Top Ten Best Hit Songs of 2022

 So this best list is one of the harder ones I have had to write more because unlike 1989 where there was too much material, it felt like there was a lack of good to excellent songs due to either the ridiculous amount of older songs clogging the year end and if they were from this year, I just didn't  care for them or they outright pissed me off, don't get me wrong, there were great songs this year...just not as many of them... I will also say my number one best hit of the year is possibly one of the best hits of the whole decade thus far.

So reminder of the rules, a song can make this list if it debuts on or appears higher on the 2022 ARIA year end chart than it did during its original chart run

Older songs, if eligible, can make honourable mentions but not the top ten proper.

All clear? Alright, let's get this show on the road with some honourable mentions. 

HM1: "Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God)" by Kate Bush

I can already hear the shocked indignation already but here's the thing, I've never really connected that well with Kate Bush's music (I cannot stand "Babooshka") however I can respect the hell out of this song from 1985 that given modern pop music's current fawning over the 80s, it sounds modern. We owe Stranger Things a thank you for giving this song it's justly deserved top ten chart run in Australia and the USA.

HM2: "Another Love" by Tom Odell

Look, if this song had of made the year end in 2013, this would have placed number two or three on the best list. I love the barely restrained sadness and fear of losing this girl because he worries he might stuff his chance with this girl up in taking the first step but eventually realizes that he needs to take chances in order to find happiness. Great song.

HM3: "Cuff It" by Beyonce

So I am going to be honest and say that I wasn't head over heels for Beyonce diving into house/EDM unlike all the critics who panicked to praise Renaissance after it was released and "Break My Soul" is going to be one of those songs that doesn't age well at all  however "Cuff It" is actually one of the better songs from the alum, Beyonce sounds fantastic over a nu disco groove and even if the lyrics are a little repetitive, it's a good song, I'll take it.

HM4: "As It Was" by Harry Styles

Yeah...this was going to make the top ten but hearing it a little too often and Harry's rather oddly lethargic performance of his at the Grammys made it sour on me, that said this is still a solidly good song, it's got this gentle chill vibe to it that works in its favour. Yeah it probably deserves to be the biggest song of the year, I just hope "Harry's House' as a whole is not a sign of things to come

HM5: "All Too Well (Taylor's Version)" by Taylor Swift 

 Chillax Swifties, there's more Taylor a bit later on the list proper. The only reason this didn't make the list proper is because there were ten songs I liked more but really, while this to a degree cheating because it comes from the rerecording of Red and Taylor making a ten minute version to break records , this is a really well fleshed out story and Taylor is always at her best when there's a moral ambiguity to her writing, it makes the ten minute run time well  worth it.

Now onto the list proper...

Number Ten

Look, I have said in the past that my number ten slot generally goes to a guilty pleasure....looks like I got my head out the sunroof.. 

"Sunroof" by Nicky You're and Dazy

I know, I know. The song is aggressively chipper and beyond basic also you do have to be in the mood for it and I was waiting to sour on it but it never happened even with the ridiculous amounts of radio airplay it got, this song was a bright spark of pure unadulterated fun where Nicky You're has his head out the sunroof of his car, blasting music and he has one thing on his mind...a girl.

Yeah, his words of love for this girl come across as clumsy and really clunky, the girl likely wouldn't be, impressed but for me, that adds to the charm of the song, it's cute, sweet and just way too much fun. Happy it became a hit.

Number Nine

It was that sort of year...I guess Bieber deserves to be here

"Ghost" by Justin Bieber

Yeah this is a 2021 leftover that debuted on the year end for 2022 and yeah, this is a pretty sweet little pop song even if the percussion is a tad too heavy and lyrically it does feel like Bieber is reaching... (he misses her more than life is a big over reach) but I get the sentiment of this Jon Bellion co-write, it's about missing a loved one be it through walk out or death and Bieber will still cling to the ghost of that person and the memories...something I do get having spent years clinging to memories of my grandmother out of fear I will somehow forget her so yeah this song holds more goddamn weight than I thought.

Number Eight

Remember what I said that when country music does chart in Australia, it's rarely ever good? Well that changed in 2022...

"The Kind of Love We Make" by Luke Combs

Seems Nashville finally came to grips with utilising streaming to its benefit this decade which has actually helped make this song Luke Combs longest running hit in Australia and while "The Kind of Love We Make" is not Luke Combs best song he released in 2022 but there's a charm to this song that makes me love this song. Yeah, it's Luke Combs singing about sexy time with his wife but it's not like the song goes into explicit detail about the bedroom antics and Combs vocal delivery is full of passion which you'd hope for.

Also this is just sticky and melodic enough to get stuck in my head, it's just got enough in the production to keep the song passionate yet playful. Compared to a lot of sex songs, this is really tasteful. Good job, Luke.

Number Seven

Okay, this song might be one of the best things that both these two acts have done to date...

"My Universe" by Coldplay feat. BTS

Yeah, it made the year end...it's actually one of two songs I am thrilled made Aria's year end list for 2022 mostly because it's the best thing Coldplay have made since the album Viva La Vida, for BTS probably "Boy Wit Luv" feat. Halsey. What I like about thid song is how big this sounds which makes sense for a love song where Coldplay and BTS claim this girl is their universe and they just want to put her first which is sweet and works vocally for both Chris Martin and BTS.

Does it seem like pandering to the fanbase? Maybe but this song was one of those that made me smile every time I heard this. Definitely an under rated gem from 2021/22.

Number Six

Speaking of under rated gems...this one was ignored by the US which is a shame because...yeah... Elley Duhe deserves better.

"Middle of the Night" by Elley Duhe

This is the second song I am thrilled made the year end mostly because its great to highlight songs that become hits despite slippimg under the radar to a large degree and oh god, "Middle of the Night" just sounds like the title ofnthe song with the plucky guitars that have something of a Middle Eastern vibe and that dark, creepy atmosphere that gives the song its middle of the night feel. It also sounds like nothing else in 2022.

Elley Duhe can also command this kind of atmosphere too, she's calling for her lover to come to her in the middle of the night and love her in the lyrics and yeah, she sells it well even if it she reminds me a lot of Ellie Goulding however that chorus goes off and when its this good...I'll take it.

Number Five

This next song took its time to grow on me, it was good the first time I heard it and time only helped to convince me that this was great.

"B.O.T.A (Baddest Of Them All)" by Eliza Rose and Interplanetary Criminals

I am so glad this clicked for me in 2022 because daaaammmmnnnn, "B.O.T.A" is fresh, smooth and would likely go off in the club. Eliza Rose manages to split the line between badass and cool. Its also one of the more interesting dance/club hits in years, it's just kind of summer fun that knows its value.

Great song!

Number Four

So Lil Nas X had a quiet 2022 with one notable exception...

