Top ten worst hit songs of 2018

We’ve reached the end of 2018 which means it’s time to sort out the crap from the great so let’s begin with handing the crap what they deserve…the top ten worst hit songs of 2018, now unlike last year where I had five dishonourable mentions, I won’t be doing that this year with the reason being most people move on and mostly forget the terrible stuff, heck I haven’t thought about the majority of my worst hits of 2017 list apart from the top 3.

Now for the most part I didn’t mind a lot of the songs that became hits this year on the ARIA charts however many disturbing trends showed up this year including the music industry reducing itself to grave robbery to ensure hits on the chart, some incredible laziness across rap and hip hop and pop songs that exacerbated a lot of pop music’s issues…all of which will be discussed here.

Here’s a reminder of the rules.

1.       
      Must have made ARIA’s end of year list.

2.      
         For a song to make this list, the song must have elements that are deeply annoying or even infuriating to land on this list. Being dull or overplayed on the radio is not enough to piss me off.

3.     
      No XXXtentacion or 6ix9ine will appear here because it’s just a given that both would appear here otherwise, yes, both made some pretty awful music but it’s not worth giving XXXtentacion’s music any attention given it’s now purely the music going down the path of grave robbery plus both are going to make everyone’s worst lists – after all “FEFE” by 6ix9ine and Nicki Minaj is a partial birth abortion masquerading as a song but these lists can get boring if we all put the same songs on them.

4.       
      This is my opinion only. My opinion shouldn’t stop you from enjoying the songs I write about here today.

Let’s get the show on the road with making something obvious, this song is crap. C-R-A-P, am I making myself cleafr

10. “Friends” by Marshmello and Anne Marie

We’re starting this list with a song that I admit to somewhat liking on first listen but after repeated listens soured on me quickly because I realized that this song was talking down to me as though I am some dumbarse who is expected to take this bottom feeding nonsense without questioning it. Anne-Marie has had enough of a guy trying to force a romantic relationship that she doesn’t want, and she lets him know by giving us all a lesson on how to spell the word ‘friends’. Geezus christ.

The song just comes across as incredibly juvenile and given it’s possible that the guy just isn’t over her yet it’s not the most mature way to tell him that she isn’t interested and only wants to friends. I nearly scream GROW UP at the radio when this song comes on, it’s that juvenile and petty, it’s ridiculous.

So while Anne-Marie and Marshmello were giving out spelling lessons, we were dealing with Post Malone’s brand of trap music.

9. “Psycho” by Post Malone feat. Ty Dolla $ign

It feels like there has been an influx of songs this year using the word “Psycho’ and unfortunately, we’re here to discuss a song that is pretty god damn awful. Post Malone’s whining vocals over a beat that doesn’t change or do anything apart from drone on and on. The lyrics are just about the usual things in trap music like cars, girls, his immense wealth and a ridiculous list of brand names that it would be considered farcical if he wasn’t getting paid for the endorsements during his songs and oh there’s a reference to domestic violence where Ty Dolla $ign mentions hitting a woman who wants to have his children…just charming.

This song was a NUMBER ONE hit for some ungodly reason.

So moving on from this mess of a song, we run straight into somebody who was ubiquitous in 2018, as if it wasn’t predictable, hello Drake.

8. “In My Feelings” by Drake

Ugh, in a year that featured entirely way too much bad Drake at number one than what is healthy with “God’s plan” being a nothing of a song, “I’m Upset” being terrible (it missed the list because I forgot about it until now) and “Nice for What” being saved by that Lauryn Hill sample , this was a sign that Drake had run out of ideas and boy, it showed here on this fragment of a song which features terrible production and only became a hit because of some ridiculous dance meme that was popular for a couple of weeks before sputtering out and this song collapsed like the dead weight it is and I want a long break from anything Drake related although with a Drake-Migos mixtape and another Drake album both apparently coming next year, I don’t hold hope that that break is coming any time soon.

You might remember that I mentioned Post Malone earlier, well in 2018, he became big enough to see wannabes arrive on the charts with the first being this painful imposter.

7. “Lucid Dreams” by Juice WRLD

I know people were more pissed off by “All Girls Are the Same” (quite rightly) for being an absolute turd of a song but this one was the one that became a hit for some unknown reason because this song is just a pure disgusting blame it on the woman bitchfest, JuiceWRLD complains that he can’t change the world he is with so he is going to have to replace her and also seems keen on not letting the girl move on with her life because he comes across like an obsessed stalker like manic.

