ARIA New Entry Review: April 2024

So because this month is overloaded with new entries and this thing is beyond long, I decided to move like "Like That" by Future and Metro Boomin feat. Kendrick Lamar and the last week of April in with May ARIA singles new entry review so look out for that one...in the mean time enjoy the rest of the April reviews starting with...

"Too Sweet" by Hozier

Okay, Hozier back on tbe charts is a sjght to behold and even better "Too Sweet" is a damn great song! It has an incredible groove and swagger to it and Hozier is absolutely playing it up by saying this girl he is with is just too sweet for him. It reminds me a lot of INXS in some ways except Michael Hutchence would absolutely amp up the sex appeal a little more than Hozier does here but damn this song is too damn catcby and it's right there as one of the best songs on the charts right now. Check this out

"Obsessed" by Olivia Rodrigo

So this was the only song from the deluxe edition of "GUTS" to hit the ARIA singles chart which is a shame because all five new songs from that deluxe edition are really good to great and I consider "Obsessed" to fall into that great category! Olivia again shows a particular lack of dignity here where she's obsessed with everything to do with this guy's ex and how perfect this guy's ex is possibly from this guy still being in love with this girl because Olivia knows he is still in love with her. Combine the rather obsessive lyrics, the monster hook and instrumentation that knows how to kick it up a gear when necessary and you have one hell of a song! Check this out.

"I Like The Way You Kiss Me" by Artemas

So British singer songwriter and producer Artemas has hit the ARIA singles chart with this particular song and well...given the quality of the songs above it...I am not a fan, I don't know...it just feels oddly soulless which comes from the very 80s production which reminds me of A Flock of Seagulls in a way with the synths but yeah, I don't get much out of listening to this song. Next!    

"II Most Wanted by Beyonce and Miley Cyrus

So "Cowboy Carter" got a rather muted chart presence with this unsurprisngly being the biggest song to hit the chart from the release of the album and yeah, this song is absolutely beautiful. Beyonce calling in Miley for a role on this song makes so much sense given Miley's links to country and wow, they sound phenomenal together on a gentle guitar and piano ballad about friendship and being each other's shotgun rider til the day they die. It's in a battle for best of the month but it's right up there.

"Slow It Down" by Benson Boone

What is not right up there is this garbage, my god this sounds terrible, This is Benson Boone chasing a second hit in the wake of the shrieking disaster that is "Beautiful Things" and...ughhh...can we just stop making this guy a thing and give Ed Sheeran some more hits from "Equals"? "Tides" would be a better hit than this garbage.

"Magnetic" by Illit

Am I the only one surprised at the lack of K-pop cross overs this year? Well, Illit are a South Korean all girl group that emerge through a sub branch of HYBE and now they have their first ever charting song in Australia, just wish I didn't find the vocals kind of annoying, you've got this incredibly energetic production mixed with whiny vocals and it grated on my nerves especially as it feels like with lyrics about being attracted to someone, the vocals could have been less annoying...next!

"Belong Together" by Mark Ambor

So another American singer songwriter breaking through, this time Mark Ambor and well, this is better than Benson Boone...thank goodness but mostly because rather than being bad, its just forgettable...it's likely a cut that Ed Sheeran, Hozier or even Shaboozey could do better with

"If U Think I'm Pretty" by Artemas

Second go round with Artemas so lets see how we go with this song...and nope, this isn't good either with this just being this collection of grating noises that at least somebody like Finneas could make sound less annoying for Billie Eilish but nope this is just grating noise that Artemas is trying to sing over with all the personality of wallpaper. Next!

"Where the Wild Things Are" by Luke Combs

I am glad this at least got a week on the ARIA singles top 50 because this a damn great song and one of the best from Luke's album last year. Yeah, it's got the neo traditional country production of all the best Luke Combs songs but what strikes all the more power is the story Combs is telling the story of his brother who invited him along on these adventures motorbiking in California and partying while Luke admits that he is loving it but this, sadly the song reveals that Combs brother died in a motorbike accident however it is refreshing that the song doesn't wallow in the death but reflects and celebrates that motorbiking is what the brother loved doing and if that was the way he went out so be it. Great song.

