All 4 1994: January 30th. Estranged Dirty Dawg Daughter Now and Forever, what's my name?

 This week was busy in more ways then one, multiple new entries across the board and plenty of changes to our top ten...just not right at the top where "All For Love" by Bryan Adams, Rod Stewart and Sting remained at number one for another week thanks to a decent sales margin, it handily held up over our new number two "Shoop" by Salt 'N' Pepa which climbed one place this week as it seemed to gain more momentum, it just remains to be seen if it can take number one,.

Cut 'n' Move continues to move on up with their cover of KC and The Sunshine Band's "Give It Up" up three places to number three, this is a cover I actually don't mind, it's a bit of fun and the band didn't mess with the key melodies too much.

All of this saw "Boom! Shake the Room" by DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince slide down two places to number four as it slowly makes it way out alongside "Please Forgive Me" by Bryan Adams as it slipped one to number five and "Moving On Up" by M People down one to number six.

Stalled at number seven is "Hero" by Mariah Carey. This song just stuck right now and it remains to be seen if it can get any kind of real traction to move up.

Moving up is "Slave to the Music" by Twenty 4 Seven feat. Stay-C and Nana up one to number eight while "Asshole" by Denis Leary is one of the big gainers of the week by jumping from its debut at 30 to number nine this week, this song has some very real momentum and it will be interesting to see if it can make a play for numnber one.

Finally defeating my prediction from last week "Got to Get It" by Culture Beat remains stubbornly at number ten. 

Losers

One of 1993's biggest hits looks like it's spending it's last week in the top 50, "Dreamlover" by Mariah Carey plummeted from thirty three to fifty this week while non starter "Where is the Love" by Rick Price and Margaret Urlich stumbled ten places to forty five. 

"Soul to Squeeze" by Red Hot Chili Peppers slipped eleven places to forty while "Maximum Ovcrdrive" by 2 Unlimited stumbled six places to thirty eight and "Lemon" by U2 lost it's juice down from twenty six to thirty three. 

Finally "All About Soul" by Billy Joel collapsed from thirty four to forty eight this week. 

Gains

I mentioned "Asshole" by Denis Leary joining the top ten earlier but there were a couple of other noteworthy gains this week starting with "Tears of a Clown" by Caligula which climbed from thirty nine to thirty one and interestingly "Feelin' Alright" by EYC jumping from forty two to twenty six

New Entries

Alright so because we have plenty of new entries I am going to aim to keep my reviews brief this week, starting with.

44. "Estranged" by Guns 'n' Roses

Well, starting off with a nine minute song from a 1991 Guns 'N' Roses album sure is a wild way to start the week's new entry reviews but it is their second longest song overall and lead singer Axl Rose said that the song is about acknowledging estrangement and how it all works aft the estrangement has happened, it's supposed to be a continuation of "November Rain". 

The song is fine, I do like the instrumentation but why are Axl's vocals so weirdly produced ? He sounds so tinny here. This song isn't for me but if you are curious, check it out. 

39. "Will You Be There (In the Morning)"  by Heart

So Nancy Wilson takes the lead vocal on this song and serves as the lead single from their album "Desire Walks On" and yeah, this is not the best song I have ever heard from Heart, I do like the piano that underpins the melody but I am not a fan of the weirdly pitchy vocals here at all, it just sounds like a Wilson Phillips song with a rock edge. Next!

37. "Who I Am (What's My Name0" by Snoop Doggy Dogg

Now for some hip hop, this time coming from American rapper Snoop Doggy Dogg, he appears to be a prodigy of producer Dr Dre with this song being Dogg's first single and well...I think I love this. Dre has give Snoop Dog just this perfect West Coast G funk groove for him to just absolutely kill it as he raps about finding his true identity and where he sits within hip hop and broader life. Definitely a good song. Check it out!

34. "Now and Forever" by Richard Marx

Oh god, you know when you see a song title and absolutely know what you are going to get? Yeah, that was the case with this song from Richard Marx and my expectations and thoughts going in were thoroughly met, this is a corny "I will be your man not just now but forever" over guitar that is very reminiscent of Bryan Adams at his most treacly sweet and that high note on the bridge is willowy as all hell. Yuck yuck yuck.

29. "Dirty Dawg" by NKOTB

Oh so we have a previously unreleased track from New Kids on the Block's greatest hits album...and dear god this reeks of trying to leap onto nineties hip hop trends that NKOTB cannot remotely do and the production just buries their vocals which might be as well considering the lyrics are pretty terrible as well where he is whining about this girl not treating him right and leaving him cold which doesn't even begin to make sense but than he accuses her of cheating on the bridge and outright calls her a "Dirty Dawg" on the hook...like that's classy, my guy.

