Pretty Fly (For 1999). 9th May. Every You Stay Livin' La Vida Loca on the Westside

We have a bit of a wild week at hand here where remarkably our top ten feels the calmest it has been in awhile so let's jump right into that where for a second week "No Scrubs" by TLC remains at number one. It's got a comfortable margin ahead of "We Like to Party (The Vengabus" by The Vengaboys which moved up one to number two this week given some renewed strength,

It pushed past "Why Don't You Get A Job" by The Offspring down one two number three. From there we have four songs remaining in their position from last week, those being "Baby, One More Time" by Britney Spears at number four "The Animal Song" by Savage Garden at number five, "That Don't Impress Me Much" by Shania Twain at number six and "Touch It by Monifah at number seven (I think "Touch It" is pretty much done, it's stalling out and will be on the downswing soon), 

"Until the Time is Through" by Five jumped one spot to number eight..glad to see this doing well, it got the better of "Fly Away" by Lenny Kravitz down one to number nine.

Finally we have a newer song into the top ten courtesy of "Honey to the Bee" by Billie Piper which climbed ten spots to number ten...I'm mostly okay with this for now. 

Losers

Jennifer Love Hewitt's "How Do I Deal?" is heading rapidly toward an exit from the top fifty down twelve to forty eight, "Praise You" by Fatboy Slim continues to underperform as it slipped six to forty. 

Blackstreet's underwhelming "Girlfriend/Boyfriend" with Janet Jackson broke up hardcore diving from sixten to thirty three. 

"Smile 'N' Shine" by Pandora is frowning and starting to hide as it slipped nine slots to thirty one., it's a similar case for "You Don't Know Me" by Armand Van Helden and Duane Harden down nine to twenty four and Brandy's "Have You Ever' down eight to twenry two.

"This Kiss" by Faith Hill felt the kiss of the downswing by the Australian public so it crumbled from eleven to nineteen.

Gains

I am not exactly wild with excitement about our gains this week even though we did see New Radicals finally get a good ten place push thirteen, I'll mostly tolerate the "Thank ABBA for the Music" by Steps, Tina Cousins. B*Witched, Cleopatra and Billie up ten to sixteen and also the six place gain to eighteen for "Protect Your Mind (Braveheart" by DJ Sakin and Friends 

The rest though...yeesh..."Put Your Hands Up" by The Black and White Brothers climbed eight to thirty four because somehow that sound is attractive and the less good Fatboy Slim song "Right Here, Right Now" got a nine place boost to thirty seven,,,blergh,

New Entries

Six new entries this week beginning with...

50. "Westside" by TQ

So ws begin our week with the debut single from Terence Quailes who performs under the name of TQ, he is an R'n"B singer from out of the USA and he does desdicate this song to deceased rappers Tupac Shakur and Eazy-E and hails rappers from his native California and a love letter to the culture of California (which might feel weird to some in 2026) but I do like this, it's got a lot of easy charm and the song does sound well produced with the guitar and piano. I just wish we heard more personality from TQ himself here. Good song but I want to hear more. 

47. "Say It Once" by Ultra

So here have the second single and follow to debut single "Say You Do" from British pop group Ultra, it turns out that this song "Say It Once" is a choppy but pretty catchy breezy pop love song that's kind of charming in how god damn basic it is especially in the lyrics department where he wants this girl to quit being quiet and express her love for him that night because tomorrow is likely going to be too late, in other words he wants her to confirm she loves him before he decides to move on from her the next day and honestly that sentiment can feel a bit pushy to me. Good song though. 

46. "Every You Every Me" by Placebo

Now we dive headfirst into something that might look like a dysfunctional relationship courtesy of this song by UK band Placebo, this is just some solid indie rock with the vocals reminiscent of Billy Corgan of the Smashing Pumpkins, I do like the melody that's provided by the guitars even if does feel a bit like it's chugging. The content of the song is pretty good here, a toxic relationship where it's clear that what is going on between the pair of them is destructive, toxic and will do incredible amounts of harm to both emotionally and mentally., there's a break up in the works here but the song never gets that far. It's decent but I am not sure it sticks in the head. 

44/ "Awful" by Hole

The latest single from Hole's album "Celebrity Skin" which dives deep into the commodification of fame and how modern media is corrupting the hearts and minds of teenage girls around the world which is quite dark lyrically and the lyrics do have a good standpoint however the vocal production on this song is absolute crap, Courtney Love's vocals are buried behind the guitar and drums which drives me absolutely insane, it doesn't sound good and makes me question if the mic in the studio was working when they recorded the song. 

43. "Stay The Same" by Joey McIntyre

Debut solo single from former member of New Kids on the Block Joey McIntyre and dear god, this is the epitome of bland mush where he doesn't want this girl to change or be anyone else, he just wants her to stay the same like tastes and ideals don't change as someone evolves and grows into their own identity, there's just something very icky and cloying about this song that is just incredibly offputing for me so yeah I'd probably move on from this as quickly as I can. 

