2000 Sound: 27th February: Bloke hits the Pure Shores of number 1

So this week is quieter but we still have some big stories mostly centred around our top ten where there's yet another new number one and a new entry that debuted in the top 5 so let's get to that new number one which is somehow..."Bloke" by Chris Franklin...yeah the comedy song snags number one on the back of an extraordinary sales week.

Killing Heidi remain at number two with their former chart topper "Mascara" while last week's number one "I Try" by Macy Gray dropped two places to number three.

Stability kings and queens S Club 7 maintained their hold on number four with "S Club Party".

There's new entry for UK girl group All Saints with "Pure Shores" in at number five. This song is likely to be big, folks, it pushed Len's "Steal My Sunshine" back to number six

Eiffel 65 hit the top ten with their follow up single "Move Your Body" rising four places to number seven forcing both Vanessa Amorosi's "Absolutely Everybody" and Boundhound Gang's "The Bad Touch" back two places to eight and nine respectively

Finally Christina Aguilera's "What A Girl Wants" dropped one place to number ten.

Gains

Some big gains across the board this week with American punk band Blink 182 up from 35 to 21 with "All the Small Things" while Backstreet Boys are up 12 places to 20 with "Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely"

Shania Twain's "Don't Be Stupid (You Know I Love You)" bounced up nine places to 32.

Taxiride's "Can You Feel?" is being felt by people as it rose ten places to 35.

Re-Entries

We have three re-entries with the best of them being Britney Spears "From the Bottom of My Broken Heart" at 37.

Robbie Williams "Angels" is back at 40 while Filter's "Take A Picture makes its return at 41.

Losers

"Will 2K" by Will Smith took a hard plunge from 28 to 43 this week as did another former top ten hit "Waiting for Tonight" by Jennifer Lopez which fell from 33 to 35.

Sister2Sister's "Sister" fell 11 places to 48 as did Moby's "Why Does My Heart Feel So Bad?" as it hit 50

28 Days "Here We Go" dropped ten places to 31 while "Smooth" by Santana and Rob Thomas dropped nine places to 36.

New Entries

All Saints snagged highest debut of the week with "Pure Shores" in at number five.

The only other new entry comes from Vengaboys with "Kiss (When the Sun Don't Shine)" in at number 17.

ARIA Singles Top Ten/Chart Review: 24th February. Not so Blinded by Bieber

So this week felt weird especially as this week actually felt like a pretty normal week especially as Justin Bieber's album impact felt muted, it did impact the chart especially in the top ten but he only got one new song among the six new entries this week, kind of telling about what the general public thinks about "Changes" as a whole really however it wasn't just Bieber who made an impact on the top ten so let's get to that, shall we?

The Weeknd spends a fifth week at number one with "Blinding Lights" and right now I'm not seeing what challenges it. "Don't Start Now" by Dua Lipa remains at number two but its falling back on streaming and sales, it could get overtaken by "Intentions" by Justin Bieber feat. Quavo which unfortunately netted a ten place gain to hit number three but its sales and streaming are pretty good...let's hope that changes because its less of a love song to a woman but an ode to loving doing property taxes.

Billie Eilish snagged the highest debut of the week with her James Bond theme "No Time to Die" in at number four and I really don't expect this to stick around in the top ten even though it is excellent.

All of this was enough to push "Dance Monkey" by Tones and I back to number five as it gracefully begins its exit from the top ten, its bleeding sales and streams right now.

Also really suffering is "The Box":by Roddy Rich where sales just aren't matching the massive streaming.
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Halsey's "You Should be Sad" dropped two places to number seven as it lost sales and streaming this week which is a little disappointing as this is one of her best singles to date (that might change if "3am" becomes a single, just saying)

Justin Bieber comes up again at number eight with "Yummy" making the biggest gain of the week to return to the top ten. This won't last thankfully, will be gone next week.

Lewis Capaldi falls one spot to number nine with "Before You Go", this should rise next week when the Bieber songs collapse.

Finally "Circles" by Post Malone drops three places to number ten.

Gains

The biggest gainer of the week was Justin Bieber's "Yummy" as I have already talked about getting an eleven place boost to number eight.

Doja Cat's "Say So" rose from 34 to 28...I do not understand the appeal of that song at all.

Losers

Weirdly enough the biggest loser was "10,000 Hours" by Dan and Shay feat. Justin Bieber as it fell 12 places to 49. Would have thought the Justin Bieber association might give it a rise or keep it stable this week,

"South of the Border" by Ed Sheeran feat. Camila Cabello and Cardi slumped 7 places to 47 while most pleasingly "One Thing Right" by Marshmello and Kane Brown plunged 7 spots to 50. Good riddance.

Onefour's "Welcome to Prison" couldn't take advantage of their big debut last week dropping nine places to 42.

Selena Gomez's "Rare" plummeted six to 38 while "Godzilla" by Eminem feat. Juice WRLD fell out of the top ten to 13.

Drop Outs

Two big 2019 drop outs in this category with "Highest in the Room" and "Lose You to Love Me"by Selena Gomez both gone taking with them "German" by No Money Enterprise and "Turn Me On" by Riton feat. Oliver Heldens and Vula.