Nope, add this one to the filth to toss aside.

27. "Daughter" by Pearl Jam

Trigger Warning: Child abuse

Second single from the second studio Pearl Jam album entitled "Vs.", also I really need something truly excellent to end the week and you know what? I think I got what I was after with this song, nice scathing guitar riffs bounce off the wall with this song and Eddy Vedder's vocals are immaculately produced and he sounds incredible in the mix, The content of this song is incredibly dark, a little girl with learning disabilities the parents of this child don't understand, they get angry and frustrated abd abuse the little girl only after pulling down the shades so the neighbours don't see and can't report the abuse. which is just heavy and devastating content especially for a song in 1994. Yeah, this song is great but if you are struggling with issues from childhood abuse...might be a song to avoid.

"Daughter" by Pearl Jam is easily best of the week. The worst of the week also easily falls out..it's going to "Dirty Dawg" by NKOTB

ARIA Top 50 Singles Chart Review. 27th January. GBP is a River

Tbis week was a case of the more things change the more they stay the same on the ARIA singles chart this week and that was especially the case with our top ten where for an eleventh week "APT" by Rose and Bruno Mars stayed at number one, it lost a bit of its margin on streaming but has a good lead on sales and streaming which was enough to keep it at the very top of the chart.

It was enough to hold up over "That's So True" by Gracie Abrams which despite closing some of that streaming margin couldn't narrow the gap to "APT so spent a ninth week at number two.

The open question is whether "Messy" by Lola Young holding strong at number three this week can surpass "That's So True' especially as it seems to have so momentum behind it on streaming and on sales so it's going to be one to watch for the number one spot in the weeks ahead.

"Die With A Smile" by Lady Gaga and Bruno Mars appears to be done as it is starting to sputter on sales and streaming, it just appears to be waiting on something stronger to surpass it and that might come in the form of "The Days (Notion Remix)" by Chrystal and Notion which climbed one spot to number five as it leapt past "Birds of a Feather" by Billie Eilish which dipped to number six but it should get a Hottest 100 streaming boost next week.

"A Bar Song (Tipsy)" by Shaboozey held it's place number seven while "I Had Some Help" by Post Malone and Morgan Wallen climbed one place to number eight pushing past "Taste" by Sabrina Carpenter at number nine. 

Unfortunately back in the top ten up two places is the lingering skidmark in the underpants that is "Beautiful Things" by Benson Boone at number ten.

Gains

Not too many big gains this week, just "Fast Car" by Luke Combs up seven places to twenty six thanks to Combs being in the country right now, this also explains why "When It Rains, it Puurs" being up ten to thirty.

Speaking of country, "Indigo" by Sam Barber and Avery Anna climbed five places to twenty three.

"Iris" by The Goo Goo Dolls climbed five places to forty three.

Re-Entries

 Three songs returned this week and all three are from Luke Combs with "Beautiful Crazy" at forty two, "Where The Wild Things Are" at thirty five and "Ain't No Love in Oklahoma" at thirty four.

Losers

Pretty quiet on the losers frontt with the biggest losers this week basically being non starters like "Smile" by Morgan Wallen and "Carry You Home" by Alex W\arren, both down six places to forty eight and forty nine respectively.

Drop Outs

Mixed news on the drop out front because did see "Stumblin' In" by Cyril drop out which was welcome  news. The bad news is that we also lost "Tweaker" by Liangelo Ball/Gelo which is sad considering I actually think the song is good.

Also gone is "Bed Chem" by Sabrina Carpenter, "Love Somebody" by Morgan Wallen and "Take Me to Church" by Hozier'

New Entries

Two new entries this week

47. "GBP"  by Central Cee feat. 21 Savageboth 

So I have absolutely no interest in listening to that Central Cee album that dropped on Friday, I have a bunch of other albums that are just more interesting than a British rapper who alternates between awful and mediocre, sadly this song is pretty much on the mediocre side of the equation with both Central Cee and 21 Savage rapping about the struggles of street life in the UK with all the enthusiasm of damp socks especially as Central Cee interpolates lines from his other songs in order to brag about how he would of had a high powered gun with several rounds of ammunition. I'd say skip it but chances are high that this will be forgotten about in no time. 

44. "Denial is a River" by Doechii

Finally, a proper chart breakthrough for Doechii, I did expect  "What it is (Block Boy)" to be her break through on the ARIA charts especially with the airplay on the radio it got but it somehow didn't but none the less, "Denial is a River' did cross over to the charts so what did we get? A damn good song as it turns out! That piano melody is just hitting for me and Doechii can absolutely flow over this as she reflects on her come up and the things that have happened to her and other people that have been apart of her life. 