25. "Livin' La Vida Loca" by Ricky Martin

Considering the insane 1998 Ricky Martin had, I am surprised it took him this long to follow up "Maria" but it's here now and damn this is just one hell of a great Latin pop song! Ricky Martin's charisma could sell communal pooping positively! Throw in the insanely good sounding horns and lyrics all about hiw crazy this girl is and how she's living the crazy life and wants him to join in...I'm fairly certain that if I didn't have hang ups about public nakedness that I would want to take my clothes off and go dancing in the rain with Ricky and this girl. Great song!

It's the best of the week here too. Not going to ignore a god damn geeat pop song. Worst of the week goes to whatever "Stay the Same" by Joey McIntyre is. 

ARIA Singles Top 50 Chart Review: 4th May. The one with a whole lot of Noah's Great Divide

 Before we start this week...MAY THE FOURTH BE WITH YOU...now that that is out of the way lets dive into the week here because we did get an album bomb for "The Great Divide" by Noah Kahan however none of that affects the top ten where for a third week "Rein Me In" by Sam Fender and Olivia Dean returned to number one thanks mostly to sales.

"Man I Need" by Olivia Dean remains at number two as it lost a lot on its sales while streaming is still surprisingly holding up pretty well. 

The biggest gain in the top ten this week belonged to "Choosin' Texas" by Ella Langley which is gaining ground on both sales, streaming and surprisingly Youtube. 

Olivia Rodrigo's "drop dead" fell off the nunmber one three spots to number four thanks to major fall offs on both streaming and sales. 

"Daisies" by Justin Bieber slipped back one spot to number five because the Coachella discussion is dying off while "IloveitIloveitIloveit" by Bella Kay held firm at number six, the same going for "Dracula" by Tame Impala stalling at number seven.

"Beauty and A Beat" by Justin Bieber and Nicki Minaj tumbled three slots to number eight. while "Ordinary" by Alex Warren and "So Easy (To Fall In Love" by Olivia Dean remained where they are at nine and ten respectively.

Losers

Oh dear god, we have a mess of a week here but let's run through some of these double digit losers here (Only doing the double digit losers so to stop this from running too long). "Speed Demon" by Justin Bieber slowed down eleven places to fifty. 

"Risk it All" by Bruno Mars slumped fourteen to forty seven while  the public said pinky down to Katseye's "Pinky Up" so that fell a merciful seventeen slots to forty two. 

Drop Outs

As for the drop nuts, let's start with the established hits that should have exited months ago like "Die with a Smile" by Lady Gaga and Bruno Mars, "Vitory Lap" by Fred Again, Skepta and PlaqueBoyMax, "Sailor Song" by Gigi Perez and "Just Keep Watching" by Tate McRae.

Songs released this year that were on the way out anyway like "Swim" by BTS, 

Songs that got their momentum curtailed and I am not unhappy about it "Pop Dat Thing" by Dababy, "Freakin' Out" by Dexter & The Moon Rocks, "Be By You" by Luke Combs and "Die on this Hill" by Sienna Spiro. 

The rest including "House Tour" by Sabrina Carpenter and "Baby Steps" by Olivia Dean.

Gains and Re-Entries

I am combining the two this week because both are to do with Noah Kahan with the one big gain being "Porch Light" by Noah Kahan rising nineteen to twenty seven while "The Great Divide" by Noah Kahan returned at number twenty. 

New Entries

 So we have ten new entries this week but because nine of those come from Noah Kahan, I am going to limit myself to reviewing what made the top twenty and the best and worst in his case so "Deny Deny  Deny" at forty nine (desperately close to the best of the week), "Paid Time Off" at forty five, "Haircut" at number forty four (another great song), "Willing and Able" at number forty one, "Downfall"at number thirty four, "American Cars" parked at number thirty one and "Dashboard" at twenty nine. 

All that leaves us with three other new entries to talk about just we're not starting with Noah Kahan though...

46. "Boston" by Stella Lefty

Yeah before we get to the Noah Kahan, we have to deal with this song from an m, terican indie country singer songwriter Stella Lefkofsky who goes by the name Stella Lefty, she signed to country and Americana Atlantic Record imprint Atlantic Outpost and  is the daughter of the owner and founder of health technology conpany Tempus AI, Eric Lefkofsky which may well be the only memorable thing about Stella Lefty because this song is pretty darn well forgettable.

The problem here isn't really rhe content where its all about falling head over heels in love when you are desperately trying to stay single for the time being but I am not loving Stella Lefty's vocal delivery here which can come off as pitchy and really somewhat unpleasant to listen to, throw in the bland nothing of a melody and it just is not worth coming back to at all...NEXT!

30. "End of August" by Noah Kahan

"The Great Divide" is actually a really good but not quite great Noah Kahan album, it's an album that can absolutely feel it's run time at points however I absolutely adore this opening track where Noah Kahan explores nihilism and season depression as the seasons change and he can feel time slipping away as he anticipates the summer ending and the weather getting closer and that's met by the production as well with its gentle pianos and strings that give the song this lived in vibe. I will say I am not a massive fan of the filter over Kahan's voice but otherwise this might well be one of my favourite songs to chart to datre. Check this out.