"That's What I Want" by Lil Nas X

No joke, this was my number one song of 2022 for quite awhile. Somehow the best pop/rock that hit hardest was this slice of wonderful from Lil Nas X where he just wants a man he can cuddle withand someone to love him for who he is...something that we all want out of life, someone who wants us for who we are and somewhere to belong...its a basic need for us all. 

Hell, Lil Nas X is so keen for that man to love, he even says they can argue and fight but its that hook thats the crowning glory of this song and that shout of "That's what I fucking want" that underlines how much he wants that love and sense of belonging tlhats probably only gotten bigger since he became famous in the wake of "Old Town Road" but yeah, its still a damn great song.

Number Three

My top three best hit songs of the year all feel complicated, songs where the writing shines laying forth some hard emotions that are confronting especially whrn faced with the end of a relationship hence...

"Glimpse of Us" by Joji

Of any song that was a hit this year, this song being number one hit felt...weird in more than one way given Joji's well publicised background and history and given the messy at best album it comes from, this dark piano heavy song might be a single entity in Joji's career where Joji is stuck in the past remembering everything that this ex girlfriend did for him but now they have split up and she's found love again with somebody new yet every time Joji sees his ex with her new man, he sees a glimpse of when he was with her and cannot move past it wondering how he could have fixed things so she would have stayed with him instead.

Its a dark, toxic and frankly emotiinally complicated song that stole my heart for much of this year mostly because there was not much like it on the charts in 2022.

Number Two

There are songs that aren't meant to be hits like bar fests in hip hop, a rock song or even alt country songs like this...

"Something In the Orange" by Zach Bryan 

I remember the shock I felt seeing this debut on the ARIA singles chart, it didn't sound like anything else on the charts, I was sure this was going only be on the charts for a week but nope, its now spent 24 weeks on the chart and no wonder, its a song that surrounds you with its intense, broody atmosphere as Zach Bryan sees the end of his relationship in his partner's eyes like she has already mentally ridden off into the sunset having ended the relationship leaving Zach angry, sad and wondering what he can do save the relationship which he knows there may well be nothing he can do given how convinced she is that its over.

The music with that guitar that sounds like its been through the desert and Zach Bryan's vocals that to a degree remind me of the 90s alternative rock scene.

Its a gut wrenching song that burns brighter with every listen and made a break out star of Zach Bryan and very well deserved however its not number one so what could the number one best hit song be?

Number One

You know, she nor this song doesn't need any introduction but...god dammit, 2022 was the year Taylor Swift broke me...

"Anti-Hero" by Taylor Swift 

This might be one of the best pop songs Taylor Swift has ever written and recorded, I instantly fell in love with this song the first time I heard it...this resonated hard for me in ways that shattered me emotionally, I won't go into detail about the awful 2022 I had (safe to say I nearly closed both my Twitter accounts). Its a song where late at night, Taylor thinks about her own behaviour and sees how those around her might percieve and remember her as while she's alive and long after she's died and the lyrics are just brutal where she acknowledges that some percieve an act of altruism by her as covert narcissism, on the hook, she sings "I'll stare directly at the sun butl never in the mirror" or how she's terrified fans will walk out and not return.

There's just so much I love about this song including Jack Antonoff's production which is just gorgeous here, it sounds like a pop song at midnight, especially in the breakdown where Taylor repeats the opening lines of the hook sounding progressively world weary and ragged like she's about to break down.

"Anti Hero" by Taylor Swift is the best hit song of 2022.

ARIA New Entries Review: January 2023

 Well, happy new year about a month or so late so just a quick update...I am going to continue doing the monthly ARIA new entry review series so yeah the weekly charts current and retro are on the back burner for a bit however year end list content is planned with the top ten best hit songs of 2022 hopefully by end of February plus my usual year end retro best and worst lists this time for 2004. I am also in early stages of seeing if a best list for 1999 is feasible.

However enough of that, time to talk about the songs that entered the ARIA singles chart in January beginning with...

"10:35" by Tiesto & Tate McRae

So this song has been on my replay list for awhile now and yeah,this is probably one of both artists better songs in years. Tate McRae sounds better on this than she has on anything...possibly ever and that hook is sticky as hell...check it out.

"Rumble" by Skrillex, Fred again... & Flowdan

Oh gosh, this is one of those songs where I get the appeal but it does not quite click for me. I actually like the production  from Skrillex and both Fred again and Flowdan sound good over this but yeah something in this ain't quite clicking but objectively this is pretty good.

"Flowers" by Miley Cyrus 

So I was looking forward to this, a new single from Miley Cyrus who'd shown pretty good promise as a rock artist in 2020 only to be pretty much ignored by the public bar "Midnight Sky" being a hit in Australia, only for my excitement to turn to disappointment because "Flowers" is mediocre self empowerment  post break up schlock via early 80s bad disco updated for 2023., it just feels calculating and like this is something Miley's record label wanted her to release because the nu disco sound in pop is in the in sound at the moment...sad thing is this netted a number one

Sigh...you can have your Flowers and hold your hand, Miley but you can do better.

"VIBE" by Taeyang and Jimin

So more k-pop via Taeyang who brought Jimin of BTS for the ride and yeah, this was a load of fun! The song kind of reminds me of the early 2000s boy band sound even if like bands in the early 2000s, the song is a little over produced but it's lightweight pop that's really more about coasting on the vibe...I had fun with this. Worth checking out.

"Sure Thing" by Miguel

Really? We could not have made "Coffee" a hit? Okay seems TikTok virality helped this song from the early 2010s chart and yeah, this is solid even if I don't like voice that comes over the top on the intro as it feels rather unnecessary but these of the song is really a pretty love song, I am fine with this being on the chart...unlike...

"Nonsense " by Sabrina Carpenter 

Le's be real, this song is only here because of chicanery by Sabrina Carpenter's label and Spotify whereby Spotify changed its auto play algorithm and thus gave this song an inflated boost by it appearing disproportionately in auto playlists... I mean really? Of any song they could have inflated the streams of, they could have done better than this gummy mush of song that resort's to spouting gibberish on the chorus. I don't see this sticking around, thankfully.

"Here With Me" by D4VD

Round two with D4VD and while this isn't as horrible as "Romantic Homicide", it still feels pretty forced and D4vD sounds pretty lethargic and the song as a whole feels like vague attempt to copy Steve Lacy's formula. It's not the worst of what is here though

"The Color Violet" by Tory Lanez

Really? I am supposed to care that the public suddenly sympathises with the now imprisoned Tory Lanez enough to give him a charting song on the ARIA  singles chart? Fuck that...I have better things to do than listen to this whiny prison bird complain he'll never dance again over a limp beat...bitch, please...

Worst of the month: "Nonsense" by Sabrina Carpenter

Dishonourable Mention: "The Color Violet" by Tory Lanez (Only just edges out Miley...

