The Super Short Top Ten Worst Hit songs of 2023

 I have decided to ditch doing a full on worst list for 2023, mostly because we've all moved on, I have no will power to revisit any of these crappy songs and most of the bad songs from 2023 will npt have any kind of staying power apart from a few unfortunate exceptions.

Before we briefly go tip diving, here's a reminder of the rules, a song can qualify for this list if it first appearedon the 2023 ARIA year end or was higher on the 2023 year end than it did on the 2022 year end, also this list is not definitive, it's just my opinion. 

10. "Flowers" by Miley Cyrus (I remember being so excited for this song's release, hearing a song that sounded so bland and cookie cutter and feeling disappointed, Miley, you are better than this, Bring back the "Plastic Hearts" Miley please)

9. "Players" by Coi Leray (Look, Coi Leray has got talent but like Miley, she wastes it on lazy sampling this time using an iconic 80s song from Grandmaster Flash with some pretty terrible lyrics about how girls do the exact same thing as guys,...come on...,it's just lame at this point, Coi)

8. "Green Green Grass"  by George Ezra (What on earth was this? A song aimed for Dulux colour chart ads, Bob Ross or Play School. This was a massive disappointment from George Ezra who I frankly expected better of than this shit).

7. "Popular" by The Weeknd feat. Playboi Carti and Madonna (The music from the Idol pretty much matches the TV show. None of the trio involved with this disaster of a song gives a good performance here, if anything it exposed how overexposed The Weeknd is).

6. "You Proof" by Morgan Wallen (Wow, this song sure sounds like what I would imagine a stomache virus would sound like. Not only is the song sour but Morgan Wallen sounds so fucking insufferably smug on this song that I want to throw things if the song didn't sound so damn lethargic)

5. "Let Go" by Central Cee (When you take a terrible 2013 Passenger song and make it worse and with this dude getting features on other mediocre rappers albums, we might not be rid of him. Just lovely...not)

4. "Daylight" by David Kushner (Okay so Australia wanted Hozier in 2023 but went for a bad rip off instead of anything from that Hozier album last year and now that Hozier is back, we have no need for anymore of these hacky rip offs)

3. "The Color Violet" by Tory Lanez (Well, this is awkward considering Tory Lanez is now serving prison time, Only wish people could get prison time for songs like this one that blow so much ass!)

2. "Rich Flex" by Drake and 21 Savage (Ugh, "Her Loss" is easily Drake's worst album to date and while "Rich Flex" is not the worst song on the album, it is emblematic of the issues with that album in that most of it hides behind misogyny and gunplay. It's pathetic, Drake, you are capable of better.)

The number one worst hit song of 2023:

"Last Night" by Morgan Wallen

This wasn't going to be my number one for awhile...it didn't feel like the hit song I hated the most in 2023 until I realized that "Last Night" is basically the tail end of Luke Bryan's "That's My Kind of Night"...drunken sloppy sex and all is remembered is car tail lights disappearing in the dust while all Wallen can remember is that he and this woman let the liquor talk last night in between the sex and presumable fighting.

What drives the song into the ground though is how utterly miserable this song is on an instrumental basis because this can barely be called country with that down tuned guitar and Wallen's whiny nasal vocals that make the song a completely niserable listening experience.

New Entry Review: March 2023

"Painting Pictures" by Superstar Pride

This is one of those songs that I feel l should care about more than I actually do. Superstar Pride is an American rapper and songwritter  who somehow managed to get this song to chart and well, this doesn't leave me much to say, he does have a decent flow  even if the lyrics really aren't anything spectacular so more often than not I'll leave this.

"Heaven" by Niall Horan

Waahhhheeeeyyyy, its nice to see Niall Horan back on the chart after the pandemic ruined the release of his excellent sophomore album "Heartbreak Weather" ("Nice to Meet Ya" deserved to be a hit...come on), this time with the lead single of his upcoming third album called "The Show" and I wish I liked this more than I do, the production ia as jarring as hell in the beginning with the "Ahhhhhh" and Niall singing in this weirdly forced sounding country twang, what does save the song is that is has some decent swagger, I don't hate it but I definitely don't love it and honestly considering Niall's past releases as a solo artist...that's disappointing.

