Good 1992 Vibrations: 12th January. Black or White rules roost as The KLF get "Justified & Ancient"

Well we're into the first chart week of the new year and it's actually a lot more interesting than I had expected mostly because there's some challengers to a song that has been number one since mid December 1991 with that song being "Black Or White" by Michael Jackson which had enough sales to maintain itself at number one.

It's nearest challenger remains "Cream" by Prince and The New Power Generation which climbed one spot to number two this week while also posing a solid challenge is "Let's Talk about Sex" by Salt-N-Pepa whch clinbed one place to number three although it can be argued the reason why both these songs gained is that former number one "I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred suffered a two place fall to number four. 

Then we have The Rockmelons collaboration with Deni Hines for a very early 90s cover of Bill Withers classic 'Ain't No Sunshine" which climbed two places to number five, 

The highest new entry of the week is at number six with "Don't Let the Sun Go Down on:Me" by George Michael and Elton John, more on this song later but it's certainly got the ingredients to be big with good sales. 

It pushed 'When Something Is Wrong with my baby" by Jimmy Barnes and John Farnham back one place to number seven.as it fades naturally.

All this meant that "Mysterious Ways" by U2 fell three places to number eight and is vulnerable to "All 4 Love" by Colour Me Bad up two places to hit the top ten at number nine. Dear god...I can only hope "Mysterious Ways" hangs on for grim death.

However in good news, "Come to Me" by Diesel rose two places to number ten, this song is really damn solid. Check it out.

Gains

So we had a few big gainers this week, most notably Seattle grunge band Nirvana with "Smells Like Teen Spirit" rising twenty places to 13, this is headed for the top ten...just watch.

Big Audio Dynamite II look headed for another hit with "The Globe" rising from 43 to 31 while Rozalla's "Everybody's Free (To Feel Good" jumped from 39 to 25...got a feeling that this one might make a top ten push at some stage but we'll see.

Roxette's "Spending My Time" climbed from 29 to 17 while Julian Lennon's "Saltwater" continues to rise, this week up 12 places to 16.

Re Entries

Just the one return with MC Hammer's pretty terrible "2 Legit 2 Quit" somehow back at number 44.

Losers

We have a lengthy list of losers this week folks so I'm starting at the bottom and working my way up. 

Dropping eight places to 49 is "Can't Stop This Thing We Started" by Bryan Adams (This song is a guilty pleasure for me so kind of sad to see it on the way out)

"I Gotcha" by Jiumy Barnes is losing it's grip on its place in the top 50 as it tumbles nine spots to 45 while Maybe Dolls plunged eight places to 43 with "Nervous Kid".

A song I absolutely dislike also took a big hit that being "Break in the Weather" by Jenny Morris which collapsed from 26 to 41...not sad to see this as Jenny has done better.

The Wonder Stuff's Australian Tour Souveneir EP called "Caught In My Shadow" slipped seven places to number 38 while "Good Vibrations" by Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch feat. Loleatta Holloway slipped nine spots to 29 (More on Marky Mark and his Funky Bunch in the new entries)

Another 1991 hit taking a fall was "Live Your Life Be Free" by Belinda Carlisle which dropped eight places to 27 while PM Dawn's "Set Adrift on Memory Bliss" tumbled from 15 to 22.

Metallica skidded from 14 to 21 with "The Unforgiven" while Tomislav Ivcic's anti war song and top ten hit "Stop the War in Croatia" took a twelve place hit to to number 20. while the other top ten hit to fall hard was Robbie Nevil's "Just Like You" which dropped nine places to 18. 

New Entries

Number 47: "How Can I Keep from Singing" by Enya

So I feel I need to say this, Enya's music is the epitome of background noise filler, it's the sort of music you put on when curing insomnia so how is this latest single from her 1991 album "Shepherd Moons"...honestly its more of the same background filler noise, Enya sounds nice on the song but the longer the song went the more I was convinced it doesn't belong on the ARIA singles chart. Fast forward!

Number 46: "Finally" by Ce Ce Peniston

Well okay, this is a bit of a wake up call after having to listen to that sleepy Enya song and it comes from an American former beauty queen turned singer and actress so I was kind of interested to hear song and yeah, it's fine...it's got a pop sensibility to it that makes the song work really well,and the lyrics describing somebody finally finding that person to love are cute...it's decent without being great...I'll still take it.

Number 40: "Justified & Ancient" by The KLF 

So The KLF are a British electronic hip hop act formed in 1987 and otherwise known as Justified Ancients of the Mu Mu and many other names. Its a pretty sample heavy song that uses country singer Tammy Wynette very well, she sounds GREAT here. and the harmonies around the hook are gorgeous. You know what? I dig this, its a bit oddball but hey, its a damn good song...hope it's a hit. 

Number 37: "Martika's Kitchen" by Martika

Alright so we've got a pop cut from one of the break out stars of the late 80s and honestly why does this song feel like a tamer version of Katy Perry's 2017 disaster "Bon Appetit" feat. Migos?. Especially as Martika proclaims "The oven is hot" and I almost get the sense she's calling her vagina a kitchen...look, I know it's probably not but the song leaves me with no choice but to make that interpretation! 

The song is trying to go for this sexy vibe that just doesn't work when Martika is singing like a silly seventeen year old girl who is reading Cleo or Cosmopolitan's sealed section full of dicks for the first time. Look, there are worse sex songs out there but yeah I don't have any desire to go back to this.