Honourable Mention: "Sure Thing" by Miguel

Best of the Month: "VIBE" by Taeyang feat. Jimin

Top Ten Worst Hit Songs of 2022

*Sigh*. I guess we have to deal with the worst popular music of 2022 but honestly when the year was a slow one for the ARIA singles chart, there shouldn't be that much to be mad at, right? Weelll no, the charts were slow because the world was out of lockdown and suddenly, people had more to do than just listen to new pop music hence unlike 2020, in 2022, the popular music really didn't matter that much. 

However what epitomises the worst music of 2022 is the laziness that was on display. Seriously...there were songs this year that didn't bother to recontextualise the sample or just dove into chasing trends from the last two years! 

A reminder that a song can only make this list if it debuted on the year end list for 2022 or charted higher than it did when it previously charted. 

So now that's clear, let's dive in and get this autopsy on 2022's musical garbage over with, starting with...

Number Ten

2022 was a disappointment for this guy,  his album wasn't good and there were genuine concerns over where his next hit was coming, well, he got that hit but did it have to be this?

"I Like You (A Happier Song)" by Post Malone feat. Doja Cat

So here's the thing, I actually don't mind the actual  music here, it's bouncy and really catchy but what does sink this song is the lyrics... Post Malone says he is pulling this girl like he is pulling a hammy which just sounds painful or on the hook where he says that they went over to France and woke up in Japan...what the....? The worst part is that Post Malone sounds like he doesn't want to be there, he sounds really bored.

Then there's Doja Cat whose verse really just misreads the intention of the song and complains her partner got her on a leash? Ugh...this song was only released by a desperate label looking for a hit...somehow I suspect both artists involved wouldn't have minded the miss.

Number Nine

2000s nostalgia is currently doing the rounds and some of it honestly is really good but on occasions, you get this...

"Do It To It" by Acraze feat. Cherish 

This song has honestly grated on my nerves all 2022 and is up there in terms of being annoying as bat shit (only barely saved by the offence to the eardrums that is " Music for a Sushi Restaurant" by Harry Styles for the most annoying song of the year)...but none the less this takes a 2006 song by r'n'b Cherish and removes any kind of personality or groove to make a pale facsimile of a song complete with production stiffer than grandad's legs. 

Also once you've heard the hook, there's really not much else to this wholly unimpressive and really generic dance song. Time to move on.

Number Eight

Look, he made worse music than this in 2022 which we'll get to if his current song on the charts makes the 2023 year end but this was from the first album he released last year and well..

"Jimmy Cooks" by Drake feat. 21 Savage

Let's rip the bandaid off and say the quiet part loud... Drake is coasting and has done since 2018, this has been evident in the music he has been making in that it's low quality junk that requires so very little effort because he knows that name recognition alone will get some of the effuse he calls music to chart highly, take "Jimmy Cooks" for example which hinted at the junk that was to come from both Drake and 21 Savage over beats that aren't anything interesting or do much that's exciting hence its monotonous.

Oh and Drake seems to lack any kind of self awareness when complaining about others being fake. Hey Drake, you are being fake yourself when you put on the phony accents. We can hope for better from both acts but I wouldn't be counting on it given coast mode is on...

Number Seven

Let's deal with a easy target here...

"abcdefu" by GAYLE

This song wore out my last nerve in 2022...blame the radio airplay for it but my God, the reason this song wound up here it sounds like somebody having a major tantrum... if your hook is "abcdefu your mum and your dad" than I have to start questioning you emotional intelligence to be in a relationship if that's the sour and immature way you are going to act, maybe be better and be adult about things, rise above the shitty boyfriend. 

This song would spark Leah Kate to release "Twinkle Twinkle Little Bitch" which thankfully didn't chart but can we do away with nursery rhymes being used in bad pop songs. I will say Gayle has better songs sh released on her EPs last year but seems like she might be set to be a one hit wonder.

Number Six

Remember the days when One Republic were good? Yeah...be nice if we could delete junk like this...

"I Ain't Worried" by OneRepublic

I really don't know what to say about this except OneRepublic have wasted their potential and have turned into massive disappointment over the last couple of years, take this song from the latest Top Gun movie which is horrendously produced where the guitars sound whiny and have about as much depth as a kids wading pool. Throw in lyrics that are pretty much AJR core where Ryan Tedder admits there are issues but he ain't worried about them right now because he has to keep dreams to keep alive other than the more important matters that he should be worried about which either makes Tedder selfish or stupid...who knows but it does make this song a wretched sidelight as a result

Number Five

Feel like this song was telegraphed to be on this list when I first reviewed it but hey, there's no reason for hacks like this to chart...

"Doja" by Central Cee

I could just state that the opening line of this garbage qualifies this song for this list alone plus I doubt Doja Cat likes being name associated with this, top it off with a good dose of lazy word play and the song being so short that it barely feels like any effort was put in at all other than a "no homo" joke that's about as funny as the boring Jason Derulo falling down the stairs at Met Gala meme that seems to get a run every year. 

It just feels like a filler fragment that tried to court controversy but still somehow became a hit. Blergh.

Number Four

At this point, it's starting to feel like bullying but if Imagine Dragons could make better music than they might not have any enemies.

"Enemy" by Imagine Dragons feat J.I.D

I think it's time I gave up on this notion that Imagine Dragons will go back to the sort of music they came to prominence with and that sucks "Enemeeeee" is a Dan Reynolds howling nightmare where the piercing shriek of enemeeee will never leave your brain. What is worse is the beat just sounds clunky and honestly kind of painful when you combine the shrieking with the music, it just sounds so annoying that not even a decent guest verse from J.I.D saves this.

Its just an annoying pain of a song that hopefully with time will go away.

Number Three

For the longest time this was my number one worst hit song of the year, mostly because it infuriates me that this was allowed to happen to an Australian music classic synonomous with Australia and thus...

"Down Under" by Luude feat. Colin Hay

I am left speechless by this, just how was this catastrophe allowed to happen to Men At Work's 80s classic "Down Under" (a song that is controversial for copyright seasons), nobody asked for a curdled and dank bass cover that manages to make a great song about being an Australian visiting countries overseas into this ugly sounding mess that just sounds unpleasant especially when Colin Hay's vocals sound almost drowned out. The bass also strips out the pretty damn great and infectious melody of the original.

Give me Men At Work's somewhat overplayed original over junk like this.

Number Two

2000s revival was in full swing in 2022, the seeds were planted in 2019 but it was full on in 2020 especially as Eiffel 65's "Blue (Da Ba Dee)" was sampled by several acts including Nea's "Some Say" which I didn't mind because that song recontextualised the sample and made it work however it doesn't work when you put two artists desperate for a hit together and add in laziness, you end up with this...

"I'm Good (Blue)" by David Guetta feat. Bebe Rexha

I guess congratulations are in order for both acts on somehow nabbing a hit despite the lack of effort and everything else that is wrong with the song. The biggest issue is the blatant trend chasing of something that was already done to death the past two years, David Guetta took the path of chasing a tired trend of sampling 2000s classic "Blue (Da Ba Dee)" and not doing near enough to make the sample interesting or give it a brand spin  to make it sound fresh...it just sounds lazy.

