Lookin' Fine '89. 8th January. Two Hearts of Every Rose Imagine Especially You for A Cuppla Days

Brand new year and it's now time to see how the first chart of 1989 is shaping up after the hiatus over Christmas and New Year and we are starting 1989 with a new number one that being "Kokomo" by the Beach Boys...just a shame that the song itself is pretty damn terrible, it's got none of the driving energy past great Beach Boys songs have and just ends up falling flat..

However it does have competition coming from a new entry this week that being "Especially For You" by Kylie & Jason. I'll talk more about the song's quality later but it's here through strong sales...probably from people who are looking at this song through a Scott and Charlene from Neighbours lens. 

All this saw the final number one of 1988  "Don't Worry, Be Happy" by Bobby McFerrin slip two places to number three...I don't have an opinion either way about this one...I guess I tolerate it to a degree?

Stuck at number four is 1927's "If I Could", a song that I actually really like and happy to see it doing well! 

Slipping two places to number five is the bland "Groovy Kind of Love" by Phil Collins. We've got more Phil Collins to get to later in the new entries. 

In better news, 'Handle With Care" by supergroup The Traveling Wilbury climbed two places to number six. Yeah, this song is great so nice to see it in the top ten. 

It pushed past "The Only Way is Up" by Yazz and The Plastic Population which slipped two places to number seven because yeah...about time...

There's another new arrival in the top ten this time thanks to Womack & Womack with "Teardrops" rising five places to number eight.

Transvision Vamp stay steady this week with "I Want Your Love" at number nine while rounding out the top ten is the second top ten entry for Jason Donovan with "Nothing Can Divide Us" down three places to number ten.

Gains

"She Makes My Day" by Robert Palmer rose six places to break into the top twenty at number 20 while "Put A little Love In Your Heart" by Annie Lennox and Al Green climbed from 22 to 19. 

"Stand Up for Your Love Rights" by Yazz looks to be following in the steps of  "Only Way is Up" as it rose from 29 to 22 this week while "Love Bites" by Def Leppard climbed ten places to 23 and "Angel of Harlem" by U2 got a major boost from 42 to 25. 

Rick Astley's "She Wants to Dance With Me" jumped from 41 to 36.

Losers

So it's been a busy week on the losers as former hits of 1988 start making their way out, let's begin with "Let's Stick Together (Westside '88 Remix)" by Bryan Ferry which tumbled eleven places to 49 (I'm fine with this as I really cannot stand the original at all). 

"Domino Dancing" by Pet Shop Boys is finally showing some signs of exhaustion down from 39 to 46 while "Love, Truth and honesty' by Bananarama got hit with a twelve place drop to number 44. 

The Angels have their "Finger on the Trigger" of a chart exit as their single tumbled from 34 to 41. 

"Two Strong Hearts" by John Farnham might be starting to experience heart failure as it tumbled eleven places to 39 while "All I Do" by Daryl Braithwaite slipped from 23 to 37. "Stop Your Fussin'" by Toni Childs fussed down fifteen places to 35, it wasn't a good week for Toni as her other hit "Don't Walk Away" slipped from 17 to 29

Robert Palmer's massive hit in 1988,  "Simply Irresistible" took a ten place hit to 34 while "Desire" by U2 suffered the biggest fall of the week down from 16 to 33.

New Entries

So we're starting 1989 off with eight new entries to the singles chart so let's begin our look at these with...oh good lord....

48. "A Cuppla Days" by Con The Fruiterer

So we're starting off on a weird note and I get the feeling that this song was inspired in part thanks to Comedy Company cast mate Kylie Mole having traction on the chart in 1988 that we get this from Company's fruit and vege shop owner Con Dickaletus aka Con the Fruiterer. The music certainly fits for the song and the lyrics are all about managing a fruit and vege shop and are pretty dang funny, look, it's a silly comedy novelty song that got here by the fact that the Comedy Company is popular and even if I don't see sticking around, I can't hate it, it's good fun. 

43. "Two Hearts" by Phil Collins

Okay so after a novelty song...we get a new single from an artist who solo is utterly mediocre...I'm sorry but I've just never ever cared for a Phil Collins song outside of Genesis and "Groovy Kind of Love" is the sort of song I'd expect from a guy whose hits include "Against All Odds" and "In the Air Tonight" so anyway how's his latest single from his 1988 album "Buster"? Well I'll say this...it's nice to hear a more upbeat song than the maudlin "Groovy Kind of Love", it's got a bit of a soul vibe that kind of works in the song's favour in terms of giving it some groove and even if the handclaps can get annoying...I'm fine with this right now. 

42. "I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)" by The Proclaimers

A Scottish duo for whom this song is their lead single from their 1988 album "Sunshine on Leith", the song was apparently written while waiting to attend a Sottish football game in Aberdeen but you know what? This song winds up being fantastic...that hook is enough to get stuck in your head for days on end as The Proclaimers say they will always be there for their significant other and walk to the ends of the earth even if they have to go 500 miles or more to do anything for their partners...definitely a lot of fun. Check this out.

38. "Smooth Criminal' by Michael Jackson

Okay, so the new single from Michael Jackson with it being the seventh for his 1987 album "Bad" and well yeah, this is awesome even if I don't think it's the best single from "Bad', MJ's charisma still shines here over that memorable riff as the lyrics tell the story of a woman who was attacked by a man labelled as a 'smooth criminal and the chorus making sure this woman named Annie (apparently inspired by the name of the CPR mannequin at the time) and the screams from Michael fit here too and he knows enough to play up the suspense so yeah...this is a really damn good song!

28. "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" by Poison

So now we've got American band Poison dipping into power ballad mode and while the instrumentation does feel powerful even i a little overwrought, the lyrics just feel really flat. The song was inspired by lead singer Bret Michaels ringing his girlfriend from a laundromat only to find out his girlfriend was cheating on him which only makes this song feel even weirder, this just doesn't resonate for me at all...there's no anger or rage here. This doesn't do a thing for me at all, I'm moving on from this.

21. "Imagine" by John Lennon and The Plastic Ono Band

Okay this song is from John's 1971 album of the same name, a kind of bare bones piano ballad where John Lennon asks for people to imagine the world without particular things and I have to be honest here, the song just feels like an empty vessel...yes, it might want to preach the ideal of peace but it's got this weirdly empty way of doing so and I'm not sure that lyrically the song achieves what it sets out to do, it's not precisely bad but it's a song that's strong enough to make me care either way.

