Pretty Fly (For 1999): 13th June. Hey Canned Narcotic Boy Heat

So no preamble this week, lets jump straight into the top ten where to my surprise "No Scrubs" by TLC remains at number one but it's absolutely a margins game because right behind it at number two is "Kiss Me" by Sixpence None the Richer, it's definitely in the right spot to make a play for top spot. 

This saw the Backstreet Boys pushed back one spot to number three with "I Want It That Way", the margins were just too big for this song unfortunately. 

Rising one spot to number four is "Livin' La Vida Loca" by Ricky Martin. Not surprising, the hook on this song is an absolute monster, it's living the crazy life in the top ten.

"We Like to Party (The Vengabus)" by The Vengaboys recovered one spot to number six while "Honey to the Bee" by Billie Piper climbed two to number six. 

People appear to have stopped looking at Geri Halliwell because "Look At Me" slipped three slots to number seven.

Then we have The Offspring realizing their call for the lazy bum in their lives to get a job  with "Why Don't You Get A Job" is slowly not being heard down one to number eight.

The ABBA tribute posse cut "Thank ABBA for the Music" from Steps, Tina Cousins, Cleopatra, B*Witched and Billie Piper remains at number nine. Finally we do have an arrival to the top ten with ATB's "9 PM (Til I Come)" rising one slot to number ten.

Losers

Boyzone's "No Matter What" plummeted from twenty nine to forty eight this week and is on the cusp of leaving the top fifty...good. I still cannot stand that song. 

Another former top ten hit taking a giant tumble is "Anthem for the Year 2000" by Silverchair which got dunked from thirty one to forty six. 

Human Nature's "Last to Know" is on it's last legs sliding from thirty five to forty one likewise for "Until the Time is Through" by Five which tumbled ten to forty. "You Don't Know Me" by Armand Van Helden and Duane Harden got cut down seven to thirty two.

"Right Here, Right Now" by Fatboy Slim dipped six to thirty four.

Gains

So biggest gain of the week belongs to "Millennium" by Robbie Williams which climbed from forty one to twenty four this week which kind of surprises me. The song is good but I guess I shouldn't underestimate Robbie Williams fans. 

A good gain for Everlast's "What It's Like" up from thirty three to twenty six while Ilanda's "It's Our Time" rose eight to thirty one. 

Re-Entries

Two returns this week with "Every Me, Every You" by Placebo back at number fotty seven and "Westside" by TQ at number forty two.

New Entries

 Three new entries beginning with...

49. "Narcotic" by Liquido

Starting the week with a German four piece rock band with this being their first song to hit the ARIA singles chart and the band have made no bones about saying they wanted this song to sound very Weezer-esque and yeah it gets there with that chip tune keyboard that probably shouldn't be forming the main melody and the guitars that have plenty of sizzle and a front man who reminds me more of Spandau Ballet rather than Weezer vocally.

This really isn't doing much for me so I think we best be moving on to...

25. "Hey Boy, Hey Girl" by The Chemical Brothers.

Brand new single from British electronic duo The Chemical Brothers with this song sampling "The Rood is on Fire" by Rock Master Scott & The Dynamic Three. I love the production on this with it's menacing trance groove and then building into this absolute stomper of a dance jam that likely sets night club floors alight already since it's release however that goofy shout of "Here we go!" takes me right out of the song, it just sounds hilarious even as the rest of the song sounds great, It's not bad and definitely worth checking out. 

20. "Canned Heat" by Jamiroquai

Ending the week with British funk group Jamiroquai with this song being the lead single for their fourth album "Synkronized" (Yes, spelled that way) and while I don't think this hits as hard as "Cosmic Girl", this is still straight up groovy and feels like an ode to 70s funk  The song is about finding the insatiable inability to not dance thanks to the canned heat substance on shoes. Good song check it out.

Yeah, it's also best of the week. Worst of the week is going to "Narcotic" by Liquido

ARIA Top 50 Singles Chart Review. 8th June. The one where Ariana Hates She Can't Stop "Choosin' Texas" Return

 So this week is pretty quiet which I am grateful for given the impending Olivia Rodrigo album bomb in a few weeks but before all that let's dive into this week's top ten where "Choosin' Texas" by Ella Langley retook the number one spot this week thanks to strength on streaming but it will face a challenge for a fourth week at number one courtesy of Taylor Swift. 

"Choosin' Texas" faced down a challenge from new entry "Hate That I Made You Love Me" by Ariana Grande entering at number two thanks to good streaming even if sales haven't gotten on board yet. 

This left both "Man I Need" by Olivia Dean and "Rein Me In" by Sam Fender which both held their positions at three and four respectively. 

"The Cure" by Olivia Rodrigo slipped off the number one down four to number five, that's mostly because this song lost sales and it's streaming wavered hard. 

"Janice STFU" by Drake slipped back one to number six, frankly the sooner this song is gone from the top ten the better, its an awful awful song.

"Dracula" by Tame Impala slipped back one to number seven while "IloveitIloveitIloveit" by Bella Kay dropped one to number eight, "Ordnary" by Alex Warren continues to refuse to go away even as it's down one to number nine.

Sadly the worst song to hit the top ten in sometime sits at number ten..."Earrings" by Malcolm Todd which jumped two slots this week. Gross gross gross.

Losers

Drake album tracks falling away continue to be the story in our losers beginning with "2 Hard 4 for the Radio" down thirteen to number forty nine, "Run to Atlanta" featuring Future and Molly Santana is running out of the chart like hot a hot curry through intestines, its down twelve to forty seven. "Whisper My Name" slumped sixteen to thirty seven, "Shabang" got dumped nine to thirty six and is probably going to be out with a whimper rather than a shabang either next week or the week after. Finally "National Treasures" slipped seventeen to twenty seven.

Drop Outs

Drake saw both "Plot Twist" and "Dust" leave alongside "APT" by Rose and Bruno Mars for the eightieth time and "Doors" by Noah Kahan. 

Gains

So we did get some nice chunky gains this week beginning with "Bed on Fire" by G Flip which rose fifteen slots to number thirty three while "Noble" by F3mii climbed fourteen to number twenty three. 

Re Entries

Two re entries this week with "Risk It All" by Bruno Mars back at fifty and "Sailor Song" by Gigi Perez making another return at number forty eight.

New Entries

Two new entries this week, starting with...

45. "Orbiter" by Noah Kahan

Okay, instead of making any song from The Great Divide a hit proper, we get a song that was basically added to a deluxe version of the album and you can tell instantly why the song was cut from the original album, its this weird song that sounds like Kahan is playing a guitar with a string broken, it's a distracting noise that really does take away from the song and it's incredibly unflattering...next.

2. "Hate That I Made You Love Me" by Ariana Grande.

Look, I am not going to dive into Ariana Grande's private life, it's none of my business unless it starts creeping into her music and so here we have the lead single for her upcoming 8th album "Petal" and I guess it's not really good sign thar the song feels like a merger of  "7 Rings" and "We Can't Be Friends" (the former made my worst list, the latter I am mostly ambivalent on) with that watery bubbling noise and tinkling keys as Ariana vocally sings about dealing with people idolising her or worse..engaging in parasocial relationships with her which where my frustration with the song is...the lack of actual punch in Ariana's vocals or in the production, something to give note to the frustration of it all. 

But it is good so I'll give it best of the week. Worst of the weeks goes to "Orbiter" by Noah Kahan. Next week, Taylor Swift's song for Toy Story 5. 

Pretty Fly (For 1999). June 6th. Can't Get Enough Scar Tissue to Shimmer.

So we have an interesting week in prospect here especially as it seems the challengers are coming for our number one which of course remains "No Sctubs" by TLC but those sales margins are starting to look shaky against the competition.

Believe it or not, I don't think that competition is coming from "I Want It That Way" by Backstreet Boys which climb ed one slot to number two, it's solid enough on sales but doesn't look to be in a place to challenge for number one.

What may well be in a place to surpass TLC and the Backstreet Boys lies with "Kiss Me" by Sixpence None the Richer which climbed from fourteen to number three this week and has an incredible amount of momentum to make a move for number one next week.

All this leaves "Look At Me" by Geri Halliwell in a weird spot as it remains stalled at number four, it doesn't have the numbers to make a play for number one but it could face challengers for its spot soon if sales don't improve. 

That challenge could be coming from "Livin' La Vida Loca" by Ricky Martin up one to number five although that jump could be because "We Like to Party (The Vengabus)" by Vengaboys just crashed off the chart cliff slumping four slots to number six.

"Why Don't You Get a Job?" by The Offspring slipped two spots to number seven while Billie's "Honey to the Bee" remains steady at number eight.

The 'We Worship ABBA' crew of Steps, Tina Cousins, Cleopatra, B*Witched and BIllie Piper climbed one spot to number nine with "Thank ABBA for the Music". 

Savage Garden round out the top ten with "The Animal Song" down one to number ten but goodness knows with this song. 

Losers.

 So we do have a few big losers down the bottom end of the chart with "Enjoy Yourself" by A+ down six to forty eight while Pandora's "Rise 'n' Shine" isn't shining so much down nine to forty seven. 

"That Don't Impress Me Much" by Shania Twain continues it's graceful descent out of the chart down nine to thirty three. 

If you were wondering where "Baby, One More Time" by Britney Spears is...well it fell ten spots to seventeen this week.

Gains

There's not much to tell in the way of gains outside of our top ten, really, the biggest gain appears to be for "Say It Once" by Ultra up sev en slots to twenty six.

Re-Entries

Our returns are two songs that I mostly like with "Unforgivable Sinner" by Lene Marlin back at fifty and "Shimmer" by Fuel back at forty three. 

New Entries

Three new entries this week beginning with...

49. "Can't Get Enough" by Soulsearcher

So we're starting this week off with an English Studio project that was created by a record producer named Marc Pomeroy that has roots in alternnative. dance and R&B with this song being the lead single and yeah, this is a lot of fun! The vocals are infectious and the production gives the vocals room to breath and swell, it sounds great! Now given this is more of a dance cut, the content really isn't anything more than dancefloor filler about how they can't get enough of this significant other's love. Good song, definitely check this out. 

46. "Shimmer" by Shawn Mullins

Oh here we have the follow up to "Lullaby" and Shawn Mullins isn't doing the talk singing he did on that song here, the vocal performance is definitely better here than it was on "Lullaby" and overall I think this song is actually a step up, there's more to the guitars and drum work here, more of a flourish if that makes sense and the content doesn't feel as creepy as it did on "Lullaby" and the content of the song does work for what it is.

It points out that we try to keep children innocent and then as they grow teach them to hate and given the way the world is right now, it's a sentiment that has only grown more true with time although this sentiment for Mullins seems to be born out of a moment when he was visiting a friend in hospital, got lost and wound up in the maternity ward where he saw a newborn baby with their eyes wide open and was struck by how innocent the baby is. Check out the song if you are curious. 

16. "Scar Tissue" by Red Hot Chili Peppers

The lead single for the album "Californication" and given the Peppers have made some of the best rock music of the 90s I was hoping for more of that stadium rock vibe that RHCP had going at least in the early nineties, I had hope which is why the minute I went into this song and heard the down tuned guitars and Anthony Kiedis droning, the disappointment felt insurmountable...this song is just BORING...sure there's some good harmonies on the hook but god, otherwise this is just a flat song with no punch or life to it at all. Ugh. 

Yeah, it's the worst of the week. Best is going to "Can't Get Enough" by Soulsearcher because hey at least that song has some good groove and energy to it. 

ARIA SIngles Top 50 Chart Review: 1st June The One Where Olivia's The Cure Brings Greatness to The Charts

This week felt...weird...the fall out of the Drake album bomb was always going to be a thing but we also got two new entries, one of which I am very excited to talk about because folks, we might have one of the best songs of the year on or off the charts at hand here but anyway let's jump into the top ten where we have a new number one "The Cure" by Olivia Rodrigo which got to number one purely on some early sales, excellent streaming and a little Youtube. 

However it is a margins game with "Choosin' Texas" by Ella Langley right behind it down one to number two, this song is still doing EXTREMELY well on sales and streaming and is in a good position to retake the number one should "The Cure" wobble. 

Not so much the case for our next two songs with "Man I Need" by Olivia Dean pushed down one to number three and "Rein Me In" by Sam Fender and Olivia Dean which both just do not have the sales or streaming to match the top two. 

Sadly holding steady at number five is "Janice STFU" by Drake, it's holding steady on streaming sadly. more is the pity given the song sucks. 

Rebounding one spot to number six is "Dracula" by Tame Impala while "ILoveItILoveItILoveIt" by Bella Kay also rebounded one to number seven.  The receding of the Drake album bomb meant the return of "Ordinary" by Alex Warremat  number eight...dang it...come on...it's time for this song to free fall.

Rebounding a massive fourteen spots to number nine (I think the new number one had something to do with this) is "Drop Dead" by Olivia Rodrigo. 

Finally the second Drake song to remain in the top ten is "National Treasures" but it is down six slots to number ten.

Losers

All of our big losers were Drake album tracks with "Dust" down thirty three to forty three. "Plot Twist" down twenty three to forty one, "2 Hard 4 THe Radio" lost it's tuning down twenty one to thirty six,, "Shabang" down seventeen to twenty seven and "Whisper My Name" down fifteen to twenty one.

The only non Drake faller was "Hit the Wall" by Gracie Abrams down nine to thirty one.

Drop Outs

The drop outs are mostly Drake album tracks so gone and won't be back are "Make Them Cry", "What Did I Miss?", "Make Them Pay", "B's On the Table" feat. 21 Savage, "Burning Bridges", "Make Them Know" and "Make Them Remember".

However we also saw one big exit with "Birds of a Feather" by Billie Eilish finally leaving the chart to join the On Replay chart.

Gains

Everything that's not Drake rebounded hard this week so I am going to go through the double digit gains only beginning with "Self Aqare" by Temper City which somehow climbed sixteen to twenty five...people really care about that song? Really?

Ravyn Lenae dropped a new single "Handle" on Friday but her big smash "Love Me Not" continues to hang onto the chart up eleven to twenty four.

Sombr's "12 to 12" rebounded ten to twenty, 

Re-Entries

Our returns are where we saw the most activity other than Drake songs losing or dropping out so what filled the slots left?

I am not sure why "Yukon" by Justin Bieber or "APT" by Rose and Bruno Mars are back but they returned at fifty and forty nine respectively. 

"I Just Might" by Bruno Mars is back at forty seven while Taylor Swift's "Opalite" is back at forty six  (Taylor has a new single for the Toy Story 5 soundtrack coming on Friday).

Olivia Dean's excellent "A Couple Minutes" is also making its return at forty four and Sombr's "Undressed" climbed back in at forty.

New Entries

Two new entries this week, we're beginning with...

48. "Bed on Fire" by G Flip

So we finally got a second Australian song to chart in the singles top 50 behind "Dracula" by Tame Impala albeit it's from G Flip's album last year however the reason it's here is because the song was used in a sex scene on Netflix drama "Off Campus" so how is the song?

It's good? Feels very reminiscent of a Florence and the Machine cut except Florence Welch could absolutely go hell for leather on the vocals which is not really in G Flip's wheel house vocally and they do a fine enough  job here with a song all about exploring a prohibited attraction and embracing it anyway despite those around them saying "No, don't think about it, don't go there".

Good but just short of great song, check it out. 

1. "The Cure" by Olivia Rodrigo 

The second single from Olivia Rodrigo's third album "You Seem Pretty Sad for A Girl So In Love" and and I was curious what we would get with this song...well, I am happy to say that we got something that is absolutely without qualification GREAT, there's something so incredibly transcendent about this song and I think it lies in Dan Nigro's production where finally a song is allowed to have a build and this incredibly satisfying cresecendo that's built up with the vocals and the guitar and just the song taking on layers to reach that point where Olivia just yells "I'm unravelled"

The content is just as good with Olivia using the metaphor of love as a drug but only it's not working, the love her lover is giving is not enough to assuage Olivia's own self doubt and negative self talk that could see her push this lover away because she knows that it does matter how good the love is or how much love he gives that it'll never fix the raging insecurities that Olivia has and she needs to put in the work on herself to fix all that. 

"The Cure" is already oen of my favourite songs of 2026 even just outside the charts alone and I am so glad that Australia has given this a week at number one, damn great song and is absolutely worth your time, check this song out!

Pretty Fly (For 1999): 30th May Get Set and Swear to Kiss Me Again

 Let's dive straight into the week because really there isn't that much to talk about before hand, it's a pretty standard week here especially because remaining at number one is "No Sctubs" by TLC, this song has sales on lock at the moment and doesn't look to be under any threat.

That threat is not going to come from "We Like to Party (The Vengabus)" by The Vengaboys which held steady at number two this week but it is coming under pressure from "I Want it That Way" by Backstreet Boys which rose four places to number three. 

Geri Halliwell's "Look At Me" fell one slot to number four and "Why Don't You Get a Job" by The Offspring slipped one to number five.

New into the top ten this week is "Livin' La Vida Loca" by Ricky Martin which jumped five slots to number six and looks good to go even higher in the weeks ahead.

All this saw "Baby One More Time" by Britney Spears fall two places back to number seven, it's on its way out, we're due a second single from Britney in the next few weeks or so. 

Billie Piper's "Honey to the Bee" added no new bees by staying at number eight while Savage Garden's "The Animal Song" stumbled three spots to to number nine.

Finally "Thank Abba for the Music" by Steps, Tina Cousins, Cleopatra, B*Witched and Billie Piper remained at number ten.

Losers

So let's take a gander at what happened outside the top ten. "Put Your Hands Up" by The Black White Brothers is having a put your hands down nine to forty five this week. 

"This Kiss" by Faith Hill is on it's way out down from thirty five to forty one while N*Sync's "Tearin' Up My Heart" is being torn down six to thirty seven. 

:"That Din't Impress Me Much" by Shania Twain also took a sharp fall sliding eleven places to twenty three while Silverchair's "Ana's Song (Open Fire)" unfortunately fell seven places off it's debut to twenty one. 

Gains

Not much in the way of gains this week with ATB continuing to move up with "9 PM (Til I Come)" up nine to being on the cusp of the top ten at number eleven. 

"Right Here, Right Now" by Fatboy Slim did climb from thirty four to twenty eight while 4 The Cause's cover of "Stand by Me" continues to hang around like a bad bacterial infection climbing from forty two to thirty six this week. 

Re-Entries

Three songs re-entered this week with "Westside" by TQ at forty eight, "Every Me, Every You" by Placebo at forty nine and "All Torn Down" by The Living End at fifty.

New Entries

Three new entries this week, beginning with...

47. "Swear It Again" by Westlife

We starting in Ireland this week courtesy of brand new boy band Westlife and their debut single from their self titled debut album. This song did debut at number one in the UK so I was curious as to what this new five piece boy band could deliver and it turns out that this is a modest little piano based pop ballad with a really big hook that works for what it is and not really much more than that. 

The content of the song is actually interesting where the narrator is addressing rumours being put around that he is getting ready to up and leave his girlfriend/wife and is seeking to reassure her that he will stay with her and swear his love over and over again if that is what is takes. It's a cute song but probably not one that I am going to seek out.

39. "Get Set" by Taxiride

Heading back to a local acts and another band debuting on the charts this week, Taxiride are a four piece band that formed in Melbourne with this song from their debut album "Imaginate" so I was curious as to what could have made this song chart and yeah I think I get it because "Get Set" is one of the most vocal harmony infused pop rock songs to date where they are truly one of the best features of this song along with that driving groove and lyrics that are all about creating your own path, go getting and creating own hope for the future. Terrific song, definitely check this one out. 

14. "Kiss Me" by Sixpence None the Richer

Ending of the week with American Christian alt rock courtesy of Sixpence None the Richer and like both Westlife and Taxiride before them this week, "Kiss Me" Sixpence None the Richer's first single to hit the Australian charts. Now thuis is a bit of a breezy pop/rock song with those acoustic guitars and a keyboard playing fairly close to a sound like an accordion or concertina which is kind of impressive to me!. The content dives love song territory where the narrator just wants the person they are with to kiss them for the first time no matter where they are. It's a bit cloying for me but it's not a bad song just one I could get sick of  if it sticks around.

That wraps up the week and I am not going to give out a worst of thr week this week mostly because none of the new songs are that bad however I am going to give best of the week to "Get Set" by Taxirude because that song is absolutely awesome, 

ARIA Singles Top 50 Chart Review: 25th May, The one where the Drakenami hits.

 We got the Drake album bomb for "Iceman" this week and I am grumpier than even a cat at the vet who is about to have a thermometer shoved up it's anal cavity by the vet, anyway let's get into the top ten because it's not Drake at number one, it's Ella Langley at number one for another week with "Choosing Texas", it was a dominant week on sales, streaming and even on Youtube for this song but the challenge might well come next week from Olivia Rodrigo, we'll have to see. 

It held up comfortably over "Man I Need" by Olivia which held firm at number two, I don't see this going back to number one despite it still being decently strong on streaming but the sales have fallen off a cliff. 

"Rein Me In" by Sam Fender and Olivia Dean also held at number three despite it doing better on sales than "Man I Need" but it lost it's advantage on streaming. 

Then we run into a cluster of Drake songs with "National Treasures" at four, "Janice STFU" at five and "Whisper My Name" at six.

The Drake songs pushed "Dracula" by Tame Impala back three spots to number seven and "IloveitIloveitIloveit" by Bella back three to number eight.

Then we have two more Drake songs from "Iceman" to round out the top ten with "Make Them Cry" at number nine and "Dust" at number ten. 

Losers

A good half of the chart lost ground massively so I am going to focus on the songs outside of the top ten that only lost ground in the single figures this week with "Ordinary" by Alex Warren down six to number twelve, "Daisies" by Justin Bieber down nine to sixteen and "So Easy (To Fall in Love)" by Olivia Dean down seven to seventeen. 

"Homewrecker" by Sombr slipped nine to twenty and maybe in a truly bad sign, our least bad loser was "Earrings" by Malcolm Todd down four to twenty one. 

Then there's "Golden" from K-Pop Demon Hunters down nine to thirteen.

Drop Outs

So this week did see two songs have their time on the chart ended permanently and are off to the on replay singles chart, those being "Stargazing" by Myles Smith and "I Had Some Help" by Morgan Wallen.

As for the rest of these, I am going to group these up:

2025 hits that should have left awhiile ago: "Undressed" by Sombr, "Opalite" by Taylor Swift, "Yukon" by Justin Bieber, 

2026 songs that will likely make the year end: "A Couple Minutes" and "Baby Steps" for Olivia Dean, "I Just Might" and "Risk it All" both by Bruno Mars, 

2026 songs that might return (although in a couple of cases I hope they don't): 'The Great Divide" by Noah Kahan, "Pop Dat Thang" by Dababy, "Pinky Up" by Katseye

Finally...the what the fuck were these songs still doing on the chart: "Manchild" by Sabrina Carpenter, "APT" by Rose and Bruno Mars, "Die with a Smile" by Lady Gaga and Bruno Mars and "Sailor Song" by Gigi Perez, 

Gains

There were no gains this week. 

Re-Entries

The one return was for Drake's "What Did I Miss?" at twenty four.

New Entries

So because we do have an album bomb for 'Iceman" I am going to only cover the five songs from the album that make the top ten so outside of that we have "Ran to Atlanta" with Future and Molly Santana (Future is absolutely useless here) at eleven, "Shabang" at thirteen, "2 Hard 4 The Radio" at fifteen, "Plot Twist" at eighteen, "Make Them Pay" at thirty one, "B's on the Table" feat. 21 Savage (Another useless feature), "Burning Bridges" at thirty eight, " Make Them Know" at forty two and "Make Them Remember" at fotty four.

That leaves us with seven new entries to cover but we aren't going to be starting with Drake because we have...

22. "Hit the Wall" by Gracie Abrams

Alright the lead single from Gracie Abrams new album "Daughter from Hell" out in the middle of July and dear god, this is just a bland nothing of a song that just builds and builds but does nothing with that crescendo or anything imaginative with the words 'hit the wall' and Gracie conveys all the emotion of a fucking Psyduck...Next!

14. "Go" by The Chemical Brothers

My last hope for anyting of good quality before we hit the run of Drake songs is a 2015 song from The Chemical Brothers album "Born in the Echoes", it went viral thanks to a chaotic dance scene in Netflix film "Apex" starring Taron Edgerton and Charlize Theron, TikTok users recreated the dance scene and boom, the latest viral older song is born so how is "Go"? Its actually really damn good, the instrumental sticks in your head and I like the vocals havr some bite and menace about them. Check this out if you are curious.

10. "Dust" by Drake

We begin our laborious exploration of the five pack of Drake songs from Iceman with the second song from the album being first up and it's where Drake is focussed on his longevity in the rap game and taking potshots at Kendrick Lamar and Joe Budden although I do think the shots at Kendrick are really kind of lame, has Drake forgotten that "Not Like Us" was THE song of the summer of 2024 that everyone including the women Drake concern trolls and claims if they are from Atlanta they call him Santa were dancing to "Not Like Us"

Yeah, that production and constant beat switches, this song is not going to stick in my memory much, its forgettable at best. Move on.

9. "Make Them Cry" by Drake

So I actually don't ,mind the album opener, Drake sounds intense and actually sounds reflective when talking about his family members and for once the beat switch sounds better infused or mixed into the song for a change although the usual pot shots at Kendrick Lamar included annd a dig at J Cole for running away from the rap beef in 2024 which is weird coming from Drake of al people for some obvious reasons...

6. "Whisper My Name" by Drake

The protruding theme of ICEMAN comes through so much on this song because this is another track where Drake airs out his grievances with people who sided with Kendrick Lamar during the beef and throwing around threats against people who speak his name too loudly or else they might cop a violent revenge and throwing subliminal shots at J Cole over his failure to participate in the beef and bragging about money being spent on those who presumably stood by him during the beef with Kendrick.

He just will not let shit that happened in 2024 die even though the world has moved on from the beef. The other problem with this song is that considering that Drake is laying out the threats of retribution where's the damn menace in the production? Percussion also sounds way too low here. Not good. 

5. "Janice STFU" by Drake

We get to the song that looks like it might be the song from "Iceman" to stick around long term on the charts and again like the other songs that I have already talked about where Drake is getting aggressive and slamming not only his haters but the industry like the industry has actually failed him when it's been the industry that's helped him be as big as he has been through the 2010s into the 2020s even with the Kendrick Lamar beef and the other times he seems to shoot himself in the foot and just maybe clipping the indistry machine that has helped you to the top isn't the way to do it, Drake!

It also wouldn't be a Drake song where he isn't concern trolling women over a skin crawling repulsive beat with gang vocals that sound straight out of the 2010s. I hope this doesn't stick around...it sucks!

4. "National Treasures" by Drake

Sigh. Another song, anorther round of Drake taking potshots at Kendrick Lamar like the beef hasn't been over for awhile however I do like the basketball references and how cleverly they are woven into the bars and I do like production here with the sample blended well for a change until the beat switch up that dives head first into being incredibly irritating That said...Drake bragging about being untouchable in Toronto sure is interesting...

That's our week and worst of the week is a tie between "Janice STFU" by Drake and "Hit the Wall" by Gracie Abrams. As for the best...The Chemical Brothers run away with that one for "Go". Mext week...the second single from Olivia Rodrigo so get ready for that and the fall out of all of this. 

Pretty Fly (For 1999): 23rd May. Sinner Look At Me Shimmer and have the Time Of Our Lives

So I haven't got much time to be wasted here today so let's skip the preamble and get straight into the top ten where for yet another week, it's "No Scrubs" by TLC at number one thanks to its continued strong margins on sales ahead of "We Like to Party (The Vengabus)" by The Vengaboys at number two.

However we do have a new entry at number three with the debut solo single from former Spice Girl Geri Halliwell called "Look at Me", I'll talk more about the song later, it's here probably mostly due to Spice Girls fans and curiosity factor.

It did help push "Why Don't You Get A Job" by The Offspring back to number four, this song has peaked and should be on the way out soon. 

Former number one "Baby, One More Time" by Britney Spears remained steady at number five, I expect this song's exit to be slow, graceful and steady.

Slipping two spots to number four is "The Animal Song" by Savage Garden while "I Want It That Way" by The Backstreet Boys slipped one off it's debut to number seven.

"Honey to The Bee" by Billie Piper climbed two slots to number eight thanks to some good sales while Monifah's vice like grip on number seven finally crumbled and it fell two to number nine 

The tribute to ABBA by Steps, Tina Cousins, Billie Piper, B*Witched and Cleopatra "Thank ABBA for the Music" jumped into the top ten up one spot to number ten. 

Losers

The big losses are plentiful this week with "Lullaby" by Shawn Mullins bidding adieu to his time on the chart down fourteen to fifty. "Girlfriend/Boyfriend" by Blackstreet slipped twelve to forty nine. 

I am perfectly fine with "Stay the Same" by Joey McIntyre sliding seven to forty seven..the song still sucks, even better is the horrendous cover of "Stand by Me" by 4 the Cause down from twenty eight to forty two. 

Sadly, "Save Tonight" by Eagle Eye Cherry fell ten placs to forty wich is a shame because that song is really good. "Enjoy Yourself" by A+ skidded down from thirty two to thirty nine. 

"This Kiss" by Faith Hill is getting a little cold down eight to thirty five while the public finally appear to be done with "No Matter What" by Boyzone as that collapsed out of the top ten to number twenty three. 

 In the anathema of bad songs taking losses this week joins Dru Hill with "How Deep is Your Love" down from thirteen to twenty one this week...thank goodness!

Gains

So we did have two decent gains this week with the most notable being the rise of "9pm (Til I Come)" by ATB moving up eleven to break into the top twenty at twenty snd Ilanda's "It's Our Time" found a second wind this week up from forty nine to thirty while

of someon

New Entries

Five new entries this week beginning with...

48. "Unforgivable Sinner"  by Lene Marlin

A Norweigan singer-songwriter begins our reviews this week with this being Lene Marlin's first song to hit the ARIA singles chart and I am stunned its even here at all because this song is a harrowing one that centres on the overriding shame and guilt that comrs from causing the death someone close along with the responsibility and regret that they have been saddled with for the rest of their lives and longing for forgiveness that may not ever come...all this is juxtaposed with production that is more acoustic but weirdly upbeat given the sombr and deeply unsettling nature of the content of the song. I like it, hope it sticks around.

45 "Shimmer"  by Fuel

Fuel is another first time entrant to the ARIA singles chart with this song being from the 1998 album "Sunburn" and again this is another song that really dives into emotional turmoil with the production to match this time...this song songs dark from the guitars that don't ever really hit the point of shredding but do their job and drums that keep a steady rhythm as the content dives into the narrator's ideal "perfect" relationship only to realize that that ideal relationship is just a long held illusion that will shimmer and fade away leaving him with nothing but the painful reality that this relationship he is in is nowhere near perfect and in fact he is watching something that was beautiful die in real time.. In short it's another pretty damn good song, check it out. 

32. "Time of Our Lives" by Marcia Hines

First of two Australian new entries this week and a nice change up from the dark subject matter we've been dealing with courtesy of Australian music legend Marcia Hines who brings some good old pop soul and she can sell this in her sleep with those vocals and the production is just bouncy and honestly just radiates the joy of meeting the guy she is done with being friends and wanting to be something more and them reciprocating. Fun song that is definitely a mood lifter. 

14. "Ana's Song (Open Fire)" by Silverchair

Trigger Warning: Discussions of mental health and eating disorders.

Second of the Australian new entries and the second single from Neon Ballroom for Silverchair and wow...this is one hits a real nerve because it's all about Daniel Johns battle with anorexia  which came about as a result of depression and anxiety with the lyrics a pretty confronting image of just how anorexia hit Johns with him admitting he'd eat enough to "stay awake", Ana being the shorthand for anorexia. This just in the content hits hard but it's Daniel himself whose vocal delivery is just raw and devastating, it cuts you to ribbons inside. The drums and guitars all go off and this song just punches so god damn hard, it's worth a listen. 

3. "Look at Me" by Geri Halliwell

So Geri Halliwell has left the Spice Girls and the realm of girl power for a solo career with this being her debut solo single, I will say she was not the strongest vocalist in the group but she does possess a lot of charisma and personality which does help to some degree, I say this because "Look At Me" is not really that good, the song plays for musical theatre that I guess kind of suits Geri to an extent given how her vocals have been produced here however the lyrics and content of the song strike me as odd, she pokes fun at being famous courtesy of being in one of the biggest pop groups of the 90s but she's still famous regardless?

This just doesn't hit in the way that I think those in the Geri Halliwell camp would have been hoping for. Curiosity got this song as high as this...I don't see it sticking around.

It's worst of the week. As for the best...ahh...that's going to "Ana's Song (Open Fire)" by Silverchair but man it was close. 

ARIA Singles Top 50 Chart Review: 18th May. The one where the new number one is not by an artist named Olivia

 There's no point to me even posting this this week...seriously...there's none...none of this is relevant when we're in the impending death spiral of a triple Drake album bomb (which based on what I am seeing numbers wise, we might get eight or nine cuts from "Iceman" and nothing from "Maid of Honour" or "Habibti"...anyway, that's all next week becausxe it's a bit disrespectful of the fact that we do have a new number one this week whose name is not Olivia with "Choosin' Texas" by Ella Langley now at the top thanks to margins on sales and streaming that fell this song's way.

 Now this feels historic as "Choosin' Texas" becomes the first country song since the ten minute version of "All Too Well" by Taylor Swift in 2021 but it's probably the first neo traditional country song since Slim Dusty's "Duncan" in 1981 to take the top spot on the Australian all genre singles top 50 chart and says a lot that the appetite for a good country song if it's quality can still do big things on the charts. 

All of this saw "Man I Need" by Olivia Dean and "Rein Me In" by Sam Fender and Olivia Dean both slide back one spot to numbers two and three respectively. The former having gains on streaming but it lost hard on sales while the latter is steady on both if not losing on streaming to the former. 

Rebounding one slot is "Dracula" by Tame Impala because we aren't that lucky to be done with this song yet...ugh, it did move past "ILoveitILoveILoveit" by Bella Kay which slipped one spot to number five.

Rising three slots to number six is "Ordinary" by Alex Warren because this song refuses to die much like Chris Brown's career, it pushed "Daisies" by Justin Bieber back one to number seven while Bieber's "Beauty and a Beat" with Nicki Minaj holding steady at number eight.

Down two to number nine is "drop dead" by Olivia Rodrigo, this song will get a bounce with the release of "The Cure" tomorrow and the new album that is being released on June 12th. 

Finally holding station at number ten is "So Easy (To Fall in Love)" by Olivia Dean. 

Losers.

"The Great Divide" by Noah Kahan fell eight places to number thirty seven and "Yukon" by Justin Bieber slipped six to number thirty three.

Drop Outs.

In news that doesn't shock me, the drop outs this week are Noah Kahan album tracks like "Dashboard", "End of August", "American Cars", "Willing and Able" and "Staying Still" alongside single "Porchlight"

Also gone is "I Can't Love You Anymore" by Ella Langley and Morgan Wallen which was a pretty forgettable song in the first place but also not helped by some of the social media chatter about the song. 

Gains

Alright...enough of this shit, why is "Earrings" by Malcolm Todd up seven places to seventeen? You guys realize he is the diet version of what you all think Sombr sounds like, right and he doesn't even do Sombr's sound all that well to begin with? Blergh.

The gains don't really get much better from there because "Self Aware" by Temper city is up six to twenty seven and "Freakin' Out" by Dexter and the Moon Rocks is up ten to thirty. 

Sombr's "Undressed" is the relief bringer this week up six to thirty one while "Noble" by F3mii scored an eight place boost to thirty nine. 

Re-Entries

So with all the  Noah Kahan drop outs, we got a flood of old songs back at the tail end of the chart so let's begin at fifty with "Die With A Smile"  by Lady Gaga and Bruno Mars. 

At forty nine, it's "Sailor Song" by Gigi Perez. "That's So True" by Gracie Abrams slides back in at forty eight, 

"APT" by Rose and Bruno Mars gets another ride of the chart rodeo at forty seven.

For some inexplicable reason people are clinging to "Pop Dat Thang" by DaBaby so that's back at forty six. 

"Stargazing" by Myles Smith navel gazes at his impendng re exit from the chart next week at forty five.

Finally "Baby Steps" by Olivia Dean toddler walks back onto the chart at forty four. 

No new entries this week so that winds up our week. Next week could be absolute hell given it's Drake album bomb and that new Gracie Abrams song arriving.

Pretty Fly (For 1999). 16th May. I Want to Run Dizzy That Way.

 So a pretty bog standard week here although it appears the top three has calmed somewhat so lets dive into the top ten where for yet another week, it's "No Scrubs" by TLC at the top as they held a nice lead on sales over "We Like to Party (The Vengabus)" by The Vengaboys at number two and "Why Don't You Get A Job" by The Offspring at number three.

From there, the bizarre run of "The Animal Song" by Savage Garden continues as it is up one to number four in a swap with " Baby One More time" by Britney Spears which fell back one to number five.

There's a new entry at number six courtesy of the Backstreet Boys with "I Want It That Way". More on this song in the new entries but you'd expect it'd be strong on sales given the current state of boy bands on the charts right now. 

"Touch It" by Monifah continues to cling to number serven for another week like a semi naked stripper dancing for their life.

Slipping two slots to number eight is "That Don't Impress Me Much" by Shania Twaiin while somehow back in the top ten is Boyzone's "No Matter What" because apparently Australia still love sloppy boybanad ballads...ugh.

Hanging in at number ten for another week is "Honey to the bee" by Billie Piper

Losers

"It's Our Time" by Ilanda dropped from forty one to forty nine proving that it's not their time to rise on the singles chart yet. 

"Put Your Hands Up" by The Black and White Brothers slipped eight places to forty two while "Lullaby" by Shawn Mullins is being lulled to move off the chart down eight to thirty eight. 

"This Kiss" by Faith Hill slumped eight to twenty seven...thankfully...it'll make the year end though while "Anthem For the Year 2000" by Silverchair dived from fiften to twenty two. 

New Radicals "Get What You Give" slump seven to twenty, bit annoyed about that fall if I am going to blunt...it's a great song and deserves top ten already.

The time is up for Five in the top ten as "Until the Time is Through" fell eight slots to seventeen while "Fly Away" by Lenny Kravitz slipped from nine to fifteen. 

Gains

So we do have some gains to go through, the biggest one being "Livin' La Vida Loca" by Ricky Martin rising from twenty five to twelve this week, it's flying toward the top ten.

Sadly, I am that thrilled with the sudden seven place rise for "How Deep is Your Love" by Dru Hill to thirteen. 

I am much happier with "9pm (Til I Come)" by atb up from thirty one to thirty eight while "Say It Once" by Ultra got a nice gain from forty seven to thirty three. 

Re-Entries

Just the one return this wee with "Lucky Me" by Bachelor Girl back at number forty three.

New Entries

Three new entries this week, let's start with...

50. "Dizzy" by The Goo Goo Dolls

So this is the latest single from "Dizzy Up the Girl" and given how much I loved both "Iris' and "Slide", maybe this one would also be good to great? Sadly no, and I think that comes back to the weird production around John Rzenik's vocals that make him sound rather thin and like there's no punch to what he is singing and that's a shame because the production here is not bad, the guitars are sharp and even though I wish the drums hit harder, they are okay. I think I'll pass on this song. 

48. "Run" by Collective Soul

So the latest single from Collective Soul and this might be one of this band's best, a song that ponders if life thats spinning on it's same axis ever truly gets better than what he is experiencing because right now he is bored with where life is taking him and now he just wants to run to see if he can find something in his life that might make that axis that his life ight now spin just a little differently.

This song hits like a damn freight train for me, I am not going to get into a lot of it for privacy reasons but yeah, I can relate to that feeling of life being on a loop and when those harmonies on the hook kick in...yeah...I'm crying ...might be best to move on but this is a damn great song and well worth your time. 

6. "I Want It That Way" by Backstreet Boys

The lead single from Backstreet Boys album "Millennium" and yeah, this probably one of the better boyband songs of the year given the gentle guitar opening and the boys sounding fantastic in the mix especially over that guitar that opens the song and then that drum beat that helps build into one of the more nonsensical choruses of the 1990s! Seriously, if you can make sense of that mangled chorus than you are doing better than me, at best I can decipher about that this song is about a long distance relationship that is slowly falling apart and he doesn't want that to happen because he is still in love with her. 

Also I love the harmoies on that final bridge, it's a nice touch for one of the most not straightforward boyband pop songs in awhile. 

It's not best of the week because that's going to Collective Soul for "Run"...that song hit a nerve with me. Worst of the week is going to "Dizzy" by The Goo Goo Dolls.. not really that bad but it's disappointing given how great "Slide" was. 

ARIA Top 50 Singles Chart Review: 11th May. The one where the man Olivia needs retakes number one

 So this week is pretty busy week by 2026 chart standards so let's dive straight into the top ten where we have a familiar song back at number one for a twenty first week, "Man I Need" by Olivia Dean, it's back at the top thanks a decent margin on streaming.

All of that pushed "Rein Me In" by Sam Fender and Olivia Dean back to number two, it's starting to come under pressure from 'Choosin' Texas" by Ella Langley which remains at number three, this song is quietly gathering momentum for a challenge for number one which will be interesting to see.. 

Bella Kay's "IloveitIloveitIloveit" rebounded two slots to number four, "Dracula" by Tame Impala at number five. 

Justin BIeber's "Daisies" fell back one to number six as did "Drop Dead" by Olivia Rodrigo to number seven. 

Justin Bieber's "Beauty and a Beat" with Nicki Minaj held steady at number eigiht as did "Ordinary" by Alex Warren at number nine and " So Easy (To Fall in Love" by Olivia Dean at number ten.

Losers

Let's blow through all the big Noah Kahan album bomb losses this week starting with "American Cars" which wrecked fourteen slots to forty  five, "End of August" down fourteen to forty four, "Porch Light" down twelve to thiry nine, "Dashboard" wiped nine spots to thirty eight, "The Great Divide" down nine to twenty nine and finally "Doors" downh seven to twenty three. 

Drop Outs.

So we do have five drop outs this week with four of those being Noah Kahan album tracks, those being "Downfall", "Haircut", "Paid Time Off" and "Deny Deny Deny". 

The only other drop out was the conpletely forgettable "Speed Demon" by Justin Bieber.

Gains

So there is one small gain that I am really pissed about this week that being 'Earrings" by Malcolm Todd which climbed four spots to twenty four.

"American Girls" by Harry Styles rebounded eight slots to twenty five...seriously, I don't know how people can listen to the bass thuds on that song and not think of flatulence...but anyway...

One of the biggest gains of the week is "Boston" by Stella Lefty rose twenty two slots to twenty six while "Be Her" by Ella Langley climbed ten to thirty.

"Midnight Sun" by Zara Larsson jumped eleven to thirty two,

Re-Entries

Just the one new entry with "Freakin' Out" by Dester and the Moon Rocks back at number forty. 

New Entries

Four new entries this week, beginning with...

49, "Staying Still" by Noah Kahan

So I thought we'd get more songs from the expanded edition of that new Noah Kahan album with this song being one of the songs added to the album and you can kind of tell that this song was added to boost streaming because while this is fine, it's not at the same level as the title track, "Doors", Dashboard" or "Haircut", its a song where Kahan doesn't want this person to live and is hoping an unlikely tornado hits the airport to prevent this person from leaving.  It's got some nice sounding guitar and is a bit more stripped back but this feels somewhat forgettable than anything else, it's fine btu but I am not going to come back to it compared to the great songs on the album proper. 

48. 'I Can't Love You Anymore" by Ella Langley and Morgan Wallen

So I had mixed feelings going into this song mostly that I am nnot a fan of Morgan Wallen at all (as my worst list of 2023 and 2024 showed) and honestly while I actually think the production is pretty good and that Wallen sounds less nasal than he does on his own songs, I cannot get the idea out of my head that this song is a potato in a song form, seriously, there are songs that talk about falling out of love with somebody and doing complete with emotion and actual connection to the subject matter of the song giving it flavour and meaning which doesn't happen here, this is just bland and somewhat forgettable when you realize the potatos with salt and pepper or a bit of butter on them are waiting for you. 

47. "Noble" by F3miii

So the first of our debutants on the char  athis week is a Nigerian-Irish rapper and producer who released this song on Boxing Day 2025 with this song going viral and I have to say I kind of like it" Mostly because the production has this cool, sultry vibe with that knock of the percussion as well, I wish F3miii had more of a presence behind the microphone but I do like how the song ramps into the hook for a more 2000s r'n'b sound, as for the content, it's all about this girl who has style, class and substance and he is hoping that she doesn't change for anyone because she's fine just the way she is an he feels lucky to even know her. I dig it, it's cute.

33. "Self Aware" by Temper City.

So apparently indie rock is magically back in a big way with this song coming from Temper City, a  band hailing from Israel, this song managed to go viral and chart somehow howeverI hate saying this but this song is just completely forgettable in every single wway that actually matters. The lyrics are just cliches that spill over like a broken damn complete with the horrible production and the squawking and pretentious frontman who claims he is so self aware that this relationship isn't working to the point it's insufferable...I'm going to skip this. 

Yeah, "Self Aware" is getting worst of the week here mostly due to the fact I find the song to be rather flaccid. I cannot believe I am doing this but best of the week is going to F3miii for "Noble" because that production hits and the sentiment of the song is absolutely adorable. 

Next week...it could be pretty quiet, we'll have to see. 

Pretty Fly (For 1999). 9th May. Every You Stay Livin' La Vida Loca on the Westside

We have a bit of a wild week at hand here where remarkably our top ten feels the calmest it has been in awhile so let's jump right into that where for a second week "No Scrubs" by TLC remains at number one. It's got a comfortable margin ahead of "We Like to Party (The Vengabus" by The Vengaboys which moved up one to number two this week given some renewed strength,

It pushed past "Why Don't You Get A Job" by The Offspring down one two number three. From there we have four songs remaining in their position from last week, those being "Baby, One More Time" by Britney Spears at number four "The Animal Song" by Savage Garden at number five, "That Don't Impress Me Much" by Shania Twain at number six and "Touch It by Monifah at number seven (I think "Touch It" is pretty much done, it's stalling out and will be on the downswing soon), 

"Until the Time is Through" by Five jumped one spot to number eight..glad to see this doing well, it got the better of "Fly Away" by Lenny Kravitz down one to number nine.

Finally we have a newer song into the top ten courtesy of "Honey to the Bee" by Billie Piper which climbed ten spots to number ten...I'm mostly okay with this for now. 

Losers

Jennifer Love Hewitt's "How Do I Deal?" is heading rapidly toward an exit from the top fifty down twelve to forty eight, "Praise You" by Fatboy Slim continues to underperform as it slipped six to forty. 

Blackstreet's underwhelming "Girlfriend/Boyfriend" with Janet Jackson broke up hardcore diving from sixten to thirty three. 

"Smile 'N' Shine" by Pandora is frowning and starting to hide as it slipped nine slots to thirty one., it's a similar case for "You Don't Know Me" by Armand Van Helden and Duane Harden down nine to twenty four and Brandy's "Have You Ever' down eight to twenry two.

"This Kiss" by Faith Hill felt the kiss of the downswing by the Australian public so it crumbled from eleven to nineteen.

Gains

I am not exactly wild with excitement about our gains this week even though we did see New Radicals finally get a good ten place push thirteen, I'll mostly tolerate the "Thank ABBA for the Music" by Steps, Tina Cousins. B*Witched, Cleopatra and Billie up ten to sixteen and also the six place gain to eighteen for "Protect Your Mind (Braveheart" by DJ Sakin and Friends 

The rest though...yeesh..."Put Your Hands Up" by The Black and White Brothers climbed eight to thirty four because somehow that sound is attractive and the less good Fatboy Slim song "Right Here, Right Now" got a nine place boost to thirty seven,,,blergh,

New Entries

Six new entries this week beginning with...

50. "Westside" by TQ

So ws begin our week with the debut single from Terence Quailes who performs under the name of TQ, he is an R'n"B singer from out of the USA and he does desdicate this song to deceased rappers Tupac Shakur and Eazy-E and hails rappers from his native California and a love letter to the culture of California (which might feel weird to some in 2026) but I do like this, it's got a lot of easy charm and the song does sound well produced with the guitar and piano. I just wish we heard more personality from TQ himself here. Good song but I want to hear more. 

47. "Say It Once" by Ultra

So here have the second single and follow to debut single "Say You Do" from British pop group Ultra, it turns out that this song "Say It Once" is a choppy but pretty catchy breezy pop love song that's kind of charming in how god damn basic it is especially in the lyrics department where he wants this girl to quit being quiet and express her love for him that night because tomorrow is likely going to be too late, in other words he wants her to confirm she loves him before he decides to move on from her the next day and honestly that sentiment can feel a bit pushy to me. Good song though. 

46. "Every You Every Me" by Placebo

Now we dive headfirst into something that might look like a dysfunctional relationship courtesy of this song by UK band Placebo, this is just some solid indie rock with the vocals reminiscent of Billy Corgan of the Smashing Pumpkins, I do like the melody that's provided by the guitars even if does feel a bit like it's chugging. The content of the song is pretty good here, a toxic relationship where it's clear that what is going on between the pair of them is destructive, toxic and will do incredible amounts of harm to both emotionally and mentally., there's a break up in the works here but the song never gets that far. It's decent but I am not sure it sticks in the head. 

44/ "Awful" by Hole

The latest single from Hole's album "Celebrity Skin" which dives deep into the commodification of fame and how modern media is corrupting the hearts and minds of teenage girls around the world which is quite dark lyrically and the lyrics do have a good standpoint however the vocal production on this song is absolute crap, Courtney Love's vocals are buried behind the guitar and drums which drives me absolutely insane, it doesn't sound good and makes me question if the mic in the studio was working when they recorded the song. 

43. "Stay The Same" by Joey McIntyre

Debut solo single from former member of New Kids on the Block Joey McIntyre and dear god, this is the epitome of bland mush where he doesn't want this girl to change or be anyone else, he just wants her to stay the same like tastes and ideals don't change as someone evolves and grows into their own identity, there's just something very icky and cloying about this song that is just incredibly offputing for me so yeah I'd probably move on from this as quickly as I can. 

25. "Livin' La Vida Loca" by Ricky Martin

Considering the insane 1998 Ricky Martin had, I am surprised it took him this long to follow up "Maria" but it's here now and damn this is just one hell of a great Latin pop song! Ricky Martin's charisma could sell communal pooping positively! Throw in the insanely good sounding horns and lyrics all about hiw crazy this girl is and how she's living the crazy life and wants him to join in...I'm fairly certain that if I didn't have hang ups about public nakedness that I would want to take my clothes off and go dancing in the rain with Ricky and this girl. Great song!

It's the best of the week here too. Not going to ignore a god damn geeat pop song. Worst of the week goes to whatever "Stay the Same" by Joey McIntyre is. 

ARIA Singles Top 50 Chart Review: 4th May. The one with a whole lot of Noah's Great Divide

 Before we start this week...MAY THE FOURTH BE WITH YOU...now that that is out of the way lets dive into the week here because we did get an album bomb for "The Great Divide" by Noah Kahan however none of that affects the top ten where for a third week "Rein Me In" by Sam Fender and Olivia Dean returned to number one thanks mostly to sales.

"Man I Need" by Olivia Dean remains at number two as it lost a lot on its sales while streaming is still surprisingly holding up pretty well. 

The biggest gain in the top ten this week belonged to "Choosin' Texas" by Ella Langley which is gaining ground on both sales, streaming and surprisingly Youtube. 

Olivia Rodrigo's "drop dead" fell off the nunmber one three spots to number four thanks to major fall offs on both streaming and sales. 

"Daisies" by Justin Bieber slipped back one spot to number five because the Coachella discussion is dying off while "IloveitIloveitIloveit" by Bella Kay held firm at number six, the same going for "Dracula" by Tame Impala stalling at number seven.

"Beauty and A Beat" by Justin Bieber and Nicki Minaj tumbled three slots to number eight. while "Ordinary" by Alex Warren and "So Easy (To Fall In Love" by Olivia Dean remained where they are at nine and ten respectively.

Losers

Oh dear god, we have a mess of a week here but let's run through some of these double digit losers here (Only doing the double digit losers so to stop this from running too long). "Speed Demon" by Justin Bieber slowed down eleven places to fifty. 

"Risk it All" by Bruno Mars slumped fourteen to forty seven while  the public said pinky down to Katseye's "Pinky Up" so that fell a merciful seventeen slots to forty two. 

Drop Outs

As for the drop nuts, let's start with the established hits that should have exited months ago like "Die with a Smile" by Lady Gaga and Bruno Mars, "Vitory Lap" by Fred Again, Skepta and PlaqueBoyMax, "Sailor Song" by Gigi Perez and "Just Keep Watching" by Tate McRae.

Songs released this year that were on the way out anyway like "Swim" by BTS, 

Songs that got their momentum curtailed and I am not unhappy about it "Pop Dat Thing" by Dababy, "Freakin' Out" by Dexter & The Moon Rocks, "Be By You" by Luke Combs and "Die on this Hill" by Sienna Spiro. 

The rest including "House Tour" by Sabrina Carpenter and "Baby Steps" by Olivia Dean.

Gains and Re-Entries

I am combining the two this week because both are to do with Noah Kahan with the one big gain being "Porch Light" by Noah Kahan rising nineteen to twenty seven while "The Great Divide" by Noah Kahan returned at number twenty. 

New Entries

 So we have ten new entries this week but because nine of those come from Noah Kahan, I am going to limit myself to reviewing what made the top twenty and the best and worst in his case so "Deny Deny  Deny" at forty nine (desperately close to the best of the week), "Paid Time Off" at forty five, "Haircut" at number forty four (another great song), "Willing and Able" at number forty one, "Downfall"at number thirty four, "American Cars" parked at number thirty one and "Dashboard" at twenty nine. 

All that leaves us with three other new entries to talk about just we're not starting with Noah Kahan though...

46. "Boston" by Stella Lefty

Yeah before we get to the Noah Kahan, we have to deal with this song from an m, terican indie country singer songwriter Stella Lefkofsky who goes by the name Stella Lefty, she signed to country and Americana Atlantic Record imprint Atlantic Outpost and  is the daughter of the owner and founder of health technology conpany Tempus AI, Eric Lefkofsky which may well be the only memorable thing about Stella Lefty because this song is pretty darn well forgettable.

The problem here isn't really rhe content where its all about falling head over heels in love when you are desperately trying to stay single for the time being but I am not loving Stella Lefty's vocal delivery here which can come off as pitchy and really somewhat unpleasant to listen to, throw in the bland nothing of a melody and it just is not worth coming back to at all...NEXT!

30. "End of August" by Noah Kahan

"The Great Divide" is actually a really good but not quite great Noah Kahan album, it's an album that can absolutely feel it's run time at points however I absolutely adore this opening track where Noah Kahan explores nihilism and season depression as the seasons change and he can feel time slipping away as he anticipates the summer ending and the weather getting closer and that's met by the production as well with its gentle pianos and strings that give the song this lived in vibe. I will say I am not a massive fan of the filter over Kahan's voice but otherwise this might well be one of my favourite songs to chart to datre. Check this out.

16. "Doors" by Noah Kahan

Ending the week with the song getting the singe push from the album and yeah, I get why because this is actually not bad either, ot's a step away from stomp clap territory and closer to an indie rock sound that I actually appreciate a fair bit. The subject matter of the song is also pretty good too with Kahan exploring trauma sustained during childhood, the feeling of wanting to be loved but pushing that love away when somebody tries to give him the love he yearns for so badly. All up a pretty good song.

That completes the week and yeah, "Boston" by Stella Ledty is getting the worst of the week with "End of August" by Noah Kahan getting the best of the week. 

Next week should be pretty quiet but  we'll have to see. 

Pretty Fly (For 1999): 2nd May. Blame It on Millennium Bleeding Love Here Right Now, Lucky Me!

So we have quite the week in front of us with most of all of the new entries in the bottom half of the top fifty and the usual array of movement that we may as well get started straight away with the top ten where we have a new number one that being "No Scrubs" by TLC which moved up three slots to take the top spot, it's sales are excellent and I can see this being a stable number one for the time being. 

It held off "Why Don't You Get a Job?" by The Offspring at number two and "We Like to Party (The Vengabus)" by The Vengaboys at number three, both songs just couldn't go with "No Scrubs". 

Former number one "Baby, One More Time" by Britney Spears slipped back to number four with the bottom having fallen out of sales at this point, to the point it's going to come under pressure from the constantly yo yoing "The Animal Song" by Savage Garden which yo yoed back up one to number five, it was rnough to move past "That Don't Impress Me Much" by Shania Twain which slipped one to number six.

"Touch It" by Monifah continues to be annoyance refusing to move from number seven however it could come under pressure from the new arrival to the top ten this week courtesy of "Fly Away" by Lenny Kravitz up from thirteen to number eight.

"Until the Time is Through" by Five remains at number nine and "Anthme for the Year 2000" by Silverchair fell two slots to number ten. GG

Losers

It's all tearing down for The Living End with "All Torn Down" sliding from twenty six to forty one this week. 

Looks like the public aren't feeling "End of the Line" by Honeyz as it dipped ten to thirty five which is a shame as I really like that song still. "Lullaby" by Shawn Mullins dived from eighteen to thirty one. 

Gains

We have more big gains than losers this week beginning with "Honey to the Bee" by BIllie Piper up thirteen slots to twenty, this song is definitely catchy so I am not surprised to see this up off it's debut. 

Also up off it's debut last week is 4 the Cause with their cover of "Stand by Me" unfortunately up eight to twenty nine. 

"Last to Know" by Human Nature scored a ten place rebound to thirty two...delighted about this one while "Save Tonight" by Eagle Eyed Cherry is up eight to thirty three.

"9pm (Til I Come)" by atb gained nine slots to thirty seven this week in more pleasing news.

Really the only gain I am not thrilled about gaining is that of "Put Your Hands Up" by Black and White Brothers up eight to forty two...really, people? Come on, we can do better than this. 

New Entries

Six entries this week, beginning with...

50. "Love Lies Bleeding" by Sonic Animation

We're starting the week with an Australian dance and techno group called Sonic Animation and I'll give this song credit for actually being somewhat interesting and less repetitive with it's instrumentation and pretty solid base groove even if the lyrics are not anything to write home about, the content being about feeling ecstasy and desire  which makes sense for a song that would fit right in on the dancefloor. This song is fine enough but it's nothing I am going to come back to. 

49. "Millennium" by Robbie Williams

Time again to talk about the most successful solo member of Take That that being Robbie Williams and his new song that given we're heading to the new millennium because of course we had to have a song about it only this time Williams is taking inspiration from James Bond themes more specifically "You Only Live Twice" and satirically explores the jet set lifestyle and reflecting on the anticipation of the year 2000 within cuture and how generations going forward may lose some traditions which is actually not a bad tangent for this sort of song however I do think where the issue with this song is in how weirdly elegant the production is for a song about the future especially in the more orchestral arrangements...

Then again, it could be a case of past meeting future or something? Who knows? The song is pretty good, check it out if you are curious. 

48. "Blame It on the Weatherman" by B*Witched

Staying in the UK and we have the fourth single from B*Witched and I think I might like this better than any of their previous three singles more because yeah...this is pretty close to great with the storm sound effects, the gentle guitar and the girls harmonies on the hook. The song is about blaming the weatherman for the end of a relationship and using the horrible weather outside as justification for blaming the break up on the poor weatherman!

But yeah, I just love how this sounds and how the song builds and the vocals stacking on top of each other, this song is well worth yout time, check it out. 

46. "Right Here, Right Now" by Fatboy Slim

So we have the follow up to "Praise You" from Fatboy Slim and unfortunately I am not much of a fan of this at all, sure I get the instrumental appeal but that breathy voice going "Right here/..ight now" hits the wall of being incredibly annoying, it's somewhat lucky that the instrumentation is somewhat memorable because otherwise I'd say this is annoyingly forgettable rather than annoying and mediocre. Next!

45. "It's Our Time" by Ilanda

Yeah we're finishing with Australians this week beginning with vocal harmony and dance group Ilanda's newest song "It's Our Time" and well...this song is good old fun time with the gleaming funk keys and a pretty solid groove to match that feels reminiscent of what CDB were able to do in the mid 90s although I will say the countdown in the middle of the song is somewhat a bit unnecesaary and doesn't really fit in with the smooth vibe of the song. It's not bad overall. 

43. "Lucky Me" by Bachelor Girl

Wrapping up the week with the latest single from Bachelor Girl, a pop rock song where this woman has everything she could want in life such as a nice house, car etc but is bemoaning the lack of compassion and love within their community where people have put material things above loving other people and demonstrating care and compasion towards others (somethig that has only been deomonstrated more and more in the 2020s) and Tania Doko's vocal delivery does well to communicate how fed up she is with the dynamic at play here, in short another pretty great song that deserves your attention

That conpletes our week and wow, best and worst do not fall out easy here. I think I am going to give worst of the week to "Right Here, Right Now" by Fatboy Slim, it's the song I care least about of our new arrivals.

As for the best, it's a tight go but I am going to give it to "Lucky Me" by Bachelor Girl mostly because i think the lyrics hit hard and play well for introspection.

ARIA Top 50 Singles Chart Review: April 27th: The One Where Olivias Dominate and Bieber's Beauty Has A Renaissance

So this week was something...the re-emergenece of Justin Bieber's career post Coachella and a top three that is dominated by Olivias so let's just right into the top ten where Olivia.....Rodrigo claimed the number one spot with "drop dead", it's second new number one of 2026 (yes, the year has been utterly dominated by "Man I Need") and Olivia's fourth number one in Australia following on from "Drivers License", "Good 4 U" (both in 2021) and "Vampire" (2023)

"Man I Need" by Olivia Dean remains at number two while last week's number one "Rein Me In" by Sam Fender and Olivia Dean slipped off the top spot back to number three...I get the feeling that this song has peaked but fuck am I happy that it got two weeks at number one.

"Daisies" by Justin Bieber continued to benefit from Bieber's moment at Coachella jumping six spots to number four and we continue with Bieber because his 2012  song with Nicki Minaj "Beauty and a Beat" is back on the chart under the ARIA rules around viral songs at number five, this song is so stupid that it's hilarious...it feels like a novelty song to some degree.

The fall out of all of this is that "IloveitIloveitIloveit" by Bella Kay slumped three to number six, I am not sure about this song's future in the top ten while "Dracula" by Tame Impala slipped back two to number seven.

Also falling back two slots to number eight is "Choosin' Texas" by Ella Langley, I am mostly just shocked this song made the top ten at all!. "Ordinary" by Alex Warren slipped two slots back to number nine and finally "So Easy (To Fall in Love)" by Olivia Dean fell four to number ten.

Losers

"Swim" by BTS might be having it's last week on the chart unless something miraculous happens, it dropped another ten slots to fifty.

The only other major loser was "Pinky Up" by Katseye down six to twenty five.

Drop Outs

We saw four songs depart this week with three being sent to the On Replay singles chart with "Espresso" by Sabrina Carpenter, "A Bar Song (Tipsy)" by Shaboozey and "Just the way You are" by Milky x Mallgrab. 

The other drop out being "That's So True" by Grace Abrams.

Gains

So sadly we did see two of last week's new entries gain decently off their debuts with "Earrings" by Malcolm Todd up six to twenty eight and "Freakin' Out" by Dexter and the Moon Rocks up six to forty three.

"Just Keep Watching" by Tate McRae continues to be a pain in my buttcrack by climbing seven to forty one. 

Re-Entries

Apart from "Beauty and A Beat" by Justin Bieber and Nicki Minaj being back at number fve, "Be By You" by Luke Combs continues sto bounce on and off the charts but it's back this week at forty nine. 

New Entry

Two new entries this week, beginning with...

39. "SPEED DEMON" by Justin Bieber

So we're getting this cut from "SWAG II" and unfortunately it's not one of the better songs on that album, Bieber's vocals sound processed to hell and back and there's nothing all that impressive about what is on offer with the production here especially with a guitar line that is painfully reedy, weak and rerally doesn't sound good as Bieber croons about overcoming negativity and personal growth blah blah. Justin, the poor production and vocal performance isn't helping your case here, let's move on. 

1. "drop dead" by Olivia Rodrigo

We end the week with the number one song everyone saw coming from a mile away and likely the opening song of Olivia's upcoming album "you seem pretty sad for a girl so in love" because this is a song about having a really intense and passionate crush on somebody and the euphoria and headiness that comes with feeling that sort of infatuation with another person. It actually feels like head cannon from Olivia to some degree even though she has described the song has being about a "perfect first date" she went on.

As for the production? Well, it's a lot of warping synths, a little guitar and strings that give the song this uncanny Chappell Roan vibe that I actually like a lot and also makes sense when Dan Nigro does the production for both Olivia and Chappell and the pair have been on tour together so Olivia would probably consider somebody calling this a "Chappell Roan song" a compliment. In short, this is a good song, it's probably the best of any of the new entries we've had in the past month.

Yeah, "drop dead" by Olivia Rodrigo  is the best of the week here, it's not really a contest. Worst of the week goes to "SPEED DEMON" by Justin Bieber. 

Pretty Fly (For 1999): 25th April Protect Angel Bee of Mine and Thank 9pm

This week is going to be a long especially in terms of the new entries...there's seven of those this week however let's start with the top ten where "Baby, One More Time" by Britney Spears remains at number one but its sales are starting to slow a bit and it could find itself vulnerable. 

The challengers are beckoning too with "Why Don't You Get a Job?" by The Offspring which climbed one spot to number two, "We Like to Party (The Vengabus)" by The Vengaboys jumped three spots to number three and "No Scrubs" by TLC  which looks to have the better momentum of the three challengers as it skidattled up four spots to number four.

Of course all this could be because "That Don't Impress Me Much" by Shania Twain crashed three spots to number five and "The Animal Song" by Savage Garden down two to number sx. 

"Touch It" by Monifah remained unmoved by the chaos above it stuck at nnumber seven. "Anthem for the Year 2000" by Silverchair down thre to number eight.

What I was surprised to see was "Until the Time is Through" by Five up two into the top ten at number nine. "This Kiss" by Faith Hill slid one to number ten and thankfully looks to be done in the top ten.

Losers

So as you can imagine this week is messy so lets begin with "Heartbeat/Tragedy" by Steps which just utterly collapsed from nineteen to forty five. Former top ten hit "Jackie" by BZ and Joanne slumped from thirty to forty four.

"Last to Know" by Human Nature slipped eight to forty two while Pandora's "A Little Bit" slipped eleven to forty. 

Sadly Jennifer Love Hewitt's "How Do I Deal?" is not getting all the answers down from twenty two to thirty six. and in the loss I am surprised by,.."Changes" by 2pac lost all it's momentum to slide from number twelve to thirty five. 

"Doo Wop (That Thing)" by Lauryn Hill slumped ten slots to thirty four.

Gains

We did get some gains this week with the biggest gain of the week belonging to Eminem's "Hi! My Name Is" climing twenty spots to twenty one. "Every Morning" by Sugar Ray jumped eight to twenty three. 

Korn's "Freak On A Leash" found some more freak to gain eight spots to twenty three while The Living End are tearing up the charts with "All Torn Down" up ten to twenty six.  

New Entries

A nassuve seven new entries this week, beginning with...

50. "Put Your Hands Up" by The Black  and White Brothers

So the Black and White Brothers are an electronic duo hailing from Switzerland with this being the first snng to hit the ARIA singles chart and I'm sorry, I fucking hate this, the vocals are just nasal with nothing more than the lame "Put your hands up in the air" refrain that gets incrementally more annoying every time it is said by that neutered dog whistle of a voice over that bassline, 

We can do better than THIS! Come on..

48. "9pm (Til I Come)" by ATB

So we head to Germany for this song from DJ and producer ATB and mercifully this one doesn't hit the infernal annoyance the previous song does by actually having a dang solid guitar loop that winds up pretty catchy and the female vocals actually fit the song nicely, throw in the bassline and the song is actually pretty dang good for what is an electronic song with not much in the way of lyrics. 

Yeah, check this out, this is pretty good. 

37. "Stand by Me" by 4 the Cause

So we go from dance to r'n'b with 4 The Caause, an Illinois group that later moved to Germany and well this is exactly what you are thinking this is...a cover of Ben E. King's "Stand by Me" amd well. this is something of a mess, the hook is singing with other members repeating by rapping which hits the right point of being annoying and taking the emotion out of the song that King so carefully crafted, it sounds like a Glee performance...oh wait...Glee did this song somewhat better.  This is obnoxious...next!

33. "Honey to the Bee" by Billie Piper

Stepping back into the UK pop scene with this new song from Billie Piper who is actually involved with the next two new entries however "Honey to the Bee" is the latest single from Piper's album entitiled "Honey to the B" and you know what" If there's anything to be said about this song is that Billie does have some pipes, she sounds better on this song than she did on "Because I Want To" (that song is still incredibly obnoxious) but especially on softer songs like this one she sounds really good.

Also this song overall this song is a pretty damn good pop song even if the chorus doesn't quite pop in the way the bridge build suggest its going to and it helps that Piper is a commanding presence. The content is your standard pining love song where she's trying to convince this guy that he is meant for her that she's his honey to his bee. It's cute. Don't mind this overall. 

29. "Thank ABBA For The Music" by Steps, Tina Cousins, Cleopatra, B*Witched and Billie Piper

So this is a strange one, a bunch of established artists and groups like Steps, Tina Cousins and Cleopatra got together at rhe Brit Awards in February to perform a medley of ABBA songs beginning with "Take a Chance on Me", "Dancing Queen", "Mamma Mia" and "Thank You for the Music", now I will say they did stick wth melodies and there were no hackneyed changes apart from changing "you" to "ABBA" in "Tbank You for the Music".

However the issue with this song is the balance here, eleven women to two guys (Lee and H from Steps) and the lack of baritone that the guys could have provided is missing in the medley here. Don't get me wrong, the ladies all sound amazing and the harmonies on point. It's fine enough...nice tribute that just misses in one spot.

28. "Angel of Mine" by Monica

Swinging back to R'n'B with this song from Monica which was recorded by Eternal in 1997 and then re recorded by Monica for her second album "The Boy is Mine" and really, there's not much to say about this song. it's a pretty standard love song where Monica has found her soulmate and describes that meeting that soul mate ande' that instant pyrrhic feeling of an instant connection with that someone special over piano anf strings. Its sweet and cloying but I am not going to remember this song long term. 

27. "Protect Your Mind (Braveheart)" by DJ Sakin & Friends

We're ending the week with a song from a Turkish-German trance project DJ Sakin and friends. It's pretty much a love song that's centre focussed onsomeone who has found their "Braveheart", a warrior, who is willing able to fight for love, truth and justice and that this guy is her one true brave heart but I will say that I do like this form of trance where it blends in instrumentation from other countries like the Scotland's bagpipes and a bit of pan flute to make the song sound really evocative and majestic, it sounds almost unique!. Nice song, check it out if you are curious. 

That was our week, a long one but the worst of the week falls out easily...whatever the hell "Put Your Hands Up" by The Black and White Brothers was. I have no desire to hear that song again.

best of the week is a little harder but I am going to give it to ATB for "9pm (Til I Come)"

Top Ten Worst HIt Songs of 1994

 So in past years, I haven't had trouble putting together this list, most of the really bad stuff can be separated out quickly and dealt with as per 1992, 1996 and 2000 but this year...I had to work hard to figure out ten songs that I could even justify putting on a list of the worst hits of 1994...it's that kind of year but I did get there eventually and most of this list is just really saccharine and sappy music in pop and rock or the song just missed the mark.

A reminder of the rules, the songs must have either debuted on the 1994 ARIA singles year end chart or landed higher on the 1994 year end than they did in 1993. "Zombie" by The Cranberries is being left to 1995 as it is higher on the 1995 year end list than it is on the 1994 year end, also a song can't make this list if it's just boring...there has to be something actually wrong with the song, 

So with all that in mind, let's get this show on the road, starting with...

Number Ten

Look...I tried...but when a song as saccharine and as tepid as this is the biggest song of the year in a year as good as this one for the charts...we got a problem...

"Lovr Is All Around' by Wet Wet Wet

This cover of The Troggs song was for the movie "Four Weddings and a Funeral" and lyrically it is just the worst kind of pop music cheese in that it's not tasty or fresh but its out of date and there are visible signs of mold  starting to spread through the cheese, he feels love in his fingers and toes and from there the feeling only grows only for him to realize that she isn't really recoprocating so he throws himself at her and begs her to let her love for him show. It's this weepy, insincere song that may as well be a simp anthem for the ages, I cannot stand it. 

Number Nine

Moving away slightly from simp anthem territory but remaining completely drippy and overly saccharine....

"I Swear" by All-4-One.

Again another song toward the top of the year end chart that slipped into dippity doo, saccharine nonsense, this time a cover of John Michael Montgomery's 1993 country hit song of the same name and while the original is fine enough, John Michael has a sincerity that makes the song work however this pop cover from All-4-One has all the sincerity of a politician making a promise that they KNOW they are 100% going to break because they cannot stick by the promise...swearing by the moon and the stars in the sky is ridiculous and it sounds all completely fake insincere from the vocals. Blergh. Let's move on

Number Eight

At this point, Peter Frampton should declare a moratorium on people covering this song because nobody can cover it and do it well. 

"Baby, I Love Your Way" by Big Mountain

I am sick to death of people covering this song and wind up making a bigger mess of it than Donald Trump trying to do foreign policy, this time we got the reggae version of the song which still takes out the sisncerity of the original and replaces it with this weirdly hollow sounding song that makes me wonder if they missed the love and sincerity in the Frampton original like that god awful late 80s cover did where it was all oversold annoyance. Ugh. There was no need for this cover, Peter Frampton, I am so truly sorry. 

Number Seven

I am going to keep this one brief because just like the covers of "Baby, I Love Your Way"...there was no need for this...

"The Power of Love" by Beverly

We got two different versions of Jennifer Rush's 1985 hit "The Power of Love" and I would argue that Celine Dion made the definitive cover of this song to the point we didn't need this screechy dancefloor ready cacophony complete with gang vocals and Beverly singing "I am your lady and you are my man" with all the passion of somebody farting post dinner courtesy of being bloated, it just sounds completely insincere and awful especially when you compare it to the original. Next!

Number Six

Doing this to a great song should be sacrilege...

"Twist and Shout" by Chaka Demus feat. Pliers and Jack Radix

I absolutely adore The Beatles cover of "Twist and Shout", a song that was originally recorded in 1961 by The Top Notes, and for Chaka Demus, Pliers and Jack Radix to grab up chunks of that song for this reggae infused nightmare where it uses to "Twist and Shout" as part of a song goading a girl into having sex with him and it's gross as hell, it's the sort of song that leaves a foul taste that lingers long after the song finishes and I want no part of it. Gross.

Number Five

With this next song, I will attempt answer the titular question and explain in no uncertain terms but why we cannot talk until the song quality improves.

"Can We Talk?" by Tevin Campbell

My answer to the titular question of is no...of course...not when Tevin Campbell sounds like a whiny spoilt brat who is upset that his first crush just rejected him for a dance at the primary school disco, he sounds pathetically prepubescent when he attempts to sing or rather begs for this girl to let him talk himself into her pants which brings me to the production which sounds dated back to the late eighties or possibly early nineties because let's face it...1990 and 1991 were still furiously trying to pretend they were still in the 80s, it's a slog of a song that deserves to be forgotten so let's move on.

Number Four

For a collab featuring three of the biggest names in rock, I am truly baffled by this song and how anyone thought this song was even worthy of release. 

"All For Love" by Bryan Adams, Sting and Rod Stewart

For all the star power on this song and especially the run Bryan Adams was on wth hits in the early 90s I am baffled at how NOBODY connected to this song for the film "The Three Musketeers" couldn't think to make something that didn't sound so incredibly cheap and none of them appear to be able to harmonise especially when they all shout "ALL FOR LOVE!" amd the lyrics are just the same corny love song lyrics that just make me groan especially when they try to turn the Musketeers phrase "All for one and one for all" into their bastion of love. I have no desire to hear this song again. Blergh.

Number Three

Then again as far as bad love songs go...there's worse...like this.

"Always" by Bon Jovi

There's something about this song that feels so overly dramatic to the point that the drama feels so unearned it's almost to the point that it makes me laugh especially when the song opens up with those dramatic piano chords and Jon Bon Jovi whispering "This Romeo was bleedin' but you can't see his blood"...uh Jon, that's internal bleeding you might want to go and see a doctor for that one, he then goes on to sing that he is a fighter but wthout this girl by his side, he gives up then you aren't really a fighter, Jon...just somebody parading around like he is a prized cock but then does the whole "I can't go on" when shit gets serious. 

As if all of that is not bad enough, we get to the hook of this comedic shamozzle described as a rock song where Bon Jovi goes into full on horny yowling cat mode with "AAAANNNNDDDDD IIIIIIIIII will love you,...baby...FOR ALLLLLWAAYYYYS".

The bad lyrics just keep rolling in here, it's never ending with this song like on the bridge where he sings if she told him to cry and die for her, he would. It's just over sold nonsense and he is painting her as controlling as hell. Save this song for where it belongs which is Home and Away...not on the charts.

Number Two

Ahh so Mr Adams, we meet again *cracking knuckles intensifies*....

"Please Forgive Me" by Bryan Adams

This song is just one of those songs where again the song doesn't earn it's dramatic pathos especially if she heard "Have Ever Really Loved a Woman" and noped right out of there or that Bryan Adams is referencing the first time he and this woman hooked up in the fucking first line of the song and goes to describe their relationship as only getting better and how he is so impossibly in love with this girl which leads me to ask what he is asking for forgiveness from this girl for? Did he force himself on her or something because he is in love with this song? That question is something I wondered because the song is so incredibly boring and Adams is just reminiscing and pontificating on their first kiss and having sex for the first time. 

"Can't Stop This Thing We Started" and "A Night to Remember" are both far far better than this boring ass overtly dramatic nonsense.

Number One

It wasn't going to be anything else, this song is  profound in it's absence of anything good and hence..

"Said I Loved You...But I Lied" by Michael Bolton

I didn't want to do this, I didn't want to put a song by an artist who toward the backend of his chart making career was the butt of a lot of school yard jokes in the mid nineties from kids who thought Michael Bolton's music was for their grandparents but "Said I Loved You but I Lied" was reprehensible rght from the god damn jumping, everything about this song is wrong, starting with the insincere vocal performance from Michael Bolton and the weirdly gooey production that feels you feeling sick in the pit of the stomache to the point it makes you want to wretch over the toilet bowl especially when Bolton is comparing love to candles where love is a flame that doesn't go out in wind or rain.

This song just feels gross to even listen to, every time I hear it, I want to go jump into a tub of disinfectant and hope the ache in my tummy goes the hell away. 

It's the worst hit song of 1994 and I'm not lying about it.

ARIA Singles Top 50 Chart Review: April 20th. The one where the new entries are a cavalcade of...something...

 So the battle for the number one spot continued this week and it's about to become a three way go with the arrival of "drop dead" by Olivia Rodrigo next week and just glancing at this week's new entries...we are in for a trainwreck of a week in that regard but let's get back to the top ten where "Rein Me" by Sam Fender and Olivia Dean returned to number one basically on the margins in terms of sales and a little streaming. 

It sent "Man I Need" by Olivia Dean back to number two, it still remains a threat for the top spot but a lot is going to depend on those streaming margins against "drop dead".

All of this leaves "IloveitIloveitIloveit" by Bella Kay in a strange post as it almost feels like this song has peaked in some way given it's not makng gains on streaming anymore. 

What was surprisingly was that "Choosin' Texas" by Ella Langley did not make the ground I thought it would, the album boost really only helped this song maintain its postion. 

Speaking holding position that is the case for "Dracula" by Tame Impala at number five. "So Easy (Too Fall in Love" by Olivia Dean at number six, "Ordinary" by Alex Warren stubbornly clinging on at number seven and "Stateside" by Pink Pantheress and Zara Larsson at number eight.

Raye's "Where is My Husband" rebounded to number nine while thanks to Coachella performance and subsequent discourse "Daisies" by Justin Bieber climbed twenty six spots to number ten. 

Losers

"Sailor Song" by Gigi Perez fell nine spots to number forty seven while "Just Keep Watching" by Tate McRae turned off seven spots to forty eight.  

Olivia Dean's "Baby Steps" slipped nine to forty one while "Swim" by BTS continues to struggle to remain afloat on the chart down eleven to forty.

Drop Outs

So we have a slew of drop outs this week, let's begin with the long running songs like "APT" by Rose and Bruno Mars, "Pink Skies" by Zach Bryan and "Carry You Home" by Alex Warren.

Then there's country singles like "Be By You" by Luke Combs and "Weren't for the Wind" by Ella Langley. 

Then there's the songs that really didn't quite get going like "I Run" by HVN and Kaitlyn Aragon and "Aperture" by Harry Styles. 

Finally there's "Father" by Kanye West and Andre Troutman which will be mothballed and forgotten. 

Gains

So outside of that massive gain for "Daisies" by Justin Bieber, there was only one other major gain this week with "Manchild" by Sabrina Carpenter rising nine places to twenty six.

Re-Entries

Three new entries this beginning with "Porch Light" by Noah Kahan is back at fifty (I'd expect this to get a bigger boost with the album being released this Friday).

"House Tour" by Sabrina Carpenter is back at number forty three because of a combination of Coachella and likely because it got a video.

"Yukon" by Justin Bieber also returned at twenty three due to Coachella and the subsequent discourse around his performance.

New Entries

Five new entries this week...let's just get this over with because this is gonna fucking suck..

49. "Freakin' Out" by Dexter and the Moon Rocks

Wow, so this is a weird one this week, Desternd the Moon Rocks are a country rock act hailing from Texas, USA, yet this song in particular feels more like a weaker grunge song that could have come out in 1994/95 only this feels like a cheap Soundgarden rip off, its okay in terms of the lyrics and it might well be one of the better songs new this week.

As for the content of the song, it really doesn't dig deeper than surface level of being alone and wanting somebody to come warm them up and not freak out. Its fine but that's all it will be at best. 

46. "Pop Dat Thing" by DaBaby

Oh I see the Da Baby redemption arc has well and truly begun in the US so Australia just had to get in on the redemption arc train which gives us this pile of nonsense which amounts to DaBaby begging this girl to "Pop Dat Thing" with the thing DaBaby is referencing being his god damn dick, he isn't being shy about what he wants this girl to do which involves a combination of sitting in his lap and eventually blowing and sucking on his 'D'

Throw in the god awful canned production complete with a tinny voice going "Pop Dat Thing" and you have one of the most disposable and utterly useless rap songs of 2026...NEXT!

34. "Earrings" by Malcolm Todd

It's never a good sign when the artist involved is signed to a recording deal on basis of going viral on Tik Tok which is the story of American musician and singer/songwriter Malcolm Todd and with this being his first single to hit the ARIA singles chart I was wary especially as I had heard this song wasn't particularly good and in a week like this one...I was hoping that the horror stories weren't true and so how was it?

Uh yeah, the horror stories checked out because this is the rancid sort of song that sets the industry back twenty years because dear god what even is that arse backward production that doesn't allow anything including Todd's vocals to breathe? Or how the song is just a bunch of choruses and refrains about how earrings got lost in some girl's bed.and Todd is accusing him of being scared to tell this girl that he lost the lyrics because he isn't talking to her before finishing the "song" with "I hope you like my mixtape".

I hope this song dies a very fast death on the charts because this sucks royally/

33.  "Be Her" by Ella Langley

Of all the new songs from "Dandelion", Australia had to go and pick the worst song of the bunch to chart...yeah, I said it, this is the worst song from that album and I am absolutely stunned that it was picked to be a single because threads like a song that GirlDefined would love for what it preaches within the lyrics of the song, its basically "Dear Future Husband" except in this czse this woman has found herself a husband and is now aspiring to be the ultimate Christian tradwife who cooks, cleans, takes care of the kids and wirships Jesus just like 'her'. It's just got this icky overtly conservative vibe that makes milk curdle in my intestines every time I hear it.  I hope this doesn't stick around.

19. "Pinky Up" by Katseye

My last hope for something that might be good...oh wait, it's new song from Katseye, the female group version of Onision releasing pop atrocities and yeah, this one is no different... this is a disaster of obnoxious production that's all centred around the hook that got no chance of actually being a thing..."Pinky Up" (Talk about trying to make fetch happen). I won't say it's worse than a previous single of theirs but it's definitely the sort of song that makes your ears lose hope that they may not hear good music ever again.

That winds up our week...I am nixing best of the week this week...NONE of this crap deserves the title of "best" at all so instead I am giving out a tie for worst of the week which is going to "Pinky Up" by Katseye, "Earring" by Malcolm Todd and "Be Her" by Ella Langley...yeah a three way tie for worst...that's how bad this week was. 

At least next week brings Olivia Rodrigo...it's only up from here...we can hope.