Top Ten Worst Hit Songs of 2011

2011 was an odd year, it felt transitional in many ways as the club boom was dying in slow motion with many acts trying to keep the party going even as there were signs that R ‘n’ B and soul were making inroads mostly for the better however while the club boom was dying, it also saw many indie acts get success they would ultimately never see again, this year also spawned plenty of classic hits both good and bad however today, we’re discussing the worst 2011 had to offer.

We begin with an established star trying to get in on the fading club boom with bad results…

10. “Til the World Ends” by Britney Spears.

If there was one established female pop artist that the early 2010s club boom was not good for, I could make the argument it is Britney Spears because “Til the World Ends” is just a mess even at a production level, her limited vocal range  just doesn’t sound good against warping synths, handclaps and heavy percussion, she actually sounds off key on in places on the chorus and while it isn’t the worst song to come out of the dying club boom, it’s certainly not good.

Speaking of bad songs from the fading club boom…

9. “We Run the Night” by Havana Brown feat. Pitbull

Casting aside Pitbull who gives the opening intro, this song is a pile up of noise, the intro is grating so its actually a relief when Havana Brown starts singing but her voice is wafer thin and lacks the presence or punch before launching into this bridge and chorus where she just wails, it sounds awful and oh more headache inducing noises. Ugh. I don’t mind my fair share of bad dance pop this ain’t it, probably says a lot that Havana Brown hasn’t really had a presence on the charts since.

I am a fan of this next artist but in 2011, the name of the song really represented something I had begun to wonder in 2011 regarding her music.

8. “What the Hell” by Avril Lavigne

So by 2011, Avril was releasing some pretty darn obnoxious music, I hated her previous album at the time “The Best Damn Thing” and when she released this song, it was more of what I found frustrating about Avril, immature obnoxious lyrics combined with bad production. “What the Hell” is the perfect example of bad writing because she’s in a relationship where this guy is in love with her and catches her out making out with his best friend however Avril is passing it off as having fun, what the? That is just completely messed up and completely unfair, this song sucks…ugh.

Another year end worst list, another Rihana song finds its way here…

7. “S&M” by Rihanna

I would swear this is the most unsexy song to reference bondage in pop music this decade with the gurgling bass that sounds like absolute turd and Rihanna sounding anything other than excited about the ‘chains and whips’ even the obnoxious backing vocals with the “na na come on come on” are more excited about the possibility of bondage than Rihanna!. Ugh.

Now for a song that I’ve always hated by an artist I have begun to like although with this song you may question why.

6. “The Lazy Song” by Bruno Mars

This song is the worst thing that Bruno Mars could have possibly written, it starts off with “Today I don’t feel like doing anything”…well you are doing something you are singing about not doing anything when you are actually doing something and references to actually doing things are all over the song so he isn’t actually doing nothing. Also messing around and getting your college degree at the same time is kind of stupid given how hard most people have to work to get those.

I think this was year that finally showed me Maroon 5 were going the wrong way and becoming more sterile…

5. “Moves Like Jagger” by Maroon 5 feat. Christina Aguilera.

This song began Maroon 5’s spiral into becoming the Adam Levine Experience and making into some of the most sterile pop music of the decade although yes there is an argument that this song has some flavour that’s completely over ridden by the annoying whistling, Adam Levine sounding like he was desperate for a toilet break during the recording of the song and Christina Aguilera’s way too enthusiastic delivery in a song all about putting moves like Mick Jagger on someone like they are vaguely going to be impressed you can dance like Mick Jagger. This song is gross at best and atrocious at worst, yet it only sits at number 5, what could possibly be worse?

You know, I get the feeling this next act were created to be obnoxious and annoying otherwise there’s absolutely no reason this song should exist.

4. “Champagne Showers” by LMFAO and Natalia Kills

At some point in 2011, I think I got sick of LMFAO as it’s 15 minutes of fame were running out and Redfoo tried his level best to extend his longer by making Australian TV appearances but “Champagne Showers” while not being the worst thing LMFAO released, it still manages to sound like something Will.i.am managed to cock up with Natalia Kills vocals reduced to chipmunk fragments with what sounds like screaming on the chorus.

By the way let’s remind ourselves of what a ‘champagne shower’ is courtesy of Urban Dictionary…on second thought, let’s not…ewww…

Although while LMFAO were an obnoxious presence on the 2011 charts, there was one band who were doing their best to be incredibly obnoxious in their own way…

3. “Tonight Tonight” by Hot Chelle Rae.

Look, it comes as no surprise this song is here after all it has appeared on most other critics year end worst lists for 2011 because it is truly one of the biggest pieces of shitty pop rock this decade. This guy whinges in the very first verse about having a ‘messed up’ week where his girlfriend cheated on him and he is going to quit her after he described the week as being TORTURE, yeah sure girlfriend cheating on you sucks but it really doesn’t fit into the realm of being torture then they are going to shrug it off with some party on a rooftop somewhere…seriously. This song gets worse to with the vocals being an absolute joke. I would take SIMPLE PLAN over this. Hot Chelle Rae maybe the early 2010s incantation of bloody AJR except without the annoying chipmunk fragments that AJR smother their songs in.

This next pick is controversial more because I know plenty of people like or love this song however I…well…

2. “Pumped Up Kicks” by Foster the People

So I finally have an opportunity to give this song the thoroughly due thrashing it deserves for being a limp piece of indie rock that the end of the club boom meant more indie rock and pop was appearing more on the charts but none the less while “Pumped Up Kicks” might well be an ‘anti-gun’ song I just can’t stand the wimpy sounding chorus and the grating whistling that comes with it and lacks the darkness it needs to get across its message, it just seems creepily cheerful in a way that it’s really rather unpleasant to listen to.

Well, this was predictable…I said LMFAO would appear again and here they are…

1.   1. "Sexy and I Know It” by LMFAO

This song typifies EVERYTHING that was wrong with popular music in 2011 or at least the club boom party which thank god was coming to an end in terms of the fact that it’s a fucking pointless and stupidly generic song. This song is repetitive garbage from the beat to the lyrics, its lazy and reminds me in a awful way of how painfully obnoxious 3OH!3 were in 2010. The third verse repeats ‘wiggle’ into incoherence three years before bloody Jason DeRulo got hold of that infuriating word in 2014. Fortunately LMFAO’s 15 minutes of fame ran out and they haven’t been heard from in years, good fucking riddance.