We have finally reached the end of this wretched, disgusting and frankly tiresome year however also means looking back on the year in popular music to find the absolute best and absolute worst 2020 had to offer on the ARIA singles chart and honestly…this year on the ARIA singles chart somehow defied the terribleness of the year, there’s not nearly as many bad or outright garbage songs as there were in 2018 or even last year however it does mean that the truly awful hits this year stuck out a lot more especially from one particular artist who spent 2020 infuriating me but we’ll get to that.
Also it’s worth pointing out that a lot of the worst elements of pop music in 2020 came from things beyond the control of popular music like stan culture and all of the ugly offshoots that come from that on social media eg: doxxing of chart accounts (Let’s not forget that 2020 was the year that ChartData got doxxed by a certain fanbase over the number one position on the US Billboard Hot 100) and the bullying that I see so often in the comments under ChartData’s tweets and the songs trying to cash in on people’s emotions due to the pandemic and the subsequent lockdowns that occurred worldwide.
There was also the coronavirus pandemic and the music that was aiming to hit on people’s emotions. Unfortunately a lot of the good songs about the pandemic were kept off the charts and well…you’ll see…
However, we are going to talking about the music that got popular in Australia so before we get stuck into the list, it is time to go through the rules.
1. A song can only make this unfortunate list if it reached the ARIA year end singles chart so while "Hard to Forget" by Sam Hunt is absolutely disgusting, it didn't make the ARIA year end list (honestly, thank goodness for that because I really would have started questioning the intelligence of the Australian public
2. A song that made the 2019 year end list is also eligible but only if it peaked higher on the 2020 year end list
3. No abuse, this list is my opinion and reflects the feelings I have had about the charting music this year, if you disagree with me than provide valid argument why a song doesn’t deserve to be on my worst hit songs list minus using stan lingo…stan lingo will earn you a patented laugh and a ‘the song still sucks’ reply.
Now that I have made that clear, let us get on with the list.
So in the past two years, Billie Eilish has become one of the biggest names in pop music but in 2020, she was pretty quiet apart from releasing a few scattered singles however Eilish being pretty quiet so set the stage for this travesty to happen…
10. “You Broke Me First” by Tate McRae
I am convinced record labels watched as Billie Eilish set the world alight in 2019 with a sound that was very different from what others within pop music were doing at the time and pontificated on how they can get in on what Billie Eilish is doing and given Billie has had a reasonably quiet year, they turned to Tate McRae for this turgid slog of a song that tries to sell her scorn at this ex wanting her back after an ugly break up and honestly, McRae’s anger here is unconvincing and the production sounds washed out and lacks the kind menace and anger you’d think you would need for a song about a break up where the title is accusing the other person of breaking her first.
The song is also bland, derivative junk that Billie Eilish did better on “When the Party’s Over” in 2018/19…next!
As I said in the introduction, the world is in the midst of a pandemic which meant of course lockdowns and people staying home so of course the popular music tried to reflect on what people were going through which meant everyone from Twenty One Pilots to Luke Combs had to release their quarantine songs and for the most part. Some of them were good eg “Six Feet Apart” by Luke Combs and “Level of Concern” by Twenty One Pilots neither of which somehow became hits but we did get one quarantine song that became a hit courtesy of both these artists being managed by Scooter Braun…pity it sucks.
9. “Stuck with You” by Ariana Grande and Justin Bieber
This song represents the absolute worst of the songs that pandered toward people’s feelings toward the pandemic and what is unsettling about this song is that it’s Ariana Grande and Justin Bieber, two superstars in the world of popular music who are capable of so much better. Can we start with the fact that Ariana’s crooning fails to harmonise with Justin Bieber who sounds completely bored and like he would rather be doing anything else than singing about being in lockdown? Ariana just overwhelms Bieber vocally and the lack of harmonising does bother me.
Oh and the production sounds slapdash as well, four or five different sounds just slapped together in a slog sandwich…granted I do like the more rock production on the final bridge and what’s more Ariana sounds unsupported over it, she sounds better on the production given to Lady Gaga’s “Rain On Me”. All in all the production just sounds really flat and dare I say it…cheap which is not exactly a good thing given the two people on the god damn song!