Then there's Bebe Rexha who sounds nasal on the hook and just kind of miserable, it's like she's bored and forcing herself to have "the best freaking night of her life" complete with the gritted teeth and sarcastic yawning, it's a party song that just isn't having any fun at all and the energy at the party is akin to where the party has hit the point where everyone is either tired, asleep, high, drunk or having the kind of sex on the floor where STDs are guaranteed so yeah this song is a cheap, low effort hangover...next!

However its not the worst hit song of the year...

Number One

Before I rant about this song, let me say... I stand with Southstar.

"Miss You" by Robin Schulz and Oliver Tree

This atrocity is the stuff of nightmares to me, it just sounds like absolute torture chamber music with Oliver Tree sounding even more annoying than he normally does on his own material thanks to some pretty awful vocal mixing and changes in the production that make the bass headache inducing.

Oh, I mentioned changes to this song, right? That's because this song was originally made by producer Southstar who took Oliver Tree's song "Jerk" and with the permission of Tree's label, Southstar worked the lyrics into a new song called "Miss You" which wasn't all that good in the first place but fuck, it's better than what happened next.

What was next was another producer Robin Schulz grabbing hold of one the song, made some changes to the vocals, bass and tempo then proceeded to keep the song called "Miss You" which proceeds to blow up and become a hit despite there being cause for fucking lawsuits.

Now the reason is number one worst hit song of 2022 is because of how this song could make copyright law an even worse nightmare than it is now and just howg much non effort was put into making this shit...did they just say "A few tweaks and nobody will notice that somebody else made it"

Fuck this song and fuck the laziness on display, it's the worst hit song of 2022.

Stay tuned for the best hit songs of 2022 list which hopefully will be out by end of next month. 

ARIA Singles Chart Top 50. New Entries Special: November/December

 "Lift Me Up" by Rihanna

Welcome back Rihanna...oh wait...no, this is not the lead single from that expected (or not?) ninth album of hers but a song for "Wakanda Forever" and is a tribute to the late Chadwick Boseman and yeah, this got to me, it's this gorgeous piano ballad and Rihanna sounds the best she has in years, she is well supported by the choir and all up this song ends up being quite a deal bit moving and powerful. Nice.

"Made You Look" by Meghan Trainor

Okay...I thought we had consigned Meghan Trainor to the bin of bad artists after 2016, nobody asked for a comeback, except she's been actively releasing music for the past couple of years with Nome of it catching traction until this came along and yes, Trainor is still on her Doo wop thing on a songwhere she's bragging that even with nothing on or wearing expensive brand  names, she's made you and me look. The song is complete arse anyway so let's not give this any more attention.

"Shirt" by SZA

Hey, about time we got new music from SZA and its a song that I'd been hearing about for months so I was curious to hear this...it's definitely not as good as her previous singles but there's still a lot to like here, SZa's exploration of a relationship where things have gotten complicated and she's not at all comfortable in this situation that she wants out of. It's a dark song matched by the curdled trap production that offers no relief from the discomfort. Not bad.

"Golden Hour"  by JVKE

It seems like at least once a month, we get some no name rapper winding up charting thanks to Tik Tok  but anyway JVKE is an American producer, singer-songwriter and social media personality with this winding up on the chart and...I am not impressed, this does a whole lot of nothing for me to say. The content is the very teenage sentiment of finally spending time alone with the person you love which is cute but ehh, this merely just exists for me.

"Rich Flex" by Drake and 21 Savage

So this is the only song that I will  touch from "Her Loss" and wow...the shitty misogyny positively drips off this. I think I'll have more to say on this one if it makes the 2023 year end cause yeah, it fucking blows more biscuits than my sister's stinky butt.

"Die for You" by Joji

So this came from Joji's latest album "Smithereens" which was a massive  disappointment especially in the wake of the pretty great "Glimpse of You" and yeah, this is major drop in quality, it's really pretty mucha fragment, I'd skip this.

"Calm Down" by Rema feat. Selena Gomez 

Nigerian Afrobeat artist Rema makes his first appearance on the ARIA chart and he has teamed up with Selena Gomez for this really chill, sweet song about a romance that may not work out over a gentle guitar groove. I really dig this, hope it sticks around, also I think Selena Gomez has found a groove that works for her.

Worst of the month: Rich Flex

Dishonourable mention: Made You Look

Honourable Mentions: Calm Down, Shirt

Best of the Month: Lift Me Up

December

"Just Wanna Rock" by Lil Uzi Vert

Really? We are so desperate for anything from Lil Uzi Vert that we chart fragments from hi  and in this case, it's not a particularly good fragment, it's mostly filler over production that lacks rock edge or groove...yikes.

"Creepin" by Metro Boomin, The Weeknd and 21 Savage

Okay, with the exception  of 21 Savage's verse, this is pretty much a cover of Mario Wigan's 2004 hit "I Don't Wanna Know" , a song I have never liked but somehow I actually like this, Metro Boomin's production ramps up the unease and danger of the situation they find themselves in, yeah...I'll take this?

"Escapism" by Raye fear 070 Shake

Well finally this charts, it's already blowing up in the UK so I am pretty happy to see this here from UK independent artist RAYE and yeah this absolutely incredible, a songabout how she's doting on her husband when for some reason he decides to up and leave RAYE leaving her feeling like shit. Determined to never feel this terrible again, she seeks out alcohol, sex and drugs to help her escape except the creaking, dramatic production  is implying the very real danger that this "escapism" could have bad implications for Raye down the road. Yeah, this is fucking great. Make it a hit please.

"Kill Bill" by SZA

So the first song from that SZA album and while this is not my favourite song from the album, I do like it, the song takes its name from the film series of the same name with SZA using the film to sing about her own dark, twisted murder fantasies namely to kill her ex and his new girlfriend out of pure jealousy, I just wish the production matched the somewhat grisly fantasy vibe more, just feels not quite there, still pretty good though.

"Until I Found You" by Stephen Sanchez and Em Beihold

So the solo version of this song has been on the US Hot 100 for a month or two now but get Em Beihold on board and yeah, it does work even if Em Beihold only serves backing vocals which is disappointing as there was an opportunity there for Em to singa verse from Georgia's point of view but as it is? It's still pretty good and kind of cute even if it definitely sounds like the song was recorded in the early 60s in the production. Check it out if you are curious

"Let Go" by Central Cee

Oh God, why are we rounding out 2022 with Central fucking Cee sampling Passenger's awful song "Let Her Go"? Why? Especially AS Central Cee spends the song complaining about this girl who he had sex with but she up and left after without any after sex care...no wonder she didn't stay when you laugh and call her a ho on the hook of the song? Or that he also fools around with other girls likeshe does with other guys so that makes him as bad as her and this song just a fucking gross skidmark.