Number 33: "Wildside" by Marky Mark and The Funky Bunch

Ohh boy, I don't even know where ti start with this one, Mark Wahlberg and his "Funky Bunch" got a hit back in 1991 with "Good Vibrations" mostly due to Loleatta Holloway being an incredible vocalist so for their follow up they sample Lou Reed's "Walk on The Wild Side" (speeding up the tempo) to deliver a "Hey kids, don't take drugs: message in spite of the song they are sampling referencing oral sex! There's no real fire or passion that you would need to resonate or hit hard with teenagers who might be vulnerable to the pressure of taking drugs. 

"Wildside" is just sloppily put together and I do think they could have found a less cringey sample to make the song hit hard but ehh.

Number 6: "Don't Let the Sun Go Down On Me" by Elton John and George Michael

This song is originally a Elton John song that was written by Elton John and his co writer at the time Bernie Taupin, recorded and released in 1974, peaking at number 13 on the Kent Music Report and didn't make the year end list for that year which is weird so in 1991, Elton John brought George Michael on board for a live version of the song which the pair had first performed together at the 1985 Live Aid concerts. 

I'll be hoenst and say this isn't my favourite Elton John however this is still really damn god and Elton John and George Michael sound fantastic together...I love that the hook builds and builds into that chorus and that piano line is gorgeous. 

However it's only getting honourable mention because best of the week is going to "Justified & Ancient" by The KLF.

The worst of the week is going to Martika for "Martika's Kitchen" because that song is just cringe. Dishonourable mention to "Wildside" by Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch for messing up something that might have worked with a better choice of sample.

ARIA Singles Chart Top Ten/Chart Review: January 11th. Chart resets for 2021 in some ways..

 So this week saw a reset with all of the Christmas music gone and 2019 and 2020 releases rushing to fill the gaps although we did get four new songs on the chart this week but we'll get to that, let's deal firstly with the top ten where much to my delight, "Mood" by 24kGoldn and Iann Dior held onto the number one spot mostly thanks to streaming being at least consistent, it held up over "Without You" by The Kid Laroi which thankfully remains stuck at number two because the only traction it's got right now is mostly on Spotify.

"Head & Heart" by Joel Corry feat. MNEK remains stuck at number three as it still has some sales traction and streaming is still solid...it's hanging around a lot longer than I thought but it's coming under pressure from "Levitating" by Dua Lipa and DaBaby which rose one place to number four, this song has some streaming and while sales did take a hit this week, there's a tiny chance that it could go to number one in a few weeks time...we'll see.

There's a new entry at number five from Justin Bieber called "Anyone", we'll get into the song's quality later but it's here mostly thanks to good sales and streaming that while good wasn't able to push the song any higher.but might do in the weeks ahead.

Holding steady at number six is "positions" by Ariana Grande and also "Afterglow" by Ed Sheeran at number seven, the latter having sales traction and a little streaming.

Rising three places to number eight is "Fly Away" by Tones and I, this song has traction on sales and is climbing on streaming so this isn't going to go away any time soon and I am honestly fine with that as this is a good song, probably one of the first to be on my year end best list considerations.

"So Done" by The Kid Laroi went up one spot to number nine thanks to streaming, it moved past "Blinding Lights" by The Weeknd which fell two places to number ten.

Gains

"Heat Waves" by Glass Animals gained 10 places to 22, "Monster" by Shawn Mendes feat. Justin Bieber rose six places to  29, "Paradise" by Meduza feat. Dermot Kennedy climbed seven to 33 (actually annoyed about this song, the song is fine but Dermot Kennedy has done better eg: "Power over Me"). "Lasting Lover" by Sigala and James Arthur broke into the top twenty up eight places to 19. 

"Watermelon Sugar" by Harry Styles rebounded seven places to 17,  "34+35" by Ariana Grande returned up six places to 15 and it's got some traction now...it could go top ten soon.

Re Entries

So we had six returns this week, starting at 44 with "Circles" by Post Malone, "Wonder" by Shawn Mendes back at 45 (not a bad week for Mendes), "Dancing in the Moonlight" by Jubel feat. Neimy waltzed back in at 46, "For the Night" by Pop Smoke popped back in at 47, Justin Bieber's slightly less "Lonely" with Benny Blanco back at 48 and the worst of the returns being "Befote You Go" by Lewis Capaldi at 49 (the song still sucks)

Losses

The biggest loss was for "WAP" by Cardi B feat. Megan Thee Stallion which slipped four places to 26 but that was really it in terms of losers.

Drop Outs

As I said at the beginning, all the drop outs were Christmas music.

New Entries

So there's a change to the way I am dealing with new entries this year. I am going to be doing a brief review of each of the new entries. Album bomb weeks will have rules which I will explain when we get to having an album bomb week likely from Drake later this month

So we've got four new entries, starting with

50. "Love Not War (the Tampa Beat)" by Jason DeRulo and Nuka

Do you ever get the feeling that an artist is using the next few singles to try to recreate the lightning in a bottle that was a previous hit? This was the feeling I got when I heard this song that Jason DeRulo co wrote, the song reworking Nuka's song "4 Brylean (WayzRmx2018)" with the lyrics playing to DeRulo just wanting him and this girl to get back to having sex rather than fighting and honestly it's a bit of a shame that DeRulo spends more time bragging about how much money he has spent on this giirl and bemoaning that when he and this girl stop touching they don't stay in touch...the lyrics kind of justify why this girl may not be keen to dive back in.

DeRulo just comes across as whinging here, it's not pleasant at all and as for the production...that horn swonk has got to be the most annoying sound ever and pervades pretty much everything but the verses. I think I'll pass on this one. Time to move on!