I am not going to complain that "The Reaper" by The Chainsmokers feat. Amy Shark is gone because that song is just...yikes however I am disappointed but not surprised that "Run" by Joji is gone, it's a good song and deserves to be a hit especially as the ARIA top 50  singles chart has been looking reasonably good so far this with good songs hitting the top ten.

New Entries

So what else hit the chart this week besides "No Time to Die" by Billie Eilish at number four?

Well the only new Justin Bieber song to hit the chart within the top 50 was "Forever" feat. Post Malone and Clever at 29 which might say something about how lazy and cheap "Changes":is as an album.

Sam Smith arrives at 32 with the title track of his upcoming album called "To Die For".,A pretty mid tempo ballad that I kind of like tbh.

American group Surfaces have their first ARIA charting song with "Sunday Best" in at 36. Not at all a fan of this song so I hope it's not a hit.

Saint Jhn is in at 41 with "Roses", a song that's already top ten in the UK. Will it do the same in the Australia.

Finally after enormous radio push "Maniac" by Conan Gray is into the top 50 at 45 securing Gray his first song in the ARIA top 50.

So I am not expecting many BTS songs to hit the chart, we might get "On" but that's about it, we'll see what happens when the chart is updated on Saturday at 5pm AEDT

ARIA Singles Top Ten/Chart Review: 17th February

This week may not mean much given the shake up that may come next week either courtesy of FireFight Australia concert (look at the current Australian iTunes chart...it's a mess) or (what might well be pretty unlikely given data) Justin Bieber album bomb thanks to "Changes" plus Billie Eilish released her James Bond theme called "No Time to Die" so next week could get pretty messy.

Anyway that's next week, we need to look at this week where it's a fourth week at number one for "Blinding Lights" by The Weeknd and honestly this song is dominant across the board on both streaming and digital sales.

It held on comfortably from Dua Lipa's "Don't Start now which remained at number two as it wasn't able to bridge the gap to "Blinding Lights" on either streaming or digital sales but it remained ahead of "Dance Monkey" by Tones and I which is stuck at number 3 In"The Box" by Roddy Ricch which is glued to number four (those sales numbers need to improve if it's to make a play at number one)

The biggest surprise of the week was Halsey's "You Should be Sad" jumping three places to number 5. I don't expect this song to stay in the top 5 not with Billie Eilish likely to debut top 5 however it pushed past "Godzilla" by Eminem and Juice WRLD down to number 6..

"Circles" by Post Malone continues to go nowhere and remains at number 7,

Sadly, the worst song in the top ten also went up one this week that being "Before You Go" by Lewis Capaldi at number eight, he managed to make "Someone You Loved" even worse at the Brit awards by claiming it was about his GRANDMOTHER...yikes.

Billie Eilish jumped one place to number nine while Tones and I's "Never Seen the Rain" jumped one place to number 10.

Gains

Quite surprisingly "Live in Life" by The Rubens jumped from 46 to 35 this week, this song has some traction so I guess we'll see what happens.

"Say So" by Doja Cat rose nine places to 34.


Losers

We had quite a few losers this week with the biggest being "One Thing Right" by Marshmello and Kane Brown finally on it's way out falling eleven places to 43.

Another 2019 hit finally on the way out is "Senorita" by Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello which fell from 39 to 46 while "South of the Border" by Ed Sheeran, feat. Cabello and Cardi B dropped seven places to 40.

"Turn Me On" by Riton feat. Oliver Heldens and Vula dropped ten places to 50 while "Highest in the Room" by Travis Scott dropped to 41 from 34.

Drop Outs

Two big drop outs with the pretty good "Piece of Your Heart" by Meduza and Goodboys gone after 36 weeks on the chart however it's good riddance to the worst hit song of 2019 "Hot Girl Bummer" by Blackbear.
"Watermelon Sugar" by Harry Styles is also gone taking "Eleven" by Khalid and "Only the Young" by Taylor Swift with it.

New Entries

Justin Bieber has the highest new entry of the week with "Intentions" feat. Quavo at 13 and giving it's doing well on sales and streaming expect this to go top ten next week. Joy (sarcasm).

Khalid and Disclosure are back with a new song called "Know Your Worth" in at 31 while OneFour are in at 33 with "Welcome to Prison"

In perhaps the best news of the week and by a mile the best new song of the five here, "Run" by Joji is in at 39, I don't expect this song to stick around but it'd be fantastic if it did and  became a hit.

Finally Ali Gatie's follow up single "What If I Told You That I Love You" debuts at 49 despite being not much better than background noise.

Anyway I am not sure what we are going to get next week other than the chart being a mess but The Weeknd should keep number one for a fifth week, we'll have to wait til Saturday at 5pm AEDT to find out.

2000s Sound: 20th February: "I Try" retakes number one as the chart is hit by an influx of new entries

We have a wild week in the top ten this week. A new entry debuting in the top ten, one of last week's debuts rising into the top ten but more importantly a change at number one so let's get right down to it.

The change at number one is that former number one "I Try" by Macy Gray has re-taken the top sport after a surprisingly strong sales week which pushed  "Mascara" by Killing Heidi down to number two as sales began to fall off.

What might be the big threat is the big mover and the first of three songs either into the top ten or debuting in the top ten this week with "Bloke" by Chris Franklin rising twelve places to number three. This novelty song has a serious shot at number one sadly.

S Club 7 remained not bothered as "S Club Party" kept going for another week at number four.

