Another year over, another year full of the ARIA singles chart and the hits and misses of the year, time to do a little summer cleaning and pore over the best and worst of the year. Now while 2021 was still a good year, ir was a step down from 2020 in terms of quality and it wasn't all that hard finding stuff that outright sucked that made ARIA's year end list for 2021 be it slog in pop rap, indie pop, pop country and even a couple of arists I like actually disappointing me this year however I will also say that the bad stuff sticks out in amongst all the good so let's get in, pick up the trash and dispose of it.
However before we go any further, a song can only make this list if it debuted on the year end chart for 2021 or peaked on the year end higher in 2021 than it did in 2020 so older songs like "Someone you Loved" by Lewis Capaldi and "Shape Of You" by Ed Sheeran that made year end lists in previous years are not eligible. Also I'll never put a song on a list like this for being boring...boring can be a factor but there's got to be something wrong with the song to make this list. Finally, this is my list, my opinion so please don't abuse me over what essentially is just my opinion.
Now all that is clear, let's get this shit show on the road starting with only four dishonourable mentions...
Dishonourable Mentions
"Rasputin" by Majestic x Boney M
The original wasn't good to begin with and this remix makes this song so much worse with the screeching of "Ra ra Rasputin"...ugh...next
"No Role Modelz" by J Cole
So apparently this qualified for the Australian year end for the first time in 2021 and my god, this leaves me with the feeling that J Cole is vastly over rated as a rapper because this song is ASININE and is only not making the top because of a rule where I don't put older songs in the top ten of a list of my best or worst hit songs however the lyrics are embarrassing....Martin Luther King would have been on Dreamville...geeez...I got better things to do with my time because this is not it.
"Traitor" by Olivia Rodrigo
Of the four songs Olivia Rodrigo lodged on the year end for 2021, this was the one I liked the least mostly because it felt like this childish jabbing in the tummy of her ex rather than her ahowing that she's not stooping down to his level and moving on with her life, sometimes the best revenge on an asshole is to move on and move forward, be better and don't lower yourself to that level which Olivia doesn't do here.
“The Business” by Tiesto
I get the appeal of the song, but I am sorry, the vocals
here don’t make this song anything close to attractive…I get that it’s meant to
be a song about getting down to business and getting serious but it’s the sort
of song that sounds completely miserable and feels like it belongs in a sewer
drain or worse. It’s probably one of the songs that just felt unpleasant to
listen to every time I tried to get into and enjoy it…it never happened.
Number Ten
So in 2017, Travis Scott had a sizeable hit with :Goosebumps" taking an uncredited Kendrick Lamar along for the ride...now i don't mind the original...just a shame I can't say the same of the house remix that came this year...
“Goosebumps” by HVME feat. Travis Scott
Welcome to the most unnecessary Spanish house remix of a
song to somehow become a hit in years, there was no need for this. Travis
Scott’s 2017 hit “Goosebumps” is a 2010s trap gem so what does producer HVME do
to it? Pitches Travis Scott down, percussion that makes the song sound like a
raging headache wrapped in a heroin wrap except only less deadly. All the
elements that made the original work are not here either, there’s no uncredited
Kendrick verse, nor is there the atmosphere or that guitar, it’s just a gutless
pointless remix that should have never even charted in the first place and the
fact this remix outcharted the original performed by Travis Scott and Kendrick
Lamar on the ARIA singles chart is just fucking depressing with the original
only peaking at 45, HVME’s version with Travis Scott on board got to number
5…ugh.
Number Nine
Speaking of pointless remixes that become very disappointing when you see the names attached to them...
“Cold Heart (PNAU Remix)” by Elton John and Dua Lipa
I really didn’t want to do this…I didn’t want to put two
acts I absolutely love on worst hit songs of 2021 list. Dua Lipa had one of the
best and most iconic pop albums of 2020, she has still been riding residual
success on the singles chart thanks to “Levitating”, she didn’t have to do this
however “Cold Heart” got enough overt radio play to make the song start to sour
on me and here it is. For one thing Dua Lipa supplies these thin, frail
sounding vocals singing a section of “Rocket Man (I think it’s Going to be a
Long Long Time)” and doesn’t sound like herself in between Elton John singing a
section of “Sacrifice” on a new song. PNAU’s production doesn’t help thanks to
the pile up of near constant strange noises, the only thing that works is the
groove, there’s just too much going on for the song to flow both in the
production and lyrically. It’s just a disjointed mess that hopefully will be
forgotten about long term
Number Eight
You know, if there was one artist who had a really good 2021, it would have to be Doja Cat...she was pretty much the dominant force on the charts for women in hip hop, it's just a shame that not every song released from Planet Her was good because in 2021, Doja Cat gave us this...