40. "The Business" by Tiesto

 So Tiesto is back on the ARIA singles chart for the first time since "Jackie Chan" with Post Malone and Preme in 2018 and I honestly don't see the appeal here, the instrumentation is your usual electronic/house song fare while the vocals are deep but don't provide much in the way of anything interesting especially when the lyrics just don't quite connect at all or even tell much of a story, its so vague, its not precisely bad but it's not anything I want to come back too.

38. "Good Days" by SZA

I've had a weird relationship when it comes to SZA, I've never really felt compelled to care about her music at all, her brand of R'n'B hasn't done anything for me in the past so when "Good Days" hit the ARIA singles chart I was wondering what I was in for but as it turned out SZA found a way to make a pretty compelling song that manages to connect, its a gentle piano song where SZA is reminding herself that the world might feel like its crumbling around her but there are still good days ahead and that the best is yet to come...the song is reassuring but not blind to the problems the world is facing. I like it. Good job!

5. "Anyone" by Justin Bieber

Okay...another Justin Bieber song...a song I will say I unfairly lashed out at mostly because it is better than the entirety of that last album and Bieber is at least a little more convincing in a song that sounds like it might be aimed at his wife...again...at least there's something in his delivery that's believable. I just wish the production was a bit more energetic rather than that popping drum line...just feels like there's something missing in the production...still doesn't change that while not good or great. It's passable.

Worst of the week is going to "Love Not War" by Jason DeRulo and Nuka. "Savage Love" may not have pissed me off like it did many others last year but the production and DeRulo not selling it at all with his delivery make it the obvious stand out for worst of the week.

SZA is getting best of the week for "Good Days". Good song that I hope becomes a sustainable hit as currently looks likely.

That wraps up the week, not sure whats coming next week, the US is bracing for a Morgan Wallen album bomb on the Hot 100 but as for the ARIA singles chart, I am not sure...it could be a quiet week as far as new entries go...we'll see on Saturday at 5pm AEDT

New Music Friday Review Part 1: January 8th. The WORST song of 2021 already?

So this is the lead single from the new Florida Georgia Line album coming soon and I was hoping they'd keep going on their trend from "Lit This Year"...a Christmas song that is pretty good coming from a duo known for bro country so what did we get with "New Truck"?

Seems for the last few years, we've had a song released in early January that was a clear stand out for the year end number one on the worst lists eg: "Yummy":by Justin Bieber last year and "7 Rings" by Ariana Grande in 2019, well "My Truck" by Florida Georgia is that song for 2021 because holy shit, where to even start?

Well let's start with the lyrics which are just Florida Georgia Line's checklist bro country bragging about having this new truck and therefore a new souped ride that they like too high and that's all before using the term 'shawty' like they are Justin Bieber in 2010...what a way to make your song sound instantly dated! Also adlibs because Florida Georgia Line think they can get away with trying to lazily merge country with using stale hip hop adlibs you'd find on Migos albums "Culture" and "Culture II" for that matter. The hip hop integration is at best lousy and at worst fucking insulting to both country and hip hop genres.

Also bragging about having alligator skin interiors? Not sure that's a brag you should be making in a time of strong animal rights considerations.

As for the production, well its closer to pop and hip hop with the leering gang vocals and a creaking noise in the second verse that I was convinced that somebody's cat had somehow been accidentally recorded and included in the mix with how off key it sounds (some cats can meow to a tune but not the one on this Florida Georgia Line song. The vocal delivery on the chorus reminds me of fucking "Swayze" by Zac Brown. Nothing goes with anything and there's not a hit of country instrumentation on the song apart of the braying vocals of the duo.

I originally thought that "My Truck" was so bad that it was perversely funny but than I realized that this could be the next evolution of fucking bro country where it barely even sounds like country music but will get played on country radio anyway...this song is absolute fucking ASS...DO NOT inflict this on anyone.

Rating: 1/10

The Best World Hits of 2020

So I'm not blinkered, the ARIA singles chart, while it was good to great in 2020, it could have been even better so I decided to take a glance around the world and see what made year end lists for 2020 and pick out songs that made the year end lists in other countries but won't in Australia.

The only rule is that I can only pick one song from a respective country's year end list so yeah there's obvious pick from NZ coming. 

Let's start in the good old USA...

"Even Though I'm Leaving" by Luke Combs (Billboard Hot 100 year end: 85)

There were a slew of country songs I could have chosen from the US year end list. This is a song that is right up there as one of Luke Combs best and shows that neo traditional country can still make the mainstream. A song about a father/son relationship and honestly if you aren't crying when that final verse hits than you are stronger than I was...this song just has such an emotional impact, it's hard to quantify which I guess could be as a result of border clsoures and families being separated from one another, whatever the case, this song is still concentrated wonderful.

Let's head over to Europe and this time to Belgium...

"Heartbreaker" by Loic Nottet (Ultratop Belgium Year End: 47)

I could have chosen "Kings & Queens" by Ava Max but I had to go with this one. I think the reason I like this so much is because it sounds like a recent Dua Lipa song and yeah the lyrics play toward Nottet wanting this girl but the girl isn't sure, she thinks he'll break her heart but he is reassuring her that he is for real and loves her. The song is just catchy and has a really damn solid groove.

Heading over to the UK and Britain's favourite girl group

"Break Up Song" by Little Mix (Offical Charts UK Year End: 58)

UK presented me with a tough choice, I could have gone with "Diamonds" by Sam Smith which charted for a couple of weeks in Australia or this slice of 80s inspired pop from a girl group that i have had mixed feelings on since their album "Get Weird" but "Break Up Song" plays into territory that I like with pop, building through the verses and bridge into a chorus where the girls actually have distinctive harmonies and sound good rather than shouting which put me off songs like "Shoutout To My Ex"...while I didn't enjoy the album all that much, I can appreciate "Break Up Song" as a pop banger.

