Top Ten Worst Hit Songs of 1989

 Ahh yes, the time has come to peruse the best and worst that 1989's pop music had to offer and to make those top ten lists although for me making this worst list felt really difficult as there just weren't that many songs that outright pissed me off as I generally liked a lot of what we got in 1989 pop music wise which basically puts me at odds with most critics who say 1989 was a baaad year for the charts however what did wind up on my worst list....whooo boy... it just stunk to high hell mostly in saccharine, clingy pop that I imagine even love song dedications radio DJs would be faintly embarrassed to play in 2022.

Regardless, here's the rules for this list, for songs to wind up here, they must debut on the ARIA year end chart for 1989 OR chart on the 1989 year end higher than it did on the 1988 year end. Also no dishonourable mentions as there just weren't enough worthy of ire, "Stop" by Sam Brown is just mediocre and really not worth hanging shit on.

So you got that? Good, now lets dump some musical garbage out at sea, beginning with...

Number Ten

If you have seen my worst hit songs lists then you will know just how much shitty cover versions piss me off, there's three covers that will make this list and we're beginning with a song that tells a year's old tale.... just a shame the late 80s had to turn it into a mess...

10. "Iko Iko" by The Belle Stars

I wish artists would understand the history of the song they are covering before they go into a studio and turn it into a clusterfuck like The Belle Stars did with "Iko Iko". The song originally written and recorded in 1953 under another title "Jock-a-mo" by James 'Sugar Boy' Crawford and his Cane Cutters and then changed to the more famous title in 1965 when The Dixie Cups made it a hit. The song tells the story of a parade collision between two Indian Mardi Gras tribes and the traditional confrontation between the tribes in New Orleans so what we needed in 1989 was The Belle Stars version being this heavy drums and pretty much noise that drowns out the vocals and oh God, I feel a splitting headache coming on. The worst part is that I doubt they even understand what the effing song is even about! Ugh...

Number Nine

Say what you want about "Iko Iko", there's much worse like this wretched effort from this one hit wonder that did not ring my bell at all...

"Ring My Bell" by Collette

I may not really like Anita Ward's original "Ring My Bell" but I would take it over this overproduced train wreck of a cover from New Zealand born Aussie Collette, the song is a disaster right out of the God damn gate with what sounds like a tennis player grunting or somebody having sex...take your pick and Collette's nasal voice delivery the verses like she's in the last stages of a violent head cold!. The backing vocals are badly placed and the wail of "You can ring my bell" just gets fucking annoying. I'm only ever going to ring the bell to place it on this worst list.

Number Eight

The fact this is only number eight on this list kind of stuns me considering just how much this pisses me off. Folks, this is how you should not take a classic Carole King song and turn it into monogenre garbage.

"I Feel the Earth Move" by Martika

1989 was the year of Martika, she had two songs make the year end for 1989 with her biggest hit being "Toy Soldiers" which, I guess, is fine compared to this disaster of a cover of a really sweet Carole King love song, let's start with the fact Martika yells "I. FEEL. THE. EARTH. MOVEUNDERMYFEET" which honestly rips out the charm and soul of King's original. Oh let's not forget that the piano was replaced by tired synths and whatever the hell the rest of this is, it's clunky and paired with Martika yelling, it is a headache of a cover...Carole King deserves better.

Number Seven 

So Neighbours had spawned several singers by this time... Stefan Dennis, Kylie Minogue and this next guy on this list and if there is one thing I hate in a love song, it's the protagonist being overtly clingy or weepy when their partner wants to leave them...

"Too Many Broken Hearts" by Jason Donavan

Let's get the first thing annoys me about this song out of the way for a guy who doesn't want this girl leave him, Donavan sounds emotionless like singing this hacked out plea for this girl to not leave him is just something to do...that said, it does have the feel of being  a Rick Astley left over that even he likely thought was bad. The music is pretty stock late 80s fare, piano, washed orfut synths and drums apart from that guitar at the beginning but the reason this song is here is because of the lyrics where she wants out of the relationship but Donavan can't let her go because he needs her body and soul and because there's too many broken hearts in the world, he is going to either fight for her to stay which is just....ugh...maybe she's had enough of being the adult in this relationship while v throw toddler tantrums and cling to her ankles like chewing gum on a shoe, Jason? Ughh, this song is just ripe with gross clingyness that it weird me out however there's another song that dips into clingy territory and is worse than this later on this list but this is still terrible.

Number Six

So I really struggled with where to place this song, I've hated it for years and it's revival in a car as where kids sang didn't help me feel anything but a deep burning desire to yell "FUCKING SAIL AWAY ALREADY, DAMN IT!" and now I have said that, you know what this it.

"Orinoco Flow" by Enya

I wish I understood the appeal of songs like this, mumbled singing until the singer, in this case, Enya squawks out "Sail away" repeatedly for a hook until your ears bleed and you realize 70s yacht rock is better than this. Yeah, give me Kenny Loggins and any of the yacht rock set over this boring chore of a song that yes, it sounds pretty but really it's also pretty much the kind of adult alternative junk that easy listening stations play to the annoyance of everyone listening. Also just the phrase 'Orinoco Flow" makes me think of toilets....flush away, flush away...