Len had a bit of their sunshine taken by Chris Franklin as "Steal My Sunshine" dropped two places to number five.

Vanessa Amorosi's "Absolutely Everybody" remains at number six while Bloodhound Gang got a very bad touch that "The Bad Touch" move down two places to number seven.

Tina Cousins has been praying for this moment as "Pray" rose four places to be the second of the songs into the top ten at number eight.

Christina Aguilera's 'What a Girl Wants" drops two places to number nine while there's a new entry by an eighteen year old American, Jessica Simpson with her single "I Wanna Love You Forever" arriving at number ten and landing highest debut of the week.

Gains

Some fairly limited gains this week with the biggest being for "Bloke" by Chris Franklin up twelve to number 3 as I have already mentioned.

Marc Anthony's "I Need to Know" is up from 32 to 25 this week but that's about it.

Losers

There were some big losers right across the board this week, let's begin at number 28 where we find Will Smith's "Will 2K" after a ten place drop this week.

"Waiting for Tonight" by Jennifer Lopez collapsed 13 places to 33. William Orbit's "Adagio for Strings" slumped 11 places to 34.

Deadstar's "Deeper Water" literally takes a deep plunge on the chart by dropping ten places to 38 while Aleesha Rome is still searching for heaven having dropped nine to 37 with "Search My Heaven". Cwline Dion's "That's the Way it is' dropped nine places to 43.

Cliff Richard's "The Millennium Prayer" had the biggest fall of the week dropping 16 places to 46 and finally TLC's "Dear Lie" dropped nine places to 47.

New Entries

We have an incredibly large number of new entries this week, I already mentioned Jessica Simpson at number ten with "I Wanna Love You forever" however another American blonde pop music youngster Mandy Moore has entered the chart at 16 with the rather catchy "Candy"

Hong Kong born American singer songwriter Coco Lee has her first ARIA chart entry with "Do You Want My Love" at number 20 while punk band 28 Days have the highest debuting Australian entry with "Here We Go at 21"

Oasis declare "Go Let It Out" in at 23.

Country superstar Shania T%wain is back with "Don't Be Stupid (You Know I Love You)" and it's bowed at 41 while Deni Hines arrives at 42 with "Pull Up to the Bumper"

Taxiride are wondering "Can You Feel" at number 45.

Rising American R 'n' B group Destiny's Child enter at 48 with "Say My Name"/

Finally Shaft are in at 50 with "(Mucho Mambo) Sway'

Review: "Changes" by Justin Bieber..

It’s been five years since American popstar Justin Bieber dropped his album “Purpose” which saw Bieber hit the heights of his fame with songs “Love Yourself” hitting number one on the ARIA single charts however Bieber ended up cancelling a world tour citing a need to take a break before suffering addiction and then getting married to his now wife Hailey Baldwin so I thought that there was a big chance that “Changes” could be an interesting listen especially if Justin could channel everything he has been through and drilled into his emotions around events in his life to make an interesting and somewhat fascinating album and given that Justin Bieber was pursuing an R’n’B vibe, I was curious so was “Changes” as interesting as I had hoped?

Well no, we didn’t get anything close to an interesting album sonically or especially lyrically as it seems like Justin Bieber and the bevy of songwriters and producers which included Timbaland, Poo Bear, Ski Mask the Slump God, Travis Scott and Post Malone weren’t interested in making an interesting and diverse album where Justin Bieber opens up about his life, they were more interested in creating an album that’s bereft of effort and sounds like a modern day Chris Brown album without the god damn auto tune plus the same grossness and underlying toxicness of a modern Chris Brown album.

When I say bereft of effort, the lack of effort begins with the sound of this album which basically takes all the bad elements of music from the 2010s and turns a majority this album into a generic slurry of tired trap and pop tropes straight out of the mid to 2010s, “Changes” is nowhere near close to being R’n’B because I will not sit here and believe that this lifeless, passionless, devoid of creativity and lack of energy is supposed to be rhythm and blues music, in my experience with R’n’B listening to the likes of Jhene Aiko or even Usher’s best album back in the day, they had passion, energy, soul and the music while not always perfect showed vision, creativity and a direction/purpose, I can’t say that any of that for “Changes”. Sound wise this album is boring by the time I’d heard “Available”, I was wondering why I was torturing myself.

Every single song bar the last few songs sound the same with the same sounding trap with hints of bass guitar and the occasional synth that fits with nothing on the song for good measure, Bieber is basically doing the Chris Brown meets Drake sound from the mid-2010s in 2020 although it’s not surprising considering how much Bieber has come to Brown’s defence calling him a legend and ‘king of R’n’B and collaborated with Brown to horrendous results.

The last few songs on this album are basically Bieber and an acoustic guitar but they also run together and start feeling like they sound the god damn same, there’s nothing positive to be said about the instrumentation on this thing.

As for the lyrics, I don’t expect Justin Bieber to write music akin to that of a Father John Misty or anyone else but my god, these  lyrics have no emotional depth or pathos to them and follow a very set structure except when there is a collaborator involved on the song, a song like the album’s title track “Changes” where Bieber sings about some days he might push further or not in the verses but then in the chorus sings “I’m goin’ through changes (x3)..Doesn’t mean I’ll change” so if you are going through changes but not willing to make the changes doesn’t mean you are changing at all, Justin, he also doesn’t outline how he is going to change or what changes he has actually made to be a better husband to his wife although when you look at who was behind the song writing, it’s not surprising it’s a clusterfuck given Nasri Atweh was behind Magic’s 2014 hit “Rude!” and Poo Bear recently worked on the cacophonous disaster that was the last Zac Brown band album.

