Top Ten Worst Hit Songs of 2022

*Sigh*. I guess we have to deal with the worst popular music of 2022 but honestly when the year was a slow one for the ARIA singles chart, there shouldn't be that much to be mad at, right? Weelll no, the charts were slow because the world was out of lockdown and suddenly, people had more to do than just listen to new pop music hence unlike 2020, in 2022, the popular music really didn't matter that much. 

However what epitomises the worst music of 2022 is the laziness that was on display. Seriously...there were songs this year that didn't bother to recontextualise the sample or just dove into chasing trends from the last two years! 

A reminder that a song can only make this list if it debuted on the year end list for 2022 or charted higher than it did when it previously charted. 

So now that's clear, let's dive in and get this autopsy on 2022's musical garbage over with, starting with...

Number Ten

2022 was a disappointment for this guy,  his album wasn't good and there were genuine concerns over where his next hit was coming, well, he got that hit but did it have to be this?

"I Like You (A Happier Song)" by Post Malone feat. Doja Cat

So here's the thing, I actually don't mind the actual  music here, it's bouncy and really catchy but what does sink this song is the lyrics... Post Malone says he is pulling this girl like he is pulling a hammy which just sounds painful or on the hook where he says that they went over to France and woke up in Japan...what the....? The worst part is that Post Malone sounds like he doesn't want to be there, he sounds really bored.

Then there's Doja Cat whose verse really just misreads the intention of the song and complains her partner got her on a leash? Ugh...this song was only released by a desperate label looking for a hit...somehow I suspect both artists involved wouldn't have minded the miss.

Number Nine

2000s nostalgia is currently doing the rounds and some of it honestly is really good but on occasions, you get this...

"Do It To It" by Acraze feat. Cherish 

This song has honestly grated on my nerves all 2022 and is up there in terms of being annoying as bat shit (only barely saved by the offence to the eardrums that is " Music for a Sushi Restaurant" by Harry Styles for the most annoying song of the year)...but none the less this takes a 2006 song by r'n'b Cherish and removes any kind of personality or groove to make a pale facsimile of a song complete with production stiffer than grandad's legs. 

Also once you've heard the hook, there's really not much else to this wholly unimpressive and really generic dance song. Time to move on.

Number Eight

Look, he made worse music than this in 2022 which we'll get to if his current song on the charts makes the 2023 year end but this was from the first album he released last year and well..

"Jimmy Cooks" by Drake feat. 21 Savage

Let's rip the bandaid off and say the quiet part loud... Drake is coasting and has done since 2018, this has been evident in the music he has been making in that it's low quality junk that requires so very little effort because he knows that name recognition alone will get some of the effuse he calls music to chart highly, take "Jimmy Cooks" for example which hinted at the junk that was to come from both Drake and 21 Savage over beats that aren't anything interesting or do much that's exciting hence its monotonous.

Oh and Drake seems to lack any kind of self awareness when complaining about others being fake. Hey Drake, you are being fake yourself when you put on the phony accents. We can hope for better from both acts but I wouldn't be counting on it given coast mode is on...

Number Seven

Let's deal with a easy target here...

"abcdefu" by GAYLE

This song wore out my last nerve in 2022...blame the radio airplay for it but my God, the reason this song wound up here it sounds like somebody having a major tantrum... if your hook is "abcdefu your mum and your dad" than I have to start questioning you emotional intelligence to be in a relationship if that's the sour and immature way you are going to act, maybe be better and be adult about things, rise above the shitty boyfriend. 

This song would spark Leah Kate to release "Twinkle Twinkle Little Bitch" which thankfully didn't chart but can we do away with nursery rhymes being used in bad pop songs. I will say Gayle has better songs sh released on her EPs last year but seems like she might be set to be a one hit wonder.

Number Six

Remember the days when One Republic were good? Yeah...be nice if we could delete junk like this...

"I Ain't Worried" by OneRepublic

I really don't know what to say about this except OneRepublic have wasted their potential and have turned into massive disappointment over the last couple of years, take this song from the latest Top Gun movie which is horrendously produced where the guitars sound whiny and have about as much depth as a kids wading pool. Throw in lyrics that are pretty much AJR core where Ryan Tedder admits there are issues but he ain't worried about them right now because he has to keep dreams to keep alive other than the more important matters that he should be worried about which either makes Tedder selfish or stupid...who knows but it does make this song a wretched sidelight as a result

Number Five

Feel like this song was telegraphed to be on this list when I first reviewed it but hey, there's no reason for hacks like this to chart...

"Doja" by Central Cee

I could just state that the opening line of this garbage qualifies this song for this list alone plus I doubt Doja Cat likes being name associated with this, top it off with a good dose of lazy word play and the song being so short that it barely feels like any effort was put in at all other than a "no homo" joke that's about as funny as the boring Jason Derulo falling down the stairs at Met Gala meme that seems to get a run every year. 

It just feels like a filler fragment that tried to court controversy but still somehow became a hit. Blergh.

Number Four

At this point, it's starting to feel like bullying but if Imagine Dragons could make better music than they might not have any enemies.

"Enemy" by Imagine Dragons feat J.I.D

I think it's time I gave up on this notion that Imagine Dragons will go back to the sort of music they came to prominence with and that sucks "Enemeeeee" is a Dan Reynolds howling nightmare where the piercing shriek of enemeeee will never leave your brain. What is worse is the beat just sounds clunky and honestly kind of painful when you combine the shrieking with the music, it just sounds so annoying that not even a decent guest verse from J.I.D saves this.

Its just an annoying pain of a song that hopefully with time will go away.

Number Three

For the longest time this was my number one worst hit song of the year, mostly because it infuriates me that this was allowed to happen to an Australian music classic synonomous with Australia and thus...

"Down Under" by Luude feat. Colin Hay

I am left speechless by this, just how was this catastrophe allowed to happen to Men At Work's 80s classic "Down Under" (a song that is controversial for copyright seasons), nobody asked for a curdled and dank bass cover that manages to make a great song about being an Australian visiting countries overseas into this ugly sounding mess that just sounds unpleasant especially when Colin Hay's vocals sound almost drowned out. The bass also strips out the pretty damn great and infectious melody of the original.

Give me Men At Work's somewhat overplayed original over junk like this.

Number Two

2000s revival was in full swing in 2022, the seeds were planted in 2019 but it was full on in 2020 especially as Eiffel 65's "Blue (Da Ba Dee)" was sampled by several acts including Nea's "Some Say" which I didn't mind because that song recontextualised the sample and made it work however it doesn't work when you put two artists desperate for a hit together and add in laziness, you end up with this...

"I'm Good (Blue)" by David Guetta feat. Bebe Rexha

I guess congratulations are in order for both acts on somehow nabbing a hit despite the lack of effort and everything else that is wrong with the song. The biggest issue is the blatant trend chasing of something that was already done to death the past two years, David Guetta took the path of chasing a tired trend of sampling 2000s classic "Blue (Da Ba Dee)" and not doing near enough to make the sample interesting or give it a brand spin  to make it sound fresh...it just sounds lazy.

Then there's Bebe Rexha who sounds nasal on the hook and just kind of miserable, it's like she's bored and forcing herself to have "the best freaking night of her life" complete with the gritted teeth and sarcastic yawning, it's a party song that just isn't having any fun at all and the energy at the party is akin to where the party has hit the point where everyone is either tired, asleep, high, drunk or having the kind of sex on the floor where STDs are guaranteed so yeah this song is a cheap, low effort hangover...next!

However its not the worst hit song of the year...

Number One

Before I rant about this song, let me say... I stand with Southstar.

"Miss You" by Robin Schulz and Oliver Tree

This atrocity is the stuff of nightmares to me, it just sounds like absolute torture chamber music with Oliver Tree sounding even more annoying than he normally does on his own material thanks to some pretty awful vocal mixing and changes in the production that make the bass headache inducing.

Oh, I mentioned changes to this song, right? That's because this song was originally made by producer Southstar who took Oliver Tree's song "Jerk" and with the permission of Tree's label, Southstar worked the lyrics into a new song called "Miss You" which wasn't all that good in the first place but fuck, it's better than what happened next.

What was next was another producer Robin Schulz grabbing hold of one the song, made some changes to the vocals, bass and tempo then proceeded to keep the song called "Miss You" which proceeds to blow up and become a hit despite there being cause for fucking lawsuits.

Now the reason is number one worst hit song of 2022 is because of how this song could make copyright law an even worse nightmare than it is now and just howg much non effort was put into making this shit...did they just say "A few tweaks and nobody will notice that somebody else made it"

Fuck this song and fuck the laziness on display, it's the worst hit song of 2022.

Stay tuned for the best hit songs of 2022 list which hopefully will be out by end of next month. 

Top Ten Worst Hit Songs of 1989

 Ahh yes, the time has come to peruse the best and worst that 1989's pop music had to offer and to make those top ten lists although for me making this worst list felt really difficult as there just weren't that many songs that outright pissed me off as I generally liked a lot of what we got in 1989 pop music wise which basically puts me at odds with most critics who say 1989 was a baaad year for the charts however what did wind up on my worst list....whooo boy... it just stunk to high hell mostly in saccharine, clingy pop that I imagine even love song dedications radio DJs would be faintly embarrassed to play in 2022.

Regardless, here's the rules for this list, for songs to wind up here, they must debut on the ARIA year end chart for 1989 OR chart on the 1989 year end higher than it did on the 1988 year end. Also no dishonourable mentions as there just weren't enough worthy of ire, "Stop" by Sam Brown is just mediocre and really not worth hanging shit on.

So you got that? Good, now lets dump some musical garbage out at sea, beginning with...

Number Ten

If you have seen my worst hit songs lists then you will know just how much shitty cover versions piss me off, there's three covers that will make this list and we're beginning with a song that tells a year's old tale.... just a shame the late 80s had to turn it into a mess...

10. "Iko Iko" by The Belle Stars

I wish artists would understand the history of the song they are covering before they go into a studio and turn it into a clusterfuck like The Belle Stars did with "Iko Iko". The song originally written and recorded in 1953 under another title "Jock-a-mo" by James 'Sugar Boy' Crawford and his Cane Cutters and then changed to the more famous title in 1965 when The Dixie Cups made it a hit. The song tells the story of a parade collision between two Indian Mardi Gras tribes and the traditional confrontation between the tribes in New Orleans so what we needed in 1989 was The Belle Stars version being this heavy drums and pretty much noise that drowns out the vocals and oh God, I feel a splitting headache coming on. The worst part is that I doubt they even understand what the effing song is even about! Ugh...