Worst of the month: Let Go

Dishonourable mention: Just Wanna Rock

Honourable mention: Creepin'

Best of the week: Escapism 

Top Ten Best Hit Songs of 1989

Ahh onto what I actually like talking about...the music I loved from 1989 and really, I honestly disagree with the critics assessment that it was a bad year for music, we had Madonna at her best, some pretty great pop and rock was being awesome so much so I had way too much material so because I can't make up my mind at all, there will be no less than fifteen Honourable mentions spread out through this list... yes, that's  how good 1989 was...at least to me.

A quick reminder of the rules that in order for a song to make this, it must have debuted on the ARIA year end chart for 1989 or appear higher on the chart in 1989 than it did in 1988.

Let's not waste anymore time and look at our first five honourable mentions...

HM1: "I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)" by The Proclaimers

I know this will piss people off that this isn't in the top ten proper but it just doesn't click for me as much as it does for everyone else. Still is a good song though, I'll take it.

HM2: "Stuck on You" by Paul Norton

Australia's answer to Bruce Springsteen or John Mellencamp that probably doesn't get the attention that other more easily recognisable Australian songs do but honestly in a year where The Boss was quiet, this kicked a lot of arse. Nice song

HM3: "Wait" by Gyan

Another song that doesn't get a whole lot of attention but this works for that sweeping piano and Gyan's vocals which blew me away. She apparently re recorded "Wait" for her 2015 album This Girl's in Love" replacing the vastness of the original with a smaller cozy version using an acoustic guitar...well worth checking out both versions though.

HM4: "She Makes My Day" by Robert Palmer

It's actually really nice to see a less bombastic Robert Palmer song become a hit because yeah this is just a really nice love song that just feels easy to listen to and go back to unlike "Simply Irresistible" which felt kind of over the top in 1986 but not this song which makes my day whenever I hear it.

HM5: "Poison" by Alice Cooper

I was going to leave this off the list but I can't, that hook just goes off and Alice Cooper's charisma does wonders. Also, why isn't this song played at Halloween more often? It's made for it!

Let's start the list proper now...

Number Ten

You know it's noticeable these days that acts from New Zealand don't break through in Australia like they used to...sure, there's Lorde but L.A.B and Six60 are yet to break into the Australian market despite notching considerable success in their homeland however in 1989, this female artist continued to notch success on the Australian charts and...yeah...no wonder...

"She Has To Be Loved" by Jenny Morris

This is definitely a song that the critics wouldn't pick for their best lists, the hook is nauseatingly repetitive so I can see how how some would hate it but here's the thing, I love it because Jenny Morris is making it believable that this guy will one day find his perfect girl who wants to be loved and appreciated because it makes her feel loved and wanted...she needs that!

I also love the production which gives the vocals room to breathe and the sinuous bass that's just enough to keep the song moving. Can also hear potential for a country cover from somebody like Kelsea Ballerini. Great song!

Number Nine

This next pick might piss my mum off, she cannot stand this song but hey I am not doing this list for my mum's happiness soooo...

"She Drives Me Crazy" by Fine Young Cannibals

I know what you are all thinking but when you have a hook that's incredibly infectious and makes you want to sing along to the point where I can overlook the background noises on the chorus that sounds like people being repeatedly jump scared but I get it? The song is about him being head over heels in love with a woman but the fact she isn't reciprocating those same feelings for him is driving him crazy however he can't help being in love with her.

Throw in that spasmodic guitar riff that's some off kilter enough to stick in the mind for days on end and paired with that falsetto that might be a little creepy but still works in the context of the song. 

Number Eight

Alright, rugby league fans you all know this next one...

"The Best" by Tina Turner

So I had a rough time with placing it on the list mainly due to the fact I am a rugby league fan, this song basically being synonymous with that code and is pretty much still the best anthem rugby league has ever had. I love Tina's somewhat raw yet powerful vocal delivery and the production that allows her to belt on the chorus in what is actually a love song that isn't sappy or over the top unlike a lot of love songs in 1989 (looking at you, Richard Marx "Right Here Waiting") and yeah, it's sweet and really kind of understated...I get why it's easy to forget it's actually a cover of Bonnie Tyler's song because yeah, Tina made this her own.

In 1992, Tina Turner would turn this song into a duet with Jimmy Barnes (a perfect duo...lol) for the Winfield Cup rugby league competition which didn't make my best hits list for 1992 but was damn close. Awesome song.

Number Seven

Speaking of Jimmy Barnes, it's time to talk about his bandmate from Cold Chisel who was notching his own solo success in 1989...

"Telephone Booth" by Ian Moss

"Whaaaaat? Where's 'Tucker's Daughter"?" I hear you cry, well as much as I think that song is pretty great, "Telephone Booth" is just slightly better in that it's a song that gives off all kinds of imagery and the appeal of this song does not need explaining the song is instantly as catchy as "Tucker's Daughter" maybe even more so. 

The song finds the protagonist out on some lonely highway somewhere, none of the issues he would have to confront at home to confront but along that drive on this desolate highway are these telephone booths reminding him tat he will have to confront the issues eventually after his escape from the horrors is over. Fantastic songbthat gets nowhere close to the attention it deserves.

Number Six

This was the last slot to fill on this list and yeah, I considered several songs but the one that felt the most right was this one....

"Chained to the Wheel" by The Black Sorrows

For the past couple of years, I have been in love with this song and yet if you listened to Joe Camilleri talk about it on ABC radio in April 2020, the song very nearly didn't make the cut which blows my mind because "Chained to the Wheel" is incredible from start to finish from the very unmistakeable opening to the brilliant interplay between Camilleri and Vika and Linda Bull, they trade verses on the song and wow, it's impressive

The song really does pack a punch lyrically though with a family on the breadline and chained to the wheel purely just survive with all the mouthes to feed am stuff going.

Either way, it says a lot about this song that in 1991, John Denver chose to cover the song...it's a solid cover as you'd expect from someone the calibre of John Denver. Fantastic song.

So before we get to the top 5, let's have five more honourable mentions...starting with...

HM6: "If I Could" by 1927

1989 was a great year for 1927 and with a song that has this much of a propulsive hook, it's no wonder!

HM7: "Cherish" by Madonna

I've always felt like this was a guilty pleasure song for me but yeah, I just find this really sweet even though, it's a bit ironic coming from Madonna of all people.

HM8: "I Don't Want a Lover" by Texas

This song just bangs! Sharpen Spiteri sounds incredible as she vows she just needs friendship not a romantic partner. Yeah, it sounds a little choppy but it works for me

HM9: "Onionskin" by BOOM Crash Opera

These here are crazy times so try keeping in mind that this unconventional song from BOOM Crash Opera is ridiculously catchy and so much fun so keep it in but don't cut it up and kick it out, okay?