Number Five

You know, even despite how high this is, I'm not as angry at this as I am at songs lower on this list... time can manufacture distance from the song and the fact the duo didn't actually record it does dilute the anger however that doesn't stop the song from being here...

"Baby, Don't Forget My Number" by Milli Vanilli

So let's forget for the moment that Milli Vanilli didn't actually record this, they just lip synced for the public but just how clunky this whole mess is. The rapping sounds stilted, have no genuine flow and at the end, he sounds like he is asking a question rather than being firm in being there for this girl. Also has anyone associated with this mess heard of some actual drums and instrumentation that doesn't sound so watery,it literally sounds like they released the bloody demo! Thisisone of the music industry's most amateur moments ever and for somebody to have green lit this...ughhh.

Number Four

Okay, l'm not going to waste time, time to answer the central question of this song.

"Where Did I Go Wrong?" by UB40

Okay so the conceit of this song is this guy wondering what he did for his girlfriend to want to up and leave him...well maybe confront the major issues with this song like that incredibly annoying flute loop and the song lyrically makes the guy sound as clingy as Jason fucking Donavan, the song describes her as sounding completely done with the relationship so why are you whining about her being gone for good when it's likely she wants rid of your toxic ass...let her go, stop being toxic and stop making bad songs! 

Let's not talk about UB40's godawful early 90s Elvis cover... we'll pretend that never happened, okay?

Number Three

Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take ya...just not on the back of this nightmare fuel...

"Kokomo" by The Beach Boys

The Beach Boys, one of the most influential bands of the 60s outside of The Beatles, returned in 1989 with possibly their worst song since "Barbara Ann" aka "Barbar the Ants" and holy hell, instead of driving down a woman's body like her body is back road like Sam Hunt in 2017 ("Body Like A Back Road" is still fucking repulsive), the Beach Boys want to fly the 'pretty mama" to Aruba, Jamaica, Bermuda, Bahama (They dropped the 's' off Bahamas to make the already stinky lyrics work) and not forgetting Key Largo (Bertie Higgins already did that, guys!) and Montego before randomly settling on Kokomo and suggest having sex on the beach and fall in love which is doing it ass backwards, you are supposed to fall in love before plugging your dick into her soon to be sand filled pussy pussy but hey the song does say they'll take it fast before taking it slow....NONE OF THIS MAKES SEX ON THE BEACH ATTRACTIVE OR SAND IN THE PUSSY APPEALING.

Throw in the washed out and lazy music, sleazy vocal delivery and you have a very unattractive music advert for sex on the beach in years.

Number Two

Not much needs to be said here other than ask why did Bette Midler record cats fighting in a bag and release it as a single?

"Wind Beneath My Wings" by Bette Midler

Oh God, just whhyyy? I know funerals need their music too but if this song was meant to be uplifting or inspiring....it doesn't work. IBette Midler literally opens the song belittling the person she's talking to by singing "It must have been cold there in my shadow" before launching into this cornball chorus where with person's help she can fly high than an eagle (she also used the eagle reference in 1991's "From A Distance" which is also a bad song that is right up there for worst of 1991) over a bland piano which has about as much texture as runny baby poo except you'd swear they are trying to make this saccharine blandness sound appealing...until it gets to the breakdown and the cry of "Fly " over and over leaves the distinct feeling that innocent cats are in a bag fighting in a bland song about somebody being a hero ... My final words for this are: RELEASE THE CATS FROM THE BAG!

Number One

So after all that, what could possibly be the worst hit song of 1989? Well let's go back to one of the themes of this list, clingy men not being able to let go and talk it over in bed with Grayson Hugh...

"Talk It Over" by Grayson Hugh.

So this wasn't going to be my number one at first, I thought the song was kind of bad, this weird attempt at late 80s downtuned Motown that would have seen this place low on this list but it was a closer listen to Grayson Hugh's braying delivery and the lyrics that shot this right to the top because....woooow,  he has obviously cheated or done something to upset this girl and now he is pathetically trying to beg her not to do what she probably should and leave this thinking with his dick toxic douchebag by means by gaslighting (the "I can tell you still want me" line is such blatant gaslighting, it ought to be illegal) and asking her if they can "talk it over in bed". Dude, she wants to be done with you, the last thing she wants with you is sexy time...no amount of sex will fix your failing relationship if she has her bags packed to leave, you literally only want her in your bed in the hope your dick can make her forget that you were an asshole to her

This song made me feel ill every time I heard it, from the lyrics to the high pitched female backing vocals who can't harmonise, Hugh's abrasive braying and music that pretty much represents everything that was wrong with music in 1989.

"Talk It Over" by Grayson Hugh is the worst hit song of 1989. Stay tuned for the best list!

ARIA Singles Top 50 new entries special: October

 "Romantic Homicide" by D4VD

Well, it appears we are starting October on a pretty shitty note with this slice of lame indie drudge from American rapper D4vd (pronounced David) that got Tik Tok virality to notch a slot on the chart and quite frankly this song blows not even just that D4vd sounds like Alex Turner from the Arctic Monkeys having a wrench progressively tightened on his buts as he croons his way through this self pity party of a song over a guitar that has all the flavour of liquid diarrhoea. Yuck!

