Top ten worst hit songs of 2010

In the lead up to making my end of the decade top ten best and worst hit songs of the 2010s and unfortunately we begin with what I consider to be one of the worst years for the ARIA charts this decade with the mainstream caught between music that blared loudly and obnoxiously from the club scene and those desperately trying to plug their ears and pretending that what was going on was not happening while making good to mediocre music so let’s begin with getting the trash out of the way first and begin with the worst hits of 2010…

Let’s begin this worst list with what was a predictable and unfortunate presence on the 2010-year end singles chart…The Black Eyed Peas.

10. “The Time (Dirty Bit)” by The Black Eyed Peas.

This may not be the only appearance the Peas make the worst list but this song is absolutely AWFUL beginning with the slaughtering of the chorus of Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes 1987 hit “I’ve Had the time of my life” before launching into this Skrillex inspired dubstep rap mess with vaguely party words from Will.i.am and Fergie  that it’s almost a relief when Will.i.am sings the chorus before it goes back into the dubstep style mess and oh interpolating Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. This isn’t the worst Black Eyed Peas song to make this list and we’ll get to it, but this can rot in hell.

Speaking of bad club music…thank god this stopped being a thing beyond 2010…

9. “Like A G6” by Far East Movement

There’s not much to be said for this. This is lazy filler made on a computer with a beat that sounds constipated and lyrics that make no sense whatsoever, seriously. “When sober girls around me they be actin like they drunk” doesn’t make any sense whatsoever. I won’t be putting my hands up for this song any time soon.

This next song would be kind of decent if I could ignore the one dumb line in the song…

8. “Firework” by Katy Perry

It’s mostly here for that one stupid line that kind of just blows my mind, the line that goes “Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?” for a song about somebody being akin to a firework? The line is ridiculous no matter which way you try to put it although given what else Katy released in 2010, its hardly surprising and no, I don’t feel like plastic bag.

So this young lady was the focal point of the club boom in 2010 and she might well appear on the top ten best list but we need to address this nonsense first…

7. “Blah Blah Blah” by Ke$ha feat. 3OH!3

Now in 2010, I wasn’t a fan of Ke$ha and for me this song was one the reasons why, it’s a lazy obnoxious song that kind of sounds like everything else around it and Ke$ha sounds like a little girl, it really is very irritating and 3OH!3 phone it in. All set to an instrumental that doesn’t change or evolve from sounding like somebody dialling on their phone with messy instrumentation all over the top of it…NEXT…

When I said there’d be more Black Eyed Peas…I meant it…

6. “Imma Be” by The Black Eyed Peas

Ugh. This song fails on the production alone with the watery sounding snaps and Will.I.Am repeating ‘Imma Be’ to incoherence and Fergie jumping into her laziest flow in a while bragging about how she’s going to sipping drinks because she’s shaking her hips then we get to the weak rhymes and oh god…gang vocals in the background before stepping up into this weird techno sounding thing with somebody playing random piano keys…because they can.

If you ever wanted to know why and how the Peas fell apart…this may well have been the start.

Speaking of Will.i.am though, his production messes weren’t just for his own band…

5. “OMG” by Usher

This song is just incoherent noise complete with the headache inducing gang vocals only stopping for Usher to say, “Oh My God”. Its really just a flat flimsy song that really should have just stayed in Usher and Will.i.Am’s private club as it’s not even fun to dance to or allow anyone to have a good time with its migraine inducing beat and given Will.i.am managed to turn this into a Black Eyed Peas sounding mess…I am not surprised.

Justin Bieber turned up in 2010 for better or worse but what I think has been forgotten is he appeared on this juvenile train wreck.

4. “Eenie Meanie” by Sean Kingston feat. Justin Bieber.

“Baby” by Justin Bieber won’t be making this list largely because he has to live with the embarrassment that song is but also because “Eenie Meanie’ represents so much worse because it comes across as abusive, maybe the girl is indecisive because she isn’t sure how to escape both Kingston and Bieber, who can blame her when the opening lyrics of the song “Eenie meenie miney mo. Catch a bad chick by her toe. If she holla (if, if, if, she hollas) let her go”

The word “Shawty” needed to stay in the 2000s. Just saying.

So yeah from juvenile to a song that tries to be sexy but manages to be the furthrest thing from it.

3. “Rude Boy” by Rihanna.

This song has been a staple of Australian radio especially in terms of the throwback hit and unfortunately this is Rihanna trying so hard to be sexy when the production is this limp synth and Rihanna barking over the top of it, if you want an example of how unsexy this song is and then Rihanna says she likes it when he pulls her hair which takes me completely out of the song. Just no.

I think this song has been castigated from pillar to post from everyone raking it over the coals so I am not sure how on earth I can add to it but it deserves to be here.

2. “Hey Soul Sister” by Train

So Pat Monahan’s song writing just doesn’t make sense whatsoever, lipstick on the front lobe of my left side brains and then referencing this girl being a game show love connection and being a virgin like Madonna and oh…Monahan is so obsessed with this girl that his heart is beating right out of his untrimmed chest which makes the song faintly icky all set to this weird washed melody from a ukulele of all things. Train would go on to some more forgettable garbage but you’ll have to wait for another worst list for that one.

So we’ve reached the peak of this list and when I scoured the list for this year, I came across a song that represented the most obnoxious of 2010 and when I said I’d mention 3OH!3 again…well here we are…

1. "My First Kiss" by 3OH!3 feat. Ke$ha 

1.  The fact that Ke$ha of all people is on this load of garbage is actively infuriating because the attitude of the members of 3OH!3 toward women in this song is disgusting and even worse they aren’t even attempting to play it comedically over a beat that wouldn’t be out of place in a primary school playground except without the vulgar lyrical content. Speaking of the lyrical content, its gross with male entitlement eg: “If I had it my way, you know that I’d make you say oooh” which just reeks of egotism, dudes, you aren’t all that, get over yourselves.