“Need To Know” by Doja Cat
Doja, you’ve done this sort of song before...it was one of
the biggest hits of 2020 and called “Say So” and even if the beat Dr Luke provided
for that song was washed out and not great however it was better than this trap
clunker. While I have gotten to a point where I can handle Doja’s harsher vocal
delivery, she just doesn’t sound good here at all where she’s wanting to know
if this guy will fuck her already. This is a sex song that’s not as sexy as
Doja Cat or anyone else involved with this song thinks it is, thankfully she did better in 2021 but this headache and a half wasn't it.
Number Seven
Speaking of headaches...it's time to talk about the winners of 2021's Eurovision Song Contest...
“Beggin’” by Maneskin
The first thing that should be stressed is that this is not
a cover of the original performed by Frankie Valli but rather a cover of the
version Madcon recorded in 2007 and in a year where Italian Eurovision winners
Maneskin burst onto the scene following their Eurovision win earlier this year
thanks to “ZItti e Buoni” but somehow instead of that song getting big, we got
this cover that become big and at first I was okay with the song but as time
went on, “Beggin’” just got worse thanks to one pivotal factor that being the lead
vocals which can best be described as a mix of crooner who forgot that warming
the throat up is an important part of being able to sing well and the sound of
somebody who is recovering from a serious bout of laryngitis and discovered he
can talk again, it isn’t tolerable. At least on songs like “Zitti e Buoni”, the
vocals sound pleasant enough but I just can’t with “Beggin’”...I’m sorry...the
radio gets turned every time the song comes on.
Number Six
So what cha all know about rolling down in the deep...not like this next bloke has much of a clue
“Astronaut in the Ocean” by Masked Wolf
Well, this is 2021’s obvious worst list target more because
the song tries to send a message about depression and anxiety but doesn’t tell
a story to make me feel anything for him and the fact he is talking down to the
audience on the hook where he manages to piss me off further by referencing
Adele’s incredible 2011 hit “Rolling in the Deep” whiile talking down to his
audience and the verses read more like him being the quintessential ‘nice guy’ and
later brags about his prowess in rap...I mean sure he has a decent flow but
that’s about it, he certainly doesn’t have the wordplay or charisma of others.
Oh yeah, the song wastes a pretty good guitar that introduced the song...NEXT.
Number Five
Lewis Capaldi took a break in 2021...thank goodness...but that didn't mean we weren't spared of British solo acts howling like banshees...here's proof of that...
“Little Bit of Love” by Tom Grennan
I have been aware of UK singer songwriter Tom Grennan for a while
and while there are songs from him I don’t mind like “Run in the Rain” or
“Barbed Wire” however “Little Bit of Love” is a pretty awful crossover into
commercial pop especially as Tom Grennan feels he has to haltingly shout the hook
in the most over the top manner that comes across as really unnecessary and unfortunately it's one where the Lewis Capaldi reference I made in introducing this song to the list because like on "Someone You Loved", the sentiments are so oversold and yowling they become distracting. Throw in the production that just feels like
its compromising Tom Grennan’s overall sound just to get him a cross over pop
hit and yeah...this was a dud the charts could have done without.
Number Four
Yeah, we were going to hit this point eventually but it's time to talk about The Kid Laroi on this list...
“Stay” by The Kid Laroi feat. Justin Bieber
The longer this stayed at number one on the ARIA singles
chart, the more it soured for me especially as I realized that ‘Stay” is
basically just Kid Laroi’s predecessor single (we’ll get to it) part two as the
Kid Laroi bleats that he wants this girl to stay even though she’s fed up with
his nonsense of getting drunk and wasted despite promising he’ll change which
triggers an inert Bieber verse although I will say he sounds better crooning
over the beat than The Kid Laroi does, Bieber basically sucks up to this poor
fed up woman about her being the reason he believes in love blah blah even
though it doesn’t even fit with the sentiment The Kid Laroi is expressing, it’s
just totally pathetic from the pair of them, why would she want to stay when
all The Kid Laroi seems to do is bleat, guilt trip and act like a baby? No woman who knows
her value would stay with a guy like this. As for the instrumentation…well yeah…it
sounds like an instrumental that can be inserted into most eighties leaning
modern pop songs, it's not all that special.
