Let's get to those songs that have been forgettable rather than outright bad.
Dishonourable Mentions
"Issues" by Julia Michaels | Peak: 5
Largely due to this song just purely being a hit for the hook and the chorus but other than a decent hook and chorus there is really nothing to this song about a relationship hitting crisis point, it just lacks emotional depth and the instrumentation is nothing special.
"Play That Song" by Train | Peak: 8
Somehow this song wound up as a top ten hit and I have no idea why. The lyrics are god damn AWFUL "Play that song the one that makes me go all night long". What the hell? Music is not designed to be some bizarre form of increasing a woman's sexual performance in the sack.
"Despacito Remix" by Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee featuring Justin Bieber | Peak: 1
It being unnecessary doesn't make this a bad song per se so I couldn't bring myself to put this in the top 10 worst songs of the year so far, the original was going to be a hit around the world regardless and the recent behaviour of Justin Bieber by refusing to learn the words to the song show just how blatantly unnecessary the remix is. I'll take the original ANY DAY over this remix.
"Now or Never" by Halsey | Peak: 16
The lady who thinks she is alternative but continues to write blatantly awful pop songs as "Now or Never" demonstrates. The production and lyrics are sloppy and boring. Halsey attempts to be sexy and she doesn't pull it off at all. This isn't as bad as "New Americana" but geez, Halsey can stop pretending she's an alternative artist cause she is anything but.
Rightio so that's the mediocre at the midway point of 2017, now for the absolute worst of 2017 so far.
10. "I'm The One" by DJ Khaled featuring Justin Bieber, Chance the Rapper, Quavo and Lil Wayne | Peak: 1
So you would think there would be a real swagger in a song about being the one guy for any woman but truth be told none of the artists involved with this song deliver much swagger apart from maybe Chance the Rapper. Bieber's vocals are passable but he really doesn't deliver that passion or that edge that would hook me into a song that supposed to be about being number 1. Lil Wayne steers the song way off course with references to Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown's relationship which was abusive and toxic!. All in all, its just not a good song at all. Saved from being higher up because there's far worse ahead.
9. "Heavy" by Linkin Park and Kiiara | Peak: 33
I was really looking forward to seeing what Linkin Park were going to do and how they would change things up while keep their sound...until they veered way too far in the direction of pop which okay given pop/EDM/dance are kind of the big trends at the moment, maybe it's not the worst move but is "Heavy" really the best result of that new sound from Linkin Park. A bland,somewhat forgettable song that I really haven't been in a hurry to hear again. Ugh.
8. "Everyday" by Ariana Grande feat. Future | Peak: 96
Yeah, this song makes this list purely for that shit chorus which is basically Ariana repeating "He give it to me" and Future repeating one word "Everyday", there used to be a time when choruses would have some depth or point to them but clearly judging by this, there's no need. There's just nothing to this song lyrically and the production is absolutely TERRIBLE, Ariana's vocals don't save it.
7. "Bad and Boujee" by Lil Uzi Vert feat. Migos. | Peak: 34
This song is why on occasion the ARIA Chart is better than the Billboard Hot 100, this lazy garbage inspired from a meme only peaked at number 34 on the ARIA chart but somehow it got to number 1 on the Hot 100, USA, what were you thinking?. Lil Uzi Vert can't stay on the beat to save himself here and most of Migos contribution is purely shallow bragging. Can we pretend this song NEVER happened?
6. "Mo Bounce" by Iggy Azalea | Peak: 63
Well we can be grateful for small mercies, this song got the short shrift it deserved chart wise, it seems people are sick of the big arse anthems. Any song that has to repeat the title over 100 times is not worth my time to listen to it. Says as much I can't get through the video without laughing. Seriously, Iggy, come back when you have something remotely interesting to say.
5. "Still Got Time" by Zayn feat. PARTYNEXTDOOR | Peak: 20
2017 has so far been the year of Drake and unfortunately the forgettable "I wanna be like Drake club" and at the top of that list is Zayn Malik's effort in teaming up with PARTYNEXTDOOR for this drone called "Still Got Time" which I think is an absolute waste of Zayn's talent as a vocalist, he can do so much better than this mess of a song and probably the fact that he disappointed with this song is the reason it's up so high on this list.