"Rhyme Dust" by MK and Dom Dolla

Now for something that is a bit out of my lane here. MK is an  American DJ who teamed up with Australian house music producer Dom Dolla for this song which has apparently got quite a few fans because at the behest of those fans, this became a single and...I kind of like this? Yeah, it needs some fleshing out but I like how much energy the song has and that bass groove is doing slome serious heavy lifting. This is worth checking out if you are curious

"Ceilings" by Lizzy McAlpine

I feel like I have been aware of Lizzy McAlpine for awhile or at least long before she had a charting presence thanks to this song going viral on TikTok. "Ceilings" comes from McAlpine's 2022 album "5 Seconds Flat" and look, this is good but its midtier from that album, the sparse acoustic guitar and Lizzy McAlpine reminiscing on a past relationship. The song definitely does hit and is better then a majority of the songs here this month, check it out.

"River" by Miley Cyrus

I am not a fan of Miley's newest album, its sloppily produced and diverts back to bad pop and disco complete with some really poor writing but I will say this song about orgasms or as Miley herself so eloquently calls it "cumming" even if the production is going for a weird nightclub vibe that make the lyrics of the song lyrics feel a little sleazy but hey the hook is at least memorable so I guess it gets a pass. Oh and by the way, Miley, men do not jizz rivers....could be worse....could be Fifth Harmony's "Work From Home" where apparently the guy is such a sex god that he can jizz an entire ocean. Ehh.

"All Of The Girls You Loved Before" by Taylor Swift

Oh, a song off the cutting room floor from "Lover" where you can absolutely tell why it did not make the cut for "Lover", Taylor sounds like she's phoning it in with her flat vocal delivery and the weirdly sparse production...its fine but I am not going to remember this in a month. 

"Miracle" by Calvin Harris and Ellie Goulding

It feels like we get at least one Calvin Harris and Ellie Goulding collaboration at least once every couple of years however this might be the best thing they have done together in a awhile or possibly ever. "Miracle" goes closer to 90s trance and closer that decade's big beat dance music and Ellie Goulding sounds at her ethereal best... yeah, the lyrics are a little cliche but when its all about finding a miracle aka love on the dancefloor, hell, I'll take it and I'll take this song!

"You Proof" by Morgan Wallen

I need something Morgan Wallen proof. Seriously this is the first draft of "Last Night" that only sounds good after you've consumed a tonne of alcohol, it just sounds really lethargic and seedy especially when Wallen croons on the hook like he is busting for a trip to the toilet. The guitars sound sludgy and textureless...yeah, more Luke Combs, less Morgan Wallen please.

"Mother" by Meghan Trainor

Oh look, a song from the deluxe edition of that Meghan Trainor album that everyone forgot about and lets make no bones about it...this is utter garbage that not even a sample of "Mr Sandman" by The Chordettes can save it, the title of this nightmare fuel has become queer slang which you know Trainor doesn't get at all and then there' the lyrics where she calls her child a "bum" with all the flair and cadence of fucking Sam Hunt on "Drinkin' Too Much" in 2017. Absolute trash and a contender for the worst song of the year across any genre.

Worst of the Month: Mother by Meghan Trainor (duh)

Dishonourable Mention: You Proof by Morgan Wallen

Honourable Mention: Ceilings by Lizzy McAlpine

Best of the Month: "Miracle" by Calvin Harris and Ellie Goulding

ARIA New Entries Review: February 2023

 "Love Again" by The Kid Laroi

Brand new single from The Kid Laroi for an upcoming album and well...I cannot be the only one thinking that The Kid Laroi's music is becoming more generic? I didn't hate "Thousand Miles" but I certainly did not care for it and unfortunately "Love Again" is this guitar based song that features Kid Laroi howling his lungs out and it just sounds awfully raw but just not in a good way...I'll forget this exists come December.