Number Nine

Say what you want about "Iko Iko", there's much worse like this wretched effort from this one hit wonder that did not ring my bell at all...

"Ring My Bell" by Collette

I may not really like Anita Ward's original "Ring My Bell" but I would take it over this overproduced train wreck of a cover from New Zealand born Aussie Collette, the song is a disaster right out of the God damn gate with what sounds like a tennis player grunting or somebody having sex...take your pick and Collette's nasal voice delivery the verses like she's in the last stages of a violent head cold!. The backing vocals are badly placed and the wail of "You can ring my bell" just gets fucking annoying. I'm only ever going to ring the bell to place it on this worst list.

Number Eight

The fact this is only number eight on this list kind of stuns me considering just how much this pisses me off. Folks, this is how you should not take a classic Carole King song and turn it into monogenre garbage.

"I Feel the Earth Move" by Martika

1989 was the year of Martika, she had two songs make the year end for 1989 with her biggest hit being "Toy Soldiers" which, I guess, is fine compared to this disaster of a cover of a really sweet Carole King love song, let's start with the fact Martika yells "I. FEEL. THE. EARTH. MOVEUNDERMYFEET" which honestly rips out the charm and soul of King's original. Oh let's not forget that the piano was replaced by tired synths and whatever the hell the rest of this is, it's clunky and paired with Martika yelling, it is a headache of a cover...Carole King deserves better.

Number Seven 

So Neighbours had spawned several singers by this time... Stefan Dennis, Kylie Minogue and this next guy on this list and if there is one thing I hate in a love song, it's the protagonist being overtly clingy or weepy when their partner wants to leave them...

"Too Many Broken Hearts" by Jason Donavan

Let's get the first thing annoys me about this song out of the way for a guy who doesn't want this girl leave him, Donavan sounds emotionless like singing this hacked out plea for this girl to not leave him is just something to do...that said, it does have the feel of being  a Rick Astley left over that even he likely thought was bad. The music is pretty stock late 80s fare, piano, washed orfut synths and drums apart from that guitar at the beginning but the reason this song is here is because of the lyrics where she wants out of the relationship but Donavan can't let her go because he needs her body and soul and because there's too many broken hearts in the world, he is going to either fight for her to stay which is just....ugh...maybe she's had enough of being the adult in this relationship while v throw toddler tantrums and cling to her ankles like chewing gum on a shoe, Jason? Ughh, this song is just ripe with gross clingyness that it weird me out however there's another song that dips into clingy territory and is worse than this later on this list but this is still terrible.

Number Six

So I really struggled with where to place this song, I've hated it for years and it's revival in a car as where kids sang didn't help me feel anything but a deep burning desire to yell "FUCKING SAIL AWAY ALREADY, DAMN IT!" and now I have said that, you know what this it.

"Orinoco Flow" by Enya

I wish I understood the appeal of songs like this, mumbled singing until the singer, in this case, Enya squawks out "Sail away" repeatedly for a hook until your ears bleed and you realize 70s yacht rock is better than this. Yeah, give me Kenny Loggins and any of the yacht rock set over this boring chore of a song that yes, it sounds pretty but really it's also pretty much the kind of adult alternative junk that easy listening stations play to the annoyance of everyone listening. Also just the phrase 'Orinoco Flow" makes me think of toilets....flush away, flush away...

Number Five

You know, even despite how high this is, I'm not as angry at this as I am at songs lower on this list... time can manufacture distance from the song and the fact the duo didn't actually record it does dilute the anger however that doesn't stop the song from being here...

"Baby, Don't Forget My Number" by Milli Vanilli

So let's forget for the moment that Milli Vanilli didn't actually record this, they just lip synced for the public but just how clunky this whole mess is. The rapping sounds stilted, have no genuine flow and at the end, he sounds like he is asking a question rather than being firm in being there for this girl. Also has anyone associated with this mess heard of some actual drums and instrumentation that doesn't sound so watery,it literally sounds like they released the bloody demo! Thisisone of the music industry's most amateur moments ever and for somebody to have green lit this...ughhh.

Number Four

Okay, l'm not going to waste time, time to answer the central question of this song.

"Where Did I Go Wrong?" by UB40

Okay so the conceit of this song is this guy wondering what he did for his girlfriend to want to up and leave him...well maybe confront the major issues with this song like that incredibly annoying flute loop and the song lyrically makes the guy sound as clingy as Jason fucking Donavan, the song describes her as sounding completely done with the relationship so why are you whining about her being gone for good when it's likely she wants rid of your toxic ass...let her go, stop being toxic and stop making bad songs! 

Let's not talk about UB40's godawful early 90s Elvis cover... we'll pretend that never happened, okay?

Number Three

Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take ya...just not on the back of this nightmare fuel...

"Kokomo" by The Beach Boys

The Beach Boys, one of the most influential bands of the 60s outside of The Beatles, returned in 1989 with possibly their worst song since "Barbara Ann" aka "Barbar the Ants" and holy hell, instead of driving down a woman's body like her body is back road like Sam Hunt in 2017 ("Body Like A Back Road" is still fucking repulsive), the Beach Boys want to fly the 'pretty mama" to Aruba, Jamaica, Bermuda, Bahama (They dropped the 's' off Bahamas to make the already stinky lyrics work) and not forgetting Key Largo (Bertie Higgins already did that, guys!) and Montego before randomly settling on Kokomo and suggest having sex on the beach and fall in love which is doing it ass backwards, you are supposed to fall in love before plugging your dick into her soon to be sand filled pussy pussy but hey the song does say they'll take it fast before taking it slow....NONE OF THIS MAKES SEX ON THE BEACH ATTRACTIVE OR SAND IN THE PUSSY APPEALING.

Throw in the washed out and lazy music, sleazy vocal delivery and you have a very unattractive music advert for sex on the beach in years.

Number Two

Not much needs to be said here other than ask why did Bette Midler record cats fighting in a bag and release it as a single?

"Wind Beneath My Wings" by Bette Midler

Oh God, just whhyyy? I know funerals need their music too but if this song was meant to be uplifting or inspiring....it doesn't work. IBette Midler literally opens the song belittling the person she's talking to by singing "It must have been cold there in my shadow" before launching into this cornball chorus where with person's help she can fly high than an eagle (she also used the eagle reference in 1991's "From A Distance" which is also a bad song that is right up there for worst of 1991) over a bland piano which has about as much texture as runny baby poo except you'd swear they are trying to make this saccharine blandness sound appealing...until it gets to the breakdown and the cry of "Fly " over and over leaves the distinct feeling that innocent cats are in a bag fighting in a bland song about somebody being a hero ... My final words for this are: RELEASE THE CATS FROM THE BAG!

Number One

So after all that, what could possibly be the worst hit song of 1989? Well let's go back to one of the themes of this list, clingy men not being able to let go and talk it over in bed with Grayson Hugh...

"Talk It Over" by Grayson Hugh.

So this wasn't going to be my number one at first, I thought the song was kind of bad, this weird attempt at late 80s downtuned Motown that would have seen this place low on this list but it was a closer listen to Grayson Hugh's braying delivery and the lyrics that shot this right to the top because....woooow,  he has obviously cheated or done something to upset this girl and now he is pathetically trying to beg her not to do what she probably should and leave this thinking with his dick toxic douchebag by means by gaslighting (the "I can tell you still want me" line is such blatant gaslighting, it ought to be illegal) and asking her if they can "talk it over in bed". Dude, she wants to be done with you, the last thing she wants with you is sexy time...no amount of sex will fix your failing relationship if she has her bags packed to leave, you literally only want her in your bed in the hope your dick can make her forget that you were an asshole to her

This song made me feel ill every time I heard it, from the lyrics to the high pitched female backing vocals who can't harmonise, Hugh's abrasive braying and music that pretty much represents everything that was wrong with music in 1989.

"Talk It Over" by Grayson Hugh is the worst hit song of 1989. Stay tuned for the best list!

Top Ten Worst Hit Songs of 2021.

Another year over, another year full of the ARIA singles chart and the hits and misses of the year, time to do a little summer cleaning and pore over the best and worst of the year. Now while 2021 was still a good year, ir was a step down from 2020 in terms of quality and it wasn't all that hard finding stuff that outright sucked that made ARIA's year end list for 2021 be it slog in pop rap, indie pop, pop country and even a couple of arists I like actually disappointing me this year however I will also say that the bad stuff sticks out in amongst all the good so let's get in, pick up the trash and dispose of it.

However before we go any further, a song can only make this list if it debuted on the year end chart for 2021 or peaked on the year end higher in 2021 than it did in 2020 so older songs like "Someone you Loved" by Lewis Capaldi and "Shape Of You" by Ed Sheeran that made year end lists in previous years are not eligible. Also I'll never put a song on a list like this for being boring...boring can be a factor but there's got to be something wrong with the song to make this list. Finally, this is my list, my opinion so please don't abuse me over what essentially is just my opinion.

Now all that is clear, let's get this shit show on the road starting with only four dishonourable mentions...

Dishonourable Mentions

"Rasputin" by Majestic x Boney M

The original wasn't good to begin with and this remix makes this song so much worse with the screeching of "Ra ra Rasputin"...ugh...next

"No Role Modelz" by J Cole

So apparently this qualified for the Australian year end for the first time in 2021 and my god, this leaves me with the feeling that J Cole is vastly over rated as a rapper because this song is ASININE and is only not making the top because of a rule where I don't put older songs in the top ten of a list of my best or worst hit songs however the lyrics are embarrassing....Martin Luther King would have been on Dreamville...geeez...I got better things to do with my time because this is not it.

"Traitor" by Olivia Rodrigo

Of the four songs Olivia Rodrigo lodged on the year end for 2021, this was the one I liked the least mostly because it felt like this childish jabbing in the tummy of her ex rather than her ahowing that she's not stooping down to his level and moving on with her life, sometimes the best revenge on an asshole is to move on and move forward, be better and don't lower yourself to that level which Olivia doesn't do here.