"Back on 74" by Jungle

Well this was something of a surprise! Jungle are a British dance music project who have gotten a lot of critical attention in the past with this song being released last year getting some viral attention and yeah, this is pretty damn good! I love the melody and for once a dance song has an actual fucking groove. Just it's got a lot of competition for best of the month.

"Espresso" by Sabrina Carpenter

So this is the big Sabrina Carpenter single that seems to have gained a massive groundswell of traction with the publicand yeah, it's easy to hear why, the song has this retro and somewhat glossy sound that reminds me of "Say So" by Doja Cat and when the lyrics are basically her bragging about her being akin to an espresso for her new boyfriend. Its fine but like most coffees you'll eventually want something that quenches your thirst.

"Illusion" by Dua Lipa.

So I have liked the first two singles from Radical Optimism and I was hoping this would be another Dua Lipa home run and....it's not? I don't know I just don't feel anything from this song other than this queasiness that comes with the odd way Dua Lipa sings the word 'illusion'. Definitely not the song that I go back to from "Radical Optimism"

"Tell Ur Girlfriend" by Lay Bankz

Oh good lord, so Lay Bankz is an American rapper and singer hailing from Pbiladelphia, Pennsylvania with this song being her first to hit the ARIA singles chart and I hate saying this but I hated this song right from the outset...why? Because of that goddamn sample of "Pony" by Ginuwine where it sounds like a guy burping and it just distracts from the song entirely. This is pretty bloody awful.

"Hell 'n' Back" by Bakar

It's about damn time this turned up on the Australian singles chart! It was a hit in New Zealand in 2019 but never crossed over to Australia until 2024. Bakar is an English singer that has been quietly gaining traction in the UK and elsewhere, now it's charting in the top 50 in Australia thanks to a Summer Walker remix and no surprise given I was listening to this song pre the remix, it's a pretty great little R'n'B number where Bakar describes finding love and is now healing from a past where he was hitting rock bottom. Great song. Check this out1

Worst of the Month: "Slow It Down" by Benson Boone

Dishonourable Mention: "Tell Ur Girlfriend" by Lay Bankz

Honourable Mentions: "Hell 'N' Back" by Bakar feat. Summer Walker, "Obsessed" by Olivia Rodrigo

Best of the Week: "Too Sweet" by Hozier, "Where the Wild Things" are by Luke Combs.

The Super Short Top Ten Worst Hit songs of 2023

 I have decided to ditch doing a full on worst list for 2023, mostly because we've all moved on, I have no will power to revisit any of these crappy songs and most of the bad songs from 2023 will npt have any kind of staying power apart from a few unfortunate exceptions.

Before we briefly go tip diving, here's a reminder of the rules, a song can qualify for this list if it first appearedon the 2023 ARIA year end or was higher on the 2023 year end than it did on the 2022 year end, also this list is not definitive, it's just my opinion. 

10. "Flowers" by Miley Cyrus (I remember being so excited for this song's release, hearing a song that sounded so bland and cookie cutter and feeling disappointed, Miley, you are better than this, Bring back the "Plastic Hearts" Miley please)

9. "Players" by Coi Leray (Look, Coi Leray has got talent but like Miley, she wastes it on lazy sampling this time using an iconic 80s song from Grandmaster Flash with some pretty terrible lyrics about how girls do the exact same thing as guys,...come on...,it's just lame at this point, Coi)

8. "Green Green Grass"  by George Ezra (What on earth was this? A song aimed for Dulux colour chart ads, Bob Ross or Play School. This was a massive disappointment from George Ezra who I frankly expected better of than this shit).

7. "Popular" by The Weeknd feat. Playboi Carti and Madonna (The music from the Idol pretty much matches the TV show. None of the trio involved with this disaster of a song gives a good performance here, if anything it exposed how overexposed The Weeknd is).

6. "You Proof" by Morgan Wallen (Wow, this song sure sounds like what I would imagine a stomache virus would sound like. Not only is the song sour but Morgan Wallen sounds so fucking insufferably smug on this song that I want to throw things if the song didn't sound so damn lethargic)

5. "Let Go" by Central Cee (When you take a terrible 2013 Passenger song and make it worse and with this dude getting features on other mediocre rappers albums, we might not be rid of him. Just lovely...not)

4. "Daylight" by David Kushner (Okay so Australia wanted Hozier in 2023 but went for a bad rip off instead of anything from that Hozier album last year and now that Hozier is back, we have no need for anymore of these hacky rip offs)

3. "The Color Violet" by Tory Lanez (Well, this is awkward considering Tory Lanez is now serving prison time, Only wish people could get prison time for songs like this one that blow so much ass!)