Easily best of the week here...no contest.

"GBP" by Central Cee and 21 Savage gets worst of the week because yeah...I'm going to forget that one exists.

All 4 1994. January 23rd. She Feelin' Alright...Asshole, Can We Talk?

Pretty standard week we have at hand here but we do have a new number one...just wish it was better...it's "All For Love" by Bryan Adams, Sting and Rod Stewart claimed top spot with a damn good sales week that gave it a well timed push to get ahead of last week's number one "Boom! Shake The Room" by DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince at number two.

"Shoop" by Salt 'N' Pepa climbed one place but that might be more because "Please Forgive Me" by Bryan Adams hit the downswing down two to number four.

M People continue to keep their upwards momentum going as they climbed one spot to number five as did Cut 'n' Move's "Give It Up" whichn climbed four places to number six meanwhile the same cannot be said of "Hero" by Mariah Carey which has stalled at number seven.

Ace of Base stumbled four places to number nine as "All That She Wants" continues it's descent out of the top ten. 

There's a new arrival to the top ten this week and one that I saw coming with "Slave to the Music" by Twenty 4 Seven feat. Stay-C and Nane up five spots to number nine this week, I think this could make a play for number one soon.

Rounding out our top ten is "Got to Get to it" by Culture Beat down down one to number ten, it's time in the top ten is done.

Losers.

So not too many major losers this week with one of  the biggest being "True Love" by Elton John and Kiki Dee which slipped eleven places to forty five. 

The other major loser was Johnny Gill with "The Floor" sliding eleven to forty nine.

Efua's "Somewhere" is also headed out as it stumbled six to forty seven. 

Re Entries

We did have one return this week with "Please (You Got That...)"  by INXS returning at number forty three/

Gains

Most of the gains are just small incremental gains as the hits of 1993 slowly start making their way out but we did see "Green Limousine" by The Badloves rise ten spots off the debut to thirty seven and "Maximum Overdrive" by 2 Unlimited rise eight to thirty two this week.

New Entries

Four new entries this week, let's begin with...

50. "She Don't Let Nobody" by Chaka Demus & Pliers.

Alright, already got the bad feelings going just by glancing at this and seeing that is a cover of a 1981 Curtis Mayfield song and that Chaka Demus and Pliers are a reggae duo for whom this song is from their fourth album and well it's this smooth r'n'b number about hiw his girlfriend doesn't let other girls other than him have sex with her, it honestly feels like a brag song about how he is the only one she will sleep with and honestly while I think it's cool, that hook is beyond repetitive to the point of annoying and I feel like he is only using this girl's loyalty to him be a reason to brag about how she doesn't sleep with other guys which is a shame because I do like the smoother production here but yeah I don't see myself coming back to this one. 

42. "Feelin' Alright" by EYC

Alright, EYC an American pop and R'n'B group with this song being their big break through and look while I think the hook is a bit noisy, I do kind of get the appeal of this because I can see how this song would go off at parties given how the percussion is going off but I just wish the vocals didn't sound so completely buried because other wise this is a pretty solid party jam.

38. "Can We Talk?" by Tevin Campbell

Time to turn our attention to American singer songwriter Tevin Campbell who first started notching hits in 1991 and appeared on "Fresh Prince of Bel Air" at one point with this song released in September 1993 having been co-produced by Babyface of all people and...this is a bit of a disaster, not only is that clanking noise in the background way too reminiscent of poles being banged together and while the lyrical content of the song doesn't stand out particularly at first, he just wants to talk to this girl but is too shy to do so however he wants to find out her name...at first but then by the end of the song, he gets more insistent she talk to him and give him her name like he is entitled to it! This sucks...next!

30. "Asshole" by Dennis Leary

It's a bad sign that we're relying on an American comedian for a good song this week because my goodness we need something good to close out the week and well...this song is actually fucking hilarious, Leary's verses are full of things he does that would likely piss off everyone else such as piss on the toilet seat etc and it's all because he says that he is an asshole on the hook with the adlibs singing "he's an asshole" and "he's the world's greatest asshole". I loved this. Check it out!

Yeah, "Asshole" by Dennis Leary is the easy best of week, as for the worst..."Can We Talk" by Tevin Campbell for being a beyond pushy slice of incel R'n"B

ARIA Top 50 Singles Chart Review: 20th January. Carry Tweaker Home

No preamble this week, I have year end lists to write so let's get on with this. "APT" by Rose and Bruno Mars retains the number one slot for a tenth week and its looking pretty rock solid for another week at least at number one, it held off "That's So True" by Gracie Abrams (a song that is starting to sour on me rather quickly...might see it on my worst list) mostly because Gracie doesn't have the stability across the board on sales, streaming and Youtube that Rose and Bruno do. 