4. "Cold" by Maroon 5 feat. Future | Peak: 27
A sterile song with not a lot to say really, it's more about Adam Levine as a solo artist now than about Maroon 5 as a band but honestly this song lacks any killer punch or any reason for it to stay inside your head so yeah fair to say I am really very cold on this song and I don't see myself warming to it any time soon.
3. "Kissing Strangers" by DNCE feat. Nicki Minaj | Peak 96
The reason this abomination is here is not because of the production which is actually pretty catchy and does get stuck in your head but do we really need a song advocating kissing random people until finding somebody they love. You'd hope DNCE understand that sharing a bond or connection with somebody special is also apart of being in love not just kissing.
2, "Bon Appetit" by Katy Perry feat. Migos. | Peak: 35
This song has got to be one of the stupidest and most ill concieved pop songs to appear on the charts in ages. It basically uses all manner of food double entendres as Katy Perry sings about smelling seduction, "fresh out of the oven" and "spread at the buffet". Really? Food double entendres as a method of singing about sex become boring and stupid back when Justin Timberlake made a song using them and no giving Migos a third of a verse each does nothing to improve the song. That said given the lack of single friendly songs on "Witness", kind of not surprised they released this mess.
"Bon Appetit" is bad but wasn't bad enough to claim number 1, so what could possibly be so bad to top it?
1. "Body like a Back Road" by Sam Hunt | Peak: 48 (It's still climbing the Australian charts too)
This thinly disguised excuse of a 'country' song (it's barely country) sees Sam Hunt claim he has explored his partner's body so much he knows her body as well as he knows a road riddled with cracks, pot holes and generally is in a state of disrepair. WTF? Fair to say if he ever did that to me, he'd be shown the door pretty damn quick.
Everything to be said about how utterly redundant and stupid this song is is in the line "Imma take it slow just as fast as I can"? It makes Pat Monahan from Train look like a lyrical genius and I outlined how bad lyrically "Play that Song" is.
Gah. Please don't let this song stick around. 48 and out of the top 50 next week, Please, Australia?
Anyway, we'll flip over the coin and look my best hit songs of this year so far plus the ARIA top 10 for this week as there have been some big moves on that front.
"Despacito Remix" by Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee featuring Justin Bieber | Peak: 1
It being unnecessary doesn't make this a bad song per se so I couldn't bring myself to put this in the top 10 worst songs of the year so far, the original was going to be a hit around the world regardless and the recent behaviour of Justin Bieber by refusing to learn the words to the song show just how blatantly unnecessary the remix is. I'll take the original ANY DAY over this remix.
"Now or Never" by Halsey | Peak: 16
The lady who thinks she is alternative but continues to write blatantly awful pop songs as "Now or Never" demonstrates. The production and lyrics are sloppy and boring. Halsey attempts to be sexy and she doesn't pull it off at all. This isn't as bad as "New Americana" but geez, Halsey can stop pretending she's an alternative artist cause she is anything but.
Rightio so that's the mediocre at the midway point of 2017, now for the absolute worst of 2017 so far.
10. "I'm The One" by DJ Khaled featuring Justin Bieber, Chance the Rapper, Quavo and Lil Wayne | Peak: 1
So you would think there would be a real swagger in a song about being the one guy for any woman but truth be told none of the artists involved with this song deliver much swagger apart from maybe Chance the Rapper. Bieber's vocals are passable but he really doesn't deliver that passion or that edge that would hook me into a song that supposed to be about being number 1. Lil Wayne steers the song way off course with references to Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown's relationship which was abusive and toxic!. All in all, its just not a good song at all. Saved from being higher up because there's far worse ahead.
9. "Heavy" by Linkin Park and Kiiara | Peak: 33
I was really looking forward to seeing what Linkin Park were going to do and how they would change things up while keep their sound...until they veered way too far in the direction of pop which okay given pop/EDM/dance are kind of the big trends at the moment, maybe it's not the worst move but is "Heavy" really the best result of that new sound from Linkin Park. A bland,somewhat forgettable song that I really haven't been in a hurry to hear again. Ugh.