16. "Doors" by Noah Kahan

Ending the week with the song getting the singe push from the album and yeah, I get why because this is actually not bad either, ot's a step away from stomp clap territory and closer to an indie rock sound that I actually appreciate a fair bit. The subject matter of the song is also pretty good too with Kahan exploring trauma sustained during childhood, the feeling of wanting to be loved but pushing that love away when somebody tries to give him the love he yearns for so badly. All up a pretty good song.

That completes the week and yeah, "Boston" by Stella Ledty is getting the worst of the week with "End of August" by Noah Kahan getting the best of the week. 

Next week should be pretty quiet but  we'll have to see. 

Pretty Fly (For 1999): 2nd May. Blame It on Millennium Bleeding Love Here Right Now, Lucky Me!

So we have quite the week in front of us with most of all of the new entries in the bottom half of the top fifty and the usual array of movement that we may as well get started straight away with the top ten where we have a new number one that being "No Scrubs" by TLC which moved up three slots to take the top spot, it's sales are excellent and I can see this being a stable number one for the time being. 

It held off "Why Don't You Get a Job?" by The Offspring at number two and "We Like to Party (The Vengabus)" by The Vengaboys at number three, both songs just couldn't go with "No Scrubs". 

Former number one "Baby, One More Time" by Britney Spears slipped back to number four with the bottom having fallen out of sales at this point, to the point it's going to come under pressure from the constantly yo yoing "The Animal Song" by Savage Garden which yo yoed back up one to number five, it was rnough to move past "That Don't Impress Me Much" by Shania Twain which slipped one to number six.

"Touch It" by Monifah continues to be annoyance refusing to move from number seven however it could come under pressure from the new arrival to the top ten this week courtesy of "Fly Away" by Lenny Kravitz up from thirteen to number eight.

"Until the Time is Through" by Five remains at number nine and "Anthme for the Year 2000" by Silverchair fell two slots to number ten. GG

Losers

It's all tearing down for The Living End with "All Torn Down" sliding from twenty six to forty one this week. 

Looks like the public aren't feeling "End of the Line" by Honeyz as it dipped ten to thirty five which is a shame as I really like that song still. "Lullaby" by Shawn Mullins dived from eighteen to thirty one. 

Gains

We have more big gains than losers this week beginning with "Honey to the Bee" by BIllie Piper up thirteen slots to twenty, this song is definitely catchy so I am not surprised to see this up off it's debut. 

Also up off it's debut last week is 4 the Cause with their cover of "Stand by Me" unfortunately up eight to twenty nine. 

"Last to Know" by Human Nature scored a ten place rebound to thirty two...delighted about this one while "Save Tonight" by Eagle Eyed Cherry is up eight to thirty three.

"9pm (Til I Come)" by atb gained nine slots to thirty seven this week in more pleasing news.

Really the only gain I am not thrilled about gaining is that of "Put Your Hands Up" by Black and White Brothers up eight to forty two...really, people? Come on, we can do better than this. 

New Entries

Six entries this week, beginning with...

50. "Love Lies Bleeding" by Sonic Animation

We're starting the week with an Australian dance and techno group called Sonic Animation and I'll give this song credit for actually being somewhat interesting and less repetitive with it's instrumentation and pretty solid base groove even if the lyrics are not anything to write home about, the content being about feeling ecstasy and desire  which makes sense for a song that would fit right in on the dancefloor. This song is fine enough but it's nothing I am going to come back to. 

49. "Millennium" by Robbie Williams

Time again to talk about the most successful solo member of Take That that being Robbie Williams and his new song that given we're heading to the new millennium because of course we had to have a song about it only this time Williams is taking inspiration from James Bond themes more specifically "You Only Live Twice" and satirically explores the jet set lifestyle and reflecting on the anticipation of the year 2000 within cuture and how generations going forward may lose some traditions which is actually not a bad tangent for this sort of song however I do think where the issue with this song is in how weirdly elegant the production is for a song about the future especially in the more orchestral arrangements...

Then again, it could be a case of past meeting future or something? Who knows? The song is pretty good, check it out if you are curious. 

48. "Blame It on the Weatherman" by B*Witched

Staying in the UK and we have the fourth single from B*Witched and I think I might like this better than any of their previous three singles more because yeah...this is pretty close to great with the storm sound effects, the gentle guitar and the girls harmonies on the hook. The song is about blaming the weatherman for the end of a relationship and using the horrible weather outside as justification for blaming the break up on the poor weatherman!

But yeah, I just love how this sounds and how the song builds and the vocals stacking on top of each other, this song is well worth yout time, check it out. 

46. "Right Here, Right Now" by Fatboy Slim

So we have the follow up to "Praise You" from Fatboy Slim and unfortunately I am not much of a fan of this at all, sure I get the instrumental appeal but that breathy voice going "Right here/..ight now" hits the wall of being incredibly annoying, it's somewhat lucky that the instrumentation is somewhat memorable because otherwise I'd say this is annoyingly forgettable rather than annoying and mediocre. Next!

45. "It's Our Time" by Ilanda

Yeah we're finishing with Australians this week beginning with vocal harmony and dance group Ilanda's newest song "It's Our Time" and well...this song is good old fun time with the gleaming funk keys and a pretty solid groove to match that feels reminiscent of what CDB were able to do in the mid 90s although I will say the countdown in the middle of the song is somewhat a bit unnecesaary and doesn't really fit in with the smooth vibe of the song. It's not bad overall. 