2. "Rich Flex" by Drake and 21 Savage (Ugh, "Her Loss" is easily Drake's worst album to date and while "Rich Flex" is not the worst song on the album, it is emblematic of the issues with that album in that most of it hides behind misogyny and gunplay. It's pathetic, Drake, you are capable of better.)

The number one worst hit song of 2023:

"Last Night" by Morgan Wallen

This wasn't going to be my number one for awhile...it didn't feel like the hit song I hated the most in 2023 until I realized that "Last Night" is basically the tail end of Luke Bryan's "That's My Kind of Night"...drunken sloppy sex and all is remembered is car tail lights disappearing in the dust while all Wallen can remember is that he and this woman let the liquor talk last night in between the sex and presumable fighting.

What drives the song into the ground though is how utterly miserable this song is on an instrumental basis because this can barely be called country with that down tuned guitar and Wallen's whiny nasal vocals that make the song a completely niserable listening experience.

New Entry Review: March 2024

"Saturn" by SZA 

A brand new SZA single as a lead off to "LANA" and I was looking forward to this mostly because while SZA has never grabbed me with a full album, she does have songs that I adore (my 2023 best list will feature one such song) so how was "Saturn"?

Oh good lord, this is right up there as one of the best songs on the charts right now, I love how the song opens with what sounds like a merimba and SZA just sounds imcredible, The song is just incredibly easy to listen to and go back to. The lyrrics hit on feelings of feeling like everything is terrible and trying to find something better even if that something better requires SZA and her partner to leave and go to that other place so yeah this is fucking great!

?End of Beginning" by Djo

Ahh anorher viral TikTok song gaining traction to wind up on the charts, this song came out in late 2022 and after having heard it, I wish I was as impressed with this song as other people seem to be, the instrumental sounds great, the drums have a nice rbythm but why are the vocals so god damn buried under the instrumentation? It makes the song feel like it is missing a hook so no...this doesn't work for me at all. Next!

"Stumblin' In" by CYRIL

Oh no...just no. Not another one of these type of songs. A producer taking an old song and turning it into unrecognisable junk but quickly just to explain CYRIL is an Australian DJ and producer that got his big breakthrough with this thing and somehow this version of Suzi Quatro and Chris Norman's 1980 hit that at the time had some romantic charm to it but this new version? Nope, there is nothing romantic about this, it just reminds me of the time Kenny G played saxophone over Louis Armstrong's "What a Wonderful World" except Cyril brings in these keysand strings then proceeds tio make Quatro and Norman sound washed out as hell. Skip this!.

"We Can't Be Friends (Wait For Your Love) by Ariana Grande

Okay with "Yes, And?" looking like a dud lead single with every passing day, this is the song from Ariana Grande's new album that appears to have some legs on the charts and is sticking around even if I I would have preferred "Supernatural" to be the song from "Eternal Sunshine" that absolutely smashes the charts as this is pretty middle of the road for Ariana as in its not precisely bad. its just forgettable given its another pop song in the vein of how she can't be friends with this guy given she wants a relationship... it feels a bit dime a dozen, that's all.

"Whatever She Wants" by Bryson Tiller

Kind of surprised that Bryson Tiller of all people turned up on the ARIA singles chart with any kind of momentum especially as I have never really thought of him as being all that interesting in his lane of hip hop but none the less, this song did turn up so what did we get? It's fine...I don't hate it, Bryson Tiller can ride this beat pretty well and he seems all ready to buy whatever this woman wants be it the brand names etc, I just wish it didn't feel like it was more empty flexing to say he can spend all this money so easily but check this out if you are curious

"Austin" by Dasha

So with the onslaught of country on the ARIA top 50 singles chatt these days, it's interesting that we have a relative no name make her debut on the charts although I will admit calling Dasha country is a stretch but just quickly Dasha is from California and her song "Austin" went viral on Tik Tok (makes me wonder what people will do for music discovery when TikTok is banned and that appears to only be a matter of time) so what do I make of this?