HM10: "One Summer" by Daryl Braithwaite

This is one of those songs that is justbperfect for marking the end of summer with, it just sounds like a breezy late summer anthem as Daryl Braithwaite reminisces about a summer fling. Just competition for spots squeezed this one out

Now back to the list proper...

Number Five

I've said before how some songs don't hit me properly until I am adult which is how the passage of time did this song a favour or two and thus...

"The Living Years" by Mike + the Mechanics

This song just didn't do much for me as a kid but holy shit...as an adult, it packs a freaking hard punch. A song that starts small in terms of the production but whenthat chorus hits and that backing choir start singing...yeah, it's genuinely beautiful. The song just progressively gets bigger as the song goes. 

However what hits the hardest is the content, a father-son relationship that's combustible and they have never seen eye to eye on much of anything, then one day, the father has died and the son is now realising that he has no chance to talk to his father again to sort things out, build a better relationship and introduce that granchild.

Yeah, it's powerful stuff and worthy of being here.

Number Four

This is one of my favourite songs this band ever recorded and I am so beyond thrilled it was a hit in 1989...yeah, I want it all and I want it now...

"I Want It All" by Queen

I can't be the only person who kind of hears this song and hears it as a theme for the state of our society, right? Anyway all that set aside, "I Want It All" is truly an under rated Queen gem, written by Brian May about a somebody who is determined to achieve everything they want and in a hurry, most often not caring who they hurt.

I also love that Freddie Mercury and Queen embody the I want it all attitude in the delivery of the lyrics, seriously, Freddie had enough charisma for three trap rappers and then some, dude just nails it. Oh and the guitar solo bangs too.  Just a shame, AIDS robbed us of hearing Freddie sing this live. 

Number Three

Super groups are often hit and miss with me, sometimes there's the talent there but the song doesn't  come to much or in this particular case you put former Beatle George Harrison, Roy Orbison, ELO's Jeff Lynne, Tom Petty and Bob Dylan in room together and they come up with magic like this...

"Handle With Care" by The Traveling Wilburys

I mean this is a case of a song where there's almost too much talent for it too fail, that guitar riff that permeates through the song so much so the song is really comforting until you realize the lyrics are actually about somebody who is struggling looking for somebody who cares enough about them to talk to about their problems that yes can even come with success and asking this person to be compassionate and handle them with care as they are feeling particularly fragile.

Yeah, this is a song I can relate to a little too closely which is why it's so high on this list.

Number Two

So I don't always agree with the year end number one (see 2021 as proof) but for 1989, I can't disagree, this song is extraordinary and 1989 would prove to be one of the last years this artist released anything of genuine great quality...but just like a prayer, let her take us there...

"Like A Prayer" by Madonna

Let's just forget about the controversy around the music video because all that forgets that "Like a Prayer" is fucking awesome right from the electric guitar riff that opens the song before it stops and the organ and choir start then Madonna takes all the attention, she's the star of this song and she sounds incredible alone or harmonising with the choir.

I guess it can be interpreted as a love song which actually makes the lyrical duality of the song damn clever because according to Madoonna, it's about this girl who feels religious figure so close to her, she believes that this figure is a father figure in her life. Now I am not religious but I do kind of it get it. Normally a track this awesome would top this list, so what beat it?

Well before we find out, let's get to our final batch of honourable mentions, shall we?

HM11: "You Got It" by Roy Orbison 

A song released after Roy Orbison died and its just a gorgeous love song. The music industry today could only dream of handling posthumous releases this well. Great song.

HM12: "I Won't Back Down" by Tom Petty

Yeah, this song has more resonance now than when it was released in 1989. Holy hell, a song about not backing down hits hard for me.

HM13: "Cry in Shame" by Johnny Diesel and The Injectors 

Lots of love songs in 1989, yet this was as nasty a break up song as we got on the year end list, blame being apportioned for the bitter break up of a relationship and the realisation that there's truly no one else to blame but yourself for where it went wrong. Also that sax solo is awesome.

HM14: "Tucker's Daughter" by Ian Moss

What? Did you think I'd leave this off the list entirely? I was never going to do that, this song is a bonifide 80s Australian classic! Duh!

HM15: "Buffalo Stance" by Neneh Cherry

The most excruciating cut I had to make, God damn it, consider this my unofficial number eleven.

So back to the list proper, what topped this list?

Number One

Ahh the Swedes, they've done it again!

"The Look" by Roxette

I am going to say it... Roxette are the most under rated pop act to come out of Sweden, "Listen to Your Heart" only barely missed the cut for this list and they would go on to release one of my all time favourite songs in 1991 but oh gosh, "The Look" is just 80s pop perfection from the actual music with synths, guitar and drum that sound fresh, also helps the opening line of the song is memorable "Walking like a man, hitting like a hammer" sure is one hell of a way to draw people into a pop song.

Then throw in that instantly sticky chorus that will not ever leave your head for days, it's incredibly  infectious and fun in ways I cannot possibly explain here. The song refers to a woman who has this particular confident look about her that makes her extremely attractive and sexy...hey, kind of a call back to "She Has To Be Loved"  by Jenny Morris! 

Now, I will say that this song was nearly ruined by an ad for blinds and awnings in the 90s especially during cricket season but thank goodness, time and returning to the song helped me to love this amazing slice of pop music.

"The Look" by Roxette the best hit song of 1989.

 

Top Ten Worst Hit Songs of 1989

 Ahh yes, the time has come to peruse the best and worst that 1989's pop music had to offer and to make those top ten lists although for me making this worst list felt really difficult as there just weren't that many songs that outright pissed me off as I generally liked a lot of what we got in 1989 pop music wise which basically puts me at odds with most critics who say 1989 was a baaad year for the charts however what did wind up on my worst list....whooo boy... it just stunk to high hell mostly in saccharine, clingy pop that I imagine even love song dedications radio DJs would be faintly embarrassed to play in 2022.

Regardless, here's the rules for this list, for songs to wind up here, they must debut on the ARIA year end chart for 1989 OR chart on the 1989 year end higher than it did on the 1988 year end. Also no dishonourable mentions as there just weren't enough worthy of ire, "Stop" by Sam Brown is just mediocre and really not worth hanging shit on.

So you got that? Good, now lets dump some musical garbage out at sea, beginning with...

Number Ten

If you have seen my worst hit songs lists then you will know just how much shitty cover versions piss me off, there's three covers that will make this list and we're beginning with a song that tells a year's old tale.... just a shame the late 80s had to turn it into a mess...

10. "Iko Iko" by The Belle Stars

I wish artists would understand the history of the song they are covering before they go into a studio and turn it into a clusterfuck like The Belle Stars did with "Iko Iko". The song originally written and recorded in 1953 under another title "Jock-a-mo" by James 'Sugar Boy' Crawford and his Cane Cutters and then changed to the more famous title in 1965 when The Dixie Cups made it a hit. The song tells the story of a parade collision between two Indian Mardi Gras tribes and the traditional confrontation between the tribes in New Orleans so what we needed in 1989 was The Belle Stars version being this heavy drums and pretty much noise that drowns out the vocals and oh God, I feel a splitting headache coming on. The worst part is that I doubt they even understand what the effing song is even about! Ugh...