"Players" by Coi Leray

Ahh.. Coi Leray, an American female r'n'b star and rapper who has been notching success in the US for awhile now and with this being Coi Leray's break out hit in Australia, I just wish I cared more about this...it samples Grandmaster Flash's "The Message" and Coi Leray going on about how women are players too, thing is I found myself listening more to the sample than Coi Leray AND this does feel like a push to copy Latto's "Big Energy"...Coi, you can do better.

"Boy's A Liar" by Pink Pantheress feat. Ice Spice

Ahh more artists having their breakthrough moment with this song getting a lot of praise as being one of the best hits of 2023 so far so what do I think of it? Honestly... I like it but I am not sure it's quite great, the production reminds me a lot of K-Pop or at least a sound that NewJeans did better on "Ditto", its very pretty sounding and the lyrical content about this guy not being honest is threatening to blow apart this relationship, I just wish the production reflected more of that tension...thats all.

"Last Night" by Morgan Wallen

Well all cross overs from the American country scene cannot be good and this from Morgan Wallen is a case in point and look I think there's potential, there's a solid hook here and the guitar sounds fine in a song where last night both Wallen and this girl got drunk and had sex and now Wallen has caught feelings but ugh, its Morgan Wallen himself that I just cannot stand here, he sounds painfully nasal like somebody grabbed hold of his nose and won't let go.... I really do not like this.

"Trustfall" by Pink

Oh Pink, what happened to you? Why does your whole new album feel so bare of personality? I mean this is one of the better songs from that album but to see Pink making music like this for the adult contemporary radio meat market is just disheartening, you are better than whatever the hell RCA are turning you into.

"Delilah (pull me out of this)" by Fred Again...

So more Fred Again...and you know, I actually like this a fair bit more than "Rumble" especially as the production reminds me a lot of Armand Van Helden....its a vibe, I dig it.

"I'm Not Here To Make Friends" by Sam Smith feat. Jessie Reyez and Calvin Harris

So the Sam Smith album is solid but why couldn't "No God" have been the next single and not this where the hook is this shouting, overproduced junk and Jessie Reyez adding adding about as much to the song as lettuce does to salad, throw in that annoying hook and its a skip for me.

"OMG" by NewJeans

K-Pop time! NewJeans are the newest act to breakthrough and I am not as sold on this as I am with  "Ditto".and I suspect its that stiff percussion that feels omnipresent in the mix to a distracting level, I don't think its bad  per se but I wish it'd been "Ditto" instead

"Green Green Grass" by George Ezra

Nice to see George Ezra back on the charts, he had one of my favourite hits of 2018 courtesy of "Shotgun" so I was looking forward to hearing this song which was a hit in the UK last year aaannnnd...what the ever loving fuck happened here? Why has George Ezra turned to making a song that sounds fit for a Colourbond commercial or peformed in front of four year olds as a precursor to a Wiggles concert? The hook is annoying as hell and it just sounds like complete ass.... What a disappointment.

"Love You Anyway" by Luke Combs

So Luke Combs dropped his new album this month with this being a promo single and...god damn, dude is ON FIRE because this song is excellent with its warm fiddle and organic guitar, production wise, this is a really easy song to love however its the lyrics that may as well create human puddles because the sentiment is sticky sweet in that he is saying no matter what his wife does, nothing will change his feelings and he will still love her, great song!

" Lost" by Linkin Park

Rest in peace, Chester....thats all that really needs to be said here.

"Snooze" by SZA

 Finally, we have this album cut from that last SZA album but its not one that I care for with trap effects smeared over over the top of a decent piano line. As for the lyrical content, its actually just "Nobody Gets Me" except she's realizing she isn't happy without this guy in her life. Its not terrible but SZA has done better.