Number Three
You might be surprised as to how this song is so high on this list...well one of the artists on this song happens to be an artst I like and given most of what she has released this year was 'easy listening, fit for radio' junk, this one hurts to put here and I thought putting Dua Lipa and Elton John on this list hurt...
"One Too Many" by Keith Urban and Pink
Having heard a lot of Pink's past work for reasons that I can't go into right now but you'll see on the blog soon, I just couldn't reconcile the fact that the very same Pink who recorded songs like "Get the Party Started", "U + Ur Hand" and "So What" was now recording material for the easy listening meat grinder to gobble up and spit out the other side like this song with Keith Urban where Pink sounds like she has been stripped of all her personality next to country singer Keith Urban who also has about as much personality on this song as grandma's beige curtains from the 50s. is just devastating.
Yeah, you can argue that Pink is older and her earlier material isn't representative of who she is now but come on, she's better than this turgid pop slurry off a song that made nobody other than radio programmers happy that they had something to fit in between The Kid Laroi and Jason DeRulo.
Number Two
Well...it's time to cool these heat waves down to a sudden cold snap...
“Heat Waves” by Glass Animals
This is one of those songs where the awful is obvious, the
whole song sounds like a god damn mosquito or bee buzzing in your ear until you
flick it away or do what I did every time this song come on the radio...turn it
off. It’s not pleasant at all even the vocal delivery sounds like they are
being put to sleep by having sand thrown in their eyes by the Sandman in
children’s stories, it sounds so incredibly lethargic and drowsy sounding, it’s
literally the last song I would want to hear on the radio as I am starting my
day because of just how unpleasant it sounds, I am honestly surprised that it
somehow got Tik Tok virality causing it to become one of the biggest hits of
the year because of the mosquito buzzing in the ear sound it has.
It’s just one of those songs that has absolutely no use
regardless of the situation, the sound of the sound makes it hard for chilling
and the groove is too lethargic and slow to dance to, Almsot like they wanted
the song to be a trap song but didn’t have the tools to get it there.
So before we get to our rightful number one worst hit song of the year, let's blow through a few terrible songs that hit year ends overseas...let's call this segment...
Overseas Charting Noise Pollution
From the Billboard Hot 100...
"Fancy Like" by Walker Hayes.
I am not going to rant at length about how absolutely fucking terrible this song is and by now every critic has hauled this song over the coals for how absolutely rancid it is even if I get the gut feeling, it's the boost Walker Hayes flagging career needed to chart more dross on the Hot 100...just fuck everything....
"Good Time" by Niko Moon
At least Owl City and Carly Rae Jepsen didn't have to try to and have a good time when they recorded their ode to partying where as Niko Moon sounds like he is at the flattest party possible where the only beer left to drink is half a can that's been sittting in the all god damn day. What a limp and lethargic song this is.
From the UK Official Charts
"Black Magic" by Jonasu
I've heard this song on the radio once...that's the last time I want to hear this miserable turd again because geezus this is just a repetitive song that makes me want to throw my radio down the toilet.
"Out Out" by Joel Corry, Jax Jones and Charli XCX feat. Saweetie
Oh wow....this was a disappointing collab...too many people on the damn song for it to work well and as somebody who is looking forward to that Charli XCX album...the fact she was involved with this was the biggest disappointment of all.
From the Austrian charts
"Iko Iko" by Justin Wellington
A song that by now has been repeatedly covered and this newest version sounds like wallpaper and Justin Wellington's voice can't sell shit on a stick. Heard this song more than enough on the radio this year.
Well that takes care of that and now for the number one worst hit song of the year...
Number One
Yeah, there's no getting around this one, this song makes me angry much like "Intentions" by Justin Bieber feat. Quavo did and like that song, this one has been a consistent thorn in my side since it became a thing on the ARIA singles chart...and by now, given I have no interest in trolling those who read my cavalcades of nonsense, you should all know what the song is....
"Without You" by The Kid Laroi
Honestly, I don’t want to even put The Kid Laroi here but he
keeps making gummy guitar based songs like this where not even he sounds good
on it then it leaves me with no choice but to put ‘Without You” here however
it’s not even the production that’s the worst part of the song where Kid Laroi
himself sounds like he swallowed three packets of razor blades trying to sing
the hook before trying to howl his lungs out, to the point it makes Lewis Capaldi on "Someone You Loved" sound tolerable, the worst part of “Without You”
is the writing where apparently you can’t make a wife out of a hoe (what a way to talk about women, dude...not) and how the
song lacks so little context and feels like Kid Laroi is guilt tripping this
girl, it’s just an icky song that deserves the status of being the worst hit
song of 2021.