“The Business” by Tiesto

I get the appeal of the song, but I am sorry, the vocals here don’t make this song anything close to attractive…I get that it’s meant to be a song about getting down to business and getting serious but it’s the sort of song that sounds completely miserable and feels like it belongs in a sewer drain or worse. It’s probably one of the songs that just felt unpleasant to listen to every time I tried to get into and enjoy it…it never happened. 

Number Ten

So in 2017, Travis Scott had a sizeable hit with :Goosebumps" taking an uncredited Kendrick Lamar along for the ride...now i don't mind the original...just a shame I can't say the same of the house remix that came this year...

“Goosebumps” by HVME feat. Travis Scott

Welcome to the most unnecessary Spanish house remix of a song to somehow become a hit in years, there was no need for this. Travis Scott’s 2017 hit “Goosebumps” is a 2010s trap gem so what does producer HVME do to it? Pitches Travis Scott down, percussion that makes the song sound like a raging headache wrapped in a heroin wrap except only less deadly. All the elements that made the original work are not here either, there’s no uncredited Kendrick verse, nor is there the atmosphere or that guitar, it’s just a gutless pointless remix that should have never even charted in the first place and the fact this remix outcharted the original performed by Travis Scott and Kendrick Lamar on the ARIA singles chart is just fucking depressing with the original only peaking at 45, HVME’s version with Travis Scott on board got to number 5…ugh.

Number Nine

Speaking of pointless remixes that become very disappointing when you see the names attached to them...

“Cold Heart (PNAU Remix)” by Elton John and Dua Lipa

I really didn’t want to do this…I didn’t want to put two acts I absolutely love on worst hit songs of 2021 list. Dua Lipa had one of the best and most iconic pop albums of 2020, she has still been riding residual success on the singles chart thanks to “Levitating”, she didn’t have to do this however “Cold Heart” got enough overt radio play to make the song start to sour on me and here it is. For one thing Dua Lipa supplies these thin, frail sounding vocals singing a section of “Rocket Man (I think it’s Going to be a Long Long Time)” and doesn’t sound like herself in between Elton John singing a section of “Sacrifice” on a new song. PNAU’s production doesn’t help thanks to the pile up of near constant strange noises, the only thing that works is the groove, there’s just too much going on for the song to flow both in the production and lyrically. It’s just a disjointed mess that hopefully will be forgotten about long term

Number Eight

You know, if there was one artist who had a really good 2021, it would have to be Doja Cat...she was pretty much the dominant force on the charts for women in hip hop, it's just a shame that not every song released from Planet Her was good because in 2021, Doja Cat gave us this...

“Need To Know” by Doja Cat

Doja, you’ve done this sort of song before...it was one of the biggest hits of 2020 and called “Say So” and even if the beat Dr Luke provided for that song was washed out and not great however it was better than this trap clunker. While I have gotten to a point where I can handle Doja’s harsher vocal delivery, she just doesn’t sound good here at all where she’s wanting to know if this guy will fuck her already. This is a sex song that’s not as sexy as Doja Cat or anyone else involved with this song thinks it is, thankfully she did better in 2021 but this headache and a half wasn't it.

Number Seven

Speaking of headaches...it's time to talk about the winners of 2021's Eurovision Song Contest...

“Beggin’” by Maneskin

The first thing that should be stressed is that this is not a cover of the original performed by Frankie Valli but rather a cover of the version Madcon recorded in 2007 and in a year where Italian Eurovision winners Maneskin burst onto the scene following their Eurovision win earlier this year thanks to “ZItti e Buoni” but somehow instead of that song getting big, we got this cover that become big and at first I was okay with the song but as time went on, “Beggin’” just got worse thanks to one pivotal factor that being the lead vocals which can best be described as a mix of crooner who forgot that warming the throat up is an important part of being able to sing well and the sound of somebody who is recovering from a serious bout of laryngitis and discovered he can talk again, it isn’t tolerable. At least on songs like “Zitti e Buoni”, the vocals sound pleasant enough but I just can’t with “Beggin’”...I’m sorry...the radio gets turned every time the song comes on.

Number Six

So what cha all know about rolling down in the deep...not like this next bloke has much of a clue

“Astronaut in the Ocean” by Masked Wolf

Well, this is 2021’s obvious worst list target more because the song tries to send a message about depression and anxiety but doesn’t tell a story to make me feel anything for him and the fact he is talking down to the audience on the hook where he manages to piss me off further by referencing Adele’s incredible 2011 hit “Rolling in the Deep” whiile talking down to his audience and the verses read more like him being the quintessential ‘nice guy’ and later brags about his prowess in rap...I mean sure he has a decent flow but that’s about it, he certainly doesn’t have the wordplay or charisma of others. Oh yeah, the song wastes a pretty good guitar that introduced the song...NEXT.

Number Five

Lewis Capaldi took a break in 2021...thank goodness...but that didn't mean we weren't spared of British solo acts howling like banshees...here's proof of that...

“Little Bit of Love” by Tom Grennan

I have been aware of UK singer songwriter Tom Grennan for a while and while there are songs from him I don’t mind like “Run in the Rain” or “Barbed Wire” however “Little Bit of Love” is a pretty awful crossover into commercial pop especially as Tom Grennan feels he has to haltingly shout the hook in the most over the top manner that comes across as really unnecessary  and unfortunately it's one where the Lewis Capaldi reference I made in introducing this song to the list because like on "Someone You Loved", the sentiments are so oversold and yowling they become distracting. Throw in the production that just feels like its compromising Tom Grennan’s overall sound just to get him a cross over pop hit and yeah...this was a dud the charts could have done without.

Number Four

Yeah, we were going to hit this point eventually but it's time to talk about The Kid Laroi on this list...

“Stay” by The Kid Laroi feat. Justin Bieber

The longer this stayed at number one on the ARIA singles chart, the more it soured for me especially as I realized that ‘Stay” is basically just Kid Laroi’s predecessor single (we’ll get to it) part two as the Kid Laroi bleats that he wants this girl to stay even though she’s fed up with his nonsense of getting drunk and wasted despite promising he’ll change which triggers an inert Bieber verse although I will say he sounds better crooning over the beat than The Kid Laroi does, Bieber basically sucks up to this poor fed up woman about her being the reason he believes in love blah blah even though it doesn’t even fit with the sentiment The Kid Laroi is expressing, it’s just totally pathetic from the pair of them, why would she want to stay when all The Kid Laroi seems to do is bleat, guilt trip and act like a baby? No woman who knows her value would stay with a guy like this. As for the instrumentation…well yeah…it sounds like an instrumental that can be inserted into most eighties leaning modern pop songs, it's not all that special. 

Number Three

You might be surprised as to how this song is so high on this list...well one of the artists on this song happens to be an artst I like and given most of what she has released this year was 'easy listening, fit for radio' junk, this one hurts to put here and I thought putting Dua Lipa and Elton John on this list hurt...

"One Too Many" by Keith Urban and Pink

Having heard a lot of Pink's past work for reasons that I can't go into right now but you'll see on the blog soon, I just couldn't reconcile the fact that the very same Pink who recorded songs like "Get the Party Started", "U + Ur Hand" and "So What" was now recording material for the easy listening meat grinder to gobble up and spit out the other side like this song with Keith Urban where Pink sounds like she has been stripped of all her personality next to country singer Keith Urban who also has about as much personality on this song as grandma's beige curtains from the 50s. is just devastating.

Yeah, you can argue that Pink is older and her earlier material isn't representative of who she is now but come on, she's better than this turgid pop slurry off a song that made nobody other than radio programmers happy that they had something to fit in between The Kid Laroi and Jason DeRulo.

Number Two

Well...it's time to cool these heat waves down to a sudden cold snap...

“Heat Waves” by Glass Animals

This is one of those songs where the awful is obvious, the whole song sounds like a god damn mosquito or bee buzzing in your ear until you flick it away or do what I did every time this song come on the radio...turn it off. It’s not pleasant at all even the vocal delivery sounds like they are being put to sleep by having sand thrown in their eyes by the Sandman in children’s stories, it sounds so incredibly lethargic and drowsy sounding, it’s literally the last song I would want to hear on the radio as I am starting my day because of just how unpleasant it sounds, I am honestly surprised that it somehow got Tik Tok virality causing it to become one of the biggest hits of the year because of the mosquito buzzing in the ear sound it has.

It’s just one of those songs that has absolutely no use regardless of the situation, the sound of the sound makes it hard for chilling and the groove is too lethargic and slow to dance to, Almsot like they wanted the song to be a trap song but didn’t have the tools to get it there. 

So before we get to our rightful number one worst hit song of the year, let's blow through a few terrible songs that hit year ends overseas...let's call this segment...

Overseas Charting Noise Pollution

From the Billboard Hot 100...

"Fancy Like" by Walker Hayes.

I am not going to rant at length about how absolutely fucking terrible this song is and by now every critic has hauled this song over the coals for how absolutely rancid it is even if I get the gut feeling, it's the boost Walker Hayes flagging career needed to chart more dross on the Hot 100...just fuck everything....

"Good Time" by Niko Moon

At least Owl City and Carly Rae Jepsen didn't have to try to and have a good time when they recorded their ode to partying where as Niko Moon sounds like he is at the flattest party possible where the only beer left to drink is half a can that's been sittting in the all god damn day. What a limp and lethargic song this is.

From the UK Official Charts

"Black Magic" by Jonasu

I've heard this song on the radio once...that's the last time I want to hear this miserable turd again because geezus this is just a repetitive song that makes me want to throw my radio down the toilet.

"Out Out" by Joel Corry, Jax Jones and Charli XCX feat. Saweetie

Oh wow....this was a disappointing collab...too many people on the damn song for it to work well and as somebody who is looking forward to that Charli XCX album...the fact she was involved with this was the biggest disappointment of all.

From the Austrian charts

"Iko Iko" by Justin Wellington

A song that by now has been repeatedly covered and this newest version sounds like wallpaper and Justin Wellington's voice can't sell shit on a stick. Heard this song more than enough on the radio this year.

Well that takes care of that and now for the number one worst hit song of the year...

Number One

Yeah, there's no getting around this one, this song makes me angry much like "Intentions" by Justin Bieber feat. Quavo did and like that song, this one has been a consistent thorn in my side since it became a thing on the ARIA singles chart...and by now, given I have no interest in trolling those who read my cavalcades of nonsense, you should all know what the song is....