 

16. "Je Ne Sais Pas Pourquoi" by Kylie Minogue

       (I Do Not Know Why)

So here's the fourth single from Kylie Minogue's debut album "Kylie" and well, I kind of like this one? Yeah it's got drum machines, synthesisers and some minor guitar riffs and Kylie sounds the best she has on any of the singles here than she has on any of the previous three singles however it's the content of this song that does a lot of the heavy lifting where Kylie wonders why she still loves and wants this asshole given he is never with her and off doing something else without calling her to let her know and leaving her feeling stood up and let down...I'll take this unlike...

2. "Especially for You" by Kylie & Jason

Well this collab between Kylie Minogue and Jason Donavan seemed inevitable considering that their characters Charlene Mitchell and Scott Robinson got married on Neighbours in 1987 and honestly this song has got to be the most awkward duet I've ever heard especially as it''s the pair of them crooning back and forth about how they've missed each other while they've been apart and with these two, it can tend to come across as kind of weirdly saccharine or really uncomfortably awkward and to a degree corny....it's not my thing.

Howver it's not the worst of the week with that going to "Every Rose Has It's Thorn" by Poison. I'm going to give dishonourable mention to "Imagine" by John Lennon...sorry...I'm just not a huge fan of how empty that song is.

As for the best...we do have some options here. I'm giving best of the week to "Smooth Criminal" by Michael Jackson with "I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)" by The Proclaimers just edging out "Two Hearts" by Phil Collins for the honourable mention.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

Top Ten Best Hit Songs of 1992

It’s time to flip the script and talk about the songs that made 1992 somewhat tolerable to a large degree. I wasn’t lying when I said that 1992 was a rough year for the ARIA singles chart with rock having an incredible year with quality everywhere, pop also had its moments of quality as did hip hop and R’n’B but overall the year trended toward dull and sappy ballads especially in pop and the New Jack Swing sound is starting to sound really washed out however I did manage to piece together a top ten best hit songs along with five honourable mentions but before we get started, let’s go over the rules…

1.       For a song to make this list, it must have made the ARIA Year End top 100 for 1992… a song from 1991 is eligible if it peaked higher on the 1992 year end than it did in 1991.

2.       This isn’t a definitive list of the best songs of 1992; this list is my opinion only. Not that of any music historian or what any outlet would choose to canonise from a specific year (I am certain a few choices here would have me thrown out anyway).

Now that’s clear, let’s get the show on the road with a song that I’m certain will be one of the most contentious picks of this list but the more I heard this song the more it made me love it so thus…

 

10. “I Love Your Smile” by Shanice

I think I seem to spare my number ten pick on the best list for any given year for a guilty pleasure song, songs that I love but know they would never be canonised by the critical set and “I Love Your Smile” by Shanice is one of those kind of songs..hell, I’ve seen it on worst lists for 1992 however I could never bring myself to hate this song, it’s a pop/r’n’b song where she’s in love with this guy’s smile and wants to be a better person because of this guy, it’s kind of cute…even if I am not sure Shanice should be sitting in class daydreaming and staring out the window…

Also, Shanice’s inflection on the line “I love your smile” makes the song feel incredibly genuine and the production even with the whistling (doesn’t help the song at all and put a couple of slots lower than I would have placed it) gives the song an infectious spirit that makes me want to tap my toes, it’s that bright, warm sunny song that makes my day every time I hear it…makes me feel better on a bad day, it’s not perfect but yeah sometimes it’s that song I need to hear.

 

So we’re going straight from a bright sunny pop/r’n’b song where the song is just scratching the surface to a song that is dealing with a considerably darker subject matter…

 

9. “Tennessee” by Arrested Development

Yeah, this is a tough song to write about but it deserved it’s place here, it’s a song inspired by Arrested Development’s frontman Speech meeting up with his brother at their grandmother’s funeral only for his brother to die in the same week as their grandmother’s funeral due to a severe asthma attack and as a way of coping and sorting through the trauma, Speech wrote “Tennessee” and asking whoever is up there to look after him in life and guide him knowing the last place he saw the people he loves alive was in Tennessee.

It’s this slice of catchy hip hop riding a sample of Prince’s 1988 song “Alphabet Street” with the production being upbeat which makes sense given that Speech is healing and trying to find his way in the world and honestly, I think I love it for the reason that it’s a song about finding hope even when those you love pass on, it works for that reason. I’m only sad it took me until 2021 to find it, great song!

 

You might remember that I said 1992 was a great year for rock music, well here’s the first proof of that…

 

8. “Nothing Else Matters” by Metallica

That haunting guitar in the beginning that introduces the song and gives the song the lonely vibe before the drums kick in precisely before James Hetfield starts singing about the constant touring the band was doing at the time and missing somebody who is at home but more importantly the song never actually defines who that person is that Hetfield is missing (he has said in interviews it was a song for his girlfriend at the time) which allows for that more personal connection for the listener and really just makes the song hit even harder and even more powerfully especially as the orchestra kicks in.

To those of you who have only heard the Miley Cyrus cover of the song, I really recommend going back and listening to the original because yeah while Miley’s cover is damn good, the gut punch in the original is even more powerful and stronger.

 

Well, this was a rough pick, two songs by the same artist fought over this spot hard but in the end I ended up going with…

 

7. “Not a Day Goes By” by Rick Price

I agonised over this slot so much because “Heaven Knows” is a beautiful piano ballad that I wish I could have found room for in the top ten on this list however I gave it to “Not a Day Goes By” because Rick Price sells the frustration with himself here damn well, he is wondering what he did to drive this girl away and wonders how he got to being this person that so badly needs somebody he can cuddle at night and feels lost without her and the hook sounds so genuinely sweet and sincere in telling her, he is constantly thinking of her. Throw in the keyboards and guitars supporting Price’s vocals and I was sold…this is a great Aussie pop/rock song.