I'm not saying that Ava Max isn't a little trashy and a little vapid but god damn, her music is fun...

"Salt" by Ava Max (Swiss Year End: 24)

If "My Head & My Heart" can't be here than "Salt" from Ava Max's debut album is a good replacement because yeah this song just works for me in the same way a lot of songs from "Heaven & Hell" work, a simple pop structure with Ava Max holding it together vocally. You can tell that "Salt" was tailor made to appeal to the European markets hence it ending up on Switzerland's year end list high up at 24 but hey it worked for the Swiss audience and in 2020, I needed the fun music that Ava Max brought to the table. 

Hey Australia, there's a Dua Lipa song we somehow didn't make a hit in 2020...

"Fever" by Dua Lipa feat. Angele (France Year end: 94)

I was surprised this song was not a hit in Australia mostly because it kind of twists everything Dua Lipa did on Future Nostalgia into this sultry sexy vibe where Dua Lipa and Angele just play off each other so well that there's almost a natural chemistry, they both sound great and that hook might well be one of the best of 2020 outside of "Mood" by 24k Golden and Ian Dior.

So let's leave Europe and head back to North America and more precisely Canada where this song only just scraped onto the bottom of their year end chart....

"Cold Feet" by Loud Luxury (Canadian Billboard Hot 100 Year end: 99)

I only discovered this song through watching Spectrum Pulse's year end best hit songs list where he had a special section on good songs that hit the year end Canadian Hot 100 but didn't in the US and were good enough to make his year end best hit songs list had they made the American Hot 100 Year end list with this song being one of them and I am flummoxed as to how good this song is, for one thing the production knows when to provide the swell to support the vocals and when it needs to hold back to let the vocals shine, "Cold Feet' is a song about a couple wanting to get married but one of the pair gets cold feet about the impending nuptials but there's no resentment or bitterness...just confusion and wanting to wish the other person well, its a sad song that doesn't wallow and knows how to tell its story and yeah, it's probably a song that I got to all a bit too late...

Well you all knew this was coming, didn't you?

"In the Air" by L.A.B (New Zealand Year End: 1)

I am stunned this song wasn't bigger outside of New Zealand, mostly because "In The Air" is the sort of chill laidback summer song that has grooves for days and those harmonies are just...gorgeous. It's up there as one of my favourite songs of 2020...period. I am honestly also very happy that it finished the year as the biggest song to chart in New Zealand beating The Weeknd which is an incredible achievement when it's considered how big "Blinding Lights" was but also a true credit to how absolutely fantastic "In the Air" is  If you haven't heard this song yet, I highly recommend you do so. 

ARIA Singles Top Ten/ Chart Review: January 4th 2021. Weird Week as Mood retakes number one

 So we have a pretty strange week here, mostly because the Christmas songs didn't quite leave the chart yet which led to a strange combination of Christmas music and the non Christmas songs on the chart...that said I expect all the Christmas songs gone next week.

However Christmas being over and the subsequent streaming slowdown meant that "Mood" by 24kGoldn and Iann Dior returned to number one for a tenth week, it's still got just enough streaming and sales to hang on ahead of  "Without You" by The Kid Laroi which rebounded two places to number two, it's not got sales and only has Spotify in terms of streaming so I am not sure if this can get to number one (if it doesn't get there...I'm fine with that...the song isn't good).

What might also be a chance is "Head & Heart" by Joel Corry & MNEK which moved back up four places to number three, it's still got some streaming and sales...just needs another push to get it to the top. 

Falling off the number one is "All I Want for Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey as Christmas comes to end for another year, it will be gone next week. 

What might benefit is "Levitating" by Dua Lipa feat. DaBaby rebounding three places to number five, this song still has plenty of traction on streaming and even some sales still. Nice to see.

Ariana Grande's "Positions" rebounded nine places to number six, its still got streaming but literally no sales. 

This is where we get to the biggest gain of the week courtesy of rising FORTY places to number seven, it's Ed Sheeran's loosey single "Afterglow", its a sales behemoth and has respectable sales, I think this might just become a hit thanks to the timing of the release which strikes just enough of a wistful chord with people.

Returning to the top ten is "Blinding Lights" by The Weeknd as it jumped five places to number eight thanks mostly to streaming.

The biggest loser within the top ten was "Last Christmas" by Wham which slipped from number two to number nine this week and like "All I want for Christmas is You" above it, it will be gone next week.

Finally up one place is "So Done" by The Kid Laroi to number 10...yay...I guess.

Gains

I already mentioned the gain into the top ten for "Afterglow" by Ed Sheeran but the other gain worth noting was from Glass Animals with "Heat Waves" which rise ten places to 32...that song has had consistent momentum for weeks now...fair chance this could be a hit.

The other gains are rebounds on the back of Christmas music falling away with "One Too Many" by Keith Urban and Pink up fwelve to 46, "Don't Start Now" by Dua Lipa up nine places to 41, "Dance Monkey" by Tones and I rebounded eleven to 29 (this song got a sixth wind on streaming somehow), "Dreams" by Fleetwood Mac rebounded 12 places to 17. 

Re Entries

So I am just going to list these because we had five returns so starting from the bottom of the top 50...

49. "How to Make Gravy" by Paul Kelly

47. "Some Say" by Nea

45. "Someone You Loved" by Lewis Capaldi (YOU KNOW THIS CAN GO THE FUCK AWAY ANY TIME NOW!)

