austin" by Dasha

So with the onslaught of country on the ARIA top 50 singles chatt these days, it's interesting that we have a relative no name make her debut on the charts although I will admit calling Dasha country is a stretch but just quickly Dasha is from California and her song "Austin" went viral on Tik Tok (makes me wonder what people will do for music discovery when TikTok is banned and that appears to only be a matter of time) so what do I make of this?

Well it's another of those songs that I think is absolutely fine even if I think it feels a bit too cookie cutter for it's own good but Dasha has the vocals to sell this song well even if I do get some of the criticisms. Check it out if you are curious.

"Fri(end)s" by V

So members of BTS are continuing to chart solo jaunts while the band is on a break with several members doing their time in military service in South Korea, V being the one that can pull off a smooth and somewhat funky sound that really actually works, I say all this because I feel like this song goes away from what makes V's sound really work, it sounds kind of rough in a way that doesn't flatter V at all. Bit disappointing if I am going to be honest.

Worst of the Month: "Stumblin In" by Cyril

Dishonourable Mention: "Fri(end)s" by V

Honourable Mention: "Whatever She Wants" by Bryson Tiller

Best of the Month: "Saturn" by SZA

ARIA New Entry Review: February 2024

"Praise Jah in the Moonlight" by YG Marley

Gahh, I have been watching this song blow up around the world and was hoping it wouldn't in Australia but it charted so I guess I will have to talk about it so here we go. YG Marley is an American singer songwriter whose mother is Lauryn Hill of The Fugees and his grandfather is reggae pioneer and legend Bob Marley which is why it pains me to say that I do not like this song at all. 

The vocals just sound messy and YG Marley's vocals do nothing to sell me on the song, it just feels like it is underproduced to a very large degree especially with all the noises around Marley's vocals...yeah, I am avoiding this one.

"Murder On the Dancefloor (Triple J Like a Version)" by Royel Otis

Oh. how to explain this one, Royel Otis are an Australian guitar pop duo from Sydney with thiis being their first appearance on the ARIA singles chart with a cover of the recently viral early 2000s smash "Murder on the Dancefloor" by Sophie Ellis-Bextor and I just love this cover!. It sounds big and somewhat grandiose...it sounds like something I would have heard around 2005 or 2006 during the pop rock explosion that hit the charts than. The instrumrntal gives the song are sense of drama and scale. I dig it, good job Royel Otis.

"Texas Hold 'Em" by Beyoncè

When I heard that Beyonce was shifting toward country, I was cautiously curious, mostly because of the fact I knew that to some degree she likely did have some understanding of the genre given her upbringing but wary because of just how many acts in pop etc that have commodified country for a quick buck given how folk and country have become huge on the charts in recent years...that said Beyonce was raised in Texas and maybe an awareness of the country scene in Texas would be in built within this song.

Well yeah, this song blew me away when I first heard it almost to the point where I thought that maybe I am too easily impressed  with this sort of thing, put simply this song is a hoedown that is made for line dancing with that stomp clap rhythm and Beyonce showing she can still get down and have fun so yeah, this is easily one of the best songs to chart in 2024 and easily better than anything on Renaissance.

"Training Season" by Dua Lipa

Okay so with the album name and release date now set, we've got the follow up single and while its not quite as good as "Houdini", its still pretty, I do think the repetitive nature of the intro will absolutely annoy some people and it does make me hungry for pizza...lol. What stands out here though are the lyrics where Dua Lipa makes it clear that she is done teaching men how to treat her right and that from now on she will expect a man to know how to treat her right from the get go. Good song that just isn't quite great yet.

"Home" by Good Neighbours

So am I the only one who just started singing the Neighbours theme song upon seeing the name of this UK duo? It did make me laugh a bit and it made me feel better in saying that this song is absolute junk. Seriously whats with the strangely tinny vocals and the cold sterile production that doesn't give me the feeling of being home but rather at a hospital or in a prison. Screw this song!