Also if you are expecting a good hook, you are in hard luck, most of the hooks are these repetitive lazily written things that go nowhere close to being memorable except for “Yummy” which I have already talked about at length. 

The lyrical gangbang continues, on “Available” which could be interpreted as this relationship being abusive because Bieber is complaining that she is busy and that she belongs in his bed, you know not working or providing for Bieber so he can live his lifestyle but she should just stay in bed all day as though that is going to pay the bills or pay for groceries etc, there’s this clinginess that infects this song and makes it icky to say the least, this is also the same thing that pervades on “E.T.A” where Bieber is desperate for her to get home or give him her estimated time of arrival presumably so she and him can go to bed, there’s just something borderline abusive about the writing of some of these songs.

Then there’s the most recent single with Quavo (we’ll get to the collaborators on this thing in a moment), “Intentions” where Bieber sings “Heart full of equity, you’re an asset” which could be very much misinterpreted as this girl being Bieber’s property! Also “Stay in the kitchen, cookin’ up, got your own bread”. Hey Justin, it’s 2020, men can make bread to, the kitchen isn’t a space confined to just a woman! The whole song is just cringey and raises a lot of red flags. It’s almost sad that Quavo’s verse while not great is the best part of the song.

So let’s deal with the collaborations, Post Malone’s verse while his worst since “Stoney” is delivered with a passion that doesn’t match anything else on “Forever”, Kehlani is just about the best thing on “Get Me”, Travis Scott clearly decided he was just having an off day and phoned it in on “Second Emotion” and as for Lil Dicky on “Running Over”? Like anyone would expect good quality from Lil Dicky, he slips a basketball reference in all before telling this girl he’ll kiss her breasts all tenderly…ewww.

This album does not deserve the most generic of passes, music has evolved and changed from the sounds that were popular in 2015/16 when Justin released Purpose which at least had a pulse, some passion and creativity behind it, you could at least appreciate songs like “Sorry” and “Love Yourself”, we are moving beyond the trap sound especially as you look at what is ruling iTunes right now, this album is a lazy, generic, slapdash slog that is actually an insult to background noise, don’t punish your friends and family with this, play “Purpose” or even Usher’s albums, they are load better than this and those reviews you Beliebers are reading and most likely pissed at? Those reviews likely had more effort put into them than Justin Bieber or anyone associated with this album put into the writing and recording of it. 

Changes gets a very light 3/10

The Top Ten Worst Hit Songs of 2019

We have reached the end of 2019, so it is time to discuss the hit songs that actively pissed me off during this year. 2019 is a difficult year to find the absolute worst in popular music mostly because a lot of it while not great was pretty good and others relatively inoffensive that I was just ambivalent toward, I really enjoyed this year music wise, however it also meant the absolutely terrible hit songs stuck out like sore thumbs and need to their rotting fleshy carcasses dealt with however I will say I am not as angry toward some of these as they aren’t worth the hatred as there was MUCH worse that didn’t chart (looking at you Liam Payne, Zac Brown Band and AJR)

My rules for this list are simple, the songs must have made their debut on the year end list for 2019 to be considered, overplayed on the radio cannot be a factor for making this list, a song has to actively piss me off with its content or the actual music to make it

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Also I have decided to introduce a new rule, if a song that made the 2018 year end list hits the 2019 year end list higher then that’s eligible for this list too.

Let’s get this show started with a song I am certain I am the only person that changed the station when it came on the radio because I was so tired of it

10. I’m So Tired” by Lauv and Troye Sivan

I loved Troye Sivan’s 2018 album “Bloom” however this song just drives me up the wall every single god damn time I hear it, it’s a song where Lauv and Sivan complain that they are “so tired of love songs” that they just want to go home and how sick they are of people falling in love to their song. Seriously? If a song makes that connection for somebody to falling in love that’s honestly a great thing. The second verse goes through how clingy this guy is, there’s a vague element of creepy here and that shines through in the production with its minimalist and uninteresting close to trap music sound that by the way is so played out in modern music.

If you can get past how creepy the vocals and the production is on this song than good for you…I guess but I can’t…this song blows…time to move on…

This next song is from a group that really disappointed me in 2019, this band released a song earlier in the decade that might just make my top ten best hit songs of the decade, but I can’t lie when they disappointed me, they disappointed me hard and boy did they disappoint in 2019

9. “Rescue Me” by OneRepublic

It’s hard to believe OneRepublic have gone from pop rock anthems like “Counting Stars” and “Love Runs Out” to “Rescue Me” mostly because both “Counting Stars” and “Love Runs Out” sees OneRepublic front man Ryan Tedder exude some charisma and genuine personality on both songs that make them infectious and danceable however “Rescue Me”  can’t enter the pantheon  Tedder sounds monotonous and lacking any sort of fire or passion on the hook and as for the production, the instrumentation sounds like its trying to connect three or four different songs, it just doesn’t work at all and this was another instant radio station changer when this come on, it’s a painfully tired song and OneRepublic are capable of so much better.