Number Nine

Say what you want about "Iko Iko", there's much worse like this wretched effort from this one hit wonder that did not ring my bell at all...

"Ring My Bell" by Collette

I may not really like Anita Ward's original "Ring My Bell" but I would take it over this overproduced train wreck of a cover from New Zealand born Aussie Collette, the song is a disaster right out of the God damn gate with what sounds like a tennis player grunting or somebody having sex...take your pick and Collette's nasal voice delivery the verses like she's in the last stages of a violent head cold!. The backing vocals are badly placed and the wail of "You can ring my bell" just gets fucking annoying. I'm only ever going to ring the bell to place it on this worst list.

Number Eight

The fact this is only number eight on this list kind of stuns me considering just how much this pisses me off. Folks, this is how you should not take a classic Carole King song and turn it into monogenre garbage.

"I Feel the Earth Move" by Martika

1989 was the year of Martika, she had two songs make the year end for 1989 with her biggest hit being "Toy Soldiers" which, I guess, is fine compared to this disaster of a cover of a really sweet Carole King love song, let's start with the fact Martika yells "I. FEEL. THE. EARTH. MOVEUNDERMYFEET" which honestly rips out the charm and soul of King's original. Oh let's not forget that the piano was replaced by tired synths and whatever the hell the rest of this is, it's clunky and paired with Martika yelling, it is a headache of a cover...Carole King deserves better.

Number Seven 

So Neighbours had spawned several singers by this time... Stefan Dennis, Kylie Minogue and this next guy on this list and if there is one thing I hate in a love song, it's the protagonist being overtly clingy or weepy when their partner wants to leave them...

"Too Many Broken Hearts" by Jason Donavan

Let's get the first thing annoys me about this song out of the way for a guy who doesn't want this girl leave him, Donavan sounds emotionless like singing this hacked out plea for this girl to not leave him is just something to do...that said, it does have the feel of being  a Rick Astley left over that even he likely thought was bad. The music is pretty stock late 80s fare, piano, washed orfut synths and drums apart from that guitar at the beginning but the reason this song is here is because of the lyrics where she wants out of the relationship but Donavan can't let her go because he needs her body and soul and because there's too many broken hearts in the world, he is going to either fight for her to stay which is just....ugh...maybe she's had enough of being the adult in this relationship while v throw toddler tantrums and cling to her ankles like chewing gum on a shoe, Jason? Ughh, this song is just ripe with gross clingyness that it weird me out however there's another song that dips into clingy territory and is worse than this later on this list but this is still terrible.

Number Six

So I really struggled with where to place this song, I've hated it for years and it's revival in a car as where kids sang didn't help me feel anything but a deep burning desire to yell "FUCKING SAIL AWAY ALREADY, DAMN IT!" and now I have said that, you know what this it.

"Orinoco Flow" by Enya

I wish I understood the appeal of songs like this, mumbled singing until the singer, in this case, Enya squawks out "Sail away" repeatedly for a hook until your ears bleed and you realize 70s yacht rock is better than this. Yeah, give me Kenny Loggins and any of the yacht rock set over this boring chore of a song that yes, it sounds pretty but really it's also pretty much the kind of adult alternative junk that easy listening stations play to the annoyance of everyone listening. Also just the phrase 'Orinoco Flow" makes me think of toilets....flush away, flush away...

Number Five

You know, even despite how high this is, I'm not as angry at this as I am at songs lower on this list... time can manufacture distance from the song and the fact the duo didn't actually record it does dilute the anger however that doesn't stop the song from being here...

"Baby, Don't Forget My Number" by Milli Vanilli

So let's forget for the moment that Milli Vanilli didn't actually record this, they just lip synced for the public but just how clunky this whole mess is. The rapping sounds stilted, have no genuine flow and at the end, he sounds like he is asking a question rather than being firm in being there for this girl. Also has anyone associated with this mess heard of some actual drums and instrumentation that doesn't sound so watery,it literally sounds like they released the bloody demo! Thisisone of the music industry's most amateur moments ever and for somebody to have green lit this...ughhh.

Number Four

Okay, l'm not going to waste time, time to answer the central question of this song.

"Where Did I Go Wrong?" by UB40

Okay so the conceit of this song is this guy wondering what he did for his girlfriend to want to up and leave him...well maybe confront the major issues with this song like that incredibly annoying flute loop and the song lyrically makes the guy sound as clingy as Jason fucking Donavan, the song describes her as sounding completely done with the relationship so why are you whining about her being gone for good when it's likely she wants rid of your toxic ass...let her go, stop being toxic and stop making bad songs! 

Let's not talk about UB40's godawful early 90s Elvis cover... we'll pretend that never happened, okay?

Number Three

Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take ya...just not on the back of this nightmare fuel...

"Kokomo" by The Beach Boys

The Beach Boys, one of the most influential bands of the 60s outside of The Beatles, returned in 1989 with possibly their worst song since "Barbara Ann" aka "Barbar the Ants" and holy hell, instead of driving down a woman's body like her body is back road like Sam Hunt in 2017 ("Body Like A Back Road" is still fucking repulsive), the Beach Boys want to fly the 'pretty mama" to Aruba, Jamaica, Bermuda, Bahama (They dropped the 's' off Bahamas to make the already stinky lyrics work) and not forgetting Key Largo (Bertie Higgins already did that, guys!) and Montego before randomly settling on Kokomo and suggest having sex on the beach and fall in love which is doing it ass backwards, you are supposed to fall in love before plugging your dick into her soon to be sand filled pussy pussy but hey the song does say they'll take it fast before taking it slow....NONE OF THIS MAKES SEX ON THE BEACH ATTRACTIVE OR SAND IN THE PUSSY APPEALING.

Throw in the washed out and lazy music, sleazy vocal delivery and you have a very unattractive music advert for sex on the beach in years.

Number Two

Not much needs to be said here other than ask why did Bette Midler record cats fighting in a bag and release it as a single?

"Wind Beneath My Wings" by Bette Midler

Oh God, just whhyyy? I know funerals need their music too but if this song was meant to be uplifting or inspiring....it doesn't work. IBette Midler literally opens the song belittling the person she's talking to by singing "It must have been cold there in my shadow" before launching into this cornball chorus where with person's help she can fly high than an eagle (she also used the eagle reference in 1991's "From A Distance" which is also a bad song that is right up there for worst of 1991) over a bland piano which has about as much texture as runny baby poo except you'd swear they are trying to make this saccharine blandness sound appealing...until it gets to the breakdown and the cry of "Fly " over and over leaves the distinct feeling that innocent cats are in a bag fighting in a bland song about somebody being a hero ... My final words for this are: RELEASE THE CATS FROM THE BAG!

