Ughh...fair warning folks, this week was not a good one in a lot of ways and there are two new entries that pissed me off, one I didn't expect to do that either and when I look at our top ten...it moved in ways that are somewhat depressing because we got a new number one this week..."Save the best for Last" by Vanessa Williams, yep, we now have a gaping hole of a bland sweet nothing of a song at number one even if its not a strong number as it got to the top mostly because it got enough sales
However right behind it is "Hazard" by Richard Marx which moved up to number two and looks set to take the number one next week if "Save the Best for Last" falters.
This pushed last week's number one "Jump" by Kriss Kross down two places to number three as its sales fell away but it remained ahead of "Too Funky" by George Michael and "Cry" by Lisa Edwards (I'm seriously shocked at how well this song is doing right now).
However all three songs are facing a challenge from...and I cannot believe this is happening..."Please Don't Go" by K.W.S which jumped nine places to slot into the top ten at number six, folks, we don't need anymore shitty covers of great songs on the year end list....JUST STOP already.
Hell, I'd even take "Clunk (EP)" by Frente doing better but it slipped one spot to number seven this week.
In better news, the beautiful "Heaven Knows" by Rick Price climbed four places to number eight pushing back "I Can Feel It" by Radio Freedom to number nine.
Finally the biggest loser of all the frantic shuffling was "Take It from Me" by Girlfriend as the former number one slipped from number seven to number ten.
Gains
So what else gained big this week outside of "Please Don't Go" by K.W.S?. Well, "Abba Esque" by Erasure jumped five places to 15 which is good however it brought "Beauty and the Beast" by Celine Dion and Peabo Bryson with it as broke into the top twenty surging from 23 to 18...why?
Then there's the questionable gains for "God Gave Rock n Roll to You II" by KISS which jumped ten places to 22...that's not a good sign. At least "Make Love Like A Man" by Def Leppard jumped from 39 to 24 this week.
"Just Take My heart" by Mr Big surged ten places to 27 bringing "She's Got that Vibe" by R.Kelly and Public Announcement up twelve places to 28 with it and I'm fine with the latter...the song is still pretty good.
Then we have songs rising off their debuts last week with "Love Is Holy" by Kim Wilde surging up from 45 to 29 and "I'll be There" by Mariah Carey rising eighteen to 30.
Losers
So there's good news here because "James Brown is Dead" slumped down from 34 to 49 and seems to be finally on the way out...good! See ya on the worst list.
Unfortunately "Fathers Day" by Weddings Parties Anything slumped six places to 47 while "Smells like Nirvana" by Weird Al Yankovic tumbled ten places to 44.
Former number one "Under the Bridge" by Red Hot Chili Peppers slipped from 27 to 43 while "Remedy" by The Black Crows needs a cure for its twenty place slide to 41.
"In the Closet" by Michel Jackson is heading further back into the closet on the charts as it fell ten to 40 while "Djapana (Sunset Dreaming)" by Yothu Yindi slipped twelve spots to 38.
"Midlife Crisis" by Faith No More is experiencing a mid charts crisis as it fell six to 37. "Even Flow" by Pearl Jam slumped from 29 to 36 and "Mistadobolina" by Del tha Funkee Homosapien slipped from 28 to 35
Euphoria took a ten place hit with their former number one "One in a Million" to 34 while "Man Alive" by Diesel slipped eight places to 33.
Finally Mr Big's former number one "To Be With You" skidded from 16 to 23...hopefully a sign that the song is on the way out
New Entries
Five new entries this week and unfortunately...we start with...
50. “This Used to be My Playground” by Madonna
So the queen of pop returns and I was curious about this what evolution Madonna would have in store this time after the smash she had in 1990 with “Vogue’ with “This Used to be my Playground” being the theme song for a comedy film called “A League of their Own” and well, if this song is a sign of what Madonna has planned for her fifth studio album than can I politely suggest that this is not it because this song is just painfully dull and not anything like the Madonna that was making some of the best pop music in mid to late 1980s and in 1990, the production is slow and flat and Madonna singing in a flat monotone that doesn’t suit her at all, this is dreary sludge in a year that’s already had way too much dreary sludge on the charts. NEXT!
42. “I Can’t Help Myself” by Teen Queens
After the inexplicable success of their still pretty terrible cover of “Be My Baby”, Teen Queens return with a cover of The Four Tops massive 1960s hit “I Can’t Help Myself” which is a Motown classic and beloved by so many so what do we get from Teen Queens cover? Well we certainly don’t get smooth happy vibes that the production gave the original, instead we get this jerky weird electro dance vibe that Teen Queens just don’t have the voices to match the energy of the song or the charisma to match the passion in the delivery, if you can’t help yourself than where’s the fucking desperation, Teen Queens? When Four Tops recorded this originally, there was passion and desperation when they sang they couldn’t help themselves but love this girl. Yeah this is get in the bin…NEXT!
31. “Perfect Place” by Voice of the Beehive
Alright so after the success of their cover of “I Think I Love You” earlier in the year, Voice of the Beehive are back with a new single and you know what? This is pretty good, yeah the vocals could afford to be a little louder but compared to the previous two songs this is really good and doesn’t blow absolute ass. I like the melody here and even if the lyrics play into this naïve idealism where they just want to try to make the world a better place even if at times it feels hopeless, yeah this is good, check it out!
25. “Sexy MF” by Prince and The New Power Generation
Prince has underwhelmed me so far in 1992 so with this song being the latest single from the album “Love Symbol” I was curious to see if the pace had stepped up a bit from “Diamonds & Pearls” and again I’m not all that impressed, yeah it’s got a solid groove but the rapping sounds really nasal and not at all fitting with the vibe the song going for especially when Prince croons “Sexy MF” (okay, mother f***er is not at all a sexy term but still) and all in all the track feels slow and plodding in a way that I cannot describe…this just doesn’t work for me…that’s all.
20. “I Don’t Care” by Shakespears Sister
So here’s the third single from “Hormonally Yours” and given the kind of week it is this week, I’m kind of hoping that this is good? Yeah I think it might be, it’s a fast paced pop/rock song anchored heavily in guitar even if I think the high pitched vocal delivery of “I don’t Care” doesn’t work as well as they might have hoped but hey I’ll still take this because it’s a damn solid song. Check it out if you are curious.
That wraps up an ordinary week on a better note, I’m going to give Voice of the Beehive best of the week for “Perfect Place” just ahead of “I Don’t Care” by Shakespears Sister. Neither song is great but they are still good enough.
As for the worst…I’m giving that to “This Used to be My Playground” by Madonna for being one hell of an unexpectedly dreary song coming from somebody like Madonna…there’s no excuse for that shlock but “I Can’t Help Myself” by Teen Queens is right behind me and is a song that I can see getting even worse.
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