43. "Lucky Me" by Bachelor Girl

Wrapping up the week with the latest single from Bachelor Girl, a pop rock song where this woman has everything she could want in life such as a nice house, car etc but is bemoaning the lack of compassion and love within their community where people have put material things above loving other people and demonstrating care and compasion towards others (somethig that has only been deomonstrated more and more in the 2020s) and Tania Doko's vocal delivery does well to communicate how fed up she is with the dynamic at play here, in short another pretty great song that deserves your attention

That conpletes our week and wow, best and worst do not fall out easy here. I think I am going to give worst of the week to "Right Here, Right Now" by Fatboy Slim, it's the song I care least about of our new arrivals.

As for the best, it's a tight go but I am going to give it to "Lucky Me" by Bachelor Girl mostly because i think the lyrics hit hard and play well for introspection.

ARIA Top 50 Singles Chart Review: April 27th: The One Where Olivias Dominate and Bieber's Beauty Has A Renaissance

So this week was something...the re-emergenece of Justin Bieber's career post Coachella and a top three that is dominated by Olivias so let's just right into the top ten where Olivia.....Rodrigo claimed the number one spot with "drop dead", it's second new number one of 2026 (yes, the year has been utterly dominated by "Man I Need") and Olivia's fourth number one in Australia following on from "Drivers License", "Good 4 U" (both in 2021) and "Vampire" (2023)

"Man I Need" by Olivia Dean remains at number two while last week's number one "Rein Me In" by Sam Fender and Olivia Dean slipped off the top spot back to number three...I get the feeling that this song has peaked but fuck am I happy that it got two weeks at number one.

"Daisies" by Justin Bieber continued to benefit from Bieber's moment at Coachella jumping six spots to number four and we continue with Bieber because his 2012  song with Nicki Minaj "Beauty and a Beat" is back on the chart under the ARIA rules around viral songs at number five, this song is so stupid that it's hilarious...it feels like a novelty song to some degree.

The fall out of all of this is that "IloveitIloveitIloveit" by Bella Kay slumped three to number six, I am not sure about this song's future in the top ten while "Dracula" by Tame Impala slipped back two to number seven.

Also falling back two slots to number eight is "Choosin' Texas" by Ella Langley, I am mostly just shocked this song made the top ten at all!. "Ordinary" by Alex Warren slipped two slots back to number nine and finally "So Easy (To Fall in Love)" by Olivia Dean fell four to number ten.

Losers

"Swim" by BTS might be having it's last week on the chart unless something miraculous happens, it dropped another ten slots to fifty.

The only other major loser was "Pinky Up" by Katseye down six to twenty five.

Drop Outs

We saw four songs depart this week with three being sent to the On Replay singles chart with "Espresso" by Sabrina Carpenter, "A Bar Song (Tipsy)" by Shaboozey and "Just the way You are" by Milky x Mallgrab. 

The other drop out being "That's So True" by Grace Abrams.

Gains

So sadly we did see two of last week's new entries gain decently off their debuts with "Earrings" by Malcolm Todd up six to twenty eight and "Freakin' Out" by Dexter and the Moon Rocks up six to forty three.

"Just Keep Watching" by Tate McRae continues to be a pain in my buttcrack by climbing seven to forty one. 

Re-Entries

Apart from "Beauty and A Beat" by Justin Bieber and Nicki Minaj being back at number fve, "Be By You" by Luke Combs continues sto bounce on and off the charts but it's back this week at forty nine. 

New Entry

Two new entries this week, beginning with...

39. "SPEED DEMON" by Justin Bieber

So we're getting this cut from "SWAG II" and unfortunately it's not one of the better songs on that album, Bieber's vocals sound processed to hell and back and there's nothing all that impressive about what is on offer with the production here especially with a guitar line that is painfully reedy, weak and rerally doesn't sound good as Bieber croons about overcoming negativity and personal growth blah blah. Justin, the poor production and vocal performance isn't helping your case here, let's move on. 

1. "drop dead" by Olivia Rodrigo

We end the week with the number one song everyone saw coming from a mile away and likely the opening song of Olivia's upcoming album "you seem pretty sad for a girl so in love" because this is a song about having a really intense and passionate crush on somebody and the euphoria and headiness that comes with feeling that sort of infatuation with another person. It actually feels like head cannon from Olivia to some degree even though she has described the song has being about a "perfect first date" she went on.

As for the production? Well, it's a lot of warping synths, a little guitar and strings that give the song this uncanny Chappell Roan vibe that I actually like a lot and also makes sense when Dan Nigro does the production for both Olivia and Chappell and the pair have been on tour together so Olivia would probably consider somebody calling this a "Chappell Roan song" a compliment. In short, this is a good song, it's probably the best of any of the new entries we've had in the past month.

Yeah, "drop dead" by Olivia Rodrigo  is the best of the week here, it's not really a contest. Worst of the week goes to "SPEED DEMON" by Justin Bieber. 