 

Originally, I was planning to leave this song off the list altogether not even an honourable mention but when I relistened to it to be sure of my feelings about it…the more I realized the song deserved to be on the list and well…

 

6. “Djapana (Sunset Dreaming)” by Yothu Yindi

I was shocked this made the year end for 1992, sure, Yothu Yindi had a massive year in 1991 thanks to “Treaty” but “Djapana (Sunset Dreaming)” didn’t even feel like a hit and I am also surprised just how much of a forgotten gem of a song it is in Australian music especially when you consider just how well traditional Aboriginal instrumentation like the didgeridoo and clapsticks blend in with the more European style electronic elements with the lyrics taken directly from age old ceremonial repertoires  that belonged to Gumatj and Rirratjingu clans, musing on that red sun sinking in the sky taking the vocalist back in his mind to memories of home as he battles homesickness and worry, something that in the end even as a white person even with my worries being very different than those of those missing their mobs in Arnhem Land, this song resonated for me at the end of things and I am so glad it made my list.

 

Well, I don’t think I need to even introduce this song…

 

5. “Under the Bridge’ by Red Hot Chili Peppers

Let’s not mince words here, “Under the Bridge” is the sort of rock behemoth that is unmatched even by the Red Hot Chili Peppers themselves, it’s the sort of killer rock song that blows the listener away and remains a rock classic to this day. Lead vocalist Anthony Kiedis wrote the song to vent his feelings of despondency, loneliness and just how much narcotics had impacted his life to the point he was recording “Blood Sugar Sex Magik” with the rest of Red Hot Chili Peppers and right from the outside you can feel the loneliness in Kiedis vocal delivery. So glad that the Peppers producer Rick Rubin encouraged Kiedis to share the lyrics because otherwise we might not have gotten absolute rock classic.

 

I don’t know what it says about me that this next song flung itself so high up this list but yeah, this song got here by breaking my heart…

 

4. “Sometimes Love Just Ain’t Enough” by Patty Smyth and Don Henley

I am going to keep this one brief because I’m not sure how I can explain how or why this song hits me the way it does, it’s the moment where a relationship is on the verge of breaking down because not working how they want it to and they realize they’ve been blind to it because they still love each other but love isn’t enough to justify staying in a crumbling relationship. It’s a song that just gets way too real and honest and sometimes a song like this is what is needed…I’ll leave it right there…

 

Well, that got dark and too real for moment there…so let’s brighten this list up for moment, shall we?

3. “Jump” by Kriss Kross

I don’t know how anyone can listen to “Jump!” and not at least nod their head with it, it’s this 3 minute 15 second lightning in a bottle of a debut single which samples artists ranging from Jackson 5 to Naughty by Nature, it should have been a mess of a song but no, thanks to the production team, it works better than it has any right to. The lyrics written by producer Jermaine Dupri after he observed people jumping at a concert and performed by two twelve year olds from Atlanta manage to have more charisma and energy than most of the trap scene in 2021. We don’t get these sort energetic rap songs with a damn good groove and magic choice of sampling in 2021 but we got it in 1992, I guess that’s something to be grateful to 1992 for? Right?

This song was all set to be my number one pick, hell, this is a song I’ve LOVED for years, it’s an instant thing for me to sing along to it on the radio but something has to finish second thus…

 

2. “Tip of My Tongue” by Diesel

Yeah, that guitar line gets me every god damn time and Diesel expressing that frustration of knowing what he wants to say to this girl to the point the words are right there and he is about to say but he gets nervous when she gets close, he forgets and she walks away with Diesel begging her not to walk away. It’s the sort of song that is just an easy sing along every time which is something Diesel is so good at especially on his “Hepfidelity” even with the hook being more repetitive than I would like, it’s still one of the best hit songs of 1992. Great song

 

So before we get to our number one, how about five honourable mentions

 

HM 1: “Take It From Me” by Girlfriend

Of all the songs from girl groups to hit the chart in 1992, Girlfriend’s ‘Take It From Me” was the best of them especially as Girlfriend and “Take It from Me” becoming a hit were probably responsible for the start of the girl power trend that would become big in music in the mid 90s however what I like about “Take It From Me” is that it’s just a simple pop song about this girl reassuring a boy that he doesn’t need to cry or carry on anymore as he can trust her and she’ll be good to him. I enjoyed Girlfriend way more than I probably should!

 

HM 2: “That Word (L.O.V.E)” by The Rockmelons feat. Cutty Ranks, Nardo Ranks and Deni Hines

Speaking of simple pop songs…this one hit the joy receptors like nothing else. Every time I heard this song it made me smile and that hook is an absolute monster. Damn good song

 

HM 3: “Remember the Time” by Michael Jackson

This is not the best Michael Jackson single in 1992 but of anything of Michael’s to make the year end for 1992, I’d take “Remember the Time” over anything else especially with that new jack swing style that was common this year and often misused. The song inspired by Michael describing how he fell in love; the song was dedicated to Jackson’s friend Diana Ross. Pop music misses you, Michael.

 

HM 4: “Justified & Ancient” by The KLF

Yeah, time didn’t do this song any favours unfortunately, the song is still good though and still worth being among the best of 1992 as it takes country singer Tammy Wynette’s vocals and actually references her signature hit “Stand by Your Man” thanks  to the ever so subtle steel guitar, it was the oddest pairing of 1992 but sometimes an odd pairing makes a good hit together and that was the case here!

 

HM 5: “Heaven Knows” by Rick Price

This was so close to making the top ten so much so I couldn’t justify not giving it an honourable mention, it’s a beautiful piano ballad where Rick Price is missing this girl since she left but knows he can’t chase her forever and leaves it all up to the heavens above hoping that heaven knows that he will see her again someday. It’s a song that just got to me the moment I heard so I guess consider this my official number 11.

 

Well now to our number one and yeah, this is a cover but my god, this is a cover that improves on the original and rips you apart at the same time….

1. “The Day You Went Away” by Wendy Matthews

Until now, I had never come to terms with how I felt about “The Day You Went Away” since I first heard it some years ago, it was a fine song that didn’t resonate with me as per a lot of songs filled with more adult concepts did when I was a kid growing up in the 90s however having gone back to listen to it for covering 1992’s popular music, this song just became that proverbial gut punch ins the stomach over a spare piano and Wendy Matthews selling the anger and bitterness that comes sometimes with relationship break up for me and my god it did so much more effectively than that of the original by Soul Family Sensation. It’s a powerful song that just does everything well which for a ballad in 1992 is something worth recognising as most ballads in 1992 sunk into nonsense or were weepy and overwrought but “The Day You Went Away” isn’t overwrought or weepy, it got the mix right and for that, it’s the best hit song of 1992.