Speaking of capable of so much better, two genuine pop music popstars get together for a collaboration and come up with this?

8. “I Don’t Care” by Ed Sheeran and Justin Bieber

It ought to be a crime to have Ed Sheeran and Justin Bieber on a song together and neither of them show more personality or charisma than a cake of soap and much like Ryan Tedder on “Rescue Me”, they sound like they would rather be anywhere else than dancing with their baby, these two sound like they are having as much fun as a couple of kids in detention writing “I must not sing “Yummy” during maths”

Also not helping is the production lacking any kind of groove or energy. The only energy about this song is what sounds like a monkey jacked up on sleeping pills and Red Bull.

Given what Justin Bieber has released this year so far, its safe to say he will be on this list again not that he’d care all that much.

So after “Meant to Be” in 2018, country and pop combining continued to be a thing with Dan and Shay’s “10,000 Hours” feat. Justin Bieber which while boringly nauseating didn’t make my blood run cold however I can’t say the same for this EDM-country mess, Marshmello, PLEASE EXPLAIN?

7. “One Thing Right” by Marshmello feat. Kane Brown

After the “Meant to Be” clusterfuck of 2018, I would have thought pop and country would have learned that this kind of thing has more chance of sounding terrible than any good but EDM producer Marshmello not getting the message with this attempt at EDM country ‘rock’ with that awful squealing guitar during the breakdown that just sends a cold chill down my back and my teeth on edge every time I hear it.

The production means Kane Brown has to deliver the lyrics in this flat monotone not that it really matters because the lyrics are the 2019 version of Hoobastank’s “The Reason” with all the sickening subtext as well, if you’ve cheated on and lied to her, Kane, why the hell is she sticking around? She should have packed up and left you ages ago.

This song got played over any number of women in country and independent artists on US country radio and added to the unnecessary maligning of country music as a whole.

Marshmello can go away any time he likes as far as I am concerned.

So my thoughts on this band in recent days have been overwhelmingly positive in light of the release of their most recent single on Thursday so in order to figure out why they are making this list, you have to go back to the first single from this upcoming album…

6. “Easier” by 5 Seconds of Summer

My anger at this song is kind of diluted by the fact that “Teeth” was pretty good and their new single “No Shame” is excellent however it makes “Easier” a massive disappointment because there was so much potential to this song instead the production sounds like the three producers on this track Louis Bell, Andrew Watt, andCharlie Puth intermixed four sounds into one and it sounds TERRIBLE.

Luke’s falsetto on this song is ear grating, granted it’s much better on “No Shame” but that doesn’t excuse how awful “Easier” is on the ear which draws attention to the lyrics which draw into this toxic relationship where he doesn’t want to find out the answer if its easier to stay or go because this girl is beautiful…a girl being beautiful is NOT a good enough reason to stay in a bad relationship, this is the sort of relationship that sinks toward being in emotionally abusive territory. Definitely not a good song,

Look, this next guy has been a plague on the music scene for the entirety of the 2010s and what is worse some people want to crown this person as a king of R’n’B despite many of his albums during the past decade being bloated atrocities yet somehow this over rated and overtly decorated clown still somehow has a music career,

5. “No Guidance” by Chris Brown and Drake

So somehow everyone, who in recent days has been lining up to give Justin Bieber a pass for a generic plague dispenser of a lazy, slapdash album which they shouldn’t. has declared Chris Brown a legend and wanting to bestow some kind of “king of ‘r’n’b’ crown, two titles that he does not deserve as his songs are mostly drizzled with autotune or absolutely gross eg: 2017 single “No Privacy” or his 2018 hit with “rapper” Lil Dicky “Freaky Friday” (which should have made my worst list in 2018). This song is an absolute slog to sit through with its bland beat as Brown continues to show his terrible attitude toward women by gaslighting young women into having sex with him. Ew.

What is not much better is there’s no chemistry or interesting word play by either Drake or Brown has they sloppily try to hook up with a girl through layers of autotune. Chris Brown is no king of R’n’B and Drake will most likely continue to be the most over exposed music star in the world next to Ariana Grande (we’ll get to her) while inspiring Justin Bieber to shit out mediocrity

Oh boy…this song has been piled on by plenty of people and originally, I wasn’t one of them however with the passing of time I have realized my mistake and that Lewis Capaldi was committing crimes against good music.

4. “Someone You Loved” by Lewis Capaldi

Here we have the most overwrought song to become a hit since Whitney Houston’s ghastly cover of “I Will Always Love You” (have to slaughter one sacred cow) but unlike Whitney Houston, Lewis Capaldi sounds like he is just perpetually in pain after one too many kicks to the scrotum while on a bender which makes “Somebody Like You” intolerable at least from a vocal standpoint, the only saving grace for Capaldi is that at least he has more charisma than Justin Bieber.

This song is toxic in the worst way possible, it only reinforces what this girl did without any balance to indicate why she maybe did what she did to end the relationship and the song just comes off sounding like Capaldi whining over this really dreary piano. Yeah, I might have liked this song when it first came out but yeah repeated listens to it on the radio soured me on this toxic, whiny mess in no time at all and if “Before You Go” makes the year end for 2020, we might well be talking about Capaldi again. Joy.