"Evergreen (You Didn't Deserve Me At All)" by Omar Apollo

This is an interesting one, Omar Apollo is a bilingual (he sings in English and Spanish) American singer-songwriter with this song getting traction and I have to say this is pretty excellent, it's a slice of r&b soul that these days does not get the attention it so richly deserves. Apollo is trying desperately to move on from a broken relationship but is finding it difficult to move on because he still has real feelings for this person despite the shitty things they have done to him, it's a great song worth checking  out.

"Star Walkin'" by Lil Nas X

The newest Lil Nas X song comes from a collab with League of Legends and wow, I don't feel anything at all from this, it is not a bad song but it sounds oddly calculating and sterile which is weird coming from Lil Nas X of all people but he has done so much better than this. 

"Unholy" by Sam Smith and Kim Petras

See, this is why we should have made "Diamonds" a hit because then at least there would be no reason for Sam Smith and Kim Petras to get in a studio and make this cacophonous train wreck where lyrically Smith and Petras aren't on the same god damn page, Smith is trying to get naughty over what this guy does behind his wife's back while Petras is trying to get all steamy while name dropping expensive brand! What is worse is that this song sounds like a wall of noise... awful...

"Ferrari" by James Hype & Miggy Dela Rosa

English pair James Hype and Miggy Dela Rosa get together to create a weird song where they conflate sex and Ferraris over this weirdly flat groove which I guess kind of makes sense if he is comparing his sexual performance to a Ferrari...it's just a weird song that does nothing for me, that's all.

"How Do I Say Goodbye" by Dean Lewis

Okay so this is probably the best song on that new mediocre Dean Lewis album,  I have pretty much come to the conclusion that Lewis is the Australian version of Lewis Capaldi  only Lewis seems to have more of an idea of his vocal range. On this particular song, Lewis is questioning how he can possibly say goodbye to his dying father when his father has been a big part of Lewis's life...honestly there's better songs in this vein but this has its moments, it's fine.

"Celestial" by Ed Sheeran

Okay so Ed Sheeran made this song for that new Pokemon game and I actually really like this mostly because I think it has the potential to be a pretty damn great pop rock song...the foundations are there...if only they hadn't gone down the EDM breakdown route. Also Ed Sheeran singing this to a Squirtle sounds all sorts of cute.

"Edging" by Blink-182

Oh God...why? This is not the sort of comeback that anyone could have wanted from  Blink 182, this is bad in all of kinds of ways where the production doesn't make any of the wilful immaturity on display seem fun plus the lyrics are painfully juvenile so yeah avoid this garbage...next!

"Poland" by Lil Yachty 

This only got traction because of the forced  "I took a wock to Poland" meme otherwise there's nothing much else to this pointless fragment of a song.

"Bones" by Imagine Dragons

Oh geez, then again maybe I was being harsh on Blink 182 because yeah this song might be the most irritating thing this band have released since "Enemeeeeee". That God damn painful hook that sounds like children shrieking or mice after finding a shred of moldy cheese. Ugh. 

" Miss You" by Oliver Tree and Robin Schulz

Okay so producer Siouthstar took a Oliver Tree song called "Jerk" and used a  sample that was cleared by Tree's label for a song called "Miss You", fellow producer Robin Schulz picked up the song, made a few quick changes, did not get permission and released in what seems plagiarism however let's deal with the fact that this sounds like a nuclear propulsion, it's terribly mixed and Oliver Tree's voice sounds shrill...next!

"Snow on the Beach" by Taylor Swift  feat. Lana Del Rey

Now into the first of three songs from Taylor Swift's pretty damn great album "Midnights", this one featuring Lana Del Rey on backing vocals and yeah this one has been growing on me a lot, it just manages to sound absolutely gorgeous and while I at first thought Lana was was wasted just serving backing vocals, I can't deny it works, check it out.

"Lavender Haze" by Taylor Swift

The album opener that like "Snow on the Beach" has really grown on me with its warped melody and groove that reminds me a lot of trends in modern r'n'b plus lyrics where Taylor sings about avoiding tabloid speculation about her relationship with her boyfriend, Joe Alwyn. I will also note that the hook can get stuck in your head.