Top Ten Worst Hit Songs of 1992.

 We’ve reached the end of another year and it’s time to sift through the ARIA year end for 1992 looking for the absolute best and worst music the year had to offer so today we’ll be discussing the absolute worst songs of the year.

How was the music of 1992? Unfortunately, 1992 won’t go down as an all time great year for the ARIA singles chart with really only rock having an outstanding year, pop had its moments sure as did hip hop and R’n’B but there was a LOT of bland, sappy and really generic music hitting the charts this year that were really obnoxious with just how bland, boring and sappy some of them were so I really just want to get through this list so I can talk about the stuff that actually stood out as being good to great.

Before we do get to the list, I will go over the rules for any newcomers:

1.       A song qualifies if it debuted on the ARIA year end list for 1992, there are exceptions for 1991 songs IF they made the year end list for 1992 and peaked higher on the 1992 list than they did in 1991 so yes, “Cream” by Prince & the New Power Generation is eligible. Mercifully “Addams Groove” by Hammer did not make the year end list…THANK FUCKING CHRIST.

2.       This is my list, my opinion. Please do not take my opinion as fact or abuse me in the comments.

Now we’ve got that straight let’s toss some garbage music into the rubbish bin permanently.

 

So as I said, rock had a fantastic year in 1992 so this particular song leaves me asking the question: What’s the excuse for this song sucking so god damn much?

10. “To be With You” by Mr Big.

In a year where rock from Metallica, Red Hot Chili Peppers and even Guns ‘N’ Roses attained chart success and managed to also be excellent, I am not sure just how and why this brand of lazy gooey shlock dressed as rock music managed to get to number one and stay there for THREE weeks. What is worse is that the lyrics seem like the early prototype that Shawn Mendes built his 2016 (terrible) hit “Treat You Better:” around, this guy just seems like the archetypal ‘nice guy’ who is telling this girl that her relationship will soon be over and when that relationship is done, she can be with him because why be with a bad boy rather than the nice guy?

Maybe this girl might be happier on her than with either of these two guys and given the production on offer here with the vocal delivery so loud that you can barely hear the actual music. Ugh, fate might have twisted the guy’s relationship, but this was always destined to wind up on the worst list for being one of the worst kinds of ‘nice guy’ bullying.

 

There are two covers that are going to make this list, the first of which is from the soundtrack of a movie and gave this artist yet another hit…just a shame it sucks…

 

9. “I Will Always Love You” by Whitney Houston

Ooh boy this is going to get me into some trouble however I get irrationally angry when I hear people say that this overwrought train wreck cover of Dolly Parton’s 1974 hit for the soundtrack of the movie ‘The Bodyguard’ is one of the great movie songs mostly because Whitney’s over the top vocals on the chorus just feel so insincere and lacking, it feels forced especially when you consider that the original version has Dolly deliver the chorus in an incredibly understated manner without the theatrics.  We know Whitney can belt but there really was not a need here for the belting so yeah, I have no time for this cover or the vocal gymnastics that make it complete overkill. Thank goodness we will always have Dolly’s original. Whitney did so much better in the 80s.

 

So while Whitney Houston was belting her lungs out in 1992, in the same year, Madonna was changing things up again…kind of wish she rethought this song though…

 

8. “This Used to be my Playground’ by Madonna

This song was used at the end credits of a COMEDY film called “A League of Their Own” which during my research for this list shocked me because this song doesn’t sound like anything close to being appropriate for a movie designated for a comedy film because this just sounds like it might do of two things to somebody who, for some insane reason, chose to listen to it, those being cry or they are suffering from insomnia and this song provides a good sleeping soundtrack  because unlike most playgrounds which are bright, colourful and full of noise, this song is shades of black, white and grey is possibly the most dreary song Madonna has ever decided to record.

Seriously, there’s no conceivable way for somebody to enjoy this song, it‘s too dull to really dance too and so slow and boring that if you try to relax to it, you’d end up falling asleep. Madonna, I say this unequivocally, you are so much better than THIS.

 

Say what you like about Madonna exploring being miserable, at least it’s marginally better than whatever the hell this was…

 

7. “Sesame’s Treet” by Smart Es.

I am going to keep this short but if you must include the theme song to a beloved children’s TV show in your noisy torturous sorry excuse of a dance song that sounds like a gurgling drain half the time than you can probably expect to land on lists like this one. Not to mention it sounds like the children singing the Sesame Street theme sound incredibly pitched up and kind of annoying to the point it’s headache inducing. Not the first song to do that but this is the remix of children’s TV show theme that felt incredibly unnecessary…NEXT!

 

Well, that was annoying but then again it could be worse, take a song about that’s clearly about sex and inflate it with going to heaven and you get this…

 

6. ‘Thought I’d Died and Gone to Heaven” by Bryan Adams

This wasn’t even the worst song Bryan Adams released in 1992 that thankfully didn’t make the year end list but my god does “Thought I’d Died and Gone to Heaven’ earn it’s spot on this list with the levels of cringe not seen since Adams inflicted his simp anthem “Everything I Do (I Do It For You)” on the world in 1991 but at least that song had a weird veneer of sincerity to it because “Thought I’d Died and Gone to Heaven” is basically about Bryan Adams having sex with this girl and this girl being so good in the sack, he has nutted or to coin him the song, he thinks he has died and gone to heaven yet the instrumentation doesn’t match with the vibe the song is going for unless it’s the loudest possible sex that wakes neighbours and triggers dogs to bark three doors down with shrill guitars, the weird production on Adams vocals that leave him down too low in the mix and those shouted “Whoa ohs” on the hook which I guess is supposed to be for “I’M NUTTING!”

This song is just all kinds of…no…if this song helps you to get off than good luck to you but this isn’t going to be any sort of go to for sexy time in my household any time soon…NEXT!

 

Well at least when the relationship falls over, I wouldn’t go asking for advice from this next song…

 

5. “Achy Breaky Heart” by Billy Ray Cyrus

This ode to crappy relationship break ups and ‘nice guy’ guilt tripping was the biggest song of 1992 yet somehow nobody has called Billy Ray out for this absolute piece of shit of song because this song is a pointer of how immature this whole thing really is, he tells her she can do whatever she wants as long as she doesn’t tell his ‘achy breaky heart’ because his pathetically weak heart might blow up and kill him which just makes him sound like a guilt tripping asshole because he is too weak to handle a woman breaking up with him and Billy Ray doesn’t even realize just how much of an asshole he is being here. Oh and that “woooo” at the end of the chorus sounds like sleazy men at a strip club ogling the first dancer on stage which is just gross.