So let’s get to a regular on a year-end worst list…Halsey. Now much like 5 Seconds of Summer, she has released a decent song off her new album “Manic” as her new single and it is currently sitting in the top 5 but if you all remember, in 2019, she released this…

3. “Without Me” by Halsey

This song was never going to top this list but oh boy, this song has so many issues, it’s hard to know where to begin, the production is this watery mess that’s not got enough gravitas to carry any of the melodrama that Halsey is trying to sell with all the enthusiasm of a seven year old child trying to avoid hugging that uncle who smells of cigarettes and stale farts.

The content of the song though is the reason that this song is so high up on this list where Halsey claims she was the one who carried presumably G-Eazy to the top which I doubt considering he was doing well on the charts before those two started dating, it’s got this veneer of ego and lack of self-awareness that makes this song frankly really toxic and paints Halsey in a pretty ordinary light. I have no use for this song.

Now we get to somebody I never imagined I would be putting on a year end worst list but it was the first song of 2019 that I took an instant dislike too and well…

2. “7 Rings” by Ariana Grande

Man, I was really starting to like Ariana Grande and she goes and releases this awful trap ridden garbage that her cooing sounds terrible over which features an interpolation of “My Favourite Things” from Sound of Music? I mean come on Ariana, you are better than this especially when “Into You”, “Love Me Harder”, “No Tears Left to Cry” and even “Dangerous Woman” exist!

Also the message of the song is a horrific one, if you feel sad, go out and spend a tonne of money because Ariana’s fans all have parents who are loaded with money and can afford to let their kids splash out on a new doll or whatever because they are feeling sad. Capitalism isn’t something we can revert to whenever we are feeling miserable, Ariana, that isn’t healthy for anyone.

This is a gross and frankly awful song that hopefully will be forgotten about but its not my number one so what could possibly be worse than what I’ve already spoken about?

My number one song reflects how toxic the world is right now in all kinds of ways, this guy should never had a top ten hit with this nor should this have been excused by so many people.

1.       1. "Hot Girl Bummer” by Blackbear

This song just shouldn’t exist, it just shouldn’t and the fact this song became a bigger hit in Australia than the song it rode the magic carpet off that being “Hot Girl Summer” by Megan Thee Stallion feat. Nicki Minaj and Ty Dolla $ign is a crime worthy of having somebody locked in Long Bay jail for and the fact he dropped this cheap crappy synth and trap slog makes me question whether hip hop and popular music have any god damn standards anymore.

The implication that all these girls that Blackbear is meeting with at this party are stupid and cheat every Thursday unlike him, the stench of rising crappy misogyny rising from this stinky turd is actually intolerable especially as Blackbear is the one painting himself as somebody who would never cheat and oh he is too big to fit in a condom. I mean please that is gross.

At the end of the day, this song is the pissy, disgusting kind of garbage the charts can ill afford, worst hit song of 2019 and if we’re lucky, Blackbear will fade into relative obscurity.

ARIA Singles Top Ten/chart Review: 10th February

This week's chart seems like a massive come down after the Hottest 100 tore a swathe through it last week and so it meant a few things for our top ten which we will get too.

It meant nothing for our number one which remains 'Blinding Lights" by the Weeknd, this song is turning into a monster on streaming and on sales, it's HUGE right now, I don't see anything getting close to it right now and honestly I am fine with that because its one of The Weeknd's best songs.

Dua Lipa's "Don't Start Now" returned to number two for a fourth week but it's going to need to find some huge growth in sales and streaming from somewhere which may not happen given events which we'll talk about when we get to our new arrivals however it blew past the weakening 'Dance Monkey" by Tones and I which dropped one place to number three as it bleeds on sales and streaming.

Which would make it vulnerable to "The Box" by Roddy Ricch which rose two places to number four but while it's streaming is great, it's not doing much of anything on sales right now.

"Godzilla" by Eminem feat. Juice WRLD remains at number five this mostly because streaming is still decent for this song (honestly I'd like to see this gone from the top ten sooner rather than later).

Now despite my predictions last week of a hard collapse this week, "Bad Guy" by Billie Eilish only fell three places to number six. Shows what a massive song it is been.

Post Malone continues his ridiculous longevity with "Circles" remaining at number seven. This song has done ridiculously well to remain in the top ten for this long.

Now we've come across the biggest gain for the week which is one of the better songs from Halsey's recent album "You Should Be Sad" which jumped from 15 to 8. I'll take that!.

What I am not so thrilled about is Lewis Capaldi getting a second hit with the very mediocre to terrible "Before You Go" jumping from 14 to 9. WHY?

Billie Eilish is releasing her James Bond theme called "No Time to Die" tomorrow at 11am AEDT but her current single "Everything I wanted" is up one place to number 10.

Gains

So outside of Halsey's "You Should Be Sad", what also gained big?. Not much really with "Adore You" by Harry Styles up four to 14 and Doja Cat's "Say So" (which is getting radio traction unfortunately) also up four to 43.

Re-Entry

Just one re-entry with "The Reaper" by The Chsindmokers feat. Amy Shark back at 49...(Let's out a sarcastic "yay")

Losers

The biggest loser of the week was unsurprisingly "Rushing Back" by Flime and Vera Blue which fell from 8 to 20 as interest dropped off following the Hottest 100.other than that it's pretty quiet with most songs that dropped only losing one or two places at most apart from "Watermelon Sugar" by Harry Styles which fell from 36 to 44 and "Piece of Your Heart" by Meduza and Goodboys falling seven to 47.