"Without You" by The Kid Laroi

Honestly, I don’t want to even put The Kid Laroi here but he keeps making gummy guitar based songs like this where not even he sounds good on it then it leaves me with no choice but to put ‘Without You” here however it’s not even the production that’s the worst part of the song where Kid Laroi himself sounds like he swallowed three packets of razor blades trying to sing the hook before trying to howl his lungs out, to the point it makes Lewis Capaldi on "Someone You Loved" sound tolerable, the worst part of “Without You” is the writing where apparently you can’t make a wife out of a hoe (what a way to talk about women, dude...not) and how the song lacks so little context and feels like Kid Laroi is guilt tripping this girl, it’s just an icky song that deserves the status of being the worst hit song of 2021. 

Top Ten Worst Hit Songs of 1992.

 We’ve reached the end of another year and it’s time to sift through the ARIA year end for 1992 looking for the absolute best and worst music the year had to offer so today we’ll be discussing the absolute worst songs of the year.

How was the music of 1992? Unfortunately, 1992 won’t go down as an all time great year for the ARIA singles chart with really only rock having an outstanding year, pop had its moments sure as did hip hop and R’n’B but there was a LOT of bland, sappy and really generic music hitting the charts this year that were really obnoxious with just how bland, boring and sappy some of them were so I really just want to get through this list so I can talk about the stuff that actually stood out as being good to great.

Before we do get to the list, I will go over the rules for any newcomers:

1.       A song qualifies if it debuted on the ARIA year end list for 1992, there are exceptions for 1991 songs IF they made the year end list for 1992 and peaked higher on the 1992 list than they did in 1991 so yes, “Cream” by Prince & the New Power Generation is eligible. Mercifully “Addams Groove” by Hammer did not make the year end list…THANK FUCKING CHRIST.

2.       This is my list, my opinion. Please do not take my opinion as fact or abuse me in the comments.

Now we’ve got that straight let’s toss some garbage music into the rubbish bin permanently.

 

So as I said, rock had a fantastic year in 1992 so this particular song leaves me asking the question: What’s the excuse for this song sucking so god damn much?

10. “To be With You” by Mr Big.

In a year where rock from Metallica, Red Hot Chili Peppers and even Guns ‘N’ Roses attained chart success and managed to also be excellent, I am not sure just how and why this brand of lazy gooey shlock dressed as rock music managed to get to number one and stay there for THREE weeks. What is worse is that the lyrics seem like the early prototype that Shawn Mendes built his 2016 (terrible) hit “Treat You Better:” around, this guy just seems like the archetypal ‘nice guy’ who is telling this girl that her relationship will soon be over and when that relationship is done, she can be with him because why be with a bad boy rather than the nice guy?

Maybe this girl might be happier on her than with either of these two guys and given the production on offer here with the vocal delivery so loud that you can barely hear the actual music. Ugh, fate might have twisted the guy’s relationship, but this was always destined to wind up on the worst list for being one of the worst kinds of ‘nice guy’ bullying.

 

There are two covers that are going to make this list, the first of which is from the soundtrack of a movie and gave this artist yet another hit…just a shame it sucks…

 

9. “I Will Always Love You” by Whitney Houston

Ooh boy this is going to get me into some trouble however I get irrationally angry when I hear people say that this overwrought train wreck cover of Dolly Parton’s 1974 hit for the soundtrack of the movie ‘The Bodyguard’ is one of the great movie songs mostly because Whitney’s over the top vocals on the chorus just feel so insincere and lacking, it feels forced especially when you consider that the original version has Dolly deliver the chorus in an incredibly understated manner without the theatrics.  We know Whitney can belt but there really was not a need here for the belting so yeah, I have no time for this cover or the vocal gymnastics that make it complete overkill. Thank goodness we will always have Dolly’s original. Whitney did so much better in the 80s.

 

So while Whitney Houston was belting her lungs out in 1992, in the same year, Madonna was changing things up again…kind of wish she rethought this song though…

 

8. “This Used to be my Playground’ by Madonna

This song was used at the end credits of a COMEDY film called “A League of Their Own” which during my research for this list shocked me because this song doesn’t sound like anything close to being appropriate for a movie designated for a comedy film because this just sounds like it might do of two things to somebody who, for some insane reason, chose to listen to it, those being cry or they are suffering from insomnia and this song provides a good sleeping soundtrack  because unlike most playgrounds which are bright, colourful and full of noise, this song is shades of black, white and grey is possibly the most dreary song Madonna has ever decided to record.

Seriously, there’s no conceivable way for somebody to enjoy this song, it‘s too dull to really dance too and so slow and boring that if you try to relax to it, you’d end up falling asleep. Madonna, I say this unequivocally, you are so much better than THIS.

 

Say what you like about Madonna exploring being miserable, at least it’s marginally better than whatever the hell this was…

 

7. “Sesame’s Treet” by Smart Es.

I am going to keep this short but if you must include the theme song to a beloved children’s TV show in your noisy torturous sorry excuse of a dance song that sounds like a gurgling drain half the time than you can probably expect to land on lists like this one. Not to mention it sounds like the children singing the Sesame Street theme sound incredibly pitched up and kind of annoying to the point it’s headache inducing. Not the first song to do that but this is the remix of children’s TV show theme that felt incredibly unnecessary…NEXT!

 

Well, that was annoying but then again it could be worse, take a song about that’s clearly about sex and inflate it with going to heaven and you get this…

 

6. ‘Thought I’d Died and Gone to Heaven” by Bryan Adams

This wasn’t even the worst song Bryan Adams released in 1992 that thankfully didn’t make the year end list but my god does “Thought I’d Died and Gone to Heaven’ earn it’s spot on this list with the levels of cringe not seen since Adams inflicted his simp anthem “Everything I Do (I Do It For You)” on the world in 1991 but at least that song had a weird veneer of sincerity to it because “Thought I’d Died and Gone to Heaven” is basically about Bryan Adams having sex with this girl and this girl being so good in the sack, he has nutted or to coin him the song, he thinks he has died and gone to heaven yet the instrumentation doesn’t match with the vibe the song is going for unless it’s the loudest possible sex that wakes neighbours and triggers dogs to bark three doors down with shrill guitars, the weird production on Adams vocals that leave him down too low in the mix and those shouted “Whoa ohs” on the hook which I guess is supposed to be for “I’M NUTTING!”

This song is just all kinds of…no…if this song helps you to get off than good luck to you but this isn’t going to be any sort of go to for sexy time in my household any time soon…NEXT!

 

Well at least when the relationship falls over, I wouldn’t go asking for advice from this next song…

 

5. “Achy Breaky Heart” by Billy Ray Cyrus

This ode to crappy relationship break ups and ‘nice guy’ guilt tripping was the biggest song of 1992 yet somehow nobody has called Billy Ray out for this absolute piece of shit of song because this song is a pointer of how immature this whole thing really is, he tells her she can do whatever she wants as long as she doesn’t tell his ‘achy breaky heart’ because his pathetically weak heart might blow up and kill him which just makes him sound like a guilt tripping asshole because he is too weak to handle a woman breaking up with him and Billy Ray doesn’t even realize just how much of an asshole he is being here. Oh and that “woooo” at the end of the chorus sounds like sleazy men at a strip club ogling the first dancer on stage which is just gross.

Anyway, Billy Ray Cyrus is now known for the much better feature on a Lil Nas X song which is probably a good thing going forward…

 

You all know by now having seen my past worst hit songs lists that bad cover songs grind my gears…well in 1992, there were plenty of them and a lot of them were bad that I almost could have done a list of worst hit cover songs for 1992 but then I remembered that one Australian trio had cornered the market in shitty cover songs that deserved to be here so let’s deal with that group shall we..

 

4, “Be My Baby” by Teen Queens

Okay really I could have thrown ‘Love How You Love Me” in this slot here too because yeah, the songs are basically the same, take a hit song from the 60s, slap a generic 90s dance groove over the top and include vocals that are beyond over processed which is exactly what occurred to this disastrous cover of The Ronettes “Be My Baby”, at least that group had passion for wanting this guy to be theirs but Teen Queens make it sound like it’s a chore or something to sing while busking out the front of a supermarket or even worse cruise ship lounge singers that come on when every one is either drunk or asleep and that’s when you can even hear them singing because the production mostly comes in over the top of them. I may not like the original much, but I’ll sure take it over what Teen Queens offer up here.

 

Oh wait...we’re not done with bad covers because…

 

3.       3. "Please Don't Go" by K.W.S

Probably the most predictable pick here but when you strip out the warmth and sincerity of KC and the Sunshine Band’s original which was a hit in 1980 and replace it with synthetic and sterile production and vocallists who sound like they need having passion in their delivery explained to them because they deliver the line “please don’t go” with the same intensity as a two year who proudly shows everyone that he get his fingers up his nose which is fine if we’re talking about a two year old digging for snotty gold in his nose but it’s not fine in a song about a guy begging a woman to not leave him!

Throw in the usual 90s dance production and it just doesn’t feel at all human or sincere, it feels like it’s just this computer programmed mess which makes the song feel unpleasant and not something I want to ever return to…

 

Well say what you like about the insincerity of K.W.S’s cover of “Please Don’t Go”, sometimes it can dip way too far in the opposite direction where the song just drips with so much sincerity that the song can become unnervingly saccharine and nonsensical…

 

2. “Save The Best for Last” by Vanessa Williams.

Ordinarily a song that’s somehow both saccharine sweet but incredibly dull wouldn’t snare a spot on a list like this especially as you can tell this was an attempt to cash in on the Mariah Carey type of artist, I’d generally look upon it as bland and move on even though I actually think the production here is pretty nice but what tossed this song so god damn high on the list was the asinine lyrics that much like Whitney Houston’s belting on the hook of “I Will Always Love You” are just cringey and overwrought eg: “Sometimes the snow comes down in June, sometimes the sun goes round the moon” on the hook is enough to make anyone roll their eyes…the weather has nothing to do with this guy saving the best for last? There’s no connectivity to make the writing to work here.