Well it's another of those songs that I think is absolutely fine even if I think it feels a bit too cookie cutter for it's own good but Dasha has the vocals to sell this song well even if I do get some of the criticisms. Check it out if you are curious.

"Fri(end)s" by V

So members of BTS are continuing to chart solo jaunts while the band is on a break with several members doing their time in military service in South Korea, V being the one that can pull off a smooth and somewhat funky sound that really actually works, I say all this because I feel like this song goes away from what makes V's sound really work, it sounds kind of rough in a way that doesn't flatter V at all. Bit disappointing if I am going to be honest.

Worst of the Month: "Stumblin In" by Cyril

Dishonourable Mention: "Fri(end)s" by V

Honourable Mention: "Whatever She Wants" by Bryson Tiller

Best of the Month: "Saturn" by SZA

ARIA New Entry Review: February 2024

"Praise Jah in the Moonlight" by YG Marley

Gahh, I have been watching this song blow up around the world and was hoping it wouldn't in Australia but it charted so I guess I will have to talk about it so here we go. YG Marley is an American singer songwriter whose mother is Lauryn Hill of The Fugees and his grandfather is reggae pioneer and legend Bob Marley which is why it pains me to say that I do not like this song at all. 

The vocals just sound messy and YG Marley's vocals do nothing to sell me on the song, it just feels like it is underproduced to a very large degree especially with all the noises around Marley's vocals...yeah, I am avoiding this one.

"Murder On the Dancefloor (Triple J Like a Version)" by Royel Otis

Oh. how to explain this one, Royel Otis are an Australian guitar pop duo from Sydney with thiis being their first appearance on the ARIA singles chart with a cover of the recently viral early 2000s smash "Murder on the Dancefloor" by Sophie Ellis-Bextor and I just love this cover!. It sounds big and somewhat grandiose...it sounds like something I would have heard around 2005 or 2006 during the pop rock explosion that hit the charts than. The instrumrntal gives the song are sense of drama and scale. I dig it, good job Royel Otis.

"Texas Hold 'Em" by Beyoncè

When I heard that Beyonce was shifting toward country, I was cautiously curious, mostly because of the fact I knew that to some degree she likely did have some understanding of the genre given her upbringing but wary because of just how many acts in pop etc that have commodified country for a quick buck given how folk and country have become huge on the charts in recent years...that said Beyonce was raised in Texas and maybe an awareness of the country scene in Texas would be in built within this song.

Well yeah, this song blew me away when I first heard it almost to the point where I thought that maybe I am too easily impressed  with this sort of thing, put simply this song is a hoedown that is made for line dancing with that stomp clap rhythm and Beyonce showing she can still get down and have fun so yeah, this is easily one of the best songs to chart in 2024 and easily better than anything on Renaissance.

"Training Season" by Dua Lipa

Okay so with the album name and release date now set, we've got the follow up single and while its not quite as good as "Houdini", its still pretty, I do think the repetitive nature of the intro will absolutely annoy some people and it does make me hungry for pizza...lol. What stands out here though are the lyrics where Dua Lipa makes it clear that she is done teaching men how to treat her right and that from now on she will expect a man to know how to treat her right from the get go. Good song that just isn't quite great yet.

"Home" by Good Neighbours

So am I the only one who just started singing the Neighbours theme song upon seeing the name of this UK duo? It did make me laugh a bit and it made me feel better in saying that this song is absolute junk. Seriously whats with the strangely tinny vocals and the cold sterile production that doesn't give me the feeling of being home but rather at a hospital or in a prison. Screw this song!

Worst of the Month: "Home" by Good Neighbours

Best of the Month: "Texas Hold 'em" by Beyonce 

 

ARIA Singles New Entry Review: January 2024

"LeaveMeAlone" by Fred Again....& Baby Keem

So we're starting the new chart year with some Fred Again, this time he is teaming up with US rapper Baby Keem and we'll...I am not sure....I like the instrumental here with the piano and that driving bass groove but what stops me from digging the song is the vocal production that makes Baby Keem sound like he is in a blender or something! It's not precisely bad and there is MUCH worse here.