"Anti Hero" by Taylor Swift

 I have been wanting to talk about this song for ages because my God, this is Taylor's best lead single to date and one of my favourite songs of 2022 regardless of it being a hit or not, the lyrics of this song pack an incredible punch with Taylor realising that she's the problem in the eyes of some people and it must be exhausting for them to cheer for her the anti hero and to highlight that she repeatedly sings "it's me, hi, the problem is me:" until her voice goes ragged. The 80s style synths and the vocal harmonies just make this song stand out. This is Taylor Swift at her best

Worst of the month: "Miss You" by Robin Schulz and Oliver Tree

Dishonourable Mention: "Romantic Homicide " by D4VD and "Poland" by Lil Yachty

Honourable Mention: "Evergreen (You Didn't Deserve Me At All) by Omar Apollo and "Snow on the Beach" by Taylor Swift feat Lana Del Rey 

Best of the Month: "Anti-Hero" by Taylor Swift (duh)

ARIA Singles Top 50 New Entries Special: September

 "I'm Good (Blue)" by David Guetta and Bebe Rexha

Oh good lord, I guess it makes sense that these two would jump on a sample of Eiffel 65's 2000 hit "Blue (Da Ba Dee)" like everybody LAST YEAR was doing out of sheer desperation for a hit so this really is trend chasing except it shows that Guetta is out of ideas and this trend was played out last fucking year, Bebe Rexha sounds nasal and for somebody claiming she's good...she sounds miserable. One of the worst songs of the year!

"Hold Me Closer" by Elton John and Britney Spears

This is exactly why we should not have allowed "Cold Heart" to become a massive hit last year because it gaves Elton John a convenient to mash more of his back catalogue together into a greasy sounding homogeneous clusterfuck this time using "Don't Go Breaking Heart", "The One" and "Tiny Dancer" and like "Cold Heart", it saps both Elton and Britney of their personalities while destroying two absolute classics. Elton, please stop this!

"Something In the Orange" by Zach Bryan

Uhh... what the hell? Oklahoma singer songwriter and independent country artist Zach Bryan makes a surprise but very welcome debut on the ARIA singles chart with this song from his album this year "American Heartbreak" and yeah, I love this! It's a dark, broody song about the end of a relationship and my goodness, it makes use of negative space and and atmosphere to create the dark and haunting atmosphere, I cannot believe this charted but I am so happy it did.

"New Gold" by Gorillaz, Tame Impala and Bootie Brown

Oh so here's another surprise...only unfortunately this is nowhere as good as I was hoping with those annoying beeps that sound like some emergency is about to happen before more electronics hit Kevin Parker 's hook, it just doesn't sound good or come together that well...next!

"2 Be Loved (Am I ready)" by Lizzo

Well, it's fairly clear the 80s called because song sounds like something that would fit on a Jane Fonda workout tape, it's a song where Lizzo is asking herself if she's ready to be loved however this just doesn't work for me due to how oddly stiff and cheap the song sounds, there's just no nervous tension  to the production which you would think a song like this would need.

"Beautiful Crazy" by Luke Combs

I kind of suspected that in the wake of "The Kind of Love We Make" becoming a surprise hit this year that we were going to get older Luke Combs songs and well...the production is pretty with fiddle playing off a guitar but my problem is with the content about how this girl is beautiful but she's crazy yet there's nothing in the song that make me believe she's crazy...yeah she makes plans and changes her mind...that ain't crazy, Luke!

"When It Rains, It Pours" by Luke Combs 

Second Luke Combs song and well, okay, it's a genuine country song with a gentle guitar rollick and drum machines but again the problem here is the lyrics where this girl leaves him and now he is having all this good luck and is using his good fortune to be sour towards this girl and her mother and that kind of thing just puts me off the song.

"Forget Me" by Lewis Capaldi

The dreaded return of Lewis Capaldi and you know this not bad? Yeah the lyrics are still sour and again Capaldi sounds like he has no real idea of his vocal range or he has been violently kicked in the scrotum on the hook however I really like the melody courtesy of that piano so yeah, I don't mind this.

"Bound 2" by Kanye West

No...just no...

"Hotel" by Montell Fish

Okay, Christian artist Montell Fish had his break through on Tik Tok hence landing on the singles chart and...well, I don't hear the appeal at all, fuzzed out guitar because the song drops so we can hear Fish doing his best crooning The Weeknd impression which really did nothing for so let's just move on...

"Billie Eilish" by Armani White

Okay, this is blatant clickbait, using Billie Eilish's name just to get attention for your clunky trap song that's all about flexing and gun play, the only thing saving this is the fact that White has some charisma and energy compared to many in his genre but that won't make me come back to this.

"Shut Down" by Blackpink 

So this was the only song from that Blackpink album apart from "Pink Venom" to chart and this is not one of the better songs from that album with the squealing instrumentation that would cause dogs to run off bridges and the girls are trying so hard to be aggressive and 'shut down' those who do them wrong, it's kind of adorable but otherwise it sounds like a R ihanna 2015 reject.

Worst: "I'm Good (Blue)" by David Guetta and Bebe Rexha 

Dishonourable mention: "Hold Me Closer" by Elton John and Britney Spears

Honourable Mention: "Forget Me " by Lewis Capaldi 

Best of the Week: "Something In the Orange" by Zach Bryan

ARIA Singles Top 50 Special: August

 Kind of hoping August is better in terms of the new entries especially with how busy it was!

"Are You Entertained?" by Russ feat Ed Sheeran

Okay, we're starting with a new single from mediocre American rapper Russ who has had some success in the US, he teamed up with Ed Sheeran for this and...it's fine? I am not too keen on the content in Russ's verse where mentions 'retiring your parent'...come on dude however the trap production sounds good and Ed Sheeran sounds solid as hell rapping so yeah this is better than I expected.