Also trashing the guy’s previous girlfriend makes you look incredibly trashy here, Vanessa, and no, you and this guy standing face to face does not make the world crazy. Ugh…time to move on …

 

So before we get to the number one, let’s talk about our dishonourable mentions…

 

DHM1: “Pride in the Name of Love” by Clivilles and Cole

Yeah, wasn’t going to not put this song on a list like this. You don’t take a great U2 song and turn it into a messy Eurodance song. U2 deserve more respect than this.

DHM2: “Everything About You (“As Ugly As They Wanna Be” EP)" by Ugly Kid Joe

As I pointed out with “To Be With You” by Mr Big, in a year that was absolutely huge for rock music as a whole, there’s no excuse for this crap excuse of a thing to exist. It’s lazy and by the numbers rock, disappointing it was even a hit considering that in rock in 1992, you could do so much better.

 

DHM3: “Love You Right’ by Euphoria

This could have escaped this list but the vocals on the hook are just obnoxious, you try listening to somebody screaming ‘I WANNA I WANNA LOVE YOU RIGHT!” over and and over again, you’ll find yourself reaching for the earplugs eventually.

 

DHM4: “Something Good” by Utah Saints

Maaan, what was wrong with Eurodance and techno in 1992 that we got messes like this becoming hits, words repeated into shrill incoherence to the point of being annoying. We get it, your group name is Utah Saints, no need to repeat it ad fucking nauseum

 

DHM5: “Beauty & The Beast” by Celine Dion and Peabo Bryson

While there were worse bland ballads in 1992, this one got to the point of being irritating in record time. Celine Dion is a better vocalist than this song allows her to be, it’s an absolute dirge of a song.

 

So with the riff raff taken care of, lets get to the absolute worst song 1992 had to offer and well…it wasn’t going to be anything else…

 

1.  1. “James Brown Is Dead” by L.A. Style

This song is unlistenable, I can’t even get past the first 30 seconds of this piece of junk called “music” and farted out to the masses as a form of audio torture with its painfully obnoxious noise made even worse by the desecration of one of the great names of soul and funk music in James Brown.  There’s nothing in this song that adds value to the conversation around music other than the fact it’s completely disrespectful to James Brown, there’s just nothing to be gotten from listening to it other than complete frustration, it’s what I imagine gets played on loop by prison wardens when they try to garner information from prisoners…that’s how unpleasant listening to this train wreck of a song is and it’s the worst hit song of 1992 easily.

Stayed tune to find out what I thought were the best hit songs of 1992 and find out the year I'm going to be covering in 2022!

Top Ten WORST Hit Songs of 2020

 We have finally reached the end of this wretched, disgusting and frankly tiresome year however also means looking back on the year in popular music to find the absolute best and absolute worst 2020 had to offer on the ARIA singles chart and honestly…this year on the ARIA singles chart somehow defied the terribleness of the year, there’s not nearly as many bad or outright garbage songs as there were in 2018 or even last year however it does mean that the truly awful hits this year stuck out a lot more especially from one particular artist who spent 2020 infuriating me but we’ll get to that. 

Also it’s worth pointing out that a lot of the worst elements of pop music in 2020 came from things beyond the control of popular music like stan culture and all of the ugly offshoots that come from that on social media eg: doxxing of chart accounts (Let’s not forget that 2020 was the year that ChartData got doxxed by a certain fanbase over the number one position on the US Billboard Hot 100) and the bullying that I see so often in the comments under ChartData’s tweets and the songs trying to cash in on people’s emotions due to the pandemic and the subsequent lockdowns that occurred worldwide.

There was also the coronavirus pandemic and the music that was aiming to hit on people’s emotions. Unfortunately a lot of the good songs about the pandemic were kept off the charts and well…you’ll see…

However, we are going to talking about the music that got popular in Australia so before we get stuck into the list, it is time to go through the rules.

1. A song can only make this unfortunate list if it reached the ARIA year end singles chart so while "Hard to Forget" by Sam Hunt is absolutely disgusting, it didn't make the ARIA year end list (honestly, thank goodness for that because I really would have started questioning the intelligence of the Australian public

2. A song that made the 2019 year end list is also eligible but only if it peaked higher on the 2020 year end list 

3. No abuse, this list is my opinion and reflects the feelings I have had about the charting music this year, if you disagree with me than provide valid argument why a song doesn’t deserve to be on my worst hit songs list minus using stan lingo…stan lingo will earn you a patented laugh and a ‘the song still sucks’ reply.

Now that I have made that clear, let us get on with the list.

So in the past two years, Billie Eilish has become one of the biggest names in pop music but in 2020, she was pretty quiet apart from releasing a few scattered singles however Eilish being pretty quiet so set the stage for this travesty to happen… 

10. “You Broke Me First” by Tate McRae

I am convinced record labels watched as Billie Eilish set the world alight in 2019 with a sound that was very different from what others within pop music were doing at the time and pontificated on how they can get in on what Billie Eilish is doing and given Billie has had a reasonably quiet year, they turned to Tate McRae for this turgid slog of a song that tries to sell her scorn at this ex wanting her back after an ugly break up and honestly, McRae’s anger here is unconvincing and the production sounds washed out and lacks the kind menace and anger you’d think you would need for a song about a break up where the title is accusing the other person of breaking her first.

The song is also bland, derivative junk that Billie Eilish did better on “When the Party’s Over” in 2018/19…next!

As I said in the introduction, the world is in the midst of a pandemic which meant of course lockdowns and people staying home so of course the popular music tried to reflect on what people were going through which meant everyone from Twenty One Pilots to Luke Combs had to release their quarantine songs and for the most part. Some of them were good eg “Six Feet Apart” by Luke Combs and “Level of Concern” by Twenty One Pilots neither of which somehow became hits but we did get one quarantine song that became a hit courtesy of both these artists being managed by Scooter Braun…pity it sucks.

9. “Stuck with You” by Ariana Grande and Justin Bieber

This song represents the absolute worst of the songs that pandered toward people’s feelings toward the pandemic and what is unsettling about this song is that it’s Ariana Grande and Justin Bieber, two superstars in the world of popular music who are capable of so much better. Can we start with the fact that Ariana’s crooning fails to harmonise with Justin Bieber who sounds completely bored and like he would rather be doing anything else than singing about being in lockdown? Ariana just overwhelms Bieber vocally and the lack of harmonising does bother me. 

Oh and the production sounds slapdash as well, four or five different sounds just slapped together in a slog sandwich…granted I do like the more rock production on the final bridge and what’s more Ariana sounds unsupported over it, she sounds better on the production given to Lady Gaga’s “Rain On Me”. All in all the production just sounds really flat and dare I say it…cheap which is not exactly a good thing given the two people on the god damn song!

As for the lyric “I could stay here forever”, NOBODY wants to be stuck in god damn quarantine forever, Ariana and Bieber and the more I look at the lyrics of this song, it’s less about being in quarantine and more about Bieber and Ariana being confused over their feelings and just wanting to hook up

At the end of the day, it’s a token charity song that’s not really worth much of anything and will more than likely be forgotten…except I am not done with Bieber yet…ugh…

In 2017/18, Camila Cabello had a massive hit with “Havana’ from her debut album, now “Havana” was an honourable mention on my best hit songs list for 2017…that song is still good to almost great and there are days where I wish I could find room to put it in the top ten for that year however in late 2019 she released a song that was nowhere near close to being in the same football stadium as “Havana”…

8. “My Oh My” by Camila Cabello feat. DaBaby

It is telling how much “My Oh My” cribs from “Havana” from the production to even Camila Cabello’s vocal delivery and swapping out Young Thug for DaBaby with the shocking part being just how wonky and awful “My Oh My” sounds, its tinny and doesn’t flatter Camila’s vocals at all, she sounds absolutely horrendous here.

The lyrics play to this hook up where this man only comes out at midnight and he is after one thing yet so is Camila…the writing on this song is more basic than the writing on fucking “Yummy”…Camila then swears she’s been a ‘good girl’ yet she doesn’t flesh out the details of what this other person wants her to do.

DaBaby’s verse contains some terrible lines like “She say I make her wet whenever my face pop up on TV” and “Pop star, I'm fresh up out the trap and I'm goin' Bieber”…given the year Justin Bieber has just had in terms of the music…it’s probably not the smartest flex ever,  Dababy!

This song is worthless and the fact this as so desperately shoved onto that last Camila Cabello album says A LOT.

This year, there was the good, bad and whatever the fact Justin Bieber shovelled out this year…here’s the first bit of evidence of that…

7. “Holy” by Justin Bieber frat. Chance the Rapper

So this is either another song for Justin Bieber’s wife or for Jesus…one or the other…it’s honestly hard to tell as the whole song is this turgid cornball nonsense perhaps exemplified by the chorus with the line “On God, running to the altar like a track star” which is right up there with the absolute worst lyrics Pat Monahan of Train has ever written! I know Evangelical Christians like to have their flock marry young and pump out the children but come on Justin, you aren’t Usain Bolt or any other fucking track star.

Then there’s Chance the Rapper whose verse pretty much locks this song into the worst list especially with lines like “I'm a believer, my heart is fleshy. Life is short with a temper like Joe Pesci” and “When they get messy, go lefty, like Lionel Messi”

In short this song is terrible especially in the song writing but the production has no power or bombast to it that you would think you’d need for a song that’s supposed to be religious, Bieber’s trying to add power to a song that is making me feel nothing but wanting to laugh at the stupid lyrics and no it doesn’t help that the song seems to have similar sentiments to a Florida Georgia Line song from a few years ago.

We will get to more of Bieber and stupid lyrics later….

Well here is an easy target…

6. “Sunday Best” by Surfaces

This is a song where the lyrics/vocal delivery and the production do not match, you would think that for a song where he is going on about ‘he is feeling good like he should’ that he would sound happy and energetic (although I’d take issue with that awfully chipper lyric given the year that 2020 has been) yet at best he sounds fucking constipated like he ate too much fibre and is now sitting on the toilet trying to pass this turd of a song out of his bowels.

What is with all the god damn empty platitudes about leaving a day better than you found it? I mean come on…1. There is only so much that people can do while they are in quarantine/lockdown 2. Saying whatever is not going to fix an issue, it’s how you deal with the issue.

The production on this song is a wash, for a song that is trying to be this perky number, the music sounds like it was written for a death march rather than actually sounding bright and happy so yeah if I wanted to be cheered up this year…this was the sound I kept out of my ears. Ugh!