Drop Outs

Halsey's "Graveyard" finally hit the graveyard for past hits while SHAED fell off the "Trampoline" as that underwhelming song made its exit, those two songs took "Good News" by Mac Miller and "Charlie" by Mallrat with them.

New Entries

So I mentioned Dua Lipa earlier, well she's got the highest debut of the week with "Physical" in at 30, don't be surprised if this song takes attention, streams and sales away from "Don't Start Now"

Taylor Swift's Netflix documentary song "Only the Young" turns up at 31. I don't see this song sticking around.

Finally Aussie band The Rubens hit the ARIA top 50 with "Live in Life" at number 47


That wraps up the week, not sure what to expect next week, we might get one or two songs from "Australia Decides" and possibly a new Justin Bieber song (sigh) hitting the charts, we'll find out at 5pm AEDT on Saturday.

2000s Sound: 13th February

So this week brought a lot of destabilisation to the top ten and a few shifts in the top ten...just not in the top three where for another week "Mascara" by Killing Heidi remains at number one, though I am not sure for how much longer as Macy Gray's "I Try" is a chance of re-taking the top spot next week, it just didn't do quite enough to overtake Killing Heidi this week.

Len's "Steal My Sunshine" remains at number three this week as it couldn't bridge the margin to "I Try"

S Club 7's "S Club Party" seems to be getting bigger and louder as it climbed three places to number four, it was followed up by The Bloundhound Gang's "The Bad Touch" which jumped one place to hit the top five at number five.

Vanessa Amorosi's ode to the billions of people on this planet, "Absolutely Everybody" rose four places to number six.

Christina Aguilera is the first victim of all the shifts with "What a Girl Wants" down two places to number seven.

Madison Avenue re-enter the top ten with their request "Don't Call Me Baby" up three places to number eight.

Now we've hit the biggest new entry of the week and it comes from Eiffel 65 and their follow up to their number one smash hit "Blue (Da Ba Dee)" called "Move Your Body" which is in at number nine.

Finally, the biggest loser of any song in the top ten this week is Alice Deejay's "Better Off Alone" which dropped six places to number ten this week.

Gains

Not much in the way of big gains this week with the biggest gain for Brian McKnight's "Back At One" which jumped nine places to twenty five. while William Orbit's "Barber's Adagio For String" rose seven places to twenty three.

Losers

Tina Cousin's "Forever' plunged eleven places to forty two while Moby's "Why Does My Heart Feel So Bad For You' had an attack of some kind to drop ten places to forty four.

98 Degrees "I Do (Cherish You)" also hit a ten place skid to forty eight however the biggest hit came for Sister2Sister who dropped from twenty two to forty nine with "Sister"

ATB's "Don't Stop" hit thirty eight down from twenty one last week.

New Entries

So we have a slew of new entries to talk about beyond "Move Your Body" by Eiffel 65 at number 9 however at number 15 is a song called "Bloke" by Chris Franklin, an apparent comedy response from the male point of view to Meredith Brooks late 90s hit "Bitch"

Aqua are in at 26 with their new song called "Cartoon Heroes" while American rock band Filter are in at number 43 with "Take My Picture"

Britney Spears latest single from her debut album is "From the Bottom of My Broken Heart" and it's entered at 47.

Live's latest effort "Run to the Water" is up and running at 49 while finally, Tom Jones is back on the chart with "Sex Bomb" feat. Mousse T.

Saturday Song Review: "No Shame' by 5 Seconds of Summer

So I do not count myself as a 5 Seconds of Summer fan, they have songs I like like “Youngblood” and “Teeth” but I have never brought a 5 Seconds of Summer album or felt the need to, I have never really cared about them all that much however on Thursday, the band dropped the third single from their upcoming fourth album “CALM” called “No Shame” and because I didn’t have anything better to do, I decided that I would check it out, heck, if it was bad, I could quickly move on so what was “No Shame” like?

Holy shit, I do not know what to say because “No Shame” has been the song I have come back to a lot since it was released even as I checked out new releases from Niall Horan, Joji (“Run” is excellent and well worth giving a stream by the way), Human Nature ( and Anne Marie, “No Shame” was the song I kept coming back to hear again and again, there’s an addictive quality to the song that gets me every single time to the point listening to anything else felt like sheer disappointment for a good hour last night.

“No Shame” is unashamedly pop rock with a sweet guitar riff that repeats through the track and reminds me a lot of the pop rock around in the late 2000s complete with verse and bridge that builds into an explosive chorus with Luke hitting the high part of his vocal range for the chorus.

The subject matter of the song is pretty dark though, dealing with issues surrounding fame, the visceral high the band gets of being famous and obsessed fans expecting and demanding more and more which is an absolute pitfall of fame especially in the age of social media where fans are closer to their favourite bands/artists more so than ever and honestly the music video really does depict what fame must feel like to those in celebrity circles. 

I guess the one real nit-pick is the quick leap from the chorus into the second verse, would have loved a little guitar or something in between the chorus and second verse but otherwise this is a terrific pop rock song. Check it out!

My rating for "No Shame": 8.5/10

ARIA Singles Top ten/Chart Review: 3rd February. Hottest 100 hits

A bit to get through this week so let's not muck around as "Blinding Lights" by The Weeknd spends a second week at  number one and really I don't see what is going to challenge it as its dominating digital sales and streaming.

