"I'm Good (Blue)" by David Guetta and Bebe Rexha
Oh good lord, I guess it makes sense that these two would jump on a sample of Eiffel 65's 2000 hit "Blue (Da Ba Dee)" like everybody LAST YEAR was doing out of sheer desperation for a hit so this really is trend chasing except it shows that Guetta is out of ideas and this trend was played out last fucking year, Bebe Rexha sounds nasal and for somebody claiming she's good...she sounds miserable. One of the worst songs of the year!
"Hold Me Closer" by Elton John and Britney Spears
This is exactly why we should not have allowed "Cold Heart" to become a massive hit last year because it gaves Elton John a convenient to mash more of his back catalogue together into a greasy sounding homogeneous clusterfuck this time using "Don't Go Breaking Heart", "The One" and "Tiny Dancer" and like "Cold Heart", it saps both Elton and Britney of their personalities while destroying two absolute classics. Elton, please stop this!
"Something In the Orange" by Zach Bryan
Uhh... what the hell? Oklahoma singer songwriter and independent country artist Zach Bryan makes a surprise but very welcome debut on the ARIA singles chart with this song from his album this year "American Heartbreak" and yeah, I love this! It's a dark, broody song about the end of a relationship and my goodness, it makes use of negative space and and atmosphere to create the dark and haunting atmosphere, I cannot believe this charted but I am so happy it did.
"New Gold" by Gorillaz, Tame Impala and Bootie Brown
Oh so here's another surprise...only unfortunately this is nowhere as good as I was hoping with those annoying beeps that sound like some emergency is about to happen before more electronics hit Kevin Parker 's hook, it just doesn't sound good or come together that well...next!
"2 Be Loved (Am I ready)" by Lizzo
Well, it's fairly clear the 80s called because song sounds like something that would fit on a Jane Fonda workout tape, it's a song where Lizzo is asking herself if she's ready to be loved however this just doesn't work for me due to how oddly stiff and cheap the song sounds, there's just no nervous tension to the production which you would think a song like this would need.
"Beautiful Crazy" by Luke Combs
I kind of suspected that in the wake of "The Kind of Love We Make" becoming a surprise hit this year that we were going to get older Luke Combs songs and well...the production is pretty with fiddle playing off a guitar but my problem is with the content about how this girl is beautiful but she's crazy yet there's nothing in the song that make me believe she's crazy...yeah she makes plans and changes her mind...that ain't crazy, Luke!
"When It Rains, It Pours" by Luke Combs
Second Luke Combs song and well, okay, it's a genuine country song with a gentle guitar rollick and drum machines but again the problem here is the lyrics where this girl leaves him and now he is having all this good luck and is using his good fortune to be sour towards this girl and her mother and that kind of thing just puts me off the song.
"Forget Me" by Lewis Capaldi
The dreaded return of Lewis Capaldi and you know this not bad? Yeah the lyrics are still sour and again Capaldi sounds like he has no real idea of his vocal range or he has been violently kicked in the scrotum on the hook however I really like the melody courtesy of that piano so yeah, I don't mind this.
"Bound 2" by Kanye West
No...just no...
"Hotel" by Montell Fish
Okay, Christian artist Montell Fish had his break through on Tik Tok hence landing on the singles chart and...well, I don't hear the appeal at all, fuzzed out guitar because the song drops so we can hear Fish doing his best crooning The Weeknd impression which really did nothing for so let's just move on...
"Billie Eilish" by Armani White
Okay, this is blatant clickbait, using Billie Eilish's name just to get attention for your clunky trap song that's all about flexing and gun play, the only thing saving this is the fact that White has some charisma and energy compared to many in his genre but that won't make me come back to this.
"Shut Down" by Blackpink
So this was the only song from that Blackpink album apart from "Pink Venom" to chart and this is not one of the better songs from that album with the squealing instrumentation that would cause dogs to run off bridges and the girls are trying so hard to be aggressive and 'shut down' those who do them wrong, it's kind of adorable but otherwise it sounds like a R ihanna 2015 reject.
Worst: "I'm Good (Blue)" by David Guetta and Bebe Rexha
Dishonourable mention: "Hold Me Closer" by Elton John and Britney Spears
Honourable Mention: "Forget Me " by Lewis Capaldi
Best of the Week: "Something In the Orange" by Zach Bryan