43. "Holiday" by Lil Nas X (Happy to see this song back)

42. "Send it!" by Hooligan Hefs

Losers

The big losers are mostly all Christmas music with the biggest being "Do They Know It's Christmas?" by Band Aid plunging from 19 to 34 but beyond Christmas music, there was a drop from 17 to 24 for "Watermelon Sugar" by Harry Styles while "Lemonade" by Internet Money and Gunna feat. Don Toliver and Nav dropping five places to 25.

Drop Outs

All five drop outs this week are Christmas songs. 

So with no new entries that wraps up this week's chart update. Next week we'll probably get the new single from Justin Bieber turn up and I am hoping that the new song from SZA turns up (the latter is really damn solid) but we'll find out when the chart updates on Saturday at 5pm AEDT.

Don't forget worst and best lists for 2020 come out next week along with the first episode of "Good 1992 Vibrations" (it's a fun one...trust me)

The Top Ten Best Hit Songs of 2000

So after discussing the absolute worst that the year 2000 had to offer, it’s time to flip the script and talk about the good to great songs that were popular in the mainstream and honestly 2000 was a pretty middling year because while I found plenty of good songs, I didn’t find many absolutely great songs that stood out as among the absolute best which means a lot of this list is songs I like but not love especially when the year overall carried on with the tropes of the late 90s in terms of bubblegum pop,



Let’s go through the rules before we kick this thing into gear.

1. The song must have made the ARIA singles top 100 year end list.

2. A song from 1999 year end list is eligible only if they charted on the year end higher in 2000 than they did in 1999.



Got that? Good. Now time to get this started with a party…cause this group are going to show us how…



10. “S Club Party” by S Club 7

This one is more a guilty pleasure pick than anything else but if “Bring It All Back” was a self-empowerment anthem in a pop song than “S Club Party” was an in your face introduction to Bradley, Hannah, Jon, Tina, Paul, Rachel and Jo and what S Club 7 were all about, “S Club Party” is this bright, garish and somewhat obnoxious pop song that tilts straight into the party but serves the purpose of having everyone know who the band are as individuals. I will say the song is clever for that and yeah, I am not going to lie, it’s a song that I still go back to and have way too much fun with however I think the video for the song is proof that S Club 7 could throw a party anywhere? In the middle of the desert does not seem like a good idea.

Go back and check out S Club 7’s first three albums, they are a lot more fun than you remember.



Now for an artist that stepped up her game and improved in 2000…

9. “Day & Night” by Billie Piper

Billie Piper stepped away and out of her annoying brat phase (Let’s face it, “Because We Want To” is absolutely obnoxiously bratty even if that bridge is fantastic) and showed that she has pipes with this euro pop dance song that has probably one of the best hooks of 2000 (seriously the damn thing got stuck in my head for days after listening to it), it’s a pretty basic love song praising her lover for making her happy but In the case with this song this happiness can feel incredibly infectious so yeah, this song does make me happy every day and night.



Oops that’s corny but ehh, I’ll live…so stepping away from the cheesy pop songs into rock (there’s plenty of it on this list) and an Aussie band that kind of swept all before them in 1999 and 2000 for good reason



8. “Mascara” by Killing Heidi

Look, I am not sure I can quite explain why I like “Mascara” however I have always found this song to be more appealing than their 1999 hit “Weir’. I suspect it’s the part of me that views this song as being about refusing to conform to other people’s opinions and to find things out for yourself/do your own research rather than being sucked in by the crowd that in the song’s case are all dressing the same also Ella Hooper is another pretty solid reason as her vocals just sparkle on this song so yeah this song kicks loads of arse.

This next song is one that has somehow been apart of my life coming from an 80s band that somehow got a second life this year…



7. “It’s My Life” by Bon Jovi

I think this song probably describes my attitude in 2000 as a thirteen year old wand who basically didn’t give a flying about a lot of things (there are days I wish I could go back to thirteen year old me)…I just wanted to live MY life because yeah it’s the only one I’ll have and the fact that this song from a band known for songs like “You Give Love a Bad Name” says something kind of bizarre. Jon Bon Jovi sounds great here, passionate with the delivery but anthemic in terms of trying to take the audience with him and it works, this song still resonates today, it is a worthy addition to Bon Jovi’s discography.



So much like “Mascara”, I have no idea why I put this next song here…



6. “Gotta Tell You” by Samantha Mumba

This is as close as R’n’B or hip hop will get to this list this year and it comes from a one hit wonder to a degree courtesy of Ireland’s Samantha Mumba. It’s a song where Mumba thinks this guy and her have something special and hook up but then realizes he doesn’t exactly love her so she doesn’t want to give her love and affection to him if he isn’t reciprocating, it’s the sort of song that resonated and stuck with me over time more so than some of the larger hits of the year. Just a shame Samantha Mumba would never really be able to follow up that success.



Life, death, taxes and here is another rock song on my best list…

5. “Bent” by Matchbox Twenty

So in 2000, Matchbox Twenty were looking to follow up the success of their late 90s smash debut album “Yourself or Someone Like You” so the sophomore album “Mad Season” was born with “Bent” being the lead single for that album, a rock ballad about two messed up people finding each other and falling in love that it doesn’t matter that if both have stuff to sort out in life, all that matters is that they are together…it’s a song that has a hopeful note attached and honestly…hope is something I love in music.