8. "Everyday" by Ariana Grande feat. Future | Peak: 96
Yeah, this song makes this list purely for that shit chorus which is basically Ariana repeating "He give it to me" and Future repeating one word "Everyday", there used to be a time when choruses would have some depth or point to them but clearly judging by this, there's no need. There's just nothing to this song lyrically and the production is absolutely TERRIBLE, Ariana's vocals don't save it.
7. "Bad and Boujee" by Lil Uzi Vert feat. Migos. | Peak: 34
This song is why on occasion the ARIA Chart is better than the Billboard Hot 100, this lazy garbage inspired from a meme only peaked at number 34 on the ARIA chart but somehow it got to number 1 on the Hot 100, USA, what were you thinking?. Lil Uzi Vert can't stay on the beat to save himself here and most of Migos contribution is purely shallow bragging. Can we pretend this song NEVER happened?
6. "Mo Bounce" by Iggy Azalea | Peak: 63
Well we can be grateful for small mercies, this song got the short shrift it deserved chart wise, it seems people are sick of the big arse anthems. Any song that has to repeat the title over 100 times is not worth my time to listen to it. Says as much I can't get through the video without laughing. Seriously, Iggy, come back when you have something remotely interesting to say.
5. "Still Got Time" by Zayn feat. PARTYNEXTDOOR | Peak: 20
2017 has so far been the year of Drake and unfortunately the forgettable "I wanna be like Drake club" and at the top of that list is Zayn Malik's effort in teaming up with PARTYNEXTDOOR for this drone called "Still Got Time" which I think is an absolute waste of Zayn's talent as a vocalist, he can do so much better than this mess of a song and probably the fact that he disappointed with this song is the reason it's up so high on this list.
4. "Cold" by Maroon 5 feat. Future | Peak: 27
A sterile song with not a lot to say really, it's more about Adam Levine as a solo artist now than about Maroon 5 as a band but honestly this song lacks any killer punch or any reason for it to stay inside your head so yeah fair to say I am really very cold on this song and I don't see myself warming to it any time soon.
3. "Kissing Strangers" by DNCE feat. Nicki Minaj | Peak 96
The reason this abomination is here is not because of the production which is actually pretty catchy and does get stuck in your head but do we really need a song advocating kissing random people until finding somebody they love. You'd hope DNCE understand that sharing a bond or connection with somebody special is also apart of being in love not just kissing.
2, "Bon Appetit" by Katy Perry feat. Migos. | Peak: 35
This song has got to be one of the stupidest and most ill concieved pop songs to appear on the charts in ages. It basically uses all manner of food double entendres as Katy Perry sings about smelling seduction, "fresh out of the oven" and "spread at the buffet". Really? Food double entendres as a method of singing about sex become boring and stupid back when Justin Timberlake made a song using them and no giving Migos a third of a verse each does nothing to improve the song. That said given the lack of single friendly songs on "Witness", kind of not surprised they released this mess.
"Bon Appetit" is bad but wasn't bad enough to claim number 1, so what could possibly be so bad to top it?
1. "Body like a Back Road" by Sam Hunt | Peak: 48 (It's still climbing the Australian charts too)
This thinly disguised excuse of a 'country' song (it's barely country) sees Sam Hunt claim he has explored his partner's body so much he knows her body as well as he knows a road riddled with cracks, pot holes and generally is in a state of disrepair. WTF? Fair to say if he ever did that to me, he'd be shown the door pretty damn quick.
Everything to be said about how utterly redundant and stupid this song is is in the line "Imma take it slow just as fast as I can"? It makes Pat Monahan from Train look like a lyrical genius and I outlined how bad lyrically "Play that Song" is.
Gah. Please don't let this song stick around. 48 and out of the top 50 next week, Please, Australia?
Anyway, we'll flip over the coin and look my best hit songs of this year so far plus the ARIA top 10 for this week as there have been some big moves on that front.
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