Anyway, Billy Ray Cyrus is now known for the much better feature on a Lil Nas X song which is probably a good thing going forward…

 

You all know by now having seen my past worst hit songs lists that bad cover songs grind my gears…well in 1992, there were plenty of them and a lot of them were bad that I almost could have done a list of worst hit cover songs for 1992 but then I remembered that one Australian trio had cornered the market in shitty cover songs that deserved to be here so let’s deal with that group shall we..

 

4, “Be My Baby” by Teen Queens

Okay really I could have thrown ‘Love How You Love Me” in this slot here too because yeah, the songs are basically the same, take a hit song from the 60s, slap a generic 90s dance groove over the top and include vocals that are beyond over processed which is exactly what occurred to this disastrous cover of The Ronettes “Be My Baby”, at least that group had passion for wanting this guy to be theirs but Teen Queens make it sound like it’s a chore or something to sing while busking out the front of a supermarket or even worse cruise ship lounge singers that come on when every one is either drunk or asleep and that’s when you can even hear them singing because the production mostly comes in over the top of them. I may not like the original much, but I’ll sure take it over what Teen Queens offer up here.

 

Oh wait...we’re not done with bad covers because…

 

3.       3. "Please Don't Go" by K.W.S

Probably the most predictable pick here but when you strip out the warmth and sincerity of KC and the Sunshine Band’s original which was a hit in 1980 and replace it with synthetic and sterile production and vocallists who sound like they need having passion in their delivery explained to them because they deliver the line “please don’t go” with the same intensity as a two year who proudly shows everyone that he get his fingers up his nose which is fine if we’re talking about a two year old digging for snotty gold in his nose but it’s not fine in a song about a guy begging a woman to not leave him!

Throw in the usual 90s dance production and it just doesn’t feel at all human or sincere, it feels like it’s just this computer programmed mess which makes the song feel unpleasant and not something I want to ever return to…

 

Well say what you like about the insincerity of K.W.S’s cover of “Please Don’t Go”, sometimes it can dip way too far in the opposite direction where the song just drips with so much sincerity that the song can become unnervingly saccharine and nonsensical…

 

2. “Save The Best for Last” by Vanessa Williams.

Ordinarily a song that’s somehow both saccharine sweet but incredibly dull wouldn’t snare a spot on a list like this especially as you can tell this was an attempt to cash in on the Mariah Carey type of artist, I’d generally look upon it as bland and move on even though I actually think the production here is pretty nice but what tossed this song so god damn high on the list was the asinine lyrics that much like Whitney Houston’s belting on the hook of “I Will Always Love You” are just cringey and overwrought eg: “Sometimes the snow comes down in June, sometimes the sun goes round the moon” on the hook is enough to make anyone roll their eyes…the weather has nothing to do with this guy saving the best for last? There’s no connectivity to make the writing to work here.

Also trashing the guy’s previous girlfriend makes you look incredibly trashy here, Vanessa, and no, you and this guy standing face to face does not make the world crazy. Ugh…time to move on …

 

So before we get to the number one, let’s talk about our dishonourable mentions…

 

DHM1: “Pride in the Name of Love” by Clivilles and Cole

Yeah, wasn’t going to not put this song on a list like this. You don’t take a great U2 song and turn it into a messy Eurodance song. U2 deserve more respect than this.

DHM2: “Everything About You (“As Ugly As They Wanna Be” EP)" by Ugly Kid Joe

As I pointed out with “To Be With You” by Mr Big, in a year that was absolutely huge for rock music as a whole, there’s no excuse for this crap excuse of a thing to exist. It’s lazy and by the numbers rock, disappointing it was even a hit considering that in rock in 1992, you could do so much better.

 

DHM3: “Love You Right’ by Euphoria

This could have escaped this list but the vocals on the hook are just obnoxious, you try listening to somebody screaming ‘I WANNA I WANNA LOVE YOU RIGHT!” over and and over again, you’ll find yourself reaching for the earplugs eventually.

 

DHM4: “Something Good” by Utah Saints

Maaan, what was wrong with Eurodance and techno in 1992 that we got messes like this becoming hits, words repeated into shrill incoherence to the point of being annoying. We get it, your group name is Utah Saints, no need to repeat it ad fucking nauseum

 

DHM5: “Beauty & The Beast” by Celine Dion and Peabo Bryson

While there were worse bland ballads in 1992, this one got to the point of being irritating in record time. Celine Dion is a better vocalist than this song allows her to be, it’s an absolute dirge of a song.

 

So with the riff raff taken care of, lets get to the absolute worst song 1992 had to offer and well…it wasn’t going to be anything else…

 

1.  1. “James Brown Is Dead” by L.A. Style

This song is unlistenable, I can’t even get past the first 30 seconds of this piece of junk called “music” and farted out to the masses as a form of audio torture with its painfully obnoxious noise made even worse by the desecration of one of the great names of soul and funk music in James Brown.  There’s nothing in this song that adds value to the conversation around music other than the fact it’s completely disrespectful to James Brown, there’s just nothing to be gotten from listening to it other than complete frustration, it’s what I imagine gets played on loop by prison wardens when they try to garner information from prisoners…that’s how unpleasant listening to this train wreck of a song is and it’s the worst hit song of 1992 easily.

Stayed tune to find out what I thought were the best hit songs of 1992 and find out the year I'm going to be covering in 2022!

Good 1992 Vibrations. 20th December. Gimme A Little Bad Attitude Sign.

The final chart week of 1992 before the ARIA charts go into hiatus over the Christmas/New Year period but for the final week of the chart year? It was absolute chaos even with just the two new entries, you want evidence of it? Well the proof is right in the top ten where to my shock, there's a new number one and honestly I am not impressed, the number one spot is now held by "I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston because like I said last week, this song was gathering strength on sales, I'm only surprised it got to number one this quick.

It pushed "End of the Road" by Boyz II Men back to number two as yeah, there's no way it was going to match the momentum of "I Will Always Love You", the same might go for "Would I Lie to You" by Charles & Eddie stuck at number three and "Accidently Kelly Street" by Frente remaining at number four, their momentum has been stalled here.