Pretty Fly (For 1999): 25th April Protect Angel Bee of Mine and Thank 9pm

This week is going to be a long especially in terms of the new entries...there's seven of those this week however let's start with the top ten where "Baby, One More Time" by Britney Spears remains at number one but its sales are starting to slow a bit and it could find itself vulnerable. 

The challengers are beckoning too with "Why Don't You Get a Job?" by The Offspring which climbed one spot to number two, "We Like to Party (The Vengabus)" by The Vengaboys jumped three spots to number three and "No Scrubs" by TLC  which looks to have the better momentum of the three challengers as it skidattled up four spots to number four.

Of course all this could be because "That Don't Impress Me Much" by Shania Twain crashed three spots to number five and "The Animal Song" by Savage Garden down two to number sx. 

"Touch It" by Monifah remained unmoved by the chaos above it stuck at nnumber seven. "Anthem for the Year 2000" by Silverchair down thre to number eight.

What I was surprised to see was "Until the Time is Through" by Five up two into the top ten at number nine. "This Kiss" by Faith Hill slid one to number ten and thankfully looks to be done in the top ten.

Losers

So as you can imagine this week is messy so lets begin with "Heartbeat/Tragedy" by Steps which just utterly collapsed from nineteen to forty five. Former top ten hit "Jackie" by BZ and Joanne slumped from thirty to forty four.

"Last to Know" by Human Nature slipped eight to forty two while Pandora's "A Little Bit" slipped eleven to forty. 

Sadly Jennifer Love Hewitt's "How Do I Deal?" is not getting all the answers down from twenty two to thirty six. and in the loss I am surprised by,.."Changes" by 2pac lost all it's momentum to slide from number twelve to thirty five. 

"Doo Wop (That Thing)" by Lauryn Hill slumped ten slots to thirty four.

Gains

We did get some gains this week with the biggest gain of the week belonging to Eminem's "Hi! My Name Is" climing twenty spots to twenty one. "Every Morning" by Sugar Ray jumped eight to twenty three. 

Korn's "Freak On A Leash" found some more freak to gain eight spots to twenty three while The Living End are tearing up the charts with "All Torn Down" up ten to twenty six.  

New Entries

A nassuve seven new entries this week, beginning with...

50. "Put Your Hands Up" by The Black  and White Brothers

So the Black and White Brothers are an electronic duo hailing from Switzerland with this being the first snng to hit the ARIA singles chart and I'm sorry, I fucking hate this, the vocals are just nasal with nothing more than the lame "Put your hands up in the air" refrain that gets incrementally more annoying every time it is said by that neutered dog whistle of a voice over that bassline, 

We can do better than THIS! Come on..

48. "9pm (Til I Come)" by ATB

So we head to Germany for this song from DJ and producer ATB and mercifully this one doesn't hit the infernal annoyance the previous song does by actually having a dang solid guitar loop that winds up pretty catchy and the female vocals actually fit the song nicely, throw in the bassline and the song is actually pretty dang good for what is an electronic song with not much in the way of lyrics. 

Yeah, check this out, this is pretty good. 

37. "Stand by Me" by 4 the Cause

So we go from dance to r'n'b with 4 The Caause, an Illinois group that later moved to Germany and well this is exactly what you are thinking this is...a cover of Ben E. King's "Stand by Me" amd well. this is something of a mess, the hook is singing with other members repeating by rapping which hits the right point of being annoying and taking the emotion out of the song that King so carefully crafted, it sounds like a Glee performance...oh wait...Glee did this song somewhat better.  This is obnoxious...next!

33. "Honey to the Bee" by Billie Piper

Stepping back into the UK pop scene with this new song from Billie Piper who is actually involved with the next two new entries however "Honey to the Bee" is the latest single from Piper's album entitiled "Honey to the B" and you know what" If there's anything to be said about this song is that Billie does have some pipes, she sounds better on this song than she did on "Because I Want To" (that song is still incredibly obnoxious) but especially on softer songs like this one she sounds really good.

Also this song overall this song is a pretty damn good pop song even if the chorus doesn't quite pop in the way the bridge build suggest its going to and it helps that Piper is a commanding presence. The content is your standard pining love song where she's trying to convince this guy that he is meant for her that she's his honey to his bee. It's cute. Don't mind this overall. 

29. "Thank ABBA For The Music" by Steps, Tina Cousins, Cleopatra, B*Witched and Billie Piper

So this is a strange one, a bunch of established artists and groups like Steps, Tina Cousins and Cleopatra got together at rhe Brit Awards in February to perform a medley of ABBA songs beginning with "Take a Chance on Me", "Dancing Queen", "Mamma Mia" and "Thank You for the Music", now I will say they did stick wth melodies and there were no hackneyed changes apart from changing "you" to "ABBA" in "Tbank You for the Music".

However the issue with this song is the balance here, eleven women to two guys (Lee and H from Steps) and the lack of baritone that the guys could have provided is missing in the medley here. Don't get me wrong, the ladies all sound amazing and the harmonies on point. It's fine enough...nice tribute that just misses in one spot.