This next song would not be here, let alone this high on the worst list if it weren’t for just one element of the song that just does not work at all and annoys me…

5, “Death Bed” by Powfu feat. Beabadoobee

This one is going to be reasonably short, “Death Bed” was a song that I liked originally, the content of the song is about a young man who is slowly dying and is talking to his partner about doing things with this partner and potentially meeting up with the person in whatever comes next after they die, it’s a lo fi hip hop song that at first was one that I was ambivalent on and willing to give a pass to when it first hit the ARIA singles chart.

However it took hearing this song one too many times on the radio to realize that there was one misconceived element of the song that was getting really distracting and really annoying…that element being Beabadoobee’s crooning behind Powfu’s verses which really took me out of the song and didn’t match at all with Powfu’s rather bleak verses. 

Ordinarily a song where there is just one element that does not work would not normally throw a song this high on a worst list but the crooning that ruins what could have potentially been a great song is disappointing.

There is an open question about whether external factors behind this next song are fuelling my hatred of it but yeah there is enough to the song that fuels the hatred So therefore…

4. “Say So” by Doja Cat

I didn’t want to put this song here…really…but I’ve never ever come to the conclusion that Doja Cat sounds good over that washed out and rather cheap sounding 80s style production that Daft Punk could do better with, she sounds harsh especially over that final verse, it’s not pleasant to listen to and given I think Doja Cat has a fair bit of talent, the production here is a shame.

As for the lyrics…they are your standard friend who is in love with Doja Cat and Doja wants this friend to tell her how he really feels rather than wasting time by beating around the bush which is fine but maybe this friend isn’t ready to admit he is in love with her, feels like she is trying to force it out of him rather than letting it be a natural moment when the other person is ready as well.

Then there are the external factors that push this song so high up on this list, the man who ruined Kesha’s career produced this song and the fact he can get a song with this limp beat that apparently pleased everyone this year makes me angry especially in light of the Me Too movement which somehow hasn’t taken a broad swipe at the music industry yet apart from ending the career of R. Kelly. Dr L*** career revival also saw him produce a song on that last posthumous Juice WRLD album which also become a hit. 

Fuck Dr L***.

Right foot up, left foot slide into the fucking bin, Drake.

3, “Toosie Slide” by Drake

There was absolutely no reason for Drake to make this song. None. He had his trap dance hits with both “Nice For What” and “In My Feelings” in 2018, there was no need for him to try to capitalise on people being at home bored during the pandemic but we got this fart of a song instead. Let us begin with the fact that this song is really only worth the 30 second Tik Tok meme where Drake sings “Left foot up, right foot slide. Right foot up, left foot slide. Basically, I am saying either way we ‘bout to slide, ayy”. That’s it… there is nothing else to it.” Nutbush City Limits” and “YMCA”, this is not.

At least both “Nutbush City Limits” and “YMCA” have a groove and energy to them that make doing the dances associated with those two songs fun, “Toosie Slide” has this monotonous trap beat that sounds so lethargic and tired which I find absolutely bizarre as in 2020, popular music is moving away from the tired and stale trap sound and really just showed that Drake wanted to show that there was still room in the marketplace for lame songs that could have been Vine videos in 2015/16. 

NEXT…

In my past top ten worst hit songs of a given year you might have noticed that I have a distaste for shitty cover songs….well 2020 did have one song that somehow become a hit much to my horror…

2. “Put Your Records On” by Ritt Momney

I am not a fan of the original “Put Your Records On” by Corinne Bailey Rae…just too cloying and sweet for me but at no stage did anyone ask for a guy with the worst stage name since Lil Dicky to cover “Put Your Records On” and sap the warmth and sunshine out of the song with the trap percussion, it’s clunky, ugly and Ritt Momney having a voice that sits somewhere between having a head cold and a broken cassette tape that’s somehow still playing but break the damn tape deck.

Also the fact that Momney turned this song that was originally smooth and breezy empowerment song  into a choppy hook up song from a male perspective that comes across as completely awkward and comes nowhere near close to being smooth enough to fit the mood he is going for. 

This song is a clattering wall of noise that is not only uncomfortable to listen to but gets rather god damn unpleasant however it’s not the worst hit song of the year but before we find out what is…let’s go through some obligatory dishonourable mentions, shall we?

DHM1: “Yummy” by Justin Bieber

Yeeahhh, “Yummy” is still a bad song, it’s dated, lazy and shows that Justin Bieber hasn’t evolved or changed as an artist by dipping into dated trends from 2016/17 to sing about how yummy his wife’s vagina is. Somehow after hearing this song a few times, I do not blame DJ Khaled for refusing to eat pussy because there’s nothing here that makes the idea even vaguely attractive and Bieber’s squawking delivery just sets my teeth on edge and the fact that this crap got nominated for a Grammy says a lot about the joke the Grammys are.

Also, Justin…not signing a prenup is a silly idea…just saying…

DHM 2: “Falling” by Trevor Daniel

Yeah of the newcomers to hit the charts, Trevor Daniel is the least impressive of the lot and this song is just a trap clunker that Trevor Daniel just sounds off key on. Enough said. Next!

DHM 3: “Party Girl” by StaySolidRocky

Well this guy can be placed in the hall of one hit wonders because after this trap garbage, his career has gone nowhere…for good reason. “Party Girl” is your typically independent girl at the party who likes drugs and guns and apparently does not need anyone. Looks like everyone else decided that they did not need StaySolidRocky beyond this song as he has released other songs, but they’ve not hit the charts. Good riddance.

DHM 4: “Life is Good” by Future and Drake

Well this is a mess that only got worse as the year went on. Future has never been good in his lane of mumble rap under a thick smear of autotune. This song diverts into Drake’s usual playground of concern trolling women and complaining he can’t do his taxes because he is too turnt up. Geez. Let’s hope for better from both but especially Drake given his glorified simp album is coming in January..

DHM 5: “What’s a Man Gotta Do?” by the Jonas Brothers

Yeah this one has one of the most annoying hooks I’ve heard on a pop song in ages and the writing is so fucking corny, it makes my skin crawl, its like they glanced through other songs grabbed at lyrics and mashed them into this one pulsing headache of a song. Sorry guys, I won’t be grabbing you by the collar any time soon

Back to the list and the number one, I think I’ve signalled my pick for top spot enough in 2020, a song that makes me quiver with rage at how ugly the lyrics are and how lazy the production is…”Yummy” wasn’t the worst song that Justin Bieber released in 2020, guys…fight the real enemy…

1. “Intentions” by Justin Bieber feat. Quavo

This song underlines and underpins the ugly and regressive themes and attitudes about women on Justin Bieber’s abortion of an album “Changes” that he released in February and the fact that this became a hit is infuriating but not surprising that Bieber would turn to writing a song aimed at making Evangelical Christian style gender roles/stereotypes seem attractive to young women (alarming when you consider how much of his fanbase is young women).

Let’s start with the lyrics that border on being close to Train at their absolute worst to absolutely asinine, for a start “Heart full of equity, you’re an asset” is nowhere near close to being as sexy as Bieber thinks it is and only served to remind me that I needed to file my taxes and yet Bieber put it on the hook of a love song for his WIFE.

There is also ‘Stay in the kitchen cookin' up, got your own bread” Bieber intends his wife to be a 1950s housewife the typically demure way of staying home and cooking her own bread. Now it’s fine if she WANTS to stay home but what if that isn’t what she wants for her life and that’s before we get to the first verse where Bieber shouts out her parents for having sex and conceiving her which is just all sorts of ick…imagine going up to your partner’s parents and saying “Oh congratulations on making your son/daughter, he or she is a beauty”? Ewww.

What is more Bieber wants to give his girl’s parents a standing ovation for the way they raised her. Who the hell are you to judge on parenting, Bieber?

The line that says everything I need to know about how overwhelmingly shitty the lyrics are is this line in the second verse where he sings that she doesn’t need no sponsor because she’s the brand now like his wife is just some inanimate object with logos all over, she isn’t a fucking trophy!

Quavo comes in with this nothing of a verse where even he sounds like he would rather be eating tacos or doing anything other than appearing on this gutless turd of a song where the production is this spluttering mess with hi hats and percussion that doesn’t much the frankly icky vibe of the song and says a lot about the mess that was Justin Bieber’s “music” in 2020 so for all that “Intentions” by Justin Bieber feat. Quavo is the worst hit song of 2020.

Top Ten Worst Hit Songs of 2000

 So here we are at the end of another retro chart year and honestly, 2000 was a pretty good year...we got some classic hit songs and likely one hit wonders, the best stuff in 2000 was really good but today we're discussing the bottom of the barrel...the absolute worst that 2000 on the ARIA singles chart had to offer and for the most part most of the songs are from badly produced pop that hadn't aged well, r'n'b and hip hop that was either sleazy or hilariously badly written and even rock and country striking out and believe me, a few choices here will be controversial (there's at least three songs here I can think of that will piss people off)

Let's quickly go over the rules:

1. To make this list, the song has to have made the ARIA year end list for 2000

2. Being boring cannot be a factor, a song must annoy or irritate me in some form to make this list.

3. If a song made the 1999 year end list and peaked higher on the 2000 year end list than it's also eligible.

You got that? Good. Let us begin this list of bad with one question, Jennifer Lopez, what the fuck were you thinking?

10. “Let’s Get Loud” by Jennifer Lopez

As somebody who mostly can tolerate Jennifer Lopez, there’s a part of me that wants to be benevolent and leave this song off the list but I can’t, this song drives me up the wall every time I hear it…that repetitive chorus that borders on the line of being annoying to obnoxious, the gang vocals that seem louder than J Lo is in the mix with their omnipresent yelps of “Hey!” and the lyrics that try to turn music into a metaphor for an empowerment anthem…all I can say J Lo, is if I was wanting to get loud, I’d be turning up songs that are much better than this attempt at empowerment via annoyance.

Jennifer Lopez would go onto further success in the 2000s before her career really kind of sputtered out a bit and has reverted to releasing songs mostly in Spanish…doesn’t stop “Let’s Get Loud” from being annoying as all hell.

 

So you might remember that in my 1998 best list, I praised “The Boy is Mine” by Brandy and Monica, well just two years later there’s a song that goes in a similar direction and does it so completely wrong, it’s nearly hilarious.