As for the lyric “I could stay here forever”, NOBODY wants to be stuck in god damn quarantine forever, Ariana and Bieber and the more I look at the lyrics of this song, it’s less about being in quarantine and more about Bieber and Ariana being confused over their feelings and just wanting to hook up
At the end of the day, it’s a token charity song that’s not really worth much of anything and will more than likely be forgotten…except I am not done with Bieber yet…ugh…
In 2017/18, Camila Cabello had a massive hit with “Havana’ from her debut album, now “Havana” was an honourable mention on my best hit songs list for 2017…that song is still good to almost great and there are days where I wish I could find room to put it in the top ten for that year however in late 2019 she released a song that was nowhere near close to being in the same football stadium as “Havana”…
8. “My Oh My” by Camila Cabello feat. DaBaby
It is telling how much “My Oh My” cribs from “Havana” from the production to even Camila Cabello’s vocal delivery and swapping out Young Thug for DaBaby with the shocking part being just how wonky and awful “My Oh My” sounds, its tinny and doesn’t flatter Camila’s vocals at all, she sounds absolutely horrendous here.
The lyrics play to this hook up where this man only comes out at midnight and he is after one thing yet so is Camila…the writing on this song is more basic than the writing on fucking “Yummy”…Camila then swears she’s been a ‘good girl’ yet she doesn’t flesh out the details of what this other person wants her to do.
DaBaby’s verse contains some terrible lines like “She say I make her wet whenever my face pop up on TV” and “Pop star, I'm fresh up out the trap and I'm goin' Bieber”…given the year Justin Bieber has just had in terms of the music…it’s probably not the smartest flex ever, Dababy!
This song is worthless and the fact this as so desperately shoved onto that last Camila Cabello album says A LOT.
This year, there was the good, bad and whatever the fact Justin Bieber shovelled out this year…here’s the first bit of evidence of that…
7. “Holy” by Justin Bieber frat. Chance the Rapper
So this is either another song for Justin Bieber’s wife or for Jesus…one or the other…it’s honestly hard to tell as the whole song is this turgid cornball nonsense perhaps exemplified by the chorus with the line “On God, running to the altar like a track star” which is right up there with the absolute worst lyrics Pat Monahan of Train has ever written! I know Evangelical Christians like to have their flock marry young and pump out the children but come on Justin, you aren’t Usain Bolt or any other fucking track star.
Then there’s Chance the Rapper whose verse pretty much locks this song into the worst list especially with lines like “I'm a believer, my heart is fleshy. Life is short with a temper like Joe Pesci” and “When they get messy, go lefty, like Lionel Messi”
In short this song is terrible especially in the song writing but the production has no power or bombast to it that you would think you’d need for a song that’s supposed to be religious, Bieber’s trying to add power to a song that is making me feel nothing but wanting to laugh at the stupid lyrics and no it doesn’t help that the song seems to have similar sentiments to a Florida Georgia Line song from a few years ago.
We will get to more of Bieber and stupid lyrics later….
Well here is an easy target…
6. “Sunday Best” by Surfaces
This is a song where the lyrics/vocal delivery and the production do not match, you would think that for a song where he is going on about ‘he is feeling good like he should’ that he would sound happy and energetic (although I’d take issue with that awfully chipper lyric given the year that 2020 has been) yet at best he sounds fucking constipated like he ate too much fibre and is now sitting on the toilet trying to pass this turd of a song out of his bowels.
What is with all the god damn empty platitudes about leaving a day better than you found it? I mean come on…1. There is only so much that people can do while they are in quarantine/lockdown 2. Saying whatever is not going to fix an issue, it’s how you deal with the issue.
The production on this song is a wash, for a song that is trying to be this perky number, the music sounds like it was written for a death march rather than actually sounding bright and happy so yeah if I wanted to be cheered up this year…this was the sound I kept out of my ears. Ugh!