"Achy Breaky Heart" by Billy Ray Cyrus rebounded to number five although that's probably more on the weaknesses of "The Day You Went Away" by Wendy Matthews which saw it's sales slow to the point it tumbled four places to number six 

"November Rain" by Guns 'n' Roses yet steady at number seven likewise for "The Best Things in Life are Free' by Luther Vandross and Janet Jackson at number eight. 

Then we have two songs spending their first week in the top ten those being "Whose Going to Ride Your Wild Horses" by U2 which climbed five places this week to number nine and the really rather goofy "Tequila" by ALT & The Lost Civilization up two places to round out the top ten at number ten.

Gains

Sonia Dada will likely hit the top ten on the first chart of 1993 as "You Don't Treat Me No Good" jumped nine spots to number nine, this has some growing momentum behind it, watch for it in 1993.

Also continuing it's momentum is "In Your Room" by Toni Pearen up six to number 14 while "December, 1963 (Oh, What A Night)" by The Four Seasons reached into the top twenty up from 23 to 18.

"I Ain't Gonna Eat Out My Heart Anymore" by Divinyls rebounded five places to 25 while House of Pain found some solid footing on the chart with their appropriately titled song "Jump Around" jumping around from 40 to 26!.

Also having a solid gain is Kylie Minogue's version of "Celebration" which rose from 49 to 34 this week....I'm kind of fine with that to be honest, I still don't mind it, best thing Kylie has done in 1992.

Losers

"My Name is Prince" by Prince and the New Power Generation slipped nine places to 50 as it continues to make its way out of the chart while "Taste It" by INXS can't get a foothold as it slipped from 37 to 44 this week. 

Continuing cases of lost momentum for "Love How You You Love Me" by Teen Queens which tumbled from 33 to 40 while "Erotica" by Madonna fell six places to 37. 

"Too Much Love Will Kill You" by Brian May fell from 24 to 32 while "White Men Can't Jump" by Riff slumped from 16 to 24.

After weeks of hanging on at number ten, "Something Good" by Utah Saints fell seven to 17 while "Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough" by Patty Smyth and Don Henley fell from number nine to 13.

New Entries

So as I said, just the two new entries to finish the chart year, let's start with...

45. “Gimme A Little Sign” by Peter Andre

Well we couldn’t escape the final week of the charting year for 1998 without another cover song this  time it’s coming from Australian singer Peter Andre covering the classic soul song “Gimme A Little Sign” that was originally performed and released by Brenton Wood in 1967 and I mean, the production on the Peter Andre version is cleaner as he begs this girl for a sign that she belongs to him however there’s something about the Andre version that doesn’t work for me as much as I would like it too even if I do like it a little more than Wood’s original. Ehh, check it out if you are curious.

 

36. “Bad Attitude” by Girlfriend

Taking us out for 1992 is the new single from Girlfriend’s album “Make It Come True”. A song that tries for a darker vibe to match the lyrics where Robyn Loau admitting that she’s drawn to the guys with bad attitude and the rest of the group reminding her that she should have known better to fall for the guy with a bad attitude but in the hook the girls decide to give up on him because he has too much of a bad attitude and is too tough. I like the flashes of rock instrumental that slide into the song which makes me think the band could work a good rock song even with that stupid breakdown in the middle of the song (so unnecessary). Look, it’s not the best thing Girlfriend have made in 1992 but it’s not that bad.

 

No worst of the week this as both songs aren’t that bad but Peter Andre’s cover of “Gimme A Little Sign” wins best of the week just nudging out ‘Bad Attitude” by Girlfriend.

That’s a wrap on the chart year, see you all for the worst and best hit songs of 1992 lists.

ARIA Singles Top 50 Top Ten/Chart Review: 20th December. Wandered To the Jingle Bell Rock To Do It to the Top Ten

 Welp, the Christmas slow down has started because this week was kind of slow with just one new entry but we'll get to all that after we deal with the top ten where "Cold Heart (PNAU remix)" by Elton John and Dua Lipa kept the number one for a fourth week but its most likely going to lose the number one next week.

The challenge probably won't come from "abcdefu" by GAYLE despite it climbing two places to number two...it's challenge for number one might come in the new year.

"Stay" by The Kid Laroi and Justin Bieber remained steady at number three despite a solid presence still on streaming. 

Meanwhile "Easy on Me" by Adele slipped back two places to number four as the song starts fading on streaming. 'Heat Waves' by Glass Animals held steady at number five (can this song just...fuck off already? Geezus)

"Bad Habits" remains at six and "Shivers" stuck at seven both for Ed Sheeran while "All I Want For Christmas is You" by Mariah Carey stuck at number eight (This will go to number one either next week or the week after, it's just taking it's sweet time).

Spending it's first week inside the top ten is "Do It To It" by Acraze feat. Cherish climbing to two places to hit number nine. 

Clinging onto it's place in the top ten is 'Industry Baby" by Lil Nas X feat. Jack Harlow remaining at number ten. 

Gains

Christmas music continued it's big gains this week with 'Last Christmas" by Wham up six places to number 12, "Santa Tell Me" by Ariana Grande jumped ten to 21 and "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" by Brenda Lee rocked up the chart fifteen to 34.

SZA's "I Hate You" climbed three places to number 16 while "Where Are You Now" by Lost Frequencies and Calum Scot climbed nine spots to break into the top twenty at 17.

Unforunately "Enemy" by Imagine Dragons feat. J.I.D also broke into the top twenty jumping four spots to 18. 

"I Am Woman' by Emmy Meli got a fifteen place boost to 28. 

Christmas Re Entries

:"Jingle Bell Rock" by Bobby Helms returns at number 39

Losers

"Drivers License" by Olivia Rodrigo slipped eight places  to 45 while "Without You" by The Kid Laroi feat. Miley Cyrus slipped ten places to 43. 

"Smokin' Out the Window" by Silk Sonic fell six places to 38 while "Oh My God" by Adele fell ten spots to 31. 

"One Right Now" by Post Malone and The Weeknd tumbled six spots to 23 (Kind of wondering if this song is kind of forgettable for the general public tbh)

Drop Outs

Both drop outs are safe on the year end for 2021 with "The Business" by Tiesto and "Astronaut in the Ocean" by Masked Wolf.

New Entries

Just the one new entry this week and unfortunately we have to deal with...