 

9. “He Wasn’t Man Enough” by Toni Braxton

This song is just embarrassing from Toni Braxton, it paints her as this capricious catty diva who has just found out her man is married to another woman but instead of handling it with class by ending the relationship and just moving on herself, Braxton tries to interfere in his relationship with his wife by telling her she can have him because he wasn’t ‘man enugh’ for her but is just the man for this other woman like she knows what this other woman wants from a man and Braxton declaring that she has already ‘had’ this man is enough for me to turn this garbage off, it’s toxic in an unpleasant way and the production doesn’t even acknowledge the toxicity…it’s too bright and doesn’t sell the drama so yeah…pass…at least “Unbreak My Heart” is good.

Speaking of relationship songs…this next one goes the other way to a point of being so gooey, it’s positively rainbows and lollipops to an almost sickening degree.

 

8. “Amazed” by Lonestar

This song is the only ‘country’ (if you can call it that) song to make the year end list for 2000 and in a way I get the feeling this song was one of the reasons behind why we rarely ever see country music hit the top 50 of the ARIA charts anymore because wow, this song when not being cliched, is corny, sugary and gooey to the point of making me want to vomit.

Lyrically the song reminds me of how absurd “I don’t Wanna miss a thing” by Aerosmith was in singing about love from a year earlier except toeing a line between corny and ridiculous in the lyrical department while being completely bland in the instrumentation, for a start, “Every little thing that you do, Baby I’m amazed by you”…Dude, I am pretty sure not every little thing she does is amazing, unless she farts rainbows and releases unicorns into the toilet when she poops which is extremely unlikely however it’s an example of how cloying and over reaching the lyrics are.

Another example is he wants to spend the whole night in her eyes…I’m sure burning an imprint of you into this poor girl’s retinas is fucking impossible. This song is ewww in every which way..

 

Remember when I said the Spice Girls should have went their separate ways after “Viva Forever”? Well here is the proof of that…

 

7. “Holler” by Spice Girls

The Spice Girls decided to drop the pop that made them global superstars and go for a popular R’n’B aesthetic and “Holler” is an example of why it did not work, the Spice Girls were known for being boisterous and very in your face with cheeky colourful pop music that established the very different personalities of the women involved, “Holler’ not only is bland from an R’n’B perspective but strips away the personalities of the four remaining members of the band as they sing about wanting this guy to come into their world and play by their rules so they can make him scream and it honestly combined with the production, I don’t think the guy would at all be enticed.

Especially when we get to the middle act of the song where it’s the girls and this male voice spewing the word “Holler” and other nonsense, its actually really creepy to a degree and again defeats the purpose of this song’s attempt to be sexy and lure this guy into their world so he can “holler” for them.

It’s also worth pointing out that only Mel C and Mel B sound even vaguely close to good over that beat. Emma and Victoria just don’t fit…yeah…I’ll stick to “Stop” and “Say You’ll be There” for my Spice Girls fix

Well now we get into where electronic music got completely annoying….

 

6. “Freestyler” by Bomfunk MCs

This song was irritating the first time I heard it in 2000, now it’s irritating with a capital I, that sound of what might be a rooster having it’s balls wrenched off with no anaesthetic in the back of the mix and the fact the song instrumentation wise sounds like it just wants to be a knock off Fat Boy Slim who did this sort of sound better in the 90s with “Praise You” and “Weapon of Choice”… however “Freestyler” manages to incorporate the annoying elements through the song including gang vocals that sound like a person about to start dry retching into a toilet however it’s the vocals solidly kill this track, the lead vocals have no flow and are so smug they grate on every single nerve and that’s before you realize the song itself makes about as much sense as Donald Trump being US President.

By the way, the rooster having his balls wrenched off returns at the end of the song just to make my headache from this wall of noise even worse. Next.

Now we’re hitting proof that 2000 couldn’t escape the trends of the 90s…1996 had a myriad of covers, several of which made my year end worst list for that year, unfortunately we weren’t completely free of covers in 2000 and the only question that I need to ask Madonna is WHY?

5. “American Pie” by Madonna

I can argue that 2000 was a bad year for Madonna, sure she got two hits on the year end list…this being one, the other we’ll get to but this cover of Don McLean’s “American Pie” is here because she turned a song that is about the loss of innocence in music with the line “the day the music died” being about the 1959 plane crash that killed big popular music names of the time Buddy Holly, The Big Bopper and Ritchie Valens into this colourless albeit shortened slice of pop music that reduces Madonna to singing in a flat monotone for most of the song, she doesn’t sound good and takes away a lot of the texture and resonance of the original version by McLean.

Mercifully, we’ve all moved on from and forgotten about this awful cover, certainly don’t hear it played on the radio, but we’ve got more Madonna to deal with a bit later on this list, folks…stick around…

 

Remember when R’n’B songs about sex were sexy and had a recognisable groove…something this next act forgot…

 

4. “Thong Song” by Sisqo

This is a little lower on the list than I had thought it would be originally and that’s mostly because I find what’s in front of it intolerable but yeah “Thong Song” is a sleazy arse song that was approximately fourteen years ahead of its time with its unimaginative chorus and Sisqo sounding about as smooth as a car driving over humps in a shopping mall carpark which makes sense for a song about a woman’s arse…NOT!.

That said it’s not like he actually gets any sort of melody or rhythm to work with ditching the intro’s violin for the overuse of heavy percussion as Sisqo nasally goes on about a scandalous dress this woman is wearing and then uses the chorus to beg her to let him see her thong, it’s sleazy, leering and pretty god damn unpleasant to listen to so yeah…let’s quickly move on from this turd like the world moved on from this guy having a career…NEXT..

 

Rock on the ARIA singles chart was in a bit of a mess, depending on your definition of rock, we had Bon Jovi, Matchbox Twenty, U2 and these guys…

 

3. “Take a Look Around” by Limp Bizkit.

Oh dear god…Limp Bizkit were one of the worst bands of 2000 and this song is the perfect example of why. “Take a Look around” pairs a sample that basically sounds like the Mission Impossible theme and pair it with the bratty whiny rapping of Fred Durst who sounds buried in the mix on the verses, at least the guitars somewhat shred of a tolerable chorus when Durst isn’t trying to scream and really Durst is the one who just makes this song and Limp Bizkit’s presence on Australia’s music charts in the early part of the new millennium intolerable and I blame them, Creed and Nickelback for why rock has next to no presence on the charts in 2020.

 

2000 saw many female pop starlets hit the charts, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Billie Piper amongst others and for the most part their songs were good to objectively fine then Jessica Simpson showed up.

2. “I Think I’m in Love with You” by Jessica Simpson

Of the early 2000s female pop set, Jessica Simpson was one of the weakest, her first hit “I’m Gonna Love You Forever” is not good and only just barely missed the top ten proper but “I Think I’m I Love With You” just pisses me off wholesale. For one thing, why use a classic riff from John ‘Cougar’ Mellencamp’s 1980s classic “Jack & Diane” (a song I actually love) if all Jessica Simpson was just to coo and shout all over it? She hasn’t got the grit in her vocals to handle the sample, she hasn’t got the rock edge that say a Avril Lavigne would later have. For another, the lyrics are asinine, just because this guy looked her in the eyes does not mean he is reciprocating what she is feeling, making eye contact is part of how humans communicate nonverbally, Jessica!

This song is just lame and really given how Jessica Simpson would go on to have a brief period of prominence by playing the part of a stupid ditz on a terrible “reality TV” show, she’s mostly been forgotten but she left this turd with skidmarks as a memory of her time on the charts.

Before we discuss the worst hit song of 2000, lets race through some dishonourable mentions, shall we?

DHM 1: “B-Boys & Flygirls” by Bomfunk MCs

The follow up to “Freestyler” isn’t as bad but those vocals are absolute garbage, going for the cheesy sports announcer vocal style does not work for me at all.

 

DHM 2: “I Wanna Love You Forever” by Jessica Simpson

This is mediocre as hell and with overwrought lyrics like “ten thousand lifetimes together”. Jessica, we only have ONE lifetime, you are overplaying your hand with that lyric. Only got left off the list because “I Think I’m in Love with You” is considerably worse.

 

DHM 3: “Who Let the Dogs Out” by the Baha Men

Novelty song that has not aged as well as you’d like to remember it. Missed the list only because they really have not done too much lasting cultural damage other than occasionally being good for a joke or two.

 

DHM 4: “Jumpin’ Jumpin’” by Destiny’s Child

This is all a bit sleazy and questionable isn’t it? Girls and guys, leave your significant other to go to the club that’s jumpin’ jumpin’ for a night of presumably wild sex with another person and that production is just…no…

 

DHM 5: “Who the Hell Are You?” by Madison Avenue

Yeah…Madison Avenue’s 15 minutes of fame had hit their 13^th minute when this song hit number one. The production is a mess and Cheyne Coates can’t pull off sounding angry, she just sounds sleazy or like she’s had a long night at the club…

 

So what’s the number one worst hit song of 2000? For as much as “I Think I’m in Love with You” and “Take A Look Around” make me angry, it just wasn’t going to be anything else other than this affront to “Music”

1.       “Music” by Madonna.

This song is unlistenable and one of the worst hit songs of Madonna’s career, its not quite as bad as the dirge called “Bitch, I’m Madonna” she released in 2015 with Nicki Minaj but man it’s close. A song weirdly called “Music” that just sounds nothing close to being music and more like a group of people who came together to produce the world’s worst hearing test disguised as a song with it’s beeps and that clunky as hell vocoder noise.

Then we’ve got Madonna begging the DJ to put another record on because she wants to dance with her lover…let’s hope the DJ didn’t put this on because it’s not even vaguely close having a groove to dance to and Madonna’s assertion that music brings people together…well good music brings people together…not this absolute atrocity that was allowed to squat at number one for four weeks.

The worst part is that it all feels like Madonna made this in an attempt to compete with Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera who were making better pop music than this…I’ll stick to “Just Like a Peayer” and “Into the Groove”, thanks Madge and bestow the honour of the worst hit song of 2000 on “Music” Instead.