The rest of our top five is also very stable with "Messy" by Lola Young at number three, "Die With A Smile" by Lady Gaga and Bruno Mars at number four and "Birds of a Feather" by Billie Eilish at number five.

From there, it's change as "The Days (Notion Remix)" by Chrystal and Notion continued its upward climb up one spot to number six, it moved past "A Bar Song (Tipsy)" by Shaboozey which slipped to number seven.

Both "Taste" by Sabrina Carpenter and "I Had Some Help" by Post Malone and Morgan Wallen moved up one spot each to eight and nine respectively which pushed "Espresso" by Sabrina Carpenter back two places back to number ten.

Losses

"Cruel Summer" by Taylor Swift finally appears to be on its way out as it fell ten places to number thirty nine while "Smile" by Morgan Wallen slipped six places to number forty two

Drop Outs

Unfortunately we lost "Push 2 Start" by Tyla, "Hot to Go!" by Chappell Roan and "Sticky" by Tyler the Creator along with 2024 hit "End of Beginning" by Djo and the other debutant from last week "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey.

Re-Entries 

So we did see couple of songs return with two older songs returning with "Yellow" by Coldplay at fifty and "Take Me to Church" by Hozier at forty nine.

Morgan Wallen's "Love Somebody" is unfortunately back at forty seven. 

Gains

So not too many massive gains this week but we did see "Indigo" by Sam Barber and Avery Anna up ten places off its debut to twenty eight while "Bad Dreams" by Teddy Swims went up nine spots to thirty. 

Nrw Entries

Bit of a shorter week with just two entries but it is going to get quite complex just not straight away because first...

43 "Carry You Home" by Alex Warren

I was expecting ?Burning Down" to the song to cross over to the ARIA singles chart not this one but no matter. If you aren't aware who Alex Warren is, he is an American singer songwriter and Youtuber, he was apparently the member of a questionable video group called The Hype House with this song being one of the first to get any attention for him as a musician and look, I am not going to say it's as good as "Burning Down" but it's solid without being great. its basically a Noah Kahan song where he hopes that this girl understands that no matter when he will carry her home.

I just wish the backing vocals didn't feel like they overwhelmed the song and that this song was more memorable, It's not bad...just easily forgettable.

41. "Tweaker" by Ball Brothers/G3 Gelo

This is actually somewhat of a more interesting new entry this week as it comes from LiAngelo Ball, the brother of former NBA player LaMelo Ball and did play basketball for a time before he dropped out to become a rapper and signed to Def Jam records with this actually winding up being something of a viral hit so what did we get?

Uh, much to my surprise, a pretty good song that reminds me a lot of 2000s rap that came from Nelly especially on the hook and more recently of Lil Nas X on his 2021 album Montero. That piano is also doing a lot of heavy lifting and it's just short enough to not get annoying. Definitely check this one out if you are curious but while I don't think it's great just yet, it's definitely fun and worth your time.

Yeah, it's getting best of the week. No worst this week because I don't think "Carry You Home" by Alex Warren deserves that. 

Next week...uhh...I don't know...could be a quiet one, we'll have to see.

All 4 1994: January 16th Wishing Green Limousine on Maximum Overdrive

 Week two of 1994 and we have a fairly interestong week in prospect on the ARIA singles chart with plenty of movement in the top ten and outside of it as well however let's begin with the top ten where the big story of the week is our new number one that being "Boom! Shake the Room" by DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince. it got enough sales to just nab the numbher one spot this week thanfully ending the five week reign at number one by "Please Forgive Me" by Bryan Adams which fell back to number two and doesn't look to be a threat to number one anymore

I'd say...unfortunately...the threat to our new number one is coming from "All For Love" by Bryan Adams, Rod Stewart and Sting which got a two place boost to number three.

"Shoop" by Salt 'N' Pepa is the only song in the top ten that didn't move as it remains glued to the number four spot. "All That She Wants" by Ace of Base slid two places to number five as it looks to be on the downswing now. 

M People's "Moving On Up" lives up to it's name by moving up three places to number six...this has momentum behind it so I can see this climbing higher in the weeks ahead.

Speaking of momentum also up three spots to seven is "Hero" by Mariah Carey...a song that's fine enough but not Mariah's best song however it did move past "Creep" Radiohead at number eight and "Got to Get It" by Culture Beat at number nine.