Worst of the Month: "Home" by Good Neighbours

Best of the Month: "Texas Hold 'em" by Beyonce 

 

ARIA Singles New Entry Review: January 2024

"LeaveMeAlone" by Fred Again....& Baby Keem

So we're starting the new chart year with some Fred Again, this time he is teaming up with US rapper Baby Keem and we'll...I am not sure....I like the instrumental here with the piano and that driving bass groove but what stops me from digging the song is the vocal production that makes Baby Keem sound like he is in a blender or something! It's not precisely bad and there is MUCH worse here.

"One of the Girls" by The Weeknd feat. JENNIE and Lily Rose Depp

Can we all just forget that The Idol existed? The show was terrible and frankly, the music from the soundtrack ain't that much better with this being a case in point, the sterile production as The Weeknd croons about breaking a girl's skin and how he lovesit when she's submissive before a hook where Lily Rose Depp sings that there's no need for love...she just wants to be one of The Weeknd's girls....yuck...this is just toxically icky in so many ways....gross... next song please!

"Yes, And?" by Ariana Grande

So after four years, Ariana Grande returns with the lead single from her upcoming new album Eternal Sunshine which features an interpolation of Madonna's 1990 classic "Vogue" and...Rrally, Ariana? If a snap back at the critics is the best you can do for lead single where she cannot convincingly sell any genuine anger or give the production any sense of bite or menace is the best you can do than I am worried for this upcoming album, it's just another gummy dance pop song that coming from Ariana is really disappointing and a waste of a potentially great interpolation.

"Redrum" by 21 Savage

I don't think this is a hot take but I think 21 Savage is better on his own than when he collaborates with Drake etc, give him some good Metro Boomin' production and he can go OFF when he doesn't have to share that space so with this song being from his latest album American Dream I was hoping that we might have a decent song here...and yeah, 21 Savage does sound menacing as all hell with that vocal delivery and that outro just slaps! Ovetall good song...unlike...

"Thinkin' About Me" by Morgan Wallen

Why, of all the fucking Morgan Wallen songs to chart in 2024, did it have to be the absolute worst song that Wallen has ever made? The lyrics are basically that Wallen can't let go of his EX girlfriend to the point where he is wondering whether or not she is thinking about him while she's with a guy that's not him...its just pathetic...made worse by production that sounds so lifeless and downtuned, its a slog of a song to sit through...ughh.

"Beautiful  Things" by Benson Boone

Ugghhh, we're really going to give this dude another hit...come onnn, seriously? This one might be worse given it gives me "Won't Give Up" by Jason Mraz vibes in the lyrics. Cute this ain't...next!

"Feather" by Sabrina Carpenter

Sabrina Carpenter is back and thankfully with a song that is a lot better than "Nonsense" but mostly because it sounds like an at home version of a sound Dua Lipa did better in 2020 on Future Nostalgia! It's not terrible by any stretch of the imagination but it's pretty forgettable.

"Never Lose Me" by Flo Milli

A chart break through, this time it's US R&B act Flo Milli and...I have to be honest here...this feels more like a fragment of a song and not a particularly  interesting or good one especially with that synth line that's not as interesting as Flo Milli's production team think it is.

"Saving Up" by Dom Dolla

Been awhile since we had an Australian hit and we've got it through Dom Dolla. I like this but holy shit, the vocals kind of annoy me,they sound kind of squawky and annoying but given everything else...I'll take it.

"Scared To Start" by Michael Marcagi

My goodness, are the new upcoming male singer/songwriters annoying or what? This song sounds like something Passenger wrote in 2013. I'll rant more about this song at the end of the year.

Worst: "Thinking About Me" by Morgan Wallen

Dishonourable Mention: "Scared To Start" by Michael Marcagi

Honourable Mention: "Saving Up" by Dom Dolla

Best: "Redrum" by 21 Savage