"One of the Girls" by The Weeknd feat. JENNIE and Lily Rose Depp

Can we all just forget that The Idol existed? The show was terrible and frankly, the music from the soundtrack ain't that much better with this being a case in point, the sterile production as The Weeknd croons about breaking a girl's skin and how he lovesit when she's submissive before a hook where Lily Rose Depp sings that there's no need for love...she just wants to be one of The Weeknd's girls....yuck...this is just toxically icky in so many ways....gross... next song please!

"Yes, And?" by Ariana Grande

So after four years, Ariana Grande returns with the lead single from her upcoming new album Eternal Sunshine which features an interpolation of Madonna's 1990 classic "Vogue" and...Rrally, Ariana? If a snap back at the critics is the best you can do for lead single where she cannot convincingly sell any genuine anger or give the production any sense of bite or menace is the best you can do than I am worried for this upcoming album, it's just another gummy dance pop song that coming from Ariana is really disappointing and a waste of a potentially great interpolation.

"Redrum" by 21 Savage

I don't think this is a hot take but I think 21 Savage is better on his own than when he collaborates with Drake etc, give him some good Metro Boomin' production and he can go OFF when he doesn't have to share that space so with this song being from his latest album American Dream I was hoping that we might have a decent song here...and yeah, 21 Savage does sound menacing as all hell with that vocal delivery and that outro just slaps! Ovetall good song...unlike...

"Thinkin' About Me" by Morgan Wallen

Why, of all the fucking Morgan Wallen songs to chart in 2024, did it have to be the absolute worst song that Wallen has ever made? The lyrics are basically that Wallen can't let go of his EX girlfriend to the point where he is wondering whether or not she is thinking about him while she's with a guy that's not him...its just pathetic...made worse by production that sounds so lifeless and downtuned, its a slog of a song to sit through...ughh.

"Beautiful  Things" by Benson Boone

Ugghhh, we're really going to give this dude another hit...come onnn, seriously? This one might be worse given it gives me "Won't Give Up" by Jason Mraz vibes in the lyrics. Cute this ain't...next!

"Feather" by Sabrina Carpenter

Sabrina Carpenter is back and thankfully with a song that is a lot better than "Nonsense" but mostly because it sounds like an at home version of a sound Dua Lipa did better in 2020 on Future Nostalgia! It's not terrible by any stretch of the imagination but it's pretty forgettable.

"Never Lose Me" by Flo Milli

A chart break through, this time it's US R&B act Flo Milli and...I have to be honest here...this feels more like a fragment of a song and not a particularly  interesting or good one especially with that synth line that's not as interesting as Flo Milli's production team think it is.

"Saving Up" by Dom Dolla

Been awhile since we had an Australian hit and we've got it through Dom Dolla. I like this but holy shit, the vocals kind of annoy me,they sound kind of squawky and annoying but given everything else...I'll take it.

"Scared To Start" by Michael Marcagi

My goodness, are the new upcoming male singer/songwriters annoying or what? This song sounds like something Passenger wrote in 2013. I'll rant more about this song at the end of the year.

Worst: "Thinking About Me" by Morgan Wallen

Dishonourable Mention: "Scared To Start" by Michael Marcagi

Honourable Mention: "Saving Up" by Dom Dolla

Best: "Redrum" by 21 Savage

New Entry Review: April 2023

"Eyes Closed" by Ed Sheeran

The lead single from Ed Sheeran's new album "Subtract" and wow... this feels like a label concession from the weird percussion, Sheeran's vocals that sound raw in a really kind of unpleasant way even if its a nod to a recently passed friend. This is definitely one to please the label as Ed is capable of better.

"Like Crazy" by Jimin

This got enough sales to debut on top of the Billboard Hot 100 and yet I am not sure why, it feels like a song The Weeknd did better in 2021/22..."Take My Breath" etc. It doesn't feel anywhere as distinctive or memorable as it should probably be. One for the hardcore BTS fans

"5 Leaf Clover" by Luke Combs

It did make me laugh that this song was released on St Patricks Day but god damn, I stopped laughing when I realized that this song is damn great, warm organic fiddle that sounds great and Luke Combs singing about how he is so lucky to have great family and friends along with an incredible career that he feels like he somehow jagged a five leaf clover. Damn great song!