So next up is the biggest song of the year at least according to the ARIA year end chart for 2000 and may I say deservingly so



4. “I’m Outta Love” by Anastacia

Anastacia’s got better hits than “I’m Outta Love” eg: “Left Outside Alone” in 2004 however “I’m Outta Love” is still damn great with that bass groove, keyboard, guitar and that kick ass Anastacia vocals…lets not make any bones about it, Anastacia is the star of this track as she begs for this former lover to let her go and move on with her life as she simply just not in love with this person anymore and wants to move on. Yeah, it’s a little catty but my god Anastacia sells this well and earn a deserved place not only this list but also on the ARIA year end singles chart for 2000.



So here we are at the final rock song to make this list and yeah…it’s a beautiful day to put U2 on a year-end best list.



3. “Beautiful Day” by U2

I honestly struggle to have the words to describe why I love this song with it’s verses where Bono’s vocals are restrained as he describes somebody who has lost almost everything but is still grateful for what he has left with that soaring chorus being that moment of release as he realizes that what he has left is worth loving and celebrating, it’s a song that takes you on a ride of emotions and feelings and while it may not have clicked for me when I was a thirteen year back in 2000, given everything that has happened this year, this song connects in so many ways that it’s quite potent stuff. Great work U2. 

In a year where boy bands dominated…it might surprise that there aren’t many on this year-end l top ten however one did make it courtesy of the Backstreet Boys… 

2. “Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely” by Backstreet Boys

The Backstreet Boys had two songs make the year end for 2000, one was this song and the other was “Shape of My Heart” (a song I like but don’t love) however “Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely” is just concentrated wonderful with it’s lush orchestral arrangement and melody that supports the bands harmonies that sell the utter loneliness that underpins the song.

The song deals with the immediate feelings of loneliness and loss that come in the wake of a painful breakup and the longing of being where this ex is and that feeling of a hole being left in the heart when the break up occurs and the production genuinely makes the boys sound as though they are alone and trying to grapple with life beyond the end of this relationship, the song does get to me a fair bit and yeah, it’s one of the best of the year. 

Before we get to our number one, how about five honourable mentions.

HM 1: “Don’t You Worry” by Madasun

This was the last cut I made and my god, it was painful because this song works for me, it’s a song where Madasun are moving on with their lives but the exes can’t so Madasun set these exes straight over a pretty solid R’n’B groove. 

HM 2: “I Should’ve Never Let You Go” by Bardot

I’ve always liked this song more so than “Poison” because for one thing it shows the group harmonizing something that always felt missing from “Poison” with its clunky production, the issues in the production are still there in “I Should’ve Never Let You Go” which kept it off the list proper but it’s still a good song.



HM 3: “Everything You Want” by Vertical Horizon

Okay, so this song didn’t make the ARIA year end list and if it had it would have knocked “S Club Party” out of the top ten at the very least had It have done but yeah this song is epic with its guitar and those vocals telling this girl that this other guy is everything that she could want but for some reason he doesn’t mean anything to her and she can’t figure out why before the switch up on the last chorus where it turns out that this guy is actually him who can’t work out why he means nothing to her, it’s quite the switch not quite done as well as “Marry Me” by Thomas Rhett but still good.



HM 4: “Absolutely Everybody’ by Vanessa Amorosi

So I’ll say this, “Absolutely Everybody” might be Vanessa Amorosi’s biggest hit but it’s not her best song, her debut song “Have A Look” and “Perfect” are still miles better than “Absolutely Everybody” but I can’t deny that there’s an incredible power and idealism to “Absolutely Everybody” that’s just enough to make it work.


HM 5: “Bye Bye Bye” by *NSync

This song might be one of the ‘cattier’ songs I have heard from a boy band but my god it’s catchy as the guy kicks this girl. who has been doing wrong to him, to the curb. The song is lyrically pretty ugly but hey it still somewhat works.



That is the honourable mentions done so what could possibly be topping this list? Well leave that to the pure shores’ girl group All Saints are roaming…



1. “Pure Shores” by All Saints

For the longest time this song wasn’t going to be my number one then much like “Beautiful Day” did, it clicked for me and I began to appreciate what an incredibly textured electronic production and melodic song it is. Written for the film “The Beach” starring Leonardo DiCaprio, “Pure Shores” is a song that describes finding that place you can relax and escape, sometimes that place can totally call for you even when finding that moment to relax feels totally lost….a feeling that has so often happened to me even 20 years after the song was released.

It’s haunting song that got plenty of well deserved praise at the time, All Saints would go on to release “Black Coffee” that didn’t quite achieve the same success as “Pure Shores” but both songs are classics in the All Saints discography with “Pure Shores” being the deserved best hit song of 2000.

Top Ten Worst Hit Songs of 2000

 So here we are at the end of another retro chart year and honestly, 2000 was a pretty good year...we got some classic hit songs and likely one hit wonders, the best stuff in 2000 was really good but today we're discussing the bottom of the barrel...the absolute worst that 2000 on the ARIA singles chart had to offer and for the most part most of the songs are from badly produced pop that hadn't aged well, r'n'b and hip hop that was either sleazy or hilariously badly written and even rock and country striking out and believe me, a few choices here will be controversial (there's at least three songs here I can think of that will piss people off)

Let's quickly go over the rules:

1. To make this list, the song has to have made the ARIA year end list for 2000

2. Being boring cannot be a factor, a song must annoy or irritate me in some form to make this list.

3. If a song made the 1999 year end list and peaked higher on the 2000 year end list than it's also eligible.

You got that? Good. Let us begin this list of bad with one question, Jennifer Lopez, what the fuck were you thinking?