"Remember" by Becky Hill and David Guetta

Sigh...I have never cared for either Becky Hill or David Guetta, mostly Becky Hill is not all that interesting vocals wise and David Guetta's pass ran out in 2010 so I was worried about this song. 

Turns out my worries were warranted because this is a pretty generic EDM song, sure Guetta gives Hill's weak vocals room to breathe but the lyrics feel clingy and the production feels too chipper to match the content...next!

"The 30th" by Billie Eilish 

Not surprising Billie Eilish dropped a doubled sided single, she did that with success with "Everything I Wanted" in 2020 and with this being the B side, I was curious about what this song had to offer so what did we get?

Uhh, this is genuinely excellent, it's a song about somebody Billie loves being in a car accident, Billie's fears for this person and the realisation that this friend escaped the crash alive however its the production that tips this into greatness with Finneas smartly creating a tense nervous atmosphere at first reflective of worry before the tension builds ands dissipates into joy as Billie shouts "You're alive" over and over so yeah this is a master-class...check this out!

"TV" by Billie Eilish 

So this is the single from the EP, it's dark acoustic song where slams the world for gawking at the Johnny Depp and Amber Heard trial while ignoring the there's bigger and more systemic issues for American women confront like the overturn of Roe v. Wade and the subsequent loss of easy abortion access for women and how watching TV helped Billie ignore the relationship issues she was facing. 

Yeah this a pretty good yet confronting song that people will overlook because nobody wants confronting truth in pop music these days just like how people willingly want to ignore issues plaguing society through watching sport. Just saying.

"Doja" by Central Cee

So I don't care for Central Cee, everything I've heard from him is either mediocre or downright ass so I was dreading and yeah, this is complete garbage that samples Gwen Stefani and Eve's 2001 hit "Let Me Blow Your Mind" before diving heard first into rickety percussion and Central Cee opening his verse with "How can I be homophobic, my bitch is gay" which for fucking obvious reasons is stupid, she's bisexuality if she's into men and women! 

This whole song just feels like a grab for attention especially with the name dropping of Doja Cat so yeah the next time, this will get attention on the worst list because this is fucking garbage.

"Die for You" by The Weeknd

Australia, what the hell? You could have made "Out Of Time" a hit instead of a song from The Weeknd's 2016 album "Starboy", it went viral this year on Tik Tok. Content wise, it's The Weeknd feeling conflicted about the end of his relationship due to the very real feelings he still has for her, he still loves her.

I just wish the production did not sound so headache inducing with squelching facts noise over The Weeknd singing, there's better on Starboy...next!

"Another Love" by Tom Odell

Another song that went viral courtesy of it becoming something of an anthem for Ukrainian resistance against Russia, this time from British singer songwriter Tom Odell with this particular song being from his 2013 debut single which peaked at number ten in its original run in the UK and I have today, this is actually a really sad but well crafted song about his own frustration and anger at falling for this girl he just cannot be with.

What tips this toward excellent is the gentle piano at the beginning before the song slowly builds momentum from the second verse as the pianos ramp up the anger and the backing vocals kick in so yeah I like this...check it out.

"Sweater Weather" by The Neighbourhood 

So turning now to another 2013 song this time from American alternative band The Neighbourhood and wow the mixing is a mess to the point I cannot point to a defining melody and those vocals do nothing for so I'll pass.

"Summer Renaissance" by Beyonce

Alright, time to deal with the Beyonce album bomb with this being the first of three songs I am covering from it and I went into this hoping it is better than "Break My Soul" which has only gotten increasingly more annoying as time has passed this year and unfortunately this feels like a clattering and messy noise fest like they are trying to merge two or three different ideas into one song which includes sampling Donna Summer's "I Feel Love". Ehh, not a fan

"Alien Superstar" by Beyonce

Second Beyonce song and again we have another interpolation of "I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred but oof, this is just not good especially as this air of arrogance that you'd think Beyonce would better than. It's not the worst song I've heard but it's sure disappointing.

"Cuff It" by Beyonce

The last of the Beyonce songs and this is probably the best of three songs with its bouncy groove and a sound that reminds me a lot of Donna Summer's 70s music. Yeah, the writing feels a little clunky but regardless, I'll take it.

"Snap" by Rosa Linn

Oh wow, this isn't the song from Eurovision I expected to go viral on Tik Tok but anyway this is Armenian artist Rosa Linn's big breakthrough...I just wish the song was better especially as the music reminds me a lot of "Ho Hey" by The Lumineers (a song I don't particularly care for) with very pop folk adjacent sound. The content of the song is fine enough where she is musing on getting rid of this ex before she snaps or breaks. Ehh, it's okay...I guess?

"Numb" by Marshello & Khalid

So a collab between Marshmellow and Khalid, Khalid has been releasing singles of his own this with no real chart impact (disappointing given "Skyline" is great) so how is this song?