"Growin' Up and Getting Old" by Luke Combs

The second of three Luke Combs songs, this was the lead single and really of the singles released from "Gettin' Old", this is the one that I care about the least of the Luke Combs singles mostly because it feels pretty stock Luke Combs. Its fine but its not anything I go back to from "Gettin' Old"

"Fast Car" by Luke Combs

Ahh... so Luke Combs finally put out a studio version of his cover of the Tracy Chapman classic "Fast Car", a cover that has been a staple of Luke's concerts for years and is a fan favourite and yeah, I completely  understand why, Combs doesn't change much here except to give the instrumentation a warm, organic country feel and Comb's gruff voice singing about the girl working at a convenience store with dreams of moving and breaking the endemic cycle of alcoholism and poverty, she watched her parents divorce and desperately wants to begin again somewhere new and do better. Is it better than the original? ABSOLUTELY NOT. Nothing beats Tracy Chapman. Is it one of the best hits of this year? Uh...yeah! You'll be seeing this on my best list in January!

"Cupid" by FiftyFifty

Okay so FiftyFifty are a K-Pop act that made a sudden breakthrough this year and yeah....this is really adorable, this song has made me smile a lot, it's probably one of the best pop songs of the year. She gave a second chance to Cupid so if you have been  ignoring this song...give it a second chance, it deserves it.

"Flower" by Jisoo

Oh more k-pop courtesy of Blackpink's Jisoo going solo aaannnnd I barely remember it. I don't know, it just feels more forgettable than outright good or bad. I just wish the song was more distinct...that's all.

"Dogtooth" by Tyler The Creator

Hey...its Tyler back with a song from "Call Me if You Get Lost: The Estate Sale" and while I think it's good with that guitar line and Tyler rapping his ass off, I just wish there was more swell or more of a change up here to keep me interested.

"Rock and a Hard Place" by Bailey Zimmerman

Well, I was not expecting Bailey Zimmerman of all people to cross over, although he is an American country rock act and given the year country is having with sustained success for both Morgan Wallen and Luke Combs I should not be as surprised as I am. Anyway, how is the song? Well, its pretty solid, the lyrics still fret over a relationship gone sour and that can be something that puts people off but ehh, I'll take it.

"People" by Libianca

Ahh the last song before we dive headfirst into a musical garbage compacter (you'll see), this song is this absolutely beautiful afrobeat song where Libianca just wants people to check in on her and pay a little attention to her occasionally. Yeah, this hits hard...terrific song.

"Search & Rescue" by Drake

Lets cut to the chase here, this is easily the most embarrassing song Drake has released since 2018's "I'm Upset".  Never mind he apparently needs a mami to rescue him but the mixing is also absolute dross. Its also very telling that this was left off his new album. 

"Slut Me Out" by NLE Choppa

Oh gawd...Australia, we didn't need to chart a song where NLE Choppa is apparently on enough of a vegan kick to want a girl to "chickpea" him and her to put her butt in his face til he gets pink eye. Yeah, this might be more embarrassing than the previous song.

"Daylight" by David Kushner

Guys, Hozier returned this year, we could have had anything from that last Hozier album over this pale Christian facsimile of a song...expect this to cop a mention on my worst list.

"Chemical" by Post Malone

Uhh...something that doesn't suck? Yeah, I dig this lead single from Post Malone, its got this driving groove under it and bright production thats an unsettling contrast to Post Malone's lyrics where he is dependent on drugs or this bad relationship where its pretty obvious things are at best explosive. I like it, its a good bounce back from Posty.

"Never Felt So Alone" by Labrinth

This song is pretty much saved from being bad because an uncredited Billie Eilish shows up to give this song more weight than it deserves. Otherwise with all the issues it has, I'm skipping it.

Worst of the Month: "Search and Rescue" by Drake

Dishonourable Mention: Tie between "Slut Me Out by NLE Choppa and "Daylight" by David Kushner

Honourable Mention: "Love You Anyway" by Luke Combs and "Chemical"  by Post Malone

Best of the Week: Another tie "Fast Car" by Luke Combs and "People" by Libianca

New Entry Review: March 2023

"Painting Pictures" by Superstar Pride

This is one of those songs that I feel l should care about more than I actually do. Superstar Pride is an American rapper and songwritter  who somehow managed to get this song to chart and well, this doesn't leave me much to say, he does have a decent flow  even if the lyrics really aren't anything spectacular so more often than not I'll leave this.