Worst of the Month: " Last Night" by Morgan Wallen

Dishonourable Mention: "Green Green Grass" by George Ezra

Honourable Mention: Uhh...I guess "Delilah (Pull Me out of this)" by Fred Again...

Best of the Month: Love You Anyway" by Luke Combs

ARIA New Entries Review: January 2023

 Well, happy new year about a month or so late so just a quick update...I am going to continue doing the monthly ARIA new entry review series so yeah the weekly charts current and retro are on the back burner for a bit however year end list content is planned with the top ten best hit songs of 2022 hopefully by end of February plus my usual year end retro best and worst lists this time for 2004. I am also in early stages of seeing if a best list for 1999 is feasible.

However enough of that, time to talk about the songs that entered the ARIA singles chart in January beginning with...

"10:35" by Tiesto & Tate McRae

So this song has been on my replay list for awhile now and yeah,this is probably one of both artists better songs in years. Tate McRae sounds better on this than she has on anything...possibly ever and that hook is sticky as hell...check it out.

"Rumble" by Skrillex, Fred again... & Flowdan

Oh gosh, this is one of those songs where I get the appeal but it does not quite click for me. I actually like the production  from Skrillex and both Fred again and Flowdan sound good over this but yeah something in this ain't quite clicking but objectively this is pretty good.

"Flowers" by Miley Cyrus 

So I was looking forward to this, a new single from Miley Cyrus who'd shown pretty good promise as a rock artist in 2020 only to be pretty much ignored by the public bar "Midnight Sky" being a hit in Australia, only for my excitement to turn to disappointment because "Flowers" is mediocre self empowerment  post break up schlock via early 80s bad disco updated for 2023., it just feels calculating and like this is something Miley's record label wanted her to release because the nu disco sound in pop is in the in sound at the moment...sad thing is this netted a number one

Sigh...you can have your Flowers and hold your hand, Miley but you can do better.

"VIBE" by Taeyang and Jimin

So more k-pop via Taeyang who brought Jimin of BTS for the ride and yeah, this was a load of fun! The song kind of reminds me of the early 2000s boy band sound even if like bands in the early 2000s, the song is a little over produced but it's lightweight pop that's really more about coasting on the vibe...I had fun with this. Worth checking out.

"Sure Thing" by Miguel

Really? We could not have made "Coffee" a hit? Okay seems TikTok virality helped this song from the early 2010s chart and yeah, this is solid even if I don't like voice that comes over the top on the intro as it feels rather unnecessary but these of the song is really a pretty love song, I am fine with this being on the chart...unlike...

"Nonsense " by Sabrina Carpenter 

Le's be real, this song is only here because of chicanery by Sabrina Carpenter's label and Spotify whereby Spotify changed its auto play algorithm and thus gave this song an inflated boost by it appearing disproportionately in auto playlists... I mean really? Of any song they could have inflated the streams of, they could have done better than this gummy mush of song that resort's to spouting gibberish on the chorus. I don't see this sticking around, thankfully.

"Here With Me" by D4VD

Round two with D4VD and while this isn't as horrible as "Romantic Homicide", it still feels pretty forced and D4vD sounds pretty lethargic and the song as a whole feels like vague attempt to copy Steve Lacy's formula. It's not the worst of what is here though

"The Color Violet" by Tory Lanez

Really? I am supposed to care that the public suddenly sympathises with the now imprisoned Tory Lanez enough to give him a charting song on the ARIA  singles chart? Fuck that...I have better things to do than listen to this whiny prison bird complain he'll never dance again over a limp beat...bitch, please...

Worst of the month: "Nonsense" by Sabrina Carpenter

Dishonourable Mention: "The Color Violet" by Tory Lanez (Only just edges out Miley...

Honourable Mention: "Sure Thing" by Miguel

Best of the Month: "VIBE" by Taeyang feat. Jimin