Finally a new arrival to the top ten, moving up nine places is Cut 'N' Move's cover of KC and the Sunshine Band's "Give It Up"

Losers

Lets rip our way through the biggest losers of the week starting from "Sweat (A La La La La Long)" by Inner Circle finally making it's way out down nine places to 46. 

Efua's "Somewhere" slides from 35 to 41 this week as it hit the downswing. "Go West" by Pet Shop Boys took the wrong direction and went south seven places to 30.

Meatloaf's "Rock and Roll Dreams Comr Through" dipped from 18 to 23 while 'The Weight" by Jimmy Barnes and The Badloves fell out of the top ten down six to number 12.

Re-Entries

Just the one re-entry with "Dur dur d'etre bebe" by Jordy returning at 39

Gains

Not too many major gains outside the top ten this week but the one song that seems to have absolutely jumped up the charts is "Slave to the Music" by Twenty 4 Seven feat. Stay-C and Nance which climbed from 28 to 14 this week and looks headed for the top ten at this rate. 

Urban Cookie Collective had a four place gain to 20 with "Feels Like Heaven" while "Hey Mr DJ" by Zhane climbed six places to 21. 

"Where is the Love" by Rick Price and Margaret Urlich rebounded after last week's fall, they are seven to 33. 

New Entries

Four new entries this week, starting with...

49. "Into Your Arms" by The Lemonheads.

So we've got a bunch of bands or groups this week and we start off with an American alternative rock band and I actually like this a fair bit, it's got this solid hooky groove courtesy of those guitars and the drums absolutely kill. I guess the only issue is the vocals, they don't have as much punch or power as I would like but hey, this is still a pretty solid song, hope it sticks around.

47. "Green Limousine" by The Badloves

Fresh off nabbing a top ten hit with Jimmy Barnes in 1993, we've got a new Badloves song and it's pretty mich a blues rock song and look, it's solid but it's not giving me much to say except in terms of the fact it's supposed to be about celebrities who jump aboard any cause's bandwagon if it proves to be fashipnable which is something worth calling out but I reckon the issue deserves a punchier song than this. 

44. "Wishing On the Same Star" by Girlfriend

So Girlfriend's newest effort is a cover of a 1991 song by an American singer songwriter named Keedy with the song written by Diane Warren and honestly I think I like the Gitlfriend version a lot better mostly because they amp up the girls harmonies and Melanie Alexander, who takes the lead vocal on this song can sell this with the sincerity and spirit a song about somebody reminding a loved one that no matter what they are wishing on the star and looking at the same moon and the song has a more lush and warm sound. Definitely dig this, check it out. 

40. "Maximum Overdrive" by 2 Unlimited.

Oh 2 Unlimited again...sigh...I don't have fondness for this group's thumping dance music that's got as much going for it as an empty bucket and yeah...this is just annoying especially with that "woo!" noise punctuating the melody. This is just soulless bleh. Move on.

To no one's surprise, it's the worst of the week. Best of the week is close between The Lemonheads and Girlfriend...I'm going to give it to Girlfriend for "Wishing on the Same Star" but again "Into My Arms" by The Lemonheads is pretty damn good too.

ARIA Singles Top 50 Chart Review: January 13th. Somedays Indigo Push 2 Start a Smile

Well, things have finally started moving on the ARIA singles chart for 2025, we have quite the busy week on hand here so let's get started with the top ten where the top two didn't move with "APT" by Rose and Bruno Mars remains at number one for yet another week, it's lost a bit of it's streaming margin but it's still strong on sales and Youtube, it was enough of a margin to hold sway over "That's So True" by Gracie Abrams at number two, it's gained a bit on streaming but hasn't got as strong a sales or Youtube presence to challenge for number one.

A challenger for the top spot is emerging at number three though with "Messy" by Lola Young up two spots to number three as it gained hard on streaming this week and looks like it might make a run for the top spot.

What won't be making a run at the number one spot are "Die  with a Smile" by Bruno Mars and Lady Gaga down one place to four, "Birds of a Feather" by Billie Eilish down one to number five and "A Bst Song (Tipsy)" by Shaboozey, all three are just naturally just starting to fall back now to make way for new hits.

Speaking of new hits, it looks like "The Days (NOTION Remix)" by Chrystal and Notion is going to get huge as it climbed a massive eleven places to number seven this week, this has streaming momentum so wouldn't be at all surprised if this broke into the top five in the weeks ahead.

The rest of the top ten are 2024 hits with "Espresso" and "Taste" by Sabrina Carpenter with the former remaining at number eight and the latter up one to number nine.

Finally "I Had Some Help" by Post Malone feat Morgan Wallen down one to number ten as it starts to head out of the top ten.