"Heaven" by Niall Horan

Waahhhheeeeyyyy, its nice to see Niall Horan back on the chart after the pandemic ruined the release of his excellent sophomore album "Heartbreak Weather" ("Nice to Meet Ya" deserved to be a hit...come on), this time with the lead single of his upcoming third album called "The Show" and I wish I liked this more than I do, the production ia as jarring as hell in the beginning with the "Ahhhhhh" and Niall singing in this weirdly forced sounding country twang, what does save the song is that is has some decent swagger, I don't hate it but I definitely don't love it and honestly considering Niall's past releases as a solo artist...that's disappointing.

"Rhyme Dust" by MK and Dom Dolla

Now for something that is a bit out of my lane here. MK is an  American DJ who teamed up with Australian house music producer Dom Dolla for this song which has apparently got quite a few fans because at the behest of those fans, this became a single and...I kind of like this? Yeah, it needs some fleshing out but I like how much energy the song has and that bass groove is doing slome serious heavy lifting. This is worth checking out if you are curious

"Ceilings" by Lizzy McAlpine

I feel like I have been aware of Lizzy McAlpine for awhile or at least long before she had a charting presence thanks to this song going viral on TikTok. "Ceilings" comes from McAlpine's 2022 album "5 Seconds Flat" and look, this is good but its midtier from that album, the sparse acoustic guitar and Lizzy McAlpine reminiscing on a past relationship. The song definitely does hit and is better then a majority of the songs here this month, check it out.

"River" by Miley Cyrus

I am not a fan of Miley's newest album, its sloppily produced and diverts back to bad pop and disco complete with some really poor writing but I will say this song about orgasms or as Miley herself so eloquently calls it "cumming" even if the production is going for a weird nightclub vibe that make the lyrics of the song lyrics feel a little sleazy but hey the hook is at least memorable so I guess it gets a pass. Oh and by the way, Miley, men do not jizz rivers....could be worse....could be Fifth Harmony's "Work From Home" where apparently the guy is such a sex god that he can jizz an entire ocean. Ehh.

"All Of The Girls You Loved Before" by Taylor Swift

Oh, a song off the cutting room floor from "Lover" where you can absolutely tell why it did not make the cut for "Lover", Taylor sounds like she's phoning it in with her flat vocal delivery and the weirdly sparse production...its fine but I am not going to remember this in a month. 

"Miracle" by Calvin Harris and Ellie Goulding

It feels like we get at least one Calvin Harris and Ellie Goulding collaboration at least once every couple of years however this might be the best thing they have done together in a awhile or possibly ever. "Miracle" goes closer to 90s trance and closer that decade's big beat dance music and Ellie Goulding sounds at her ethereal best... yeah, the lyrics are a little cliche but when its all about finding a miracle aka love on the dancefloor, hell, I'll take it and I'll take this song!

"You Proof" by Morgan Wallen

I need something Morgan Wallen proof. Seriously this is the first draft of "Last Night" that only sounds good after you've consumed a tonne of alcohol, it just sounds really lethargic and seedy especially when Wallen croons on the hook like he is busting for a trip to the toilet. The guitars sound sludgy and textureless...yeah, more Luke Combs, less Morgan Wallen please.

"Mother" by Meghan Trainor

Oh look, a song from the deluxe edition of that Meghan Trainor album that everyone forgot about and lets make no bones about it...this is utter garbage that not even a sample of "Mr Sandman" by The Chordettes can save it, the title of this nightmare fuel has become queer slang which you know Trainor doesn't get at all and then there' the lyrics where she calls her child a "bum" with all the flair and cadence of fucking Sam Hunt on "Drinkin' Too Much" in 2017. Absolute trash and a contender for the worst song of the year across any genre.

Worst of the Month: Mother by Meghan Trainor (duh)

Dishonourable Mention: You Proof by Morgan Wallen

Honourable Mention: Ceilings by Lizzy McAlpine

Best of the Month: "Miracle" by Calvin Harris and Ellie Goulding