This next song would not be here, let alone this high on the worst list if it weren’t for just one element of the song that just does not work at all and annoys me…
5, “Death Bed” by Powfu feat. Beabadoobee
This one is going to be reasonably short, “Death Bed” was a song that I liked originally, the content of the song is about a young man who is slowly dying and is talking to his partner about doing things with this partner and potentially meeting up with the person in whatever comes next after they die, it’s a lo fi hip hop song that at first was one that I was ambivalent on and willing to give a pass to when it first hit the ARIA singles chart.
However it took hearing this song one too many times on the radio to realize that there was one misconceived element of the song that was getting really distracting and really annoying…that element being Beabadoobee’s crooning behind Powfu’s verses which really took me out of the song and didn’t match at all with Powfu’s rather bleak verses.
Ordinarily a song where there is just one element that does not work would not normally throw a song this high on a worst list but the crooning that ruins what could have potentially been a great song is disappointing.
There is an open question about whether external factors behind this next song are fuelling my hatred of it but yeah there is enough to the song that fuels the hatred So therefore…
4. “Say So” by Doja Cat
I didn’t want to put this song here…really…but I’ve never ever come to the conclusion that Doja Cat sounds good over that washed out and rather cheap sounding 80s style production that Daft Punk could do better with, she sounds harsh especially over that final verse, it’s not pleasant to listen to and given I think Doja Cat has a fair bit of talent, the production here is a shame.
As for the lyrics…they are your standard friend who is in love with Doja Cat and Doja wants this friend to tell her how he really feels rather than wasting time by beating around the bush which is fine but maybe this friend isn’t ready to admit he is in love with her, feels like she is trying to force it out of him rather than letting it be a natural moment when the other person is ready as well.
Then there are the external factors that push this song so high up on this list, the man who ruined Kesha’s career produced this song and the fact he can get a song with this limp beat that apparently pleased everyone this year makes me angry especially in light of the Me Too movement which somehow hasn’t taken a broad swipe at the music industry yet apart from ending the career of R. Kelly. Dr L*** career revival also saw him produce a song on that last posthumous Juice WRLD album which also become a hit.
Fuck Dr L***.
Right foot up, left foot slide into the fucking bin, Drake.
3, “Toosie Slide” by Drake
There was absolutely no reason for Drake to make this song. None. He had his trap dance hits with both “Nice For What” and “In My Feelings” in 2018, there was no need for him to try to capitalise on people being at home bored during the pandemic but we got this fart of a song instead. Let us begin with the fact that this song is really only worth the 30 second Tik Tok meme where Drake sings “Left foot up, right foot slide. Right foot up, left foot slide. Basically, I am saying either way we ‘bout to slide, ayy”. That’s it… there is nothing else to it.” Nutbush City Limits” and “YMCA”, this is not.
At least both “Nutbush City Limits” and “YMCA” have a groove and energy to them that make doing the dances associated with those two songs fun, “Toosie Slide” has this monotonous trap beat that sounds so lethargic and tired which I find absolutely bizarre as in 2020, popular music is moving away from the tired and stale trap sound and really just showed that Drake wanted to show that there was still room in the marketplace for lame songs that could have been Vine videos in 2015/16.
NEXT…
In my past top ten worst hit songs of a given year you might have noticed that I have a distaste for shitty cover songs….well 2020 did have one song that somehow become a hit much to my horror…
2. “Put Your Records On” by Ritt Momney
I am not a fan of the original “Put Your Records On” by Corinne Bailey Rae…just too cloying and sweet for me but at no stage did anyone ask for a guy with the worst stage name since Lil Dicky to cover “Put Your Records On” and sap the warmth and sunshine out of the song with the trap percussion, it’s clunky, ugly and Ritt Momney having a voice that sits somewhere between having a head cold and a broken cassette tape that’s somehow still playing but break the damn tape deck.
Also the fact that Momney turned this song that was originally smooth and breezy empowerment song into a choppy hook up song from a male perspective that comes across as completely awkward and comes nowhere near close to being smooth enough to fit the mood he is going for.
This song is a clattering wall of noise that is not only uncomfortable to listen to but gets rather god damn unpleasant however it’s not the worst hit song of the year but before we find out what is…let’s go through some obligatory dishonourable mentions, shall we?