It's fine? My two biggest issues are the annoying knock of the beat at the end of the chorus while Khalid repeats the word "numb" into incoherence and how "I, I wanna get numb. And forget where I'm from" can be misheard as "I, I wanna get numb and fuck you out in front" but otherwise this is a pretty chipper song that would kill it during summer

"Not Over Yet" by KSI feat. Tom Grennan

Okay, KSI is back with a new single, this time with crooner Tom Grennan. I have say this pretty solid. It's got a good hook and a decent drum rhythm with the content of the song being about self doubt and KSI's struggle to overcome those feelings and while I am not that keen on Grennan's vocal delivery in the latter half of the song, it's still one of KSI's best to date.

"Love Lost" by Mac Miller

So I am going to be honest here, Mac Miller's music has never been my thing, I just never cared for it but anyway this song is from Miller's 2011 mixtape "I Love Life, Thank You" and the sample of Temper Trap's song of the same name gives the song a solid bounce and groove. Just a shame the writing feels a bit weird and clunky so it just does not work in the way I was hoping, it's not bad though.

"Bad Decisions" by Benny Blanco, BTS and Snoop Dogg

Well got to say I saw two thirds of this collaboration coming but what the hell is Snoop Dogg doing here? Well it turns out he shares a pretty stilted verse with Jung Kook before having a verse to himself, the issue here though is the production, there's no sense of danger in it to make anyone think there's going to be consequences  for the bade decisions, it's just forgettable pop EDM fluff.

"Under the Influence" by Chris Brown 

Oh get fucked. I'm not going to be engaging with or indulging with the attempted redemption arc of Chris Brown . I don't care this crap went viral. Fuck it off.

"Staying Alive" by DJ Khaled feat. Drake and Lil Baby

So I am not going to preamble with this song because it's fucking dreadful which keeps up DJ Khaled and Drake's record of making miserable music together and really, miserable is the correct description for this. For a song all about staying alive, it sounds like a song sung in the five minutes before somebody carks it, also to sample a classic 70s disco song like "Stayin' Alive" by The Bee Gees and turn into miserable trap drudge should be a fucking crime! Next....

"Super Freaky Girl" by Nicki Minaj 

Nicki Minaj is back with maybe her best single to date? Yeah the sample of "Superfreak" by Rick James is obvious but I like how Nicki uses the sample to give the song a memorable hook even if the elongated e is kind of annoying and the rest of the song lyrically is nothing new for Nicki Minaj but you know what? It's pretty good and that's weird for me to say.

"Afraid to Feel by LF System

Oh, this finally turned up on the ARIA chart... about time given it has been number one in the UK. LF Sstem are a British do who created this mix in 2019 which includes a interpolation of Silk's 1979 hit "I Can't Stop (Turning You On)" just slowing down Louise Clare Marshall's vocals  and yeah, this might be the best bit of sampling from any song this month, it sounds fantastic even with multiple tempo changes that are set up superbly, let's make this a hit please!.

"Pink Venom" by Blackpink

I was dreading covering this song mostly because I find their production to quite often be clattering headache inducing noise and yet again this is no  different unfortunately which does prevent  me from enjoying it, not helped by the repetitive lyrics, ehh... I'll pass.

"B.O.T.A (Baddest Of Them All" by Eliza Rose and Interplanetary Criminals

Well, here's an interesting song from British DJ Eliza Rose and producer Interplanetary Criminals and samples the synth line from Lisa Lisa and The Cult Jam's song "Let The Beat Hitler, Part 2" so how's the song? Well, it's certainly interesting, it's sound is reminiscent of 90s dance hits like "Encore Une Foi" by Sash!, Eliza Roses's more nasal delivery on the verses doesn't bother me much, I like it.

Let's deal with the crap first, dishonourable mention to "Under The Influence" by Chris Brown. Worst of the month is a tie between "Doja" by Central Cee and "Staying Alive" by DJ Khaled, Drake and Lil Baby.

However  we did get some good to great stuff, Honourable Mention  goes to "Afraid to Feel" by LF System. Best of the month is also a tie with "The 30" by Billie Eilish and "Another Love" by Tom Odell sharing the honour.

ARIA Singles Top 50: Special. July's New Entries

 Due to my hiatus because of health issues, I have decided to cover the new entries from the period of my hiatus as specials 

"Hot Sh*t" by Cardi B feat. Lil Durk and Kanye West

So what on earth is happening with the rollout for this second album by Cardi B? Seems like we've heard a lot about it with multiple singles with this one being the latest and well...the only reason anyone would listen to this is Cardi B because it's not like the beat is anything to write home about or the verses from Lil Durk and Kanye West (his verse left me asking why he is even on this song in the first place)

"Master of Puppets" by Metallica.

"Stranger Things" does it again with the title track of Metallica's 1986 album and really, I will keep it short because yeah, it's pretty much Metallica at the top of their game. Definitely worth checking out!

"Sway My Way" by R3hab and Amy Shark

Well it's about time we got new music from Amy Shark, just a shame that she's teamed up with producer R3hab for a song where the production makes her sound tinny in the mix and devoid of emotion but the most annoying part is that the song takes the melody of Bic Runga's 1998 hit "Sway" and manages to turn a fantastic melody into another generic EDM cut. Yeah, this sucks...next!