Losers

Yeah we had some massive losers this week mostly older songs that keep appearing on the chart for some reason like "Iris" by The Goo Goo Dolls which fell sixteen places to forty seven, "I Remember Everything" by Zach Bryan and Kacey Musgraves down fifteen to forty three and "Something in the Orange" by Zach Bryan down nine spots to thirty three

However there were also some big falls for some more recent hits like Chappell Roan's "Hot To Go! down twelve to forty five, thankfully "Stumblin' In" by Cyril stumbled down eleven to forty one,"Austin (Boots Stop Working)" by Dasha which slipped eleven to twenty five.

Drop Outs

There were some major drop outs this week with former number ones "Last Night" and "Guess" by Charli XCX feat Billie Eilish both gone. Not complaining though..."Last Night" is still fucking atrocious and "Guess" should make the year end list.

Also gone are "Million Dollar Baby" by Tommy Richman, "I Like the Way You Kiss Me" by Artemas. 
and "Prada" by Casso, Raye and D-Block Europe along with "Scared to Start" by Michael Marcagi and "Ain't No Love in Oklahoma" by Luke Combs

Finally the much older song "Take Me to Church" by Hozier also left.

Gains

So I mentioned the nine place gain for Chrystal and Notion's "The Days" but there wete some significant gains on the chart this week especially for new entries from last week with "BMF" by SZA which gained ten places to seventeen while "Linger (Sirius XM Sessions)" by Royrl Otis climbed  nine places to thirty seven.

"The Door" by Teddy Swims climbed five places to twenty four this week, this song doesn't have the traction "Lose Control" did but I am happy to see this song becoming a sleeper hit.

Re Emtries

However when the other two are "Kisses" by BL3SS and CamrinWatsin (feat. bbyclose) at thirty one and "Slow It Down" by Benson Boone at twenty seven... I'd almost want to question the taste of the Australian public, we could have started 2025 on an even better note without "Slow It Down" especially.

New Entries

Four new entries this week, it's and electic mix of songs but we're starting with

44. "Push 2 Start" by Tyla

Oh finally, another Tyla song has crossed over to the charts only it's a song that isn't on the standard the edition of Tyla's self titled album but rather the deluxe edition of the album called "Tyla+" and I got to be honest here, this is a pretty good song rather than it being great mostly because that drum mixing just feels little off but otherwise yeah, I'll take this with its absolutely gorgeous African amapiano vibe and Tyla's smooth sultry vocal delivery. Check this out. 

38. "Indigo" by Sam Barber and Avery Anna

I've been waiting for American country singer/songwriter Sam Barber to break through in Australia. I've just not really ever been a fan of this, Barber has always felt like way too much of a Zach Bryan knock off and why listen to a knock off when I could listen to the real thing? But with Zach having his issues, it's seems people have gone looking for alternatives and landed on Sam Barber and this song with Avery Anna who is an American country singer who released an album that I never around to hearing and well...this is fine enough, it's a song where this couple is on the edge of a break up and there's a lot of wistful regret as they get set to part ways over sparse guitars, I do wish there was more interplay between Barber and Anna which does kind of hurt the song but it's still good. Check it out. 

36. "Smile" by Morgan Wallen

Sigh...I don't enjoy reviewing Morgan Wallen's music in case you cannot tell, I just find it miserable and his nasal drone makes me think he is singing through a cold but anyway we have this new song and while it's nowhere as contemptible as some of his absolute worst songs...this just isn't any good at all, the beat is too stiff and sterile and Morgan Wallen makes the song all about his jealousy that this girl only smiles when she isn't talking to him. There's this weird condescension that makes this song a painful listen. Next.

34. "Somedays" by Sonny Fodera, D.O.D and Jazzy

So Sonny Fodera is a UK based Australian house producer currently living in London, he teamed up with English producer D.O.D and Irish singer Jazzy who has been notching hits in the UK by featuring on some pretty awful songs with Belters Only but unlike the Belters Only, this song is solid, there's enough of a foundation to this song with that gentle keyboard beat and there's enough sense to ensure that the song isn't a dud plus the lyrics encourage people to not get discouraged, keep fighting and eventually your turn to shine will come. Good song.

That wraps the week and honestly...not too bad! "Smile" by Morgan Wallen nets the worst of the week. I think the best of the week will go to "Push 2 Start" by Tyla as I see myself returning to that song more but it was close.

Next week..I am not sure, we'll have to see. 

Top Ten Worst Hit Songs of 1993

 Ahh...1993...the year Sydney won the hosting rights to the 2000 Olympics, the Waco siege, the then PM Keating denying allegations of having an involvement in a salami venture and Sbane Warne confuses Mike Gatting with the ball of century during the 1993 Ashes series in England but aside from the year being mostly uneventful, how was the popular music of 1993?