DHM1: “Yummy” by Justin Bieber
Yeeahhh, “Yummy” is still a bad song, it’s dated, lazy and shows that Justin Bieber hasn’t evolved or changed as an artist by dipping into dated trends from 2016/17 to sing about how yummy his wife’s vagina is. Somehow after hearing this song a few times, I do not blame DJ Khaled for refusing to eat pussy because there’s nothing here that makes the idea even vaguely attractive and Bieber’s squawking delivery just sets my teeth on edge and the fact that this crap got nominated for a Grammy says a lot about the joke the Grammys are.
Also, Justin…not signing a prenup is a silly idea…just saying…
DHM 2: “Falling” by Trevor Daniel
Yeah of the newcomers to hit the charts, Trevor Daniel is the least impressive of the lot and this song is just a trap clunker that Trevor Daniel just sounds off key on. Enough said. Next!
DHM 3: “Party Girl” by StaySolidRocky
Well this guy can be placed in the hall of one hit wonders because after this trap garbage, his career has gone nowhere…for good reason. “Party Girl” is your typically independent girl at the party who likes drugs and guns and apparently does not need anyone. Looks like everyone else decided that they did not need StaySolidRocky beyond this song as he has released other songs, but they’ve not hit the charts. Good riddance.
DHM 4: “Life is Good” by Future and Drake
Well this is a mess that only got worse as the year went on. Future has never been good in his lane of mumble rap under a thick smear of autotune. This song diverts into Drake’s usual playground of concern trolling women and complaining he can’t do his taxes because he is too turnt up. Geez. Let’s hope for better from both but especially Drake given his glorified simp album is coming in January..
DHM 5: “What’s a Man Gotta Do?” by the Jonas Brothers
Yeah this one has one of the most annoying hooks I’ve heard on a pop song in ages and the writing is so fucking corny, it makes my skin crawl, its like they glanced through other songs grabbed at lyrics and mashed them into this one pulsing headache of a song. Sorry guys, I won’t be grabbing you by the collar any time soon
Back to the list and the number one, I think I’ve signalled my pick for top spot enough in 2020, a song that makes me quiver with rage at how ugly the lyrics are and how lazy the production is…”Yummy” wasn’t the worst song that Justin Bieber released in 2020, guys…fight the real enemy…
1. “Intentions” by Justin Bieber feat. Quavo
This song underlines and underpins the ugly and regressive themes and attitudes about women on Justin Bieber’s abortion of an album “Changes” that he released in February and the fact that this became a hit is infuriating but not surprising that Bieber would turn to writing a song aimed at making Evangelical Christian style gender roles/stereotypes seem attractive to young women (alarming when you consider how much of his fanbase is young women).
Let’s start with the lyrics that border on being close to Train at their absolute worst to absolutely asinine, for a start “Heart full of equity, you’re an asset” is nowhere near close to being as sexy as Bieber thinks it is and only served to remind me that I needed to file my taxes and yet Bieber put it on the hook of a love song for his WIFE.
There is also ‘Stay in the kitchen cookin' up, got your own bread” Bieber intends his wife to be a 1950s housewife the typically demure way of staying home and cooking her own bread. Now it’s fine if she WANTS to stay home but what if that isn’t what she wants for her life and that’s before we get to the first verse where Bieber shouts out her parents for having sex and conceiving her which is just all sorts of ick…imagine going up to your partner’s parents and saying “Oh congratulations on making your son/daughter, he or she is a beauty”? Ewww.
What is more Bieber wants to give his girl’s parents a standing ovation for the way they raised her. Who the hell are you to judge on parenting, Bieber?
The line that says everything I need to know about how overwhelmingly shitty the lyrics are is this line in the second verse where he sings that she doesn’t need no sponsor because she’s the brand now like his wife is just some inanimate object with logos all over, she isn’t a fucking trophy!
Quavo comes in with this nothing of a verse where even he sounds like he would rather be eating tacos or doing anything other than appearing on this gutless turd of a song where the production is this spluttering mess with hi hats and percussion that doesn’t much the frankly icky vibe of the song and says a lot about the mess that was Justin Bieber’s “music” in 2020 so for all that “Intentions” by Justin Bieber feat. Quavo is the worst hit song of 2020.