"Bad Habit" by Steve Lacy

Okay so American singer-songwriter,  musician and producer Steve Lacy hit the chart after going viral for months with "Dark Red" and well, it's okay? The verses are kind of overwhelmed by the percussion but that melodic 80s hook in the chorus makes this work for me. It's good but  not great.

"Betty (Get Money)" by Yung Gravy

You could have warned me a Rickroll was coming up because yeah the sample of Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give you up" is the most interesting thing about this song from American rapper Yung Gravy. Lyrically the song is all about his chase for money and it feels so uninspired...next!

"From Paris to Tokyo" by Fivio Foreign feat The Kid Laroi

Going to say when you sample a crummy Far East Movement song. Seriously... it's not like either Fivio Foreign or The Kid Laroi are really adding much in the way of content to a pretty generic song. This is pretty forgettable.

Wow... July was just garbage for the new entries. Best is going to "Master of Puppets" by Metallica pretty damn easily. Honourable Mention to "Bad Habits" by Steve Lacy.

As for the bad, dishonourable mention goes to "Hot S***" by Cardi B feat. Lil Durk Kanye West because yeah Cardi doesn't save it from being bad. Worst goes to "Sway My Way" by R3hab and Amy Shark...thank goodness, Amy's new song is much better!

ARIA Singles Top 50 Top Ten/Chart Review. 4th July. Where DId Left and Right Go?

 Well...we got a cooldown week here which was to be expected as there seems to be a pause in the big releases...at least for now. Also it looks like we finally have a battle for the top spot so let's get to that top ten where "Running Up That Hill (Deal With God)" by Kate Bush returning to number one for a third week due to a renewed push on streaming and sales. 

All this pushed Joji's "Glimpse of Us" back to number two but it's right there on streaming, it just needs to pick up on sales and Youtube even so I can still see this returning to number one.

That's not the case for "As It Was" by Harry Styles which remained stuck at number three as it's hanging in on sales but streaming is starting to slow down that if a challenger comes along, it's going to face a battle which may not come from Lizzo's "About Damn Time" up one to number four but from Doja Cat's "Vegas" which climbed three places to number five...now this song has grown on me a little bit so I'm fine with it here for now.

Remaining at number six is "First Class" by Jack Harlow as "Jimmy Crooks" by Drake feat. 21 Savage slipped three places to number seven. Falling back one place to number eight is "Heat Waves" by Glass Animals. 

As expected, breaking into the top ten up a starting twenty three spots is "Break My Soul" by Beyonce at number nine and given my feelings on the song are confused...yeah, I am not sure how I feel about it.

Holding steady at number ten is "Stay" by The Kid Laroi feat. Justin Bieber. 

Gains

So apart from "Break My Soul" having it's big gain into the top ten and "Sunroof" by Nicky Youre and Dazy up six to 25 were a slew of songs that just rebounded, most of them older songs like "Good 4 U" by Olivia Rodrigo which went up four to 34 and "Easy On Me" by Adele up seven to 41 but that was about it really.

Re-Entries

This week saw the return of "Blinding Lights" by The Weeknd at 45.

Losers

There's quite few this week..."Die Young" by Sleepy Hallow feat. 347aidan down eight to 50 while "Wait A Minute" by Willow which slipped seven to 48. 

Two Harry Styles songs also took sizeable tumbles again with "Matilda" down twelve to 39 and "Music for A Sushi Restaurant" down nine to 38.

"Cooped Up" by Post Malone feat. Roddy Ricch freefell down eight to 32 while "Sticky" by Drake lost its stickiness to slide twelve spots to stick to number 27 while "Massive" slumped nine to 21 also for Drake.

Drop Outs

Not complaining about our drop outs this week with "Daylight" by Harry Styles, "Clarity" by Vance Joy and "In the Stars' by Benson Boone all leaving. 

New Entries

Just the two new entries this week so let's begin with...

43. "Where Did You Go" by Jax Jones feat. MNEK

About time this charted in Australia, this song has been charting in the UK for the last couple of months now so it took it's sweet damn time to get here and well it turns out that Jax Jones is heading into mid 90s eurodance trends with this song, its definitely straight out of 1996/1997 and even if I do find elements of the production annoying, that breakdown doesn't do much for me at all, MNEK sounds great here as he always does on EDM/eurodance songs, it's not a great song but hey, it's still pretty good, I'll take this.

19. "Left and Right" by Charlie Puth feat. Jungkook 

Well, this is a collab I should have seen coming. Charlie Puth collabing with a member of BTS has been on the cards for awhile now so what did we get from this collab? Well, to tell you the truth a song I am going to want to forget pretty quickly because wow, Charlie Puth is absolutely the worst part of his own song here,.his squeaky as hell vocal delivery on one of the more generic choruses on a pop song in 2022. Jungkook is probably the best thing over this production where he manages to sound a heck of a lot better than Charlie but it's  not enough to save it.

It's getting the worst of the week while "Where Did You Go" by Jax Jones feat. MNEK gets the best of the week.

Next week is set to be a quiet one so we'll see what happens when the chart updates at 5pm AEST on Friday

Lookin' Fine '89. 2nd July. If Something Special Falls.