Whoo boy, if there was any year that could be stamped as mediocre...1993 would fall into this category which mostly comes from the fact the music industry was still trying to figure out what popular music would sound like in the 1990s because they spent 1990 to 1992 furiously still masturbating over sounds from the 80s that had been tired a long time ago and probably should have been retired, now in 1993, the 80s sounds were still around but they were becoming a thing of the past and the songs that used those sounds haven't aged very well. 

Also should be noted that in 1993, grunge was beginning to coalesce but wouldn't become a true force on the charts until 1994.

1993 was also the year of a few too many cover songs of which a few were for better but mostly for worse and that will be reflected on this list because dear god, there's some garbage that needs to be taken out and disposed of before we deal with the truly good to great hits 1993 gave us so before we dive into the 1993 pop music garbage, lets go through the rules, a song can make this list if it debuts on the year end list from ARIA ib 1993 or peaked higher on the 1993 year end than it did in 1992, there has to be something aggressively wrong with the song to make the list so boring can be a factor but it's never going to be the main reason wby a song makes this list and finally, this is just my opinion,, honestly most top ten best and worst hitt songs lists should just be taken as a creator's opinion anyway.

Alright so n0w that's done, let's get this roadshow of unfiltered garbage on the move, starting with ..

Number Ten

So in 1993, reggae was a thing on the charts and one of the biggest acts on the charts were Jamaican act Inner Circle and honestly, they did provide some variety on the charts in 1993....just a shame their biggest hit is a shocker...

"Sweat (A La La La La Long)" by Inner Circle

I don't mind reggae and at first this song didn't bother me, the chorus is catchy and the instrumentation is bright and cheeful but dig a little deeper, listen to the lyrics and holy hell, does this song get gross, he describes seeing this pretty girl across room smiling at him, goes to talk to her, gets nervous and says "Girl, I want to make you swear, sweat til you can't sweat no more" which is just fucking gross and about as romantic as a guy walking up to a girl and say "Hi, I'd like to give you genital herpes, can we have sex?" 

Oh wait, it gets worse, he tells her if she cries out, he is going to push it some more which is just fucking icky in all the worst ways possible. In short this song with its gauzyproduction that makes reggae sound curdled and ugly, it's the sort of song that makes me feel disgusting by the end of it....enough said, time to move on.

Number Nine

Not much makes my year end worst list on pure annoyance alone but 1992 had plenty of annoying Eurodance and 1993 was no different so....

"Somebody Dance With Me" by DJ Bobo

So unlike the previous song which I said was disgusting and gross, "Somebody Dance With Me" earns its slot on this list for being just an overall form of aural torture to sit through...sure it's not on the same level as my 1992 worst hit "James Brown is Dead' hence why it's lower on this list but dear god, this just makes me want to send a burning dead fetus through a wall especially with those limp ass vocals and a beat more compressed than a rose in a fucking book of thorns...NEXT!

Number Eight

So you might remember that I reviewed this particular song toward the very end of the chart year for 1992 and as it turned out this song made the year end for 1993 because apparently, we cannot have good things anymore. Australia  and further to songs here for being completely annoying.

"Jump" by The Movement

Oh god, give me "Jump" by Kriss Kross because at least the kids in that groip had the fucking charisma to sell the song and not come off as obnoxious as The Movement do here in their commands for people to jump made all the worse by production that lacks a coherent melody and just sounds like noise for kids in nightclubs to get off to...if they possibly can. This should remain forgotten...next!

Number Seven

You know I have come to realize that when making worst hits lists especially for the late 80s and early to mid 90s, there's guaranteed to be a terrible cover or two, songs that sound like pure noise pollution and...Bryan Adams.

"Please Forgive Me" by Bryan Adams

So by 1991. Btyan Adams had gone from being...fine and having a song or two I actually like ("Back to You" and "Can't Stop this Thing We Started") but then he became a glotified simp by releasing the pitifully boring "Everything I Do (I Do it for You)" and of course it became the biggest hit of 1991 which sent the message that instead of bangers, the public wanted sensitive new age guy from Bryan Adans even that shtick was bound to not work for Bon Jovi so in 1093 we got this wretched nonsense where Adams prostrates himself at this woman and it just gets incredibly creepy from there, dude the way you are carrying on is not the least bit attractive.

In cases like this, the woman at the centre of this song can and probably should do a lot better fpr herself while the rest of us shudder in disbelief at how gross and clingy this whole song is. Time to move on

Number Six

Yeah, that pass we gave Peter Andre for "Gimme A Little Sign" was short lived now, wasn't it?