10. “Let’s Get Loud” by Jennifer Lopez

As somebody who mostly can tolerate Jennifer Lopez, there’s a part of me that wants to be benevolent and leave this song off the list but I can’t, this song drives me up the wall every time I hear it…that repetitive chorus that borders on the line of being annoying to obnoxious, the gang vocals that seem louder than J Lo is in the mix with their omnipresent yelps of “Hey!” and the lyrics that try to turn music into a metaphor for an empowerment anthem…all I can say J Lo, is if I was wanting to get loud, I’d be turning up songs that are much better than this attempt at empowerment via annoyance.

Jennifer Lopez would go onto further success in the 2000s before her career really kind of sputtered out a bit and has reverted to releasing songs mostly in Spanish…doesn’t stop “Let’s Get Loud” from being annoying as all hell.

 

So you might remember that in my 1998 best list, I praised “The Boy is Mine” by Brandy and Monica, well just two years later there’s a song that goes in a similar direction and does it so completely wrong, it’s nearly hilarious.

 

9. “He Wasn’t Man Enough” by Toni Braxton

This song is just embarrassing from Toni Braxton, it paints her as this capricious catty diva who has just found out her man is married to another woman but instead of handling it with class by ending the relationship and just moving on herself, Braxton tries to interfere in his relationship with his wife by telling her she can have him because he wasn’t ‘man enugh’ for her but is just the man for this other woman like she knows what this other woman wants from a man and Braxton declaring that she has already ‘had’ this man is enough for me to turn this garbage off, it’s toxic in an unpleasant way and the production doesn’t even acknowledge the toxicity…it’s too bright and doesn’t sell the drama so yeah…pass…at least “Unbreak My Heart” is good.

Speaking of relationship songs…this next one goes the other way to a point of being so gooey, it’s positively rainbows and lollipops to an almost sickening degree.

 

8. “Amazed” by Lonestar

This song is the only ‘country’ (if you can call it that) song to make the year end list for 2000 and in a way I get the feeling this song was one of the reasons behind why we rarely ever see country music hit the top 50 of the ARIA charts anymore because wow, this song when not being cliched, is corny, sugary and gooey to the point of making me want to vomit.

Lyrically the song reminds me of how absurd “I don’t Wanna miss a thing” by Aerosmith was in singing about love from a year earlier except toeing a line between corny and ridiculous in the lyrical department while being completely bland in the instrumentation, for a start, “Every little thing that you do, Baby I’m amazed by you”…Dude, I am pretty sure not every little thing she does is amazing, unless she farts rainbows and releases unicorns into the toilet when she poops which is extremely unlikely however it’s an example of how cloying and over reaching the lyrics are.

Another example is he wants to spend the whole night in her eyes…I’m sure burning an imprint of you into this poor girl’s retinas is fucking impossible. This song is ewww in every which way..

 

Remember when I said the Spice Girls should have went their separate ways after “Viva Forever”? Well here is the proof of that…

 

7. “Holler” by Spice Girls

The Spice Girls decided to drop the pop that made them global superstars and go for a popular R’n’B aesthetic and “Holler” is an example of why it did not work, the Spice Girls were known for being boisterous and very in your face with cheeky colourful pop music that established the very different personalities of the women involved, “Holler’ not only is bland from an R’n’B perspective but strips away the personalities of the four remaining members of the band as they sing about wanting this guy to come into their world and play by their rules so they can make him scream and it honestly combined with the production, I don’t think the guy would at all be enticed.

Especially when we get to the middle act of the song where it’s the girls and this male voice spewing the word “Holler” and other nonsense, its actually really creepy to a degree and again defeats the purpose of this song’s attempt to be sexy and lure this guy into their world so he can “holler” for them.

It’s also worth pointing out that only Mel C and Mel B sound even vaguely close to good over that beat. Emma and Victoria just don’t fit…yeah…I’ll stick to “Stop” and “Say You’ll be There” for my Spice Girls fix

Well now we get into where electronic music got completely annoying….

 

6. “Freestyler” by Bomfunk MCs

This song was irritating the first time I heard it in 2000, now it’s irritating with a capital I, that sound of what might be a rooster having it’s balls wrenched off with no anaesthetic in the back of the mix and the fact the song instrumentation wise sounds like it just wants to be a knock off Fat Boy Slim who did this sort of sound better in the 90s with “Praise You” and “Weapon of Choice”… however “Freestyler” manages to incorporate the annoying elements through the song including gang vocals that sound like a person about to start dry retching into a toilet however it’s the vocals solidly kill this track, the lead vocals have no flow and are so smug they grate on every single nerve and that’s before you realize the song itself makes about as much sense as Donald Trump being US President.

By the way, the rooster having his balls wrenched off returns at the end of the song just to make my headache from this wall of noise even worse. Next.

Now we’re hitting proof that 2000 couldn’t escape the trends of the 90s…1996 had a myriad of covers, several of which made my year end worst list for that year, unfortunately we weren’t completely free of covers in 2000 and the only question that I need to ask Madonna is WHY?

5. “American Pie” by Madonna

I can argue that 2000 was a bad year for Madonna, sure she got two hits on the year end list…this being one, the other we’ll get to but this cover of Don McLean’s “American Pie” is here because she turned a song that is about the loss of innocence in music with the line “the day the music died” being about the 1959 plane crash that killed big popular music names of the time Buddy Holly, The Big Bopper and Ritchie Valens into this colourless albeit shortened slice of pop music that reduces Madonna to singing in a flat monotone for most of the song, she doesn’t sound good and takes away a lot of the texture and resonance of the original version by McLean.