 Ughhh. Another week and the revolving door at number one continues on, Australia, please come to a fucking consensus, would you? Although the competition at the top is interesting, it'd be nice if things could just settle down a little. Anyway let's get to our top ten where we do have a new number one, it comes in the form of Swedish pop duo Roxette with "The Look", now given how shaky the number one position has been over recent weeks I am not going to make any predictions it can hold on to it next week but it got there courtesy of fantastic sales. 

To my surprise, hanging strong at number two is "Bedroom Eyes" by Kate Ceberano and while I don't see it as a player for number one just yet, I am actually pleased it's sticking around.

The same can't be said for "Wind Beneath My Wings" by Bette Midler...less said the better. Roxette's rise to number one though did see "Eternal Flame" by The Bangles pushed back to number four and it could come under pressure from "Express Yourself" by Madonna which rose one to number five. 

Kylie Minogue's "Hand On Your Heart" slipped back one spot to number six, kind of thought this one would fall away, I'm surprised. Unfortunately rising two places to number seven is "Iko Iko" by The Belle Stars because of course it did.

Joining the top ten having risen fourt spots to number eight is "Sealed with a Kiss" by Jason Donovan (how many more sappy fucking ballads do ya all want?) while "Good Thing" by Fine Young Cannibals fell two places to number nine

Wrapping up the top ten is "Pop Singer" by John Cougar Mellencamp which fell two places to number ten.

Gains

We're starting off the gains on a not so good note because somehow "You Got It (The Right Stuff" by New Kids on the Block jumped from 26 to be on the cusp of the top ten at number 11 however in much better news "Onion Skin" by Boom Crash Opera climbed twenty places to 17 while "I Won't Back Down" by Tom Petty climbed two places to break into the top twenty at 19.

Continuing the good news is "Telephone Booth" by Ian Moss which climbed twenty spots to 20. Def Leppard have hit take off with "Rocket" up from 35 to 21. 

The fascination with sacchairine ballads continues though because "If You Don't Know Me By Now" by Simply Red gained from 31 to 23 while "Baby I Don't Care" by Transvision Vamp climbed five to 24.

"Rooms on Fire" by Stevie Nicks jumped eight places to 26 while "Satisifed" by Richard Marx climbed nine places to 27. 

"My Brave Face" by Paul McCartney jumped nine to to 30 while "I Only Wanna Be With You" by Samantha Fox rebounded six to 31.

"Bed of Nails" by Ross Wilson got an eleven place boost to 37. 

Losers

It was just as busy on the losers front so let's start with "Let Me Be" by Daryl Braithwaite which collapsed eleven places to 49 while "Change His Ways" by Robert Palmer slipped from 44 to 48 and "Compulsory Hero" by 1927 slipped six to 47. 

"Chained to The Wheel" by The Black Sorrows tumbled from 32 to 46, "Stop!" by Sam Brown got crunched down from 24 to 42 and "Lullaby" by The Cure got hit down eleven to 41.

"Hurricane" by James Freud got some penetration down from 25 to 40 this week while "Wild Thing" by Tone Loc lost twelve places to 36, "Come Anytime" by Hoodoo Gurus slipped from 27 to 34 and "Ring My Bell" by Collette is thankfully ringing a litttle quieter having plunged from 17 to 33.

Johnny Diesel & The Injectors are doing their own crying as "Cry in Shame" fell twelve places to 32, "I'll be There for You" by Bon Jovi skidded six places to 29 and finally former chart topper "The Living Years" by Mike + The Mechanics fell twelve to 28. 

New Entries

Three new entries this week beginning with...

50. "Something Special" by Clive Young

So we're starting off with an artist that there's sweet fuck all information about Clive Young and this song on the internet so I am basically just going to deal with the song and well it's a pretty standard 1989 pop song that starts interestingly enough but devolves into the usual fare for 1989. Don't get me wrong, the song itself is fine with Young begging a girl to show him something special to turn his heart around. I don't hate this but I certainly don't love it either. 

45. "Ferry 'Cross the Mersey" by The Christians, Holly Johnson, Paul McCartney, Gerry Marsden & Stock Aitken and Waterman

So I am going to go a little easy on this one, yeah, it's a cover of "Ferry 'Cross the Mersey" that was recorded and released by Gerry and The Pacemakers in 1964 but this cover has a purpose to raise money for the victims of the Hillsborough football disaster where 96 Liverpool fans were crushed to death during the F.A. Cup semi final against Nottingham Forrest...that's all I can really say about it.

Rest in peace to the Liverpool 96. 

43. "If A Tree Falls" by Bruce Cockburn

So final song of the week comes from Canadian singer-songwriter Bruce Cockburn and wow...this is a song that really hits a mark about the environment as it asks the pertinent questions if anyone actually cares about the state of the environment or if a tree has fallen in a forest, has anyone heard it and how we're damaging our environment instead of doing what we can to conserve it over this rollicking almost country sounding guitar and that hook is fantastic. All in all, this song is an important one.

So I'm going to dispense with worst of the week because there's nothing that bad but best is going to "If A Tree Falls" by Bruce Cockburn