Number One

So after all that, what could possibly be the worst hit song of 1989? Well let's go back to one of the themes of this list, clingy men not being able to let go and talk it over in bed with Grayson Hugh...

"Talk It Over" by Grayson Hugh.

So this wasn't going to be my number one at first, I thought the song was kind of bad, this weird attempt at late 80s downtuned Motown that would have seen this place low on this list but it was a closer listen to Grayson Hugh's braying delivery and the lyrics that shot this right to the top because....woooow,  he has obviously cheated or done something to upset this girl and now he is pathetically trying to beg her not to do what she probably should and leave this thinking with his dick toxic douchebag by means by gaslighting (the "I can tell you still want me" line is such blatant gaslighting, it ought to be illegal) and asking her if they can "talk it over in bed". Dude, she wants to be done with you, the last thing she wants with you is sexy time...no amount of sex will fix your failing relationship if she has her bags packed to leave, you literally only want her in your bed in the hope your dick can make her forget that you were an asshole to her

This song made me feel ill every time I heard it, from the lyrics to the high pitched female backing vocals who can't harmonise, Hugh's abrasive braying and music that pretty much represents everything that was wrong with music in 1989.

"Talk It Over" by Grayson Hugh is the worst hit song of 1989. Stay tuned for the best list!

ARIA Singles Top 50 new entries special: October

 "Romantic Homicide" by D4VD

Well, it appears we are starting October on a pretty shitty note with this slice of lame indie drudge from American rapper D4vd (pronounced David) that got Tik Tok virality to notch a slot on the chart and quite frankly this song blows not even just that D4vd sounds like Alex Turner from the Arctic Monkeys having a wrench progressively tightened on his buts as he croons his way through this self pity party of a song over a guitar that has all the flavour of liquid diarrhoea. Yuck!

"Evergreen (You Didn't Deserve Me At All)" by Omar Apollo

This is an interesting one, Omar Apollo is a bilingual (he sings in English and Spanish) American singer-songwriter with this song getting traction and I have to say this is pretty excellent, it's a slice of r&b soul that these days does not get the attention it so richly deserves. Apollo is trying desperately to move on from a broken relationship but is finding it difficult to move on because he still has real feelings for this person despite the shitty things they have done to him, it's a great song worth checking  out.

"Star Walkin'" by Lil Nas X

The newest Lil Nas X song comes from a collab with League of Legends and wow, I don't feel anything at all from this, it is not a bad song but it sounds oddly calculating and sterile which is weird coming from Lil Nas X of all people but he has done so much better than this. 

"Unholy" by Sam Smith and Kim Petras

See, this is why we should have made "Diamonds" a hit because then at least there would be no reason for Sam Smith and Kim Petras to get in a studio and make this cacophonous train wreck where lyrically Smith and Petras aren't on the same god damn page, Smith is trying to get naughty over what this guy does behind his wife's back while Petras is trying to get all steamy while name dropping expensive brand! What is worse is that this song sounds like a wall of noise... awful...

"Ferrari" by James Hype & Miggy Dela Rosa

English pair James Hype and Miggy Dela Rosa get together to create a weird song where they conflate sex and Ferraris over this weirdly flat groove which I guess kind of makes sense if he is comparing his sexual performance to a Ferrari...it's just a weird song that does nothing for me, that's all.

"How Do I Say Goodbye" by Dean Lewis

Okay so this is probably the best song on that new mediocre Dean Lewis album,  I have pretty much come to the conclusion that Lewis is the Australian version of Lewis Capaldi  only Lewis seems to have more of an idea of his vocal range. On this particular song, Lewis is questioning how he can possibly say goodbye to his dying father when his father has been a big part of Lewis's life...honestly there's better songs in this vein but this has its moments, it's fine.

"Celestial" by Ed Sheeran

Okay so Ed Sheeran made this song for that new Pokemon game and I actually really like this mostly because I think it has the potential to be a pretty damn great pop rock song...the foundations are there...if only they hadn't gone down the EDM breakdown route. Also Ed Sheeran singing this to a Squirtle sounds all sorts of cute.

"Edging" by Blink-182

Oh God...why? This is not the sort of comeback that anyone could have wanted from  Blink 182, this is bad in all of kinds of ways where the production doesn't make any of the wilful immaturity on display seem fun plus the lyrics are painfully juvenile so yeah avoid this garbage...next!

"Poland" by Lil Yachty 

This only got traction because of the forced  "I took a wock to Poland" meme otherwise there's nothing much else to this pointless fragment of a song.

"Bones" by Imagine Dragons

Oh geez, then again maybe I was being harsh on Blink 182 because yeah this song might be the most irritating thing this band have released since "Enemeeeeee". That God damn painful hook that sounds like children shrieking or mice after finding a shred of moldy cheese. Ugh. 

" Miss You" by Oliver Tree and Robin Schulz

Okay so producer Siouthstar took a Oliver Tree song called "Jerk" and used a  sample that was cleared by Tree's label for a song called "Miss You", fellow producer Robin Schulz picked up the song, made a few quick changes, did not get permission and released in what seems plagiarism however let's deal with the fact that this sounds like a nuclear propulsion, it's terribly mixed and Oliver Tree's voice sounds shrill...next!

"Snow on the Beach" by Taylor Swift  feat. Lana Del Rey

Now into the first of three songs from Taylor Swift's pretty damn great album "Midnights", this one featuring Lana Del Rey on backing vocals and yeah this one has been growing on me a lot, it just manages to sound absolutely gorgeous and while I at first thought Lana was was wasted just serving backing vocals, I can't deny it works, check it out.

"Lavender Haze" by Taylor Swift

The album opener that like "Snow on the Beach" has really grown on me with its warped melody and groove that reminds me a lot of trends in modern r'n'b plus lyrics where Taylor sings about avoiding tabloid speculation about her relationship with her boyfriend, Joe Alwyn. I will also note that the hook can get stuck in your head.

"Anti Hero" by Taylor Swift

 I have been wanting to talk about this song for ages because my God, this is Taylor's best lead single to date and one of my favourite songs of 2022 regardless of it being a hit or not, the lyrics of this song pack an incredible punch with Taylor realising that she's the problem in the eyes of some people and it must be exhausting for them to cheer for her the anti hero and to highlight that she repeatedly sings "it's me, hi, the problem is me:" until her voice goes ragged. The 80s style synths and the vocal harmonies just make this song stand out. This is Taylor Swift at her best

Worst of the month: "Miss You" by Robin Schulz and Oliver Tree

Dishonourable Mention: "Romantic Homicide " by D4VD and "Poland" by Lil Yachty

Honourable Mention: "Evergreen (You Didn't Deserve Me At All) by Omar Apollo and "Snow on the Beach" by Taylor Swift feat Lana Del Rey 

Best of the Month: "Anti-Hero" by Taylor Swift (duh)