The Super Short Top Ten Worst Hit songs of 2023

 I have decided to ditch doing a full on worst list for 2023, mostly because we've all moved on, I have no will power to revisit any of these crappy songs and most of the bad songs from 2023 will npt have any kind of staying power apart from a few unfortunate exceptions.

Before we briefly go tip diving, here's a reminder of the rules, a song can qualify for this list if it first appearedon the 2023 ARIA year end or was higher on the 2023 year end than it did on the 2022 year end, also this list is not definitive, it's just my opinion. 

10. "Flowers" by Miley Cyrus (I remember being so excited for this song's release, hearing a song that sounded so bland and cookie cutter and feeling disappointed, Miley, you are better than this, Bring back the "Plastic Hearts" Miley please)

9. "Players" by Coi Leray (Look, Coi Leray has got talent but like Miley, she wastes it on lazy sampling this time using an iconic 80s song from Grandmaster Flash with some pretty terrible lyrics about how girls do the exact same thing as guys,...come on...,it's just lame at this point, Coi)

8. "Green Green Grass"  by George Ezra (What on earth was this? A song aimed for Dulux colour chart ads, Bob Ross or Play School. This was a massive disappointment from George Ezra who I frankly expected better of than this shit).

7. "Popular" by The Weeknd feat. Playboi Carti and Madonna (The music from the Idol pretty much matches the TV show. None of the trio involved with this disaster of a song gives a good performance here, if anything it exposed how overexposed The Weeknd is).

6. "You Proof" by Morgan Wallen (Wow, this song sure sounds like what I would imagine a stomache virus would sound like. Not only is the song sour but Morgan Wallen sounds so fucking insufferably smug on this song that I want to throw things if the song didn't sound so damn lethargic)

5. "Let Go" by Central Cee (When you take a terrible 2013 Passenger song and make it worse and with this dude getting features on other mediocre rappers albums, we might not be rid of him. Just lovely...not)

4. "Daylight" by David Kushner (Okay so Australia wanted Hozier in 2023 but went for a bad rip off instead of anything from that Hozier album last year and now that Hozier is back, we have no need for anymore of these hacky rip offs)

3. "The Color Violet" by Tory Lanez (Well, this is awkward considering Tory Lanez is now serving prison time, Only wish people could get prison time for songs like this one that blow so much ass!)

2. "Rich Flex" by Drake and 21 Savage (Ugh, "Her Loss" is easily Drake's worst album to date and while "Rich Flex" is not the worst song on the album, it is emblematic of the issues with that album in that most of it hides behind misogyny and gunplay. It's pathetic, Drake, you are capable of better.)

The number one worst hit song of 2023:

"Last Night" by Morgan Wallen

This wasn't going to be my number one for awhile...it didn't feel like the hit song I hated the most in 2023 until I realized that "Last Night" is basically the tail end of Luke Bryan's "That's My Kind of Night"...drunken sloppy sex and all is remembered is car tail lights disappearing in the dust while all Wallen can remember is that he and this woman let the liquor talk last night in between the sex and presumable fighting.

What drives the song into the ground though is how utterly miserable this song is on an instrumental basis because this can barely be called country with that down tuned guitar and Wallen's whiny nasal vocals that make the song a completely niserable listening experience.

New Entry Review: March 2024

"Saturn" by SZA 

A brand new SZA single as a lead off to "LANA" and I was looking forward to this mostly because while SZA has never grabbed me with a full album, she does have songs that I adore (my 2023 best list will feature one such song) so how was "Saturn"?

Oh good lord, this is right up there as one of the best songs on the charts right now, I love how the song opens with what sounds like a merimba and SZA just sounds imcredible, The song is just incredibly easy to listen to and go back to. The lyrrics hit on feelings of feeling like everything is terrible and trying to find something better even if that something better requires SZA and her partner to leave and go to that other place so yeah this is fucking great!

?End of Beginning" by Djo

Ahh anorher viral TikTok song gaining traction to wind up on the charts, this song came out in late 2022 and after having heard it, I wish I was as impressed with this song as other people seem to be, the instrumental sounds great, the drums have a nice rbythm but why are the vocals so god damn buried under the instrumentation? It makes the song feel like it is missing a hook so no...this doesn't work for me at all. Next!

"Stumblin' In" by CYRIL

Oh no...just no. Not another one of these type of songs. A producer taking an old song and turning it into unrecognisable junk but quickly just to explain CYRIL is an Australian DJ and producer that got his big breakthrough with this thing and somehow this version of Suzi Quatro and Chris Norman's 1980 hit that at the time had some romantic charm to it but this new version? Nope, there is nothing romantic about this, it just reminds me of the time Kenny G played saxophone over Louis Armstrong's "What a Wonderful World" except Cyril brings in these keysand strings then proceeds tio make Quatro and Norman sound washed out as hell. Skip this!.

"We Can't Be Friends (Wait For Your Love) by Ariana Grande

Okay with "Yes, And?" looking like a dud lead single with every passing day, this is the song from Ariana Grande's new album that appears to have some legs on the charts and is sticking around even if I I would have preferred "Supernatural" to be the song from "Eternal Sunshine" that absolutely smashes the charts as this is pretty middle of the road for Ariana as in its not precisely bad. its just forgettable given its another pop song in the vein of how she can't be friends with this guy given she wants a relationship... it feels a bit dime a dozen, that's all.

"Whatever She Wants" by Bryson Tiller

Kind of surprised that Bryson Tiller of all people turned up on the ARIA singles chart with any kind of momentum especially as I have never really thought of him as being all that interesting in his lane of hip hop but none the less, this song did turn up so what did we get? It's fine...I don't hate it, Bryson Tiller can ride this beat pretty well and he seems all ready to buy whatever this woman wants be it the brand names etc, I just wish it didn't feel like it was more empty flexing to say he can spend all this money so easily but check this out if you are curious

"Austin" by Dasha

So with the onslaught of country on the ARIA top 50 singles chatt these days, it's interesting that we have a relative no name make her debut on the charts although I will admit calling Dasha country is a stretch but just quickly Dasha is from California and her song "Austin" went viral on Tik Tok (makes me wonder what people will do for music discovery when TikTok is banned and that appears to only be a matter of time) so what do I make of this?

Well it's another of those songs that I think is absolutely fine even if I think it feels a bit too cookie cutter for it's own good but Dasha has the vocals to sell this song well even if I do get some of the criticisms. Check it out if you are curious.

"Fri(end)s" by V

So members of BTS are continuing to chart solo jaunts while the band is on a break with several members doing their time in military service in South Korea, V being the one that can pull off a smooth and somewhat funky sound that really actually works, I say all this because I feel like this song goes away from what makes V's sound really work, it sounds kind of rough in a way that doesn't flatter V at all. Bit disappointing if I am going to be honest.

Worst of the Month: "Stumblin In" by Cyril

Dishonourable Mention: "Fri(end)s" by V

Honourable Mention: "Whatever She Wants" by Bryson Tiller

Best of the Month: "Saturn" by SZA