"Dance Monkey" by Tones and I is only barely holding on at number two as it bleeds on streaming, digital sales is the only thing propping this song up right now and once that goes, it will fall.

The biggest story comes from Triple J's Hottest 100 with the number one on that countdown also the biggest climber of the week with former chart topper "Bad Guy" by Billie Eilish back at number three. This won't last, it's in for a hard fall next week.

Expect "Don't Start Now" by Dua Lipa which remained at number four this week to be a beneficiary if "Bad Guy" fall hard next week.

Sticking around way longer than I expected it to is "Godzilla" by Eminem feat. Juice WRLD which slipped two places to number five, its doing okay on streaming but those sales aren't good.

The same could be said of "The Box" by Roddy Ricch which fell one spot to six...it's a giant on streaming but those sales numbers are hindering it's progression up the chart.

"Circles" by Post Malone continues its stay in the top ten as the Hottest 100 helped it to stabilise at number seven.

Speaking of the Hottest 100, the most popular Australian track on the countdown rose from twenty four to eight this week off the back of voted in at number two, "Rushing Back" by Flume and Vera Blue, this song won't stick around in the top ten though unfortunately.

"Never Seen The Rain" by Tones and I jumped one place back to number nine. It's as consistent as "Circles" is but kind of frustrating it probably won't get higher than seven.

Finally, "Yummy" by Justin Bieber fell four places to number ten, it got a remix with US R'n'B star Summer Walker on it but even so this song looks like it might be relying on a boost from the upcoming Bieber album (Bieber released the tracklisting overnight...yikes) and hopefully should be headed for the exit after that. I want this garbage gone.

Gains

So we've already discussed the big Hottest 100 gains for "Bad Guy" and "Rushing Back" so may as well go through the rest that got boosts off the back of the Hottest 100 with "Purple Hat" by Sofi Tukker up from 40 to 23, "Highest in the Room" by Travis Scott jumping eight spots to 30 and "Sunflower" by Post Malone and Swae Lee up eight to 41.

The only gains that appeared to be from the Grammys was the boost for "Old Town Road" which rose ten places to 33.while "Castles" by Freya Ridings recovered ten places from the Eminem album last week to hit 34.

The only gain that I cannot explain is "What a Man Gotta Do" by Jonas Brothers up off its debut to 24 somehow. 

Re-Entries

Two returns this week off the back of the Hottest 100 with "Piece of Your Heart" by Meduza and Goodboys back at 40 and "Graveyard" by Halsey back at 48

Losers

The biggest loser this week was "Good News" by Mac Miller which plunged from 27 to 43 while "Hot Girl Bummer" by Blackbear hits 46 a drop of nine places, they were the only two big losers this week

Drop Outs

The drop outs are all Eminem "Music to be murdered by" album tracks and thank god they are gone.

New Entries

It's a slow week for new entries with Doja Cat's "Say So" the highest debutant at 48 while the Hottest 100 helped Aussie Mallrat get "Charlie" to enter at number 50.

So that wraps up the week. The chart will be updated at 5pm AEDT on Saturday. 

2000s Sound: 6th February

So it's a bit of a busy one week this week, let's get straight into it. "Mascara" by Killing Heidi spends a second week at number one and really its an open question of what can possibly challenge it.

Well, there's Macy Gray's "I Try" which remains stuck at number two and really not looking like snatching number one back meanwhile Len's "Steal My Sunshine" had it's momentum stalled at number three.

Alice Deejay has her biggest hit with "Better Off Alone" making a three place move to number four while Christina Aguilera is also into the top five with "What A Girl Wants" slipping up four places to five.

The Bloodhound Gang continue to experience success with "The Bad Touch" up two places to number six while S Club 7 hit up three places to number seven as they conduct an "S Club Party".

M2M took a two place plunge to number eight with "Don't Say You Love Me" while former chart topper "Blue (Da Ba Dee)" by Eiffel 65 dropped five places to number nine.

Finally joining the top ten is "Absolutely Everybody" by Vanessa Amorosi hits the top ten up five places at number ten.

Gains

So the big gains were fairly limited this week with Moby's "Why Does My Heart Feel Bad for You?" jumping from 47 to 33.

Deadstar find their way into the top thirty with "Deeper Water" up nine to 29.

Re- Entries

Robbie Williams "Angels" is back at 44 for some reason (I do like that song though) while Puff Daddy and R, Kelly's collaboration "Satisfy You" is back at 47


Losers

Most of the big losers were 1999 songs that were on their way out anyway like Savage Garden's "I Knew I Loved You" slumping twenty places to 49 and "Everywhere You Go" by Taxiride down 16 places to 50.

Paul Johnson's "Get Get Down" drops nine places to 48 while Tina Cousins "Forever" slumped eight places to 31.

Meanwhile Madison Avenue suffered a sudden plunge from the top ten with "Don't Call Me Baby" plunging six places to 11.

New Entries

The Backstreet Boys have the highest debut this week with pop ballad "Show Me The Meaning of Being Lonely" in at number 24.

R 'n' B star Brian McKnight is in at 34 with "Back At One" while US rockers Limp Bizkit in at 35 with "Re-Arranged"

Finally the Red Hot Chilli Peppers are in at 45 with "Otherside"