Mercifully, we’ve all moved on from and forgotten about this awful cover, certainly don’t hear it played on the radio, but we’ve got more Madonna to deal with a bit later on this list, folks…stick around…

 

Remember when R’n’B songs about sex were sexy and had a recognisable groove…something this next act forgot…

 

4. “Thong Song” by Sisqo

This is a little lower on the list than I had thought it would be originally and that’s mostly because I find what’s in front of it intolerable but yeah “Thong Song” is a sleazy arse song that was approximately fourteen years ahead of its time with its unimaginative chorus and Sisqo sounding about as smooth as a car driving over humps in a shopping mall carpark which makes sense for a song about a woman’s arse…NOT!.

That said it’s not like he actually gets any sort of melody or rhythm to work with ditching the intro’s violin for the overuse of heavy percussion as Sisqo nasally goes on about a scandalous dress this woman is wearing and then uses the chorus to beg her to let him see her thong, it’s sleazy, leering and pretty god damn unpleasant to listen to so yeah…let’s quickly move on from this turd like the world moved on from this guy having a career…NEXT..

 

Rock on the ARIA singles chart was in a bit of a mess, depending on your definition of rock, we had Bon Jovi, Matchbox Twenty, U2 and these guys…

 

3. “Take a Look Around” by Limp Bizkit.

Oh dear god…Limp Bizkit were one of the worst bands of 2000 and this song is the perfect example of why. “Take a Look around” pairs a sample that basically sounds like the Mission Impossible theme and pair it with the bratty whiny rapping of Fred Durst who sounds buried in the mix on the verses, at least the guitars somewhat shred of a tolerable chorus when Durst isn’t trying to scream and really Durst is the one who just makes this song and Limp Bizkit’s presence on Australia’s music charts in the early part of the new millennium intolerable and I blame them, Creed and Nickelback for why rock has next to no presence on the charts in 2020.

 

2000 saw many female pop starlets hit the charts, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Billie Piper amongst others and for the most part their songs were good to objectively fine then Jessica Simpson showed up.

2. “I Think I’m in Love with You” by Jessica Simpson

Of the early 2000s female pop set, Jessica Simpson was one of the weakest, her first hit “I’m Gonna Love You Forever” is not good and only just barely missed the top ten proper but “I Think I’m I Love With You” just pisses me off wholesale. For one thing, why use a classic riff from John ‘Cougar’ Mellencamp’s 1980s classic “Jack & Diane” (a song I actually love) if all Jessica Simpson was just to coo and shout all over it? She hasn’t got the grit in her vocals to handle the sample, she hasn’t got the rock edge that say a Avril Lavigne would later have. For another, the lyrics are asinine, just because this guy looked her in the eyes does not mean he is reciprocating what she is feeling, making eye contact is part of how humans communicate nonverbally, Jessica!

This song is just lame and really given how Jessica Simpson would go on to have a brief period of prominence by playing the part of a stupid ditz on a terrible “reality TV” show, she’s mostly been forgotten but she left this turd with skidmarks as a memory of her time on the charts.

Before we discuss the worst hit song of 2000, lets race through some dishonourable mentions, shall we?

DHM 1: “B-Boys & Flygirls” by Bomfunk MCs

The follow up to “Freestyler” isn’t as bad but those vocals are absolute garbage, going for the cheesy sports announcer vocal style does not work for me at all.

 

DHM 2: “I Wanna Love You Forever” by Jessica Simpson

This is mediocre as hell and with overwrought lyrics like “ten thousand lifetimes together”. Jessica, we only have ONE lifetime, you are overplaying your hand with that lyric. Only got left off the list because “I Think I’m in Love with You” is considerably worse.

 

DHM 3: “Who Let the Dogs Out” by the Baha Men

Novelty song that has not aged as well as you’d like to remember it. Missed the list only because they really have not done too much lasting cultural damage other than occasionally being good for a joke or two.

 

DHM 4: “Jumpin’ Jumpin’” by Destiny’s Child

This is all a bit sleazy and questionable isn’t it? Girls and guys, leave your significant other to go to the club that’s jumpin’ jumpin’ for a night of presumably wild sex with another person and that production is just…no…

 

DHM 5: “Who the Hell Are You?” by Madison Avenue

Yeah…Madison Avenue’s 15 minutes of fame had hit their 13^th minute when this song hit number one. The production is a mess and Cheyne Coates can’t pull off sounding angry, she just sounds sleazy or like she’s had a long night at the club…

 

So what’s the number one worst hit song of 2000? For as much as “I Think I’m in Love with You” and “Take A Look Around” make me angry, it just wasn’t going to be anything else other than this affront to “Music”

1.       “Music” by Madonna.

This song is unlistenable and one of the worst hit songs of Madonna’s career, its not quite as bad as the dirge called “Bitch, I’m Madonna” she released in 2015 with Nicki Minaj but man it’s close. A song weirdly called “Music” that just sounds nothing close to being music and more like a group of people who came together to produce the world’s worst hearing test disguised as a song with it’s beeps and that clunky as hell vocoder noise.

Then we’ve got Madonna begging the DJ to put another record on because she wants to dance with her lover…let’s hope the DJ didn’t put this on because it’s not even vaguely close having a groove to dance to and Madonna’s assertion that music brings people together…well good music brings people together…not this absolute atrocity that was allowed to squat at number one for four weeks.

The worst part is that it all feels like Madonna made this in an attempt to compete with Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera who were making better pop music than this…I’ll stick to “Just Like a Peayer” and “Into the Groove”, thanks Madge and bestow the honour of the worst hit song of 2000 on “Music” Instead.