His obsessive stalker type behaviour is over a beat that makes Post Malone’s music sound like what Britney Spears was singing in the late 90s. Ugh.

2018 was the year of pop artists going country and of the two, one of those songs got extremely popular for no good reason.

6. “The Middle” by Zedd feat. Maren Morris and Grey

I adore Maren Morris which makes it painful for me to put her on this list but I can’t lie, this song drove me up the wall with its mediocre production that it may as well have been a “Stay” rip off (I didn’t like Zedd’s “Stay” feat. Alessia Cara either by the way) with the ticking clock noise that permeates that song like it does this one. Also the lyrics don’t really even tell a story where Morris wants this guy to meet her in the middle but for some reason the guy wants no part of it, maybe in this case, it might be better for Morris to leave the guy the hell alone.

Speaking of alone…. There was a song doing it solo and doing it badly too.

5.“Solo” by Clean Bandit feat. Demi Lovato

I feel terrible putting Demi Lovato as she really isn’t the reason why this song is an awful slice of EDM pop, its actually the most juvenile song about sex that was released this year with it’s incredibly annoying “whoop whoop whoop1” to cover up swear words in the chorus underlining the issues that have been around in pop music for the last couple of years, not to mention the fact Demi has to sing through a ton of annoying chipmunk like sound effects that make the song. The entire production is extremely juvenile. Clean Bandit, you are so much better than this song.

For the mess of noise this song was, at least it didn’t suffer from laziness unlike….

4. “No Brainer” by DJ Khaled feat. Justin Bieber, Chance the Rapper and Quavo

Believe me, this isn’t the last example of laziness that we’ll get to but in 2018, DJ Khaled got to the point of self parody when he decided to go down the path of lazily reproducing “I’m the One” for 2018 by bringing back Justin Bieber, Chance the Rapper and Quavo, the only one missing from “I’m the One” part 1 is Lil Wayne because Lil Wayne completely lost the plot on part 1. Bieber may well be the best part in handling the hook but that’s not saying much when he delivers a completely unenthusiastic effort, Quavo drops a verse that can be heard on most Migos tracks on Culture II while Chance the Rapper delivers a verse that isn’t at all interesting, this song just reeks of non effort and laziness.

So after all that, what could possibly be worse?

3. “In My Mind” by Dynoro feat. Gigi D’Agostino

Oh god, I would love to know who the hell thought this drippy miserable song which features Gigi D’Agostino repetitively singing the same things repeatedly over this absolutely horrible beat beat that is impossible to dance to or even remotely groove to. Seriously, this song makes me question what happened to the fun in music because it’s not there in this song that’s for sure. Hopefully songs like this don’t chart in 2019 and what’s in my mind and in my head ain’t this song.

My number two pick won’t surprise anyone…well it shouldn’t as it will be on plenty of people’s worst hits lists…for good reason.

2. “Meant to Be” by Bebe Rexha and Florida Georgia Line

First question, what’s is the point of accrediting Bebe Rexha as the lead artist on this faux-country pop song (anyone who says its country should be handed the last Kacey Musgraves album so they can find out what real country music is) especially Florida Georgia Line sing on most of the song leaving Bebe Rexha to just one verse and chorus. Enough can be said about Bebe Rexha’s pathetic little girlish  sounding voice complaining that she has had enough of guys not treating her right placing her at the cross roads with the duo Florida Georgia Line, she’s giving them the signal to back off and leave her alone but Florida Georgiia Line want her to give into them, it’s just icky from a content standpoint when the Me Too movement is around…yeah,…yuck.

So that leaves just one song and I must say I changed my mind a zillion times over it but when I listened to this song again and yeah it had to land at the top of this list for good reason.

1       1. “I Love It” by Lil Pump and Kanye West

If you looked up the word ‘lazy’ in the dictionary this song would be the musical definition of the word, a song with half assed production involving trap and lyrics that alternate from being stupid to outright gross. Kanye’s verse is the most basic rap verse I have heard, it’s almost like he is trying hard to lower himself to Lil Pump’s level and as for Lil Pump, he handles the hook which basically insults the young woman and her boyfriend and repeating the line “I love It”

None of this song is remotely funny and it shows that Kanye really did do his best to lose any respect he did have. This song and a couple of others on this lit is music for those who appreciate music that appeases the lowest common denominator, it’s a whole new level of lazy garbage that I thought at least Kanye wasn’t capable of.

Let’s hope for better next year.