44. "Wandered to LA" by Juice WRLD feat. Justin Bieber

I am going to keep this short and sweet..this is just really medicre cut that was originally created in 2018 and I doubt that Juice WRLD would have wanted to work with Justin Bieber and yet another sign that people are more than willing to suck whatever money they can out of Juice WRLD's grave. Bieber is too loud in the mix in contrast to Juice WRLD who is weirdly pushed back in the mix. Yeah, somebody's wanting coin out of this crap. It's not good.

That wraps up the week. Just two weeks remaining in the chart year, don't forget final episode of Good 1992 Vibrations coming up on Monday and the week after year end best and worst hit songs lists for 1992, the best and worst list hit songs lists for 2021 will be coming some time in the new year, don't worry. 

ARIA chart updates at 5pm AEDT on Friday. 

Good 1992 Vibrations. 13th December. Deeper Celebration of 7 Wild Horses To Love Somebody

 Aaagh. This is one of those weeks that was good in some regards but pretty ordinary in others, let's start with the top ten where of course "End of the Road" by Boyz II Men maintains the number one spot, it's got a decent margin too mostly because "The Day You Went Away" by Wendy Matthews is no longer a challenger stuck at number two. 

In fact it's starting to come under pressure from "Would I Lie to You" by Charles and Eddie which rose to number three, I am kind of surprised and shocked that this of all songs on the chart right now is doing so well but okay?

"Accidently  Kelly Street" by Frente continues its good run rising one spot to number four but there's got competition behind it because the next likely challenger for the top spot comes from...sigh... the frankly overwrought cover of "I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston which rose eleven places off it's debut last week to number 5, it's gaining strength on sales. 

All of this pushed "Achy Breaky Heart" by Billy Ray Cyrus back three places to number six while "November Rain" by Guns 'n' Roses held steady at number seven.

"The Best Things in Life are Free" by Luther Vandross and Janet Jackson slid a further two places this week to number eight while "Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough' by Patty Smyth and Don Henley fell one place to number nine.

Finally "Something Good" by Utah Saints held on for another week at number ten.

Gains

Breaking back into the top twenty is "Jump!" by The Movement which climbed from 23 to 18 while "December, 1963 (Oh, What A Night)" climbed ten places to 33 for The Four Seasons,

Norman & Effie's cover of  "Amigos Para Siempre (Friends for Life)" got a ten place boost to 27 while "People Everfday" by Arrested Development climbed eleven to  28.

Re Entries

So I am okay with our two re entries this week because they are "The Last Song" by Elton John at 44 and "What's Wrong with that Girl" by Rick Price at 45. The former being great and the latter being a decent pop song.

Losers

Alright, let's get through these because a chunk of hits lost hard this week as the chart starts bring in the hits of 1993. 

"Do For You" by Euphoria continues it slide down five to 48 while "Baby Got Back" by Sir Mix A Lot tumbled seven to 47. 

The bad week for the girl groups continued with "Without You" by Girlfriend sliding from 35 to 43 and "Love How You Love Me" by Teen Queens slipping from 26 to 33. 

Prince and the New Power Generation's "My Name is Prince" just utterly collapsed this week, stumbling from 25 to 41 while "Jump Around" by House of Pain fell six places to 40 and "Don't You Want Me" by Felix fell twelve places to 39. 

"Faith" by The Dukes slipped from 29 to 35 while "Love Is in the Air" by John Paul Young hit an eleven place skid to 32 and "Erotica" by Madonna just totally folded down from 15 to 31.

"I Ain't going to eat my Heart Out" by The Divinyls slipped six places to 30 and "Just Another Day" by Jon Secada stumbled from 12 to 19.

Finally former top ten hit "Ain't No Doubt" by Jimmy Nail fell out of the top ten to hit 15 this week.

New Entries

Five new entries this week, let's start with a trend in 1992...A COVER VERSION!

50. “To Love Somebody’ by Michael Bolton

Well it had to happen, I didn’t think I escape 1992 without having to cover a song released or escaped from the studio by Michael Bolton so imagine my despair when I realized he is covering a Bee Gees classic where they have slowed the tempo slightly and turned it into something that would make you think the tape was broken and Michael Bolton is just a really unconvincing presence on the song, Again when the Bees Gees recorded the song, it was an understated emotion filled song that shouldn’t be used by people like Michael Bolton to practice their vocal gymnastics on as it seems Bolton has had a habit of doing to other people’s songs. Time to move on from this trainwreck.

 

49. “Celebration” by Kylie Minogue

Another cover version, this time from Kylie Minogue and she’s covering Kool and the Gang’s “Celebration” and you know what? I kind of like this? Kylie is having some fun with this and sure the percussion sounds a little too heavy in this dance pop song but there’s nothing that feels overtly tacked on to the song to make it sound grating but also allows Kylie to make the song her own. Yeah, this isn’t bad, check it out.

 

25. “7” by Prince and the New Power Generation

A third single from the album “Love Symbol’, it features a sample of Lowell Fulsom’s 1967 song “tramp” and weirdly enough this might be the best single from the album thus far, I like the middle eastern sound of this song, there’s an added mysterious element to the song and Prince sounds fantastic, it’s got a driving energy about it as Prince sings about religion and spirituality…I rend to think a song like this can tend to be open to interpretation for the listener but still this is worth checking out!

 

13. “Who’s Gonna Ride Your Wild Horses” by U2

This is the fifth and last single from U2’s 1991 “Achtung Baby” and wow…this is the most indifferent I’ve been on a U2 song in a while! Sure the guitars are loud but I’m not feeling Bono’s vocal delivery here which especially on the bridge and chorus where Bono sounds like he’d rather be doing anything else than singing the hook of a song you can he and the band don’t like. It’s not precisely bad, it’s just not up there with U2’s best this album cycle.