The Top Ten Worst Hit Songs of 2019

We have reached the end of 2019, so it is time to discuss the hit songs that actively pissed me off during this year. 2019 is a difficult year to find the absolute worst in popular music mostly because a lot of it while not great was pretty good and others relatively inoffensive that I was just ambivalent toward, I really enjoyed this year music wise, however it also meant the absolutely terrible hit songs stuck out like sore thumbs and need to their rotting fleshy carcasses dealt with however I will say I am not as angry toward some of these as they aren’t worth the hatred as there was MUCH worse that didn’t chart (looking at you Liam Payne, Zac Brown Band and AJR)

My rules for this list are simple, the songs must have made their debut on the year end list for 2019 to be considered, overplayed on the radio cannot be a factor for making this list, a song has to actively piss me off with its content or the actual music to make it

.

Also I have decided to introduce a new rule, if a song that made the 2018 year end list hits the 2019 year end list higher then that’s eligible for this list too.

Let’s get this show started with a song I am certain I am the only person that changed the station when it came on the radio because I was so tired of it

10. I’m So Tired” by Lauv and Troye Sivan

I loved Troye Sivan’s 2018 album “Bloom” however this song just drives me up the wall every single god damn time I hear it, it’s a song where Lauv and Sivan complain that they are “so tired of love songs” that they just want to go home and how sick they are of people falling in love to their song. Seriously? If a song makes that connection for somebody to falling in love that’s honestly a great thing. The second verse goes through how clingy this guy is, there’s a vague element of creepy here and that shines through in the production with its minimalist and uninteresting close to trap music sound that by the way is so played out in modern music.

If you can get past how creepy the vocals and the production is on this song than good for you…I guess but I can’t…this song blows…time to move on…

This next song is from a group that really disappointed me in 2019, this band released a song earlier in the decade that might just make my top ten best hit songs of the decade, but I can’t lie when they disappointed me, they disappointed me hard and boy did they disappoint in 2019

9. “Rescue Me” by OneRepublic

It’s hard to believe OneRepublic have gone from pop rock anthems like “Counting Stars” and “Love Runs Out” to “Rescue Me” mostly because both “Counting Stars” and “Love Runs Out” sees OneRepublic front man Ryan Tedder exude some charisma and genuine personality on both songs that make them infectious and danceable however “Rescue Me”  can’t enter the pantheon  Tedder sounds monotonous and lacking any sort of fire or passion on the hook and as for the production, the instrumentation sounds like its trying to connect three or four different songs, it just doesn’t work at all and this was another instant radio station changer when this come on, it’s a painfully tired song and OneRepublic are capable of so much better.

Speaking of capable of so much better, two genuine pop music popstars get together for a collaboration and come up with this?

8. “I Don’t Care” by Ed Sheeran and Justin Bieber

It ought to be a crime to have Ed Sheeran and Justin Bieber on a song together and neither of them show more personality or charisma than a cake of soap and much like Ryan Tedder on “Rescue Me”, they sound like they would rather be anywhere else than dancing with their baby, these two sound like they are having as much fun as a couple of kids in detention writing “I must not sing “Yummy” during maths”

Also not helping is the production lacking any kind of groove or energy. The only energy about this song is what sounds like a monkey jacked up on sleeping pills and Red Bull.

Given what Justin Bieber has released this year so far, its safe to say he will be on this list again not that he’d care all that much.

So after “Meant to Be” in 2018, country and pop combining continued to be a thing with Dan and Shay’s “10,000 Hours” feat. Justin Bieber which while boringly nauseating didn’t make my blood run cold however I can’t say the same for this EDM-country mess, Marshmello, PLEASE EXPLAIN?

7. “One Thing Right” by Marshmello feat. Kane Brown

After the “Meant to Be” clusterfuck of 2018, I would have thought pop and country would have learned that this kind of thing has more chance of sounding terrible than any good but EDM producer Marshmello not getting the message with this attempt at EDM country ‘rock’ with that awful squealing guitar during the breakdown that just sends a cold chill down my back and my teeth on edge every time I hear it.

The production means Kane Brown has to deliver the lyrics in this flat monotone not that it really matters because the lyrics are the 2019 version of Hoobastank’s “The Reason” with all the sickening subtext as well, if you’ve cheated on and lied to her, Kane, why the hell is she sticking around? She should have packed up and left you ages ago.

This song got played over any number of women in country and independent artists on US country radio and added to the unnecessary maligning of country music as a whole.

Marshmello can go away any time he likes as far as I am concerned.

So my thoughts on this band in recent days have been overwhelmingly positive in light of the release of their most recent single on Thursday so in order to figure out why they are making this list, you have to go back to the first single from this upcoming album…

6. “Easier” by 5 Seconds of Summer

My anger at this song is kind of diluted by the fact that “Teeth” was pretty good and their new single “No Shame” is excellent however it makes “Easier” a massive disappointment because there was so much potential to this song instead the production sounds like the three producers on this track Louis Bell, Andrew Watt, andCharlie Puth intermixed four sounds into one and it sounds TERRIBLE.

Luke’s falsetto on this song is ear grating, granted it’s much better on “No Shame” but that doesn’t excuse how awful “Easier” is on the ear which draws attention to the lyrics which draw into this toxic relationship where he doesn’t want to find out the answer if its easier to stay or go because this girl is beautiful…a girl being beautiful is NOT a good enough reason to stay in a bad relationship, this is the sort of relationship that sinks toward being in emotionally abusive territory. Definitely not a good song,

Look, this next guy has been a plague on the music scene for the entirety of the 2010s and what is worse some people want to crown this person as a king of R’n’B despite many of his albums during the past decade being bloated atrocities yet somehow this over rated and overtly decorated clown still somehow has a music career,

5. “No Guidance” by Chris Brown and Drake

So somehow everyone, who in recent days has been lining up to give Justin Bieber a pass for a generic plague dispenser of a lazy, slapdash album which they shouldn’t. has declared Chris Brown a legend and wanting to bestow some kind of “king of ‘r’n’b’ crown, two titles that he does not deserve as his songs are mostly drizzled with autotune or absolutely gross eg: 2017 single “No Privacy” or his 2018 hit with “rapper” Lil Dicky “Freaky Friday” (which should have made my worst list in 2018). This song is an absolute slog to sit through with its bland beat as Brown continues to show his terrible attitude toward women by gaslighting young women into having sex with him. Ew.

What is not much better is there’s no chemistry or interesting word play by either Drake or Brown has they sloppily try to hook up with a girl through layers of autotune. Chris Brown is no king of R’n’B and Drake will most likely continue to be the most over exposed music star in the world next to Ariana Grande (we’ll get to her) while inspiring Justin Bieber to shit out mediocrity

Oh boy…this song has been piled on by plenty of people and originally, I wasn’t one of them however with the passing of time I have realized my mistake and that Lewis Capaldi was committing crimes against good music.

4. “Someone You Loved” by Lewis Capaldi

Here we have the most overwrought song to become a hit since Whitney Houston’s ghastly cover of “I Will Always Love You” (have to slaughter one sacred cow) but unlike Whitney Houston, Lewis Capaldi sounds like he is just perpetually in pain after one too many kicks to the scrotum while on a bender which makes “Somebody Like You” intolerable at least from a vocal standpoint, the only saving grace for Capaldi is that at least he has more charisma than Justin Bieber.

This song is toxic in the worst way possible, it only reinforces what this girl did without any balance to indicate why she maybe did what she did to end the relationship and the song just comes off sounding like Capaldi whining over this really dreary piano. Yeah, I might have liked this song when it first came out but yeah repeated listens to it on the radio soured me on this toxic, whiny mess in no time at all and if “Before You Go” makes the year end for 2020, we might well be talking about Capaldi again. Joy.

So let’s get to a regular on a year-end worst list…Halsey. Now much like 5 Seconds of Summer, she has released a decent song off her new album “Manic” as her new single and it is currently sitting in the top 5 but if you all remember, in 2019, she released this…

3. “Without Me” by Halsey

This song was never going to top this list but oh boy, this song has so many issues, it’s hard to know where to begin, the production is this watery mess that’s not got enough gravitas to carry any of the melodrama that Halsey is trying to sell with all the enthusiasm of a seven year old child trying to avoid hugging that uncle who smells of cigarettes and stale farts.

The content of the song though is the reason that this song is so high up on this list where Halsey claims she was the one who carried presumably G-Eazy to the top which I doubt considering he was doing well on the charts before those two started dating, it’s got this veneer of ego and lack of self-awareness that makes this song frankly really toxic and paints Halsey in a pretty ordinary light. I have no use for this song.

Now we get to somebody I never imagined I would be putting on a year end worst list but it was the first song of 2019 that I took an instant dislike too and well…

2. “7 Rings” by Ariana Grande

Man, I was really starting to like Ariana Grande and she goes and releases this awful trap ridden garbage that her cooing sounds terrible over which features an interpolation of “My Favourite Things” from Sound of Music? I mean come on Ariana, you are better than this especially when “Into You”, “Love Me Harder”, “No Tears Left to Cry” and even “Dangerous Woman” exist!

Also the message of the song is a horrific one, if you feel sad, go out and spend a tonne of money because Ariana’s fans all have parents who are loaded with money and can afford to let their kids splash out on a new doll or whatever because they are feeling sad. Capitalism isn’t something we can revert to whenever we are feeling miserable, Ariana, that isn’t healthy for anyone.

This is a gross and frankly awful song that hopefully will be forgotten about but its not my number one so what could possibly be worse than what I’ve already spoken about?

My number one song reflects how toxic the world is right now in all kinds of ways, this guy should never had a top ten hit with this nor should this have been excused by so many people.

1.       1. "Hot Girl Bummer” by Blackbear

This song just shouldn’t exist, it just shouldn’t and the fact this song became a bigger hit in Australia than the song it rode the magic carpet off that being “Hot Girl Summer” by Megan Thee Stallion feat. Nicki Minaj and Ty Dolla $ign is a crime worthy of having somebody locked in Long Bay jail for and the fact he dropped this cheap crappy synth and trap slog makes me question whether hip hop and popular music have any god damn standards anymore.

The implication that all these girls that Blackbear is meeting with at this party are stupid and cheat every Thursday unlike him, the stench of rising crappy misogyny rising from this stinky turd is actually intolerable especially as Blackbear is the one painting himself as somebody who would never cheat and oh he is too big to fit in a condom. I mean please that is gross.

At the end of the day, this song is the pissy, disgusting kind of garbage the charts can ill afford, worst hit song of 2019 and if we’re lucky, Blackbear will fade into relative obscurity.