28. "Angel of Mine" by Monica

Swinging back to R'n'B with this song from Monica which was recorded by Eternal in 1997 and then re recorded by Monica for her second album "The Boy is Mine" and really, there's not much to say about this song. it's a pretty standard love song where Monica has found her soulmate and describes that meeting that soul mate ande' that instant pyrrhic feeling of an instant connection with that someone special over piano anf strings. Its sweet and cloying but I am not going to remember this song long term. 

27. "Protect Your Mind (Braveheart)" by DJ Sakin & Friends

We're ending the week with a song from a Turkish-German trance project DJ Sakin and friends. It's pretty much a love song that's centre focussed onsomeone who has found their "Braveheart", a warrior, who is willing able to fight for love, truth and justice and that this guy is her one true brave heart but I will say that I do like this form of trance where it blends in instrumentation from other countries like the Scotland's bagpipes and a bit of pan flute to make the song sound really evocative and majestic, it sounds almost unique!. Nice song, check it out if you are curious. 

That was our week, a long one but the worst of the week falls out easily...whatever the hell "Put Your Hands Up" by The Black and White Brothers was. I have no desire to hear that song again.

best of the week is a little harder but I am going to give it to ATB for "9pm (Til I Come)"

Top Ten Worst HIt Songs of 1994

 So in past years, I haven't had trouble putting together this list, most of the really bad stuff can be separated out quickly and dealt with as per 1992, 1996 and 2000 but this year...I had to work hard to figure out ten songs that I could even justify putting on a list of the worst hits of 1994...it's that kind of year but I did get there eventually and most of this list is just really saccharine and sappy music in pop and rock or the song just missed the mark.

A reminder of the rules, the songs must have either debuted on the 1994 ARIA singles year end chart or landed higher on the 1994 year end than they did in 1993. "Zombie" by The Cranberries is being left to 1995 as it is higher on the 1995 year end list than it is on the 1994 year end, also a song can't make this list if it's just boring...there has to be something actually wrong with the song, 

So with all that in mind, let's get this show on the road, starting with...

Number Ten

Look...I tried...but when a song as saccharine and as tepid as this is the biggest song of the year in a year as good as this one for the charts...we got a problem...

"Lovr Is All Around' by Wet Wet Wet

This cover of The Troggs song was for the movie "Four Weddings and a Funeral" and lyrically it is just the worst kind of pop music cheese in that it's not tasty or fresh but its out of date and there are visible signs of mold  starting to spread through the cheese, he feels love in his fingers and toes and from there the feeling only grows only for him to realize that she isn't really recoprocating so he throws himself at her and begs her to let her love for him show. It's this weepy, insincere song that may as well be a simp anthem for the ages, I cannot stand it. 

Number Nine

Moving away slightly from simp anthem territory but remaining completely drippy and overly saccharine....

"I Swear" by All-4-One.

Again another song toward the top of the year end chart that slipped into dippity doo, saccharine nonsense, this time a cover of John Michael Montgomery's 1993 country hit song of the same name and while the original is fine enough, John Michael has a sincerity that makes the song work however this pop cover from All-4-One has all the sincerity of a politician making a promise that they KNOW they are 100% going to break because they cannot stick by the promise...swearing by the moon and the stars in the sky is ridiculous and it sounds all completely fake insincere from the vocals. Blergh. Let's move on

Number Eight

At this point, Peter Frampton should declare a moratorium on people covering this song because nobody can cover it and do it well. 

"Baby, I Love Your Way" by Big Mountain

I am sick to death of people covering this song and wind up making a bigger mess of it than Donald Trump trying to do foreign policy, this time we got the reggae version of the song which still takes out the sisncerity of the original and replaces it with this weirdly hollow sounding song that makes me wonder if they missed the love and sincerity in the Frampton original like that god awful late 80s cover did where it was all oversold annoyance. Ugh. There was no need for this cover, Peter Frampton, I am so truly sorry. 

Number Seven

I am going to keep this one brief because just like the covers of "Baby, I Love Your Way"...there was no need for this...

"The Power of Love" by Beverly

We got two different versions of Jennifer Rush's 1985 hit "The Power of Love" and I would argue that Celine Dion made the definitive cover of this song to the point we didn't need this screechy dancefloor ready cacophony complete with gang vocals and Beverly singing "I am your lady and you are my man" with all the passion of somebody farting post dinner courtesy of being bloated, it just sounds completely insincere and awful especially when you compare it to the original. Next!

Number Six

Doing this to a great song should be sacrilege...

"Twist and Shout" by Chaka Demus feat. Pliers and Jack Radix

I absolutely adore The Beatles cover of "Twist and Shout", a song that was originally recorded in 1961 by The Top Notes, and for Chaka Demus, Pliers and Jack Radix to grab up chunks of that song for this reggae infused nightmare where it uses to "Twist and Shout" as part of a song goading a girl into having sex with him and it's gross as hell, it's the sort of song that leaves a foul taste that lingers long after the song finishes and I want no part of it. Gross.

Number Five

With this next song, I will attempt answer the titular question and explain in no uncertain terms but why we cannot talk until the song quality improves.