 

11. “Deeper and Deeper” by Madonna

So it wasn’t that long ago that Madonna released “Erotica” as a single and now we’re getting this as a single a couple of weeks later? Hmm, anyway let’s deal with the song at hand and you know what? I think this might be the best single Madonna has released this album cycle! More because it’s closer to the sound she had on songs like “Vogue” and to a lesser degree “Express Yourself” and even if I think they could have turned Madonna up in the mix, the song has a good dancefloor groove here. Yeah, I can be kicking up my heels in a nightclub to this…

 

However best of the week is going to “7” by Prince and the New Power Generation just for bringing something different to the charts. As for the worst…yeah, Michael Bolton is getting it for that unnecessary cover of “To Love Somebody”

ARIA Singles Top Top 50 Top Ten: 13th December. I Am Woman and Hate U so Merry Christmas

 So the influx of Christmas music continued this week but I will say it was unxpectedly interesting especially in the top ten as the bunfight for the final places on the year end continues so let's get to that top ten where "Cold Heart (PNAU Remix)" by Elton John and Dua Lipa returned to number one thanks to consistency on both sales and streaming. 

It pushed past "Easy on Me" by Adele which slipped back to number two as the hype from the album fades. 

Holding steady are both "Stay" by The Kid Laroi featuring Justin Bieber and 'abcdefu" by Gayle at number four.

Stubbornly refusing to go away is "Heat Waves' by Glass Animals which climbed three places back to number five for some reason.

"Bad Habits" holds firm at number six for Ed Sheeran while "Shivers" tumbled back two places to number seven for Ed Sheeran,

Then we come to the first of the Christmas music breaking into the top ten thanks to "All I Want for Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey rising ten places to number eight and effectively leading the charge of the Christmas music this week. 

"All Too Well (Taylor's Version" by Taylor Swift slipped two places to number nine while "Industry Baby" by Lil Nas X feat, Jack Harlow stumbled one place to number ten.

Gains

Let's blow through the Christmas music gains this week, already mentioned the ten place gain to eight for "All I Want for Christmas is You" by Mariah Carey. "It's Beginning to Look a Lot like Christmas" by Michael Buble jumped seven places to 14 while "Last Christmas" by Wham climbed a massive 23 places to 18. 

:As for the non Christmas gains, well, "Without You" by The Kid Laroi feat. Miley Cyrus rebounded 11 places to 33, "Levitating" by Dua Lipa jumped eight to return to the top twenty at 16 and "Kiss Me More" by Doja Cat and SZA jumped seven to 15. 

Re entries

Kind of eye rolling at some of these re entries but I think I can pin the blame on streaming services releasing year end stats and people streaming songs that wound up on their personal playlists for these like "Astronaut in the Ocean" by Masked Wolf at 50 and "The Business" by Tiesto at 48. Olivia Rodrigo's "Drivers License" at 37

Christmas re entries

"Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" by Brenda Lee is back at 49 and "Santa Tell Me" by Ariana Grande (this song being a Christmas staple cracks me up so hard) at 31. 

Losers

We got a surprising lot of them this week especially in the double digits so w'll focus on those losses this week with "Oh My God" by Adele tumbling eleven places to 21. 

"Better Days" by NEIKED feat. Mae Muller and Polo G slipping ten to 29 (Goodness the hype for this song died quickly)/ 

Unfortunately "Smokin' Out the Window" got stubbed out eighteen places to 32 while "love nwantiti" by Ckay slumped twelve places to 38. "My Universe" by Coldplay feat. BTS slid twelve to 39 and "Overpass Graffiti" by Ed Sheeran got cleaned up seventeen places to 40. 

"Moth to a Flame" by Swedish House Mafia and The Weeknd is on the verge of having it's flame extinguished as it slipped another twelve places to 41. 

"Acapulco" by Jason Derulo slithered down eleven to 44 and "Dreams" by Jolyon Petch tumbled thirteen to 47.

Drop Outs

Not really complaining when "Fancy Like" by Walker Hayes, "A Ok" by Tai Verdes and "Out Out" by Joel Corry, Jax Jones and Charli XCX feat Saweetie took their exits taking with them "Mr Brightside" by The Killers and "2055" by Sleepy Hallow.

The only one I'm vaguely disappointed about is "Flowers (Say My Name)" by ArrDee, I did like that one.

The rest of the drop outs are Adele album cuts like "I Drink Wine", "Can I Get It" and "My Little Love".

New Entries

Four new entries this week beginning with 

43. "I Am Woman" by Emmy Meli

Another newcomer to the ARIA singles chart, this time from Californinan Emmy Meli with this song getting attention via TikTok before becoming a thing on streaming...you know the story and well...I am not sure how to feel about this because lyrically the song is a bunch of statements about how she is all these things and there's no denying the passion in the vocals but I am not sure the music backs her up at all here, it doesn't sound as strong or as anthemic as the song is trying to be lyrically, Helen Reddy's "I Am Woman" this isn't. I don't hate this but I am not going to remember it either.

27. "Merry Christmas" by Ed Sheeran and Elton John

So really I tend to avoid talking a lot about Christmas songs mostly because they have a prety standard formula but we did get this new song from Ed Sheeran and Elton John and well, it's kind of cute? Sure the song does remind me of "Do They Know It's Christmas" musically but lyrically the song Sheeran and John encouraging people to forget their troubles of the past year for awhile to join in some festive fun but not forgetting those who died this past year too. Yeah, the song is corny but Ed and Elton play into it well. I kind of dig it, check it out if you are curious

26. "Where Are You Now" by Lost Frequencies and Calum Scott

Oh it's about time this song charted word of warning, I am not a fan of Calum Scott, his cover of "Dancing On My Own' by Robyn is one of the worst covers of the 2010s so I was a little worried when this song first appeared on the Australian Spotify top 50 and yeah I'm not feeling this song and I'm not sure why...it sounds appealing enough for a summer song and I do think radio will love but again Calum Scott's vocals do nothing for me here, he sounds lie he has a mouthful of marbles for a lot of the song which is just plain weird when the song is trying to be nostalgic so yeah I am not a fan of this at all. 

19. "I Hate U" by SZA.

It always surprises me when SZA debuts this high on the chart however it's nice to finally get an official new single from her with this song being one that fans demanded she release and well...she delivered even if this song isn't quite as good as "Good Days" but it's still a solid R'n'B track with SZA feeling sexually frustrated and wanting this guy to fuck her already and she definitely sells the frustration in her vocals even if I am not sold on the blocky production. This is pretty good.

However it's not getting best of the week because that's going to "Merry Christmas" by Ed Sheeran and Elton John,...I can't help it...it's cute. Worst of the week is going to "Where Are You Now' by Lost Frequencies feat. Calum Scott, it's not overly terrible but it's the song here that I liked least.

Chart will update on Friday at 5pm AEDST