"Funky Junky" by Peter Andre

You might all remember that I liked Peter Andre's cover of "Gimme A Little Sign" during "Good 1992 Vibrations" but this garbage completely erased any goodwill I had for this guy because, while the music is rather funky and probably would appeal in 2025 to someone like a Bruno Mars etc whenever pop music gets around to furiously masturbating over the nineties, there is just no way Peter Andre's tinny voice in the mix can sell it especially if his record company had it in their brains that he was going to be Australia's answer to Michael Jackson which is all sorts of wrong.

Then there's the lyrics that are the sort of cringe that even meme loving millennials and gen z today would avoid like the scrotal cancer they are. Next.

Number Five

And back we go to songs that are here because they truly sound atrocious...

"Jump Around" by House of Pain

Oh god, another song with the word 'jump' in the title that gives me a splitting headache every time I attempt to listen to it with the record scratching that sounds like a cat is literally scratching out the bottom of a litter box. somebody wheezing or that unholy sound of fingernails sliding down a chalkboard then again when the group's name is House of Pain, the fact that this song is so unpleasant to listen to makes an absurd amount of sense.

Also the rapping is delivered with the same enthusiasm as somebody lining up repeatedly to get kicked in the nuts, he sounds miserable, at least the ones yelling "jump around" sound enthusiastic. House of Pain, you can get on your pogo sticks and jump around to this audio torture but it's not for me.

Number Four

So three of my last four are cover songs...not shocking for me...but some of these are truly some of the most abysmal covers I have ever heard in my life and we start with one that might surprise some people

"You're So Vain" by Chocolate Starfish

Yeah, let's tackle a cover of Carly Simon's classic "You're So Vain" that was released by a band whose name is derived from slang for a poo covered arsehole which by the way could not be a more appropriate description of this cover version where there's none of the poise or anger that Simon showed when she was taking down a narcissist yet the lead singer's delivery sounds like that of a man who would be the narcissist and it just comes across as weird. 

The instrumentation is choppy and does nothing to back up the weak vocal performances. The reason why this is only at number four is...well...

Number Three

Remember how there were a whole bunch of songs that used nursery rhymes for their bad songs eg: Gayle and Leah Kate earlier in the 2020s? You might have to forgive them because in 1993, we got this....

"Three Little Pigs" by Green Jelly

Alright so Green Jelly were a 90s comedic punk rock band except unlike Weird Al Yankovic considerably less funny,,,take for their example this song which somehow became Green Jelly's biggest hit which turns children/s rhyme "Three Little Pigs": into the most grating  piece of so called grating piece of musical comedy I have ever heard. For one the vocal delivery is so camp and ridiculous that you can only laugh in bewilderment at how stupid it is especially for the pigs who all sound like they had to get on helium highs in order for them to sound that fucking squeaky.

This isn't funny, its just really badly done camp that continues to age badly.

Number Two

Turns out there's another one from the 1992 worst list here, welcome back UB40.

"I Can't Help Falling in Love With You" by UB40

This probably should be my number one, it is considered by many to be one of the worst hits of the 90s by people especially as it mangles one of Elvis Presley's most sincere and honestly beautiful love ballads with its pretty damn terrible soulless pop reggae that sounds like somebody was put plastic and styrofoam around his heart. Oh and Ali Campbell can't muster up anywhere near the emotion to sell this song or convince anyone that he is falling in love with them, you'd think in a song where he is confessing his love for this person that he'd sound genuinely emotional or lovestruck but there's nothing almost like any emotional has been botoxed away and replaced by this cardboard stiffness that permeates the whole track and makes it completely nauseating.

Sometimes the worst song of any given year stands out because the song is just a reprehensible entry in the pop culture of a given year or it just sounds like complete shit however in this case...the hatred becomes personal and hence we got a cover song that makes my blood run cold every time I hear it and thus...

Number One

"West End Girls" by East 17

The moment I heard this, I knew it would be my number one on this list if it made the ARIA  year end list for 1993 which it did so here we are, British boy band East 17 in their infinite wisdom decided to record a cover of Pet Shop Boys 1986 hit "West End Girls", a song that I have adored for years because of the passion and intensity that the Pet Shop Boys deliver the lyrics with, yet East 17 amp up a piano refrajn to repeat over and over  while numbly reciting the rap verses like the words originally written by Neil Tennant and Chris Lowe wrote were just instructions on how to put together IKEA furniture...like come on.

Then as if it coudln't get any worse, throw in the hip hop record scratch noises that are completely unnecessary and add absolutely nothing to the song. Fuck this trash, it's the worst hit song of 1993.