"Can We Talk?" by Tevin Campbell

My answer to the titular question of is no...of course...not when Tevin Campbell sounds like a whiny spoilt brat who is upset that his first crush just rejected him for a dance at the primary school disco, he sounds pathetically prepubescent when he attempts to sing or rather begs for this girl to let him talk himself into her pants which brings me to the production which sounds dated back to the late eighties or possibly early nineties because let's face it...1990 and 1991 were still furiously trying to pretend they were still in the 80s, it's a slog of a song that deserves to be forgotten so let's move on.

Number Four

For a collab featuring three of the biggest names in rock, I am truly baffled by this song and how anyone thought this song was even worthy of release. 

"All For Love" by Bryan Adams, Sting and Rod Stewart

For all the star power on this song and especially the run Bryan Adams was on wth hits in the early 90s I am baffled at how NOBODY connected to this song for the film "The Three Musketeers" couldn't think to make something that didn't sound so incredibly cheap and none of them appear to be able to harmonise especially when they all shout "ALL FOR LOVE!" amd the lyrics are just the same corny love song lyrics that just make me groan especially when they try to turn the Musketeers phrase "All for one and one for all" into their bastion of love. I have no desire to hear this song again. Blergh.

Number Three

Then again as far as bad love songs go...there's worse...like this.

"Always" by Bon Jovi

There's something about this song that feels so overly dramatic to the point that the drama feels so unearned it's almost to the point that it makes me laugh especially when the song opens up with those dramatic piano chords and Jon Bon Jovi whispering "This Romeo was bleedin' but you can't see his blood"...uh Jon, that's internal bleeding you might want to go and see a doctor for that one, he then goes on to sing that he is a fighter but wthout this girl by his side, he gives up then you aren't really a fighter, Jon...just somebody parading around like he is a prized cock but then does the whole "I can't go on" when shit gets serious. 

As if all of that is not bad enough, we get to the hook of this comedic shamozzle described as a rock song where Bon Jovi goes into full on horny yowling cat mode with "AAAANNNNDDDDD IIIIIIIIII will love you,...baby...FOR ALLLLLWAAYYYYS".

The bad lyrics just keep rolling in here, it's never ending with this song like on the bridge where he sings if she told him to cry and die for her, he would. It's just over sold nonsense and he is painting her as controlling as hell. Save this song for where it belongs which is Home and Away...not on the charts.

Number Two

Ahh so Mr Adams, we meet again *cracking knuckles intensifies*....

"Please Forgive Me" by Bryan Adams

This song is just one of those songs where again the song doesn't earn it's dramatic pathos especially if she heard "Have Ever Really Loved a Woman" and noped right out of there or that Bryan Adams is referencing the first time he and this woman hooked up in the fucking first line of the song and goes to describe their relationship as only getting better and how he is so impossibly in love with this girl which leads me to ask what he is asking for forgiveness from this girl for? Did he force himself on her or something because he is in love with this song? That question is something I wondered because the song is so incredibly boring and Adams is just reminiscing and pontificating on their first kiss and having sex for the first time. 

"Can't Stop This Thing We Started" and "A Night to Remember" are both far far better than this boring ass overtly dramatic nonsense.

Number One

It wasn't going to be anything else, this song is  profound in it's absence of anything good and hence..

"Said I Loved You...But I Lied" by Michael Bolton

I didn't want to do this, I didn't want to put a song by an artist who toward the backend of his chart making career was the butt of a lot of school yard jokes in the mid nineties from kids who thought Michael Bolton's music was for their grandparents but "Said I Loved You but I Lied" was reprehensible rght from the god damn jumping, everything about this song is wrong, starting with the insincere vocal performance from Michael Bolton and the weirdly gooey production that feels you feeling sick in the pit of the stomache to the point it makes you want to wretch over the toilet bowl especially when Bolton is comparing love to candles where love is a flame that doesn't go out in wind or rain.

This song just feels gross to even listen to, every time I hear it, I want to go jump into a tub of disinfectant and hope the ache in my tummy goes the hell away. 

It's the worst hit song of 1994 and I'm not lying about it.

ARIA Singles Top 50 Chart Review: April 20th. The one where the new entries are a cavalcade of...something...

 So the battle for the number one spot continued this week and it's about to become a three way go with the arrival of "drop dead" by Olivia Rodrigo next week and just glancing at this week's new entries...we are in for a trainwreck of a week in that regard but let's get back to the top ten where "Rein Me" by Sam Fender and Olivia Dean returned to number one basically on the margins in terms of sales and a little streaming. 

It sent "Man I Need" by Olivia Dean back to number two, it still remains a threat for the top spot but a lot is going to depend on those streaming margins against "drop dead".

All of this leaves "IloveitIloveitIloveit" by Bella Kay in a strange post as it almost feels like this song has peaked in some way given it's not makng gains on streaming anymore. 

What was surprisingly was that "Choosin' Texas" by Ella Langley did not make the ground I thought it would, the album boost really only helped this song maintain its postion. 

Speaking holding position that is the case for "Dracula" by Tame Impala at number five. "So Easy (Too Fall in Love" by Olivia Dean at number six, "Ordinary" by Alex Warren stubbornly clinging on at number seven and "Stateside" by Pink Pantheress and Zara Larsson at number eight.

Raye's "Where is My Husband" rebounded to number nine while thanks to Coachella performance and subsequent discourse "Daisies" by Justin Bieber climbed twenty six spots to number ten. 

Losers

"Sailor Song" by Gigi Perez fell nine spots to number forty seven while "Just Keep Watching" by Tate McRae turned off seven spots to forty eight.  

Olivia Dean's "Baby Steps" slipped nine to forty one while "Swim" by BTS continues to struggle to remain afloat on the chart down eleven to forty.

Drop Outs

So we have a slew of drop outs this week, let's begin with the long running songs like "APT" by Rose and Bruno Mars, "Pink Skies" by Zach Bryan and "Carry You Home" by Alex Warren.

Then there's country singles like "Be By You" by Luke Combs and "Weren't for the Wind" by Ella Langley. 

Then there's the songs that really didn't quite get going like "I Run" by HVN and Kaitlyn Aragon and "Aperture" by Harry Styles. 

Finally there's "Father" by Kanye West and Andre Troutman which will be mothballed and forgotten. 

Gains

So outside of that massive gain for "Daisies" by Justin Bieber, there was only one other major gain this week with "Manchild" by Sabrina Carpenter rising nine places to twenty six.

Re-Entries

Three new entries this beginning with "Porch Light" by Noah Kahan is back at fifty (I'd expect this to get a bigger boost with the album being released this Friday).

"House Tour" by Sabrina Carpenter is back at number forty three because of a combination of Coachella and likely because it got a video.

"Yukon" by Justin Bieber also returned at twenty three due to Coachella and the subsequent discourse around his performance.

New Entries

Five new entries this week...let's just get this over with because this is gonna fucking suck..

49. "Freakin' Out" by Dexter and the Moon Rocks

Wow, so this is a weird one this week, Desternd the Moon Rocks are a country rock act hailing from Texas, USA, yet this song in particular feels more like a weaker grunge song that could have come out in 1994/95 only this feels like a cheap Soundgarden rip off, its okay in terms of the lyrics and it might well be one of the better songs new this week.

As for the content of the song, it really doesn't dig deeper than surface level of being alone and wanting somebody to come warm them up and not freak out. Its fine but that's all it will be at best. 

46. "Pop Dat Thing" by DaBaby

Oh I see the Da Baby redemption arc has well and truly begun in the US so Australia just had to get in on the redemption arc train which gives us this pile of nonsense which amounts to DaBaby begging this girl to "Pop Dat Thing" with the thing DaBaby is referencing being his god damn dick, he isn't being shy about what he wants this girl to do which involves a combination of sitting in his lap and eventually blowing and sucking on his 'D'

Throw in the god awful canned production complete with a tinny voice going "Pop Dat Thing" and you have one of the most disposable and utterly useless rap songs of 2026...NEXT!

34. "Earrings" by Malcolm Todd

It's never a good sign when the artist involved is signed to a recording deal on basis of going viral on Tik Tok which is the story of American musician and singer/songwriter Malcolm Todd and with this being his first single to hit the ARIA singles chart I was wary especially as I had heard this song wasn't particularly good and in a week like this one...I was hoping that the horror stories weren't true and so how was it?

Uh yeah, the horror stories checked out because this is the rancid sort of song that sets the industry back twenty years because dear god what even is that arse backward production that doesn't allow anything including Todd's vocals to breathe? Or how the song is just a bunch of choruses and refrains about how earrings got lost in some girl's bed.and Todd is accusing him of being scared to tell this girl that he lost the lyrics because he isn't talking to her before finishing the "song" with "I hope you like my mixtape".

I hope this song dies a very fast death on the charts because this sucks royally/

33.  "Be Her" by Ella Langley

Of all the new songs from "Dandelion", Australia had to go and pick the worst song of the bunch to chart...yeah, I said it, this is the worst song from that album and I am absolutely stunned that it was picked to be a single because threads like a song that GirlDefined would love for what it preaches within the lyrics of the song, its basically "Dear Future Husband" except in this czse this woman has found herself a husband and is now aspiring to be the ultimate Christian tradwife who cooks, cleans, takes care of the kids and wirships Jesus just like 'her'. It's just got this icky overtly conservative vibe that makes milk curdle in my intestines every time I hear it.  I hope this doesn't stick around.

19. "Pinky Up" by Katseye

My last hope for something that might be good...oh wait, it's new song from Katseye, the female group version of Onision releasing pop atrocities and yeah, this one is no different... this is a disaster of obnoxious production that's all centred around the hook that got no chance of actually being a thing..."Pinky Up" (Talk about trying to make fetch happen). I won't say it's worse than a previous single of theirs but it's definitely the sort of song that makes your ears lose hope that they may not hear good music ever again.

That winds up our week...I am nixing best of the week this week...NONE of this crap deserves the title of "best" at all so instead I am giving out a tie for worst of the week which is going to "Pinky Up" by Katseye, "Earring" by Malcolm Todd and "Be Her" by Ella Langley...yeah a three way tie for worst...that's how bad this week was. 

At least next week brings Olivia Rodrigo...it's only up from here...we can hope.