Now for the most part I didn’t mind a lot of the songs that
became hits this year on the ARIA charts however many disturbing trends showed
up this year including the music industry reducing itself to grave robbery to
ensure hits on the chart, some incredible laziness across rap and hip hop and
pop songs that exacerbated a lot of pop music’s issues…all of which will be
discussed here.
Here’s a reminder of the rules.
1.
Must have made ARIA’s end of year list.
Must have made ARIA’s end of year list.
2.
For a song to make this list, the song must have elements that are deeply annoying or even infuriating to land on this list. Being dull or overplayed on the radio is not enough to piss me off.
For a song to make this list, the song must have elements that are deeply annoying or even infuriating to land on this list. Being dull or overplayed on the radio is not enough to piss me off.
3.
No XXXtentacion or 6ix9ine will appear here because it’s just a given that both would appear here otherwise, yes, both made some pretty awful music but it’s not worth giving XXXtentacion’s music any attention given it’s now purely the music going down the path of grave robbery plus both are going to make everyone’s worst lists – after all “FEFE” by 6ix9ine and Nicki Minaj is a partial birth abortion masquerading as a song but these lists can get boring if we all put the same songs on them.
No XXXtentacion or 6ix9ine will appear here because it’s just a given that both would appear here otherwise, yes, both made some pretty awful music but it’s not worth giving XXXtentacion’s music any attention given it’s now purely the music going down the path of grave robbery plus both are going to make everyone’s worst lists – after all “FEFE” by 6ix9ine and Nicki Minaj is a partial birth abortion masquerading as a song but these lists can get boring if we all put the same songs on them.
4.
This is my opinion only. My opinion shouldn’t stop you from enjoying the songs I write about here today.
This is my opinion only. My opinion shouldn’t stop you from enjoying the songs I write about here today.
Let’s get the show on the road with making something
obvious, this song is crap. C-R-A-P, am I making myself cleafr
10. “Friends” by Marshmello and Anne Marie
We’re starting this list with a song that I admit to
somewhat liking on first listen but after repeated listens soured on me quickly
because I realized that this song was talking down to me as though I am some
dumbarse who is expected to take this bottom feeding nonsense without
questioning it. Anne-Marie has had enough of a guy trying to force a romantic
relationship that she doesn’t want, and she lets him know by giving us all a
lesson on how to spell the word ‘friends’. Geezus christ.
The song just comes across as incredibly juvenile and given
it’s possible that the guy just isn’t over her yet it’s not the most mature way
to tell him that she isn’t interested and only wants to friends. I nearly
scream GROW UP at the radio when this song comes on, it’s that juvenile and
petty, it’s ridiculous.
So while Anne-Marie and Marshmello were giving out spelling
lessons, we were dealing with Post Malone’s brand of trap music.
9. “Psycho” by Post Malone feat. Ty Dolla $ign
It feels like there has been an influx of songs this year
using the word “Psycho’ and unfortunately, we’re here to discuss a song that is
pretty god damn awful. Post Malone’s whining vocals over a beat that doesn’t
change or do anything apart from drone on and on. The lyrics are just about the
usual things in trap music like cars, girls, his immense wealth and a
ridiculous list of brand names that it would be considered farcical if he
wasn’t getting paid for the endorsements during his songs and oh there’s a
reference to domestic violence where Ty Dolla $ign mentions hitting a woman who
wants to have his children…just charming.
This song was a NUMBER ONE hit for some ungodly reason.
So moving on from this mess of a song, we run straight into
somebody who was ubiquitous in 2018, as if it wasn’t predictable, hello Drake.
8. “In My Feelings” by Drake
Ugh, in a year that featured entirely way too much bad Drake
at number one than what is healthy with “God’s plan” being a nothing of a song,
“I’m Upset” being terrible (it missed the list because I forgot about it until
now) and “Nice for What” being saved by that Lauryn Hill sample , this was a
sign that Drake had run out of ideas and boy, it showed here on this fragment
of a song which features terrible production and only became a hit because of
some ridiculous dance meme that was popular for a couple of weeks before
sputtering out and this song collapsed like the dead weight it is and I want a
long break from anything Drake related although with a Drake-Migos mixtape and
another Drake album both apparently coming next year, I don’t hold hope that
that break is coming any time soon.
You might remember that I mentioned Post Malone earlier,
well in 2018, he became big enough to see wannabes arrive on the charts with
the first being this painful imposter.
7. “Lucid Dreams” by Juice WRLD
I know people were more pissed off by “All Girls Are the
Same” (quite rightly) for being an absolute turd of a song but this one was the
one that became a hit for some unknown reason because this song is just a pure
disgusting blame it on the woman bitchfest, JuiceWRLD complains that he can’t
change the world he is with so he is going to have to replace her and also
seems keen on not letting the girl move on with her life because he comes
across like an obsessed stalker like manic.
His obsessive stalker type behaviour is over a beat that
makes Post Malone’s music sound like what Britney Spears was singing in the
late 90s. Ugh.
2018 was the year of pop artists going country and of the
two, one of those songs got extremely popular for no good reason.
6. “The Middle” by Zedd feat. Maren Morris and Grey
I adore Maren Morris which makes it painful for me to put her
on this list but I can’t lie, this song drove me up the wall with its mediocre
production that it may as well have been a “Stay” rip off (I didn’t like Zedd’s
“Stay” feat. Alessia Cara either by the way) with the ticking clock noise that
permeates that song like it does this one. Also the lyrics don’t really even
tell a story where Morris wants this guy to meet her in the middle but for some
reason the guy wants no part of it, maybe in this case, it might be better for
Morris to leave the guy the hell alone.
Speaking of alone…. There was a song doing it solo and doing
it badly too.
5.“Solo” by Clean Bandit feat. Demi Lovato
I feel terrible putting Demi Lovato as she really isn’t the
reason why this song is an awful slice of EDM pop, its actually the most
juvenile song about sex that was released this year with it’s incredibly annoying
“whoop whoop whoop1” to cover up swear words in the chorus underlining the
issues that have been around in pop music for the last couple of years, not to
mention the fact Demi has to sing through a ton of annoying chipmunk like sound
effects that make the song. The entire production is extremely juvenile. Clean
Bandit, you are so much better than this song.
For the mess of noise this song was, at least it didn’t
suffer from laziness unlike….
4. “No Brainer” by DJ Khaled feat. Justin Bieber, Chance the
Rapper and Quavo
Believe me, this isn’t the last example of laziness that
we’ll get to but in 2018, DJ Khaled got to the point of self parody when he
decided to go down the path of lazily reproducing “I’m the One” for 2018 by
bringing back Justin Bieber, Chance the Rapper and Quavo, the only one missing
from “I’m the One” part 1 is Lil Wayne because Lil Wayne completely lost the
plot on part 1. Bieber may well be the best part in handling the hook but
that’s not saying much when he delivers a completely unenthusiastic effort, Quavo
drops a verse that can be heard on most Migos tracks on Culture II while Chance
the Rapper delivers a verse that isn’t at all interesting, this song just reeks
of non effort and laziness.
So after all that, what could possibly be worse?
3. “In My Mind” by Dynoro feat. Gigi D’Agostino
Oh god, I would love to know who the hell thought this
drippy miserable song which features Gigi D’Agostino repetitively singing the
same things repeatedly over this absolutely horrible beat beat that is
impossible to dance to or even remotely groove to. Seriously, this song makes
me question what happened to the fun in music because it’s not there in this
song that’s for sure. Hopefully songs like this don’t chart in 2019 and what’s
in my mind and in my head ain’t this song.
My number two pick won’t surprise anyone…well it shouldn’t
as it will be on plenty of people’s worst hits lists…for good reason.
2. “Meant to Be” by Bebe Rexha and Florida Georgia Line
First question, what’s is the point of accrediting Bebe
Rexha as the lead artist on this faux-country pop song (anyone who says its
country should be handed the last Kacey Musgraves album so they can find out
what real country music is) especially Florida Georgia Line sing on most of the
song leaving Bebe Rexha to just one verse and chorus. Enough can be said about
Bebe Rexha’s pathetic little girlish sounding
voice complaining that she has had enough of guys not treating her right placing
her at the cross roads with the duo Florida Georgia Line, she’s giving them the
signal to back off and leave her alone but Florida Georgiia Line want her to
give into them, it’s just icky from a content standpoint when the Me Too
movement is around…yeah,…yuck.
So that leaves just one song and I must say I changed my mind
a zillion times over it but when I listened to this song again and yeah it had
to land at the top of this list for good reason.
1 1. “I Love It” by Lil Pump and Kanye West
If you looked up the word ‘lazy’ in the dictionary this song
would be the musical definition of the word, a song with half assed production
involving trap and lyrics that alternate from being stupid to outright gross. Kanye’s
verse is the most basic rap verse I have heard, it’s almost like he is trying hard
to lower himself to Lil Pump’s level and as for Lil Pump, he handles the hook
which basically insults the young woman and her boyfriend and repeating the line
“I love It”
None of this song is remotely funny and it shows that Kanye
really did do his best to lose any respect he did have. This song and a couple
of others on this lit is music for those who appreciate music that appeases the
lowest common denominator, it’s a whole new level of lazy garbage that I
thought at least Kanye wasn’t capable of